Chapter Seventeen

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Elder

 

 

I DIDN’T KNOW what the fuck I was doing.

Pim would no doubt laugh in my face or, worse, roll her eyes at such a stupid extravagance, or even worse, look at me differently for spending ridiculous sums of money on something no normal person should own.

But as we stepped into the elevator and I pressed the bottom level where the storage rooms, kitchen cold stores, and a motorbike rested, I told myself this was a good decision.

I’d bought it for times like this.

Originally, I thought it would be for my family with young cousins to impress, but that would never happen, and besides…this was even better.

Pim was better.

Pim was everything.

As the elevator doors opened, Pim looked up. Instead of the expected question of ‘why did you bring me to the working part of the ship’, she seemed at ease—as if she’d been down here before.

I frowned.

She had full run of the place—nothing was out of bounds. Well, the level where I argued with Selix yesterday I’d prefer she didn’t see (or anyone else for that matter). I didn’t know how I felt having her snoop, learning pieces about me without me telling her.

“Have you been here before?” I kept my voice light when really my question was heavy. If she had explored, what had she discovered? She wouldn’t have seen what I was about to show her as it was behind a locked door and only I had the key, but still…my privacy had been tiptoed through.

She rubbed her arm, her gaze lighting on the wooden grates with a multitude of languages spray-painted on the front to the strapped and chocked motorbike. “Um, I might’ve explored a little.”

“When?” My nostrils flared trying to taste her truth.

“Yesterday.”

“Did you go anywhere else yesterday?” My back prickled. “Any other levels?”

She shrugged, laughing awkwardly with a guilty ring. “Only a couple. I got hungry and went to the kitchen for lunch then back to my room.” Flashing me a look, she strode ahead, weaving around the strapping holding everything secure. “What did you want to show me down here?” Tossing over her shoulder, deliberately changing the subject, she pouted. “I can’t believe I’m missing dolphins for this.”

I had a good mind to force her back to my interrogation, but after being at odds for days, I wanted to find that happy place again.

I needed it.

The kiss on the deck had been the only good thing in my life, and the craving to continue had blended with the addiction for sex and the comfort of connection.

I wanted to touch her.

I just didn’t want it getting out of control.

“You won’t be missing out for long.” Guiding her around a row of heavy-duty freezers and a huge walk-in fridge, I fumbled for the key chain in my pocket. “You’ll see.”

Pim followed, her face bright and quizzical. “You know…this isn’t the prettiest level, but I find it fascinating.” She trailed her fingers over a crate labelled fragile.

I had no idea what was inside, but I paid my staff enough to figure it out. They had carte blanche to order more, purchase whatever, and stay on top of usage versus expenditure.

“This way.”

She nodded with a soft smile as I marched ahead down the long corridor made up of stacked parcels, boxes, and containers. This level had no individual rooms apart from the area I was about to show her.

In my profession—the career of making toys for the mega rich and constantly having to come up with new and unique additions to best some other wealthy bastard’s plaything—I experimented on the Phantom.

This yacht was the first to have it. It had been the showpiece to earn more business than I could handle. And a luxury I hadn’t seen since I built the fucking thing.

“Oh, cool.” Pim pointed at a jet ski that I’d completely forgotten, resting beneath a clear tarpaulin.

Unwanted millionaire toys all gathering dust.

What if this other toy didn’t start? What if dragging her down here was an utter mistake and she missed out on the dolphins while I screwed around with something I should never have purchased in the first place?

My heart sped up with worry as we reached the end of the long yacht and paused. My hand landed on the doorknob of a special airlock. The large circular dial operated hundreds of little seals and locking mechanisms, completely unneeded unless someone tried to creep aboard this way or we sprung a leak.

“Ready?”

Pim joined me, her body so small beside mine. “What’s in there?”

“You’re about to find out.”

She crossed her arms as if hugging herself would offer some form of protection. “Okay…”

Forcing myself to look away and ignore my own self-consciousness, I unwound the dial, unlocked the final seal with my key, and pushed the thick barricade open.

The sound of air rushing into the sealed chamber made a noise like a thundering tornado, only to end a fraction of a second later.

Pim shook her head in awe. “My ears just popped.”

“That’s because this place has its own circulation. It’s completely cut off from the rest of the ship.”

“Why?”

“For safety.”

She pursed her lips as I stepped aside, letting her pass.

The room we stood in was cylindrical and held hooks and shelves for fresh towels, dressing gowns, and an array of bright swimming gear. Snorkels and masks, dive equipment, bikinis and shorts.

No expense was spared.

And nothing had been touched.

I hoped she wouldn’t notice the child-size swimming gear or the still-in-their boxes inflatable lilos and rubber rings.

The silver walls held no windows or portals. The only way in and out were two doors—the one we came through and another at the end of the tube-like room.

“What is this place?” Pim moved forward in awe.

I turned and closed the door, wincing a little as the seals clicked into place, cutting us off from the rest of the yacht.

The new air pressure pushed down on us—warm and muggy, inviting us to explore the world where such a breeze came from.

“It’s a changing room.”

“If it’s just a changing room why the bombproof door?” She turned to face me, eyebrows high.

“The room we’re about to enter is special. It’s secure, but in the case of an emergency, it could flood. The door is to prevent us from sinking if that happens.”

She gulped. “Having a room that floods doesn’t sound like the brightest idea when you live on the ocean.”

I chuckled. “You might change your mind when you see what’s in there.”

“What is in there?”

“So impatient.” Flashing her a smile, I moved toward the racks of bikinis and selected an emerald satin criss-cross thing. I tossed it to her. “Here, put this on.”

She caught it mid-air. “Why?”

“Stop asking so many questions. Do you want to see the dolphins or not?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then. Obey me and put the bikini on.”

“But…” She fingered the brightly coloured Lycra. “There aren’t any curtains or doors.”

I swallowed my laugh. “You’re saying you’re shy all of a sudden? The girl who is more comfortable naked than clothed?”

She threw me a dirty look, her fingers straying to the slouchy t-shirt barely clinging to her shoulders. “I’m saying I’m trying to make this easier on you.”

“On me?” I stabbed my chest with my finger. “How is a changing room going to help me?”

She rolled her eyes as if I was being deliberately obtuse. Which I couldn’t deny, I was.

I hadn’t come here with the intention of perving at her while she changed in front of me. But now, faced with the opportunity of seeing her naked and being allowed to stare but not touch made me rock fucking hard and utterly unable to stop.

I really should’ve thought this through.

I should’ve ordered her to change before coming into this tight chamber.

I should’ve commanded her to wear a parka and ski boots instead of throwing scraps of material at her and telling her to strip.

Fuck, just the thought of her stripping made my cock leap for attention.

Her attention.

Bad, bad idea.

I wouldn’t be able to look without touching. I’d need to feel her so much, my heart would probably stop if I didn’t.

“Shit.” I gulped, backing up a step. “I’ll—I’ll turn around.” Grabbing a pair of black swimming shorts, I went as far as I could and faced away.

It didn’t help.

My mind took over, providing a private strip show where Pim shrugged out of her t-shirt and wriggled out of her shorts.

I groaned, digging my fingers into my eyes.

Turn around.

Touch her.

Kiss her.

I locked my knees and ripped my shirt off, giving my hands something to do.

She didn’t move for a moment, but then the softest sounds of her t-shirt and shorts cascading to the floor echoed in my ears as loud as Big Ben. Her breath hitched and the damn silver walls reflected a wavy, distorted figure all skin tones and willowy bending down to step into green bikini briefs.

Goddammit, even looking like a Salvador Dali painting, she was still stunning. I couldn’t tear my eyes away as her reflection reached up and wound her hair into a temporary bun at the base of her skull before tying two triangles over her breasts.

Just knowing how beautiful she was naked made denying myself all that much harder.

She was right.

She wasn’t the one with nakedness issues. It was me. And it wasn’t an issue but an obsession. I could turn and stare at her. I could move and touch her. I could undo the tiny bows and turn her naked all over again. I could sit in the middle of this tunnel, pull her onto my lap, and be inside her within seconds.

We could be joined, connected, instead of on opposite ends of this godforsaken chamber.

I wanted her so much it hurt.

But I didn’t move.

I won over the rampant desire and somehow managed to extract my hands from the twisted swimming shorts that I’d brutalised until I lost circulation.

Staying away from her was getting harder every day.

A few moments ticked past before Pim asked quietly, “Everything okay?”

I nodded curtly. “Fine.”

Her voice broke the spell, and I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans then shoved them down with my boxers in one go. I was barefoot and kicked the offending material away as if it burned.

The most erotic moan met my ears.

Did Pim find me as attractive as I found her? Did she stare at my naked ass and not deplore my male flesh but actually want me as much as I wanted her?

My throat went dry as my cock—now free and no longer restrained in denim—stood to full mast.

The exhibitionist part of myself wanted to turn to face her. To show her the state she put me in. But if I did that—if she looked at me with the same heat from our kiss, if she came toward me and, heaven forbid, grabbed my length and squeezed…

Fuuuck, I almost came just thinking about it.

Trembling, I stepped into the board shorts. I struggled to shove my over-eager erection into the bathers and fasten the Velcro. There would be no hiding my reaction, but it served her right.

She knew the way I thought about her. She understood how much I wanted her. She’d tried to make this easier on me, yet it had made it that much fucking harder.

Kicking my discarded clothes into one of the small partitions, I muttered, “Come on. I need to get out of here.”

She padded closer, looking far too gorgeous and bruised in the strappy green bikini. Acres of delectable flesh painted in a multitude of colours from the asshole who’d caught her stealing. The globes of her breasts sat above ribs darkened by a boot, the swell of her ass creamy apart from a fading mark.

I wanted to commit murder as well as worship her for never complaining, never being less than invincible.

My fists curled as I did my best to curb my temper. No one would hurt her again.

No one.

Drinking in her beauty rather than her injuries, I cursed that everything I wanted to see was kept secret by emerald Lycra and tightly knotted bows.

Her cheeks pinked as I struggled to tug my gaze away.

Her voice turned breathy. “I agree. I’m suddenly feeling rather claustrophobic.”

She was feeling claustrophobic? Try being in my skin when all I wanted to do was attack her. Having her in such a small room—utterly soundproof, completely people proof—made my instincts to climb inside her go berserk.

Spinning the dial on the opposite door, I focused on the sounds of multiple locks slipping from their casings to break the seal and grant us entry into the most surreal place imaginable.

“Oh, my God, Elder.” Pim bowled past me.

I let her, moving aside and closing the door after me.

This room was nothing but extravagance.

Canaletto walnut and polished rosewoods added depth and warmth to eggshell walls. A sprawling couch with a palate of cushions ranging from earth to magenta begged to be lounged upon. A white bar glittered beneath spotlights holding bottles of expensive liquor.

An elevator rested next to the door we’d come through—non-operational but available for when I stopped being so paranoid about infiltrators or flooding. It wasn’t fair for such an incredible space to have access only through the storage area.

Eventually, guests would be able to sail down in the lift, but for now…this place was a private jewel, hidden deep inside my home.

“I don’t know what to say.” Pim spun on the spot, taking in the splashes of artwork and the expensive toy sitting pride of place in a large sunken rectangle next to the couch. It took up most of the space, proudly ready to be the main attraction to any party.

“This is incredible.” Her hands covered her mouth as a purely innocent squeal escaped. “I can’t believe you have a submarine!”

Tension siphoned from my spine at the untamed rapture on her face. When she spun to look at me, her eyes held an unfiltered joy that I’d never hoped to earn.

I’d never seen something so guileless or angelic in my life. She was happy. For the first time, the hardship she carried had been eradicated. Whatever nasty wisdom previously chiselled into her turned into a mischievous charm, allowing her to be juvenile.

Today, right here, I glimpsed what she might’ve looked like as a child. A gorgeous trickster with spun chocolate for hair and new leaves for eyes.

If that was the magic of revealing the three-person cab submarine, then it was worth the expensive price tag a thousand times over.

The large bubble-headed aquatic adventurer looked out of proportion and almost comical out of the water. Large bolts and portals granted rigidity along with as many viewing angles as possible.

“Wait until you’re inside.” I prowled toward the control panel that operated the secret of this place. I’d had a week tutorial on how to use everything required, including driving the sub, but that was years ago.

I should probably have bought Jolfer or someone down to help, but the sub represented too many things I’d given up hoping for. My heart barely tolerated having Pim here, let alone insensitive staff who didn’t know my soul ache.

“Are we going to watch the dolphins in this?”

I nodded, pressing a button. Instantly, the colossal noise of ocean water spilling inside deafened us. Pim jumped as large pumps spurted twenty thousand litres of sea into the space.

“Holy…” She backed up, coming toward me. “That’s why you said it could flood.”

“The hydraulic jets are meant to keep water out when it’s not required, but I’ll never trust anything one hundred percent.” I nudged her shoulder with mine. “Three minutes to fill that pool to the brim. If it can submerge so quickly, imagine what it could do to the rest of the yacht.”

She shivered as the dry-docked submarine that’d been tucked into bed with protective pads on either side slowly began to float.

We didn’t speak as the eight metre long holding tank went from dry to soaking. Finally, the pool reached capacity and the gushing-noise silenced, leaving us in a sparkling new world. The walls glittered with threads of water. Blue and silver and navy and turquoise all rippled over the ceiling and furniture—including us.

Pim held out her hand, twirling her fingers as water reflections danced over her.

Her beauty transformed from stunning to something that reached into my chest and ripped out my useless heart.

Clearing my throat, I grabbed the intercom. I waited for someone to respond on the bridge, then said, “Stop all engines until further notice.”

“Right away, sir.”

Hanging up the receiver, I waited for the constant power whir to dwindle and the forward momentum to be replaced with stationary rocking.

Only then did I press the second button.

A loud click and hissing sounded, slowly transforming the room we stood in.

“Oh, my God, it’s a garage,” Pim murmured as the side of the Phantom opened like any other garage door—ready for us to reverse the submarine then sink into the depths below.

It had to be done with no speed applied; otherwise, the door wouldn’t open due to pressuring currents. It was a risk to cease creating the wake—the dolphins might swim off—but if we hurried, Pim would get to see something extraordinary.

“Come on.” I headed toward the small terrace where loungers and tables were set up.

The submarine hovered, perfectly level and buoyant. I’d bought this thing on a stupid whim thanks to the inventor setting up shop in Monte Carlo and holding an expo right beside my warehouse. It was an idiotic thing to buy, but I hadn’t suffered buyer’s remorse even when I’d had to task my engineers to come up with the floating garage.

Pim spun to face me. “You know? I’m having a moment where this all feels so familiar.”

“Familiar?” My eyebrows rose. “You mean you’ve been in a situation like this before?”

Shit, I owned the bloody thing and hadn’t played with it yet. This was as new to me as it was to her. I couldn’t deny the small rush of jealousy at the thought that I wasn’t the only one with flashy things to impress her with.

Such a superficial want but where Pim was concerned, I no longer held rational thought.

She laughed, shaking her head. “No, not me personally but one of my favourite movies growing up as a child was The Abyss.”

I froze, my bare feet digging into the kwila deck beneath me. “The Abyss?” I did my best to hide my sharp interest.

Finally.

Finally, a tiny glimpse into who she’d been before me and what affections she harboured.

She nodded all bright eyed and happy. “Yes. I loved the water aliens and the way they had those exploring robots.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Not that I’m saying this gorgeous place is anything like the sterile white lab they had.”

I couldn’t move.

Should I tell her?

Should I admit that after weeks of spending time together, of desperately wanting to know more about her, she’d finally given me a scrap of what I ultimately desired? That she’d successfully struck me dumb, given me a pill, and allowed some addictive part of me to relax.

What would she say if I admitted that her favourite movie was one of mine, too?

That as a kid—before all the shit I put my family through—my mother called me a water sprite. She had a hard time getting me out of the bath, the ocean, a pool. Any movie beneath the sea was my ultimate. And The Abyss was every good plotline in one.

Pim continued toward the submarine, a wistful smile on her face. “The romance between those two main characters…Bud and…I can’t remember his wife’s name. They were divorced, but you could tell they still loved each other.” She glanced back at me. “I always loved the bits when they were arguing. In my mind, those fights were saying they still cared. They just didn’t know how to work past everything keeping them apart.”

I cleared my throat again at the overwhelming need in her gaze. The way she threw her words across the water and pushed them into my ears. As if every hidden message and veiled insinuation decided to leap from behind their mask and pummel me over the goddamn head.

She’d told me she loved me. She’d written it in a letter. She’d told me I’d earned that love, but she’d never told me if that love was out of obligation or because her heart mimicked mine and couldn’t imagine a future without each other.

She loved me, but was she in love with me?

I had a throbbing need to put aside the bullshit and ask one question.

The question.

The most important question that negated every other.

Do you want me the way I want you?

Clearing my throat yet again, I did my best to prevent such a soul-destroying query from climbing free. Instead, I grumbled, “His wife’s name was Lindsey.” Moving closer, I leaned over her to push the button on the sub that opened a small waterproof cubby for the handle. Cranking it, the thick Perspex bubble cracked open.

Pim froze.

She stopped breathing.

My arm remained over her shoulder, my half naked body a fraction away from hers.

Stupid idea.

I should’ve asked her to move instead of reaching over...

Sparkling water spangles decorated her body. My mouth went dry as cotton.

Her eyelashes fluttered as she dropped her gaze to my dragon tattooed chest. “You know, when you move, sometimes I think you can fly. That this—” She reached out, stroking the inked scales and horned mythical lizard protecting me. “Lends its wings to you.”

I shivered as her fingertips became fingers then flattened to her palm. The heat of her touch undid me. My back arched, pressing myself into her. My arm fell around her shoulders, jerking her close.

She gasped as I buried my nose in the crook of her neck, breathing her in, using her scent as my new drug to try to remain calm.

Once again, she’d given me access to a small part of her thoughts.

She had no fucking clue what it did to me, how it made me feel, and how fucking desperate it made me for more.

Her arms wrapped around me, hugging me hard.

And I let her.

I didn’t pull away or try to climb on top of her. I fought every instinct and stood ramrod straight, indulging in a simple embrace, all the while quaking beneath so much shit in my life that I could no longer differentiate good or bad, right or wrong, sane or crazy.

Pim nuzzled my chest, pressing fluttering kisses on my dragon’s snout. “I love any dessert that has raspberry. I’m a sucker for romantic comedies, no matter how cheesy. I used to read by torchlight when my mother thought I was in bed. I would do my homework at the last minute as I much preferred to people watch out my window and make up stories about where they were going than do silly arithmetic.”

Her lips glided toward my nipple, making me lock down with lust while shivering with shame that this woman who had been through so much was comforting me.

Comforting me in the best possible way she could. By sharing herself. Not just her body. Her. Every little thing that other people took for granted, I would hoard until my dying breath.

“When I first saw you, I knew you were different. I knew you were stronger, braver, more man than Alrik could ever be. When you first touched me, I hated you because you showed me I wasn’t as dead as I’d hoped. When you first saved me, I feared you because you placed me in a debt that I could never repay. When you first kissed me, I cursed you because I knew you’d be the one to destroy me. Not him. Not anyone. You.”

She shook as badly as I did; her fingernails digging into my back. “Elder, I know this is so hard for you. I know I push you. But I need you to know…I just need you. If we never have sex again, I’m fine with that. If you only want my friendship, I’m ecstatic with that. I just…need to be around you. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I’ll reveal every stupid fact about how I hate milk on cereal and how toast is the most boring food I can imagine. How some days I prefer rain to sun, and some nights, I prefer clouds to stars. I’ll share myself completely with you, not because I owe you for everything that you’ve done, but because I want to. You’re the only one I want to know all of me.”

I very nearly collapsed.

Tenderness threaded with the constant violence in my veins. Words flew into my head and were discarded. Thank yous and appreciations all faded in the beauty of what she’d just done.

Sentences could never do justice to what she’d just given me.

But she had to know. Had to understand how much I fucking loved her for trusting me to share. Pulling away just enough, I used my knuckle to tip up her chin.

Her eyes danced over mine, wary and wishful.

She was so beautiful.

I sucked in a breath just before my lips kissed hers.

This was totally different to anything else we’d shared.

This was soft and sweet and gentle.

This was everything I’d been wanting and everything I could never hope to find.

This was pure fucking love, and I sank to the bottom of it and didn’t care if I drowned.

Pim’s tongue flicked out to taste me. I met her with the tip of mine, sweetly, sedately. For once, the rush in my blood was absent. My brain was quiet…satisfied.

My arms wrapped tighter in gratitude, crushing her far too close. Her breasts pressed against my chest. Her hipbones dug into me, reminding me she was so much smaller and fragile than I was. Another wash of tenderness crippled me, and I gasped into the kiss. I was shocked by the beauty of it—the simplicity of it.

Her hand landed over my heart as if she wanted to make sure the beating muscle was hers, doing her best to tame it.

Pulling away, I nuzzled my nose against hers. “What you’re touching used to be my least vulnerable spot. I swore off feeling anything for anyone. I couldn’t stomach being hurt again.”

She kissed me fleetingly, stealing my voice. “El—”

“But then you came along. A better thief than I could ever be.”

Her eyes widened, the hazel and emerald breathtakingly pretty this close. She laughed softly. “But I was arrested. I suck as a thief.”

“You’re the best thief.” I kissed her nose, her eyelids, her cheeks, and finally her ear where I whispered, “You’ve done what no one else ever could.

“You’ve stolen my heart.”