Chapter Sixteen

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Pimlico

 

 

“GOOD MORNING.”

I glanced up, squinting against the bright sunshine. Elder’s silhouette was black and sharp against the glowing fireball behind him.

Bringing my hand up, I did my best to block the over-saturation of light and focus.

To study his face.

To see if any remnants of his awful overheard epiphany yesterday still lurked on his features.

He gave me a sad half smile. An apologetic warmth in his gaze. He stood in an open neck muslin shirt with light coloured jeans. His hair glistened with shower-droplets and the way his jaw clenched as he studied me made my heart race to eradicate the distance between us.

To clamber off the canvas-covered lifeboat and leap into his arms.

To tell him I’d eavesdropped on his conversation and knew everything.

To promise him I wasn’t afraid, and I would do whatever it took to keep him safe.

But before I could return the greeting or move from my perched spot, he moved closer and sat beside me. His thighs tensed as if ready to spring back up, his body coiled tighter than anyone should be at this time in the morning.

“Mind if I join you?” He glanced at me; his eyes narrowed against the sun.

His hair glittered blue-black while his skin seemed to glow. The sun wasn’t an enemy to him, painting him in warmth and sincerity while, at the same time, revealing fine lines around his mouth and stress that shouldn’t be there.

“Of course.” I scooted sideways to give him more room so the rigging wouldn’t dig into his thigh.

He scowled, seeming hurt that I’d moved away from him.

Worry bubbled. Patting the canvas next to me, I murmured, “Come closer. I don’t want you uncomfortable.”

“Why would I be uncomfortable?”

“The rope.” I pointed at his leg where the giant salt-frosted rope pressed against his jeans. “I’m making you squish onto the end.”

He shook his head, his lips curling into a smirk. “I’m not uncomfortable.”

“Okay.” I glanced away, unable to hold the intensity in his gaze for more than a few seconds. He’d replaced the sunshine with his onyx stare, and it was just as blinding.

Despite his assurances that he wasn’t uncomfortable, he shifted toward me. His hands flexed on the canvas, hoisting his weight closer. I couldn’t look away from his perfect fingers, square nails, or the veins running along the ridges of his knuckles.

Those hands had been on my skin.

Those fingers had been inside my body.

This man had touched me, loved me, and I hadn’t run away screaming.

So why did everything with Elder now feel as if we’d reverted back to strangers? Why couldn’t I figure out what to say? How to act? Why was self-consciousness ruining this sweet, simple moment of sitting quietly in the new sun?

Elder must’ve felt the same way as he moved restlessly, making the pulleys groan a little. He cleared his throat as he looked at the sky, a staff member buffing a banister, a seagull soaring past—anything but me. Anywhere but where I truly wanted him to look.

The silence was no longer a visible thing; it was a wall between us—thick and soundproof.

This couldn’t be allowed to continue.

Turning a little to face him, I placed my hand on his.

He jolted, his fingers curling around the edge of the lifeboat as if having me touch him was physically painful. Which could entirely be the case seeing as he fought more complicated desires than me. A simple touch for me might be a lewd promise to him and one he’d sworn never to break.

My heart hurt as I quickly removed my hand. “Sorry.”

He swallowed a gruff groan. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. My mind sifted through too many things he might be apologising for. But I couldn’t see anything that was his direct fault and not a combined effort on both our parts.

“You’ve nothing to be sor—”

“I do.” Jumping off the lifeboat, he spun in front of me. His large hands landed on my knees and without thinking, he pushed my legs apart.

Today was the first day I’d braved a different wardrobe item other than a baggy dress. I no longer suffered claustrophobia and rather liked the idea of mixing up my style choices. Today, I’d opted for an over-size t-shirt in the softest blue coupled with a pair of grey shorts with a pleat ironed down the front.

It’d taken some getting used to having the waistband tight around my belly, but I was ridiculously thankful I’d worn them as Elder spread my legs and stepped into the gap.

He didn’t seem to notice I’d battled my hatred for clothing and won. He didn’t notice his thumbs circled my naked knees or that his touch tightened on my thighs to jerk me closer.

It all happened too fast to micro-analyse, yet that was exactly what my brain did.

It hyper focused on how warm and hard he was between my legs. How his hands drifted over my thighs and wedged themselves under my ass, squeezing me with a thread of violence. I no longer sat on the lifeboat. I sat on him, and God, the thrill that gave me, the knowledge he’d gathered me close without me fighting for it…

It turned me to stone and jelly all at the same time.

My heart wobbled like some ridiculous raspberry dessert while my limbs locked into granite. I wanted to melt. To throw my arms over his shoulders, cup the back of his head, and bring his lips to mine.

Instead, I waited. I studied. I paused until he blinked hard and his nostrils flared, slowly realising how he’d gone from sitting beside me to wedged as tight against me as he could.

“Ah, shit.” He exhaled heavily, his fingers loosening around my ass.

“Wait,” I murmured as he went to pull away.

He stopped, his eyes meeting mine in a silent plea to tell him what to do.

That look of uncertainty when Elder had been everything but uncertain dove into my chest and took a pitchfork to my heart.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Holding my breath, I reached up and cupped his cheek with a shaking palm. “I’ve wanted you to touch me since I saw you at the police station.”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since I saw you at the police station.” His eyes burned into mine. “The kiss I gave you wasn’t enough. I doubt any would be enough where you’re concerned.”

His brutal honesty tripped me up.

“You can kiss me again…if you want.”

“I can’t.”

My head swam with gooey desire. “What’s stopping you?”

“You know what’s stopping me.”

“It’s just a kiss.”

He licked his lips as his body gave in, all the while fighting it with words. “We both know it’s not just a kiss.”

My hand crept up his cheek to his temple.

He shuddered as I ran my fingers through his hair, caressing him. I had to sit higher to direct my hand around to the back of his neck. My back arched, pushing my breasts out, my position giving him all the signals he needed.

“Kiss me.” Applying a touch of nail, I pulled his head downward.

The strength of his neck fought me, not budging. His eyes danced over my face as if deciding how to thwart me without hurting my feelings.

Then…it was as if something cracked inside him…as if a tiny box he kept padlocked and protected smashed beneath a sledgehammer.

And then he collapsed forward.

And his mouth crashed against mine.

And his lips were so warm and wet and welcoming.

And he kissed me.

I’d asked for the kiss, but he wholeheartedly donated it.

His lips kissed soft and hard. His tongue flicked over my mouth, not asking, not begging, but demanding entry to taste me.

I let the stress-granite leave me and the lust-melting happen. I shivered as his arms wrapped around me, clutching me close as our lips fused and the kiss turned primal in its intensity.

The warmth of the morning sun beat down on us as my breathy moan met his tattered groan—fuelling us ever harder into something that should be so tender but was so utterly violent.

I matched his ferocity with my own. My fingers clutched at his hair, tugging for more, more.

I forgot myself. I forgot we were in open view of the staff. I forgot about the past few days and the fear of what was coming. I forgot about everything but him.

But Elder didn’t forget.

He tore himself away, backing up and rubbing his mouth as if desperate for another kiss but determined to only take one. “Pim…”

His voice bordered on a reproach. As if that kiss was my fault.

Was it my fault?

I would take responsibility for some of it, but he was too strong for me to manhandle if he didn’t want it.

Leaping off the lifeboat, I stood with my hands on my hips. “If you say something like that was a mistake, or it won’t happen again or any other stupid cliché, I’m going to…to…”

A slight smirk twisted his lips. “You’re going to what?”

“I don’t know. Throw you overboard.”

“The captain would stop.” He crossed his arms, enjoying my temper.

“Fine, I’d—I’d hit you on the head with an oar.”

His gaze went to the lifeboat oars resting neatly in their brackets. “Those weigh a ton. Even I wouldn’t be able to use it as a weapon.”

“You’re taking all the fun out of my hypothetically harming you.” I hid my smile even as one brewed. “Let a girl have some fantasies.”

He cocked his head. “You have fantasies about me?”

And just like that, we were back to the dilemma of sparking attraction, high-octane lust, and the unbearable need to touch, thrust, and consume.

Goosebumps prickled as said fantasies that included nakedness and no weapons filled my mind.

Elder’s lips parted, picking up on the way my chest rose and my fingers fluttered to touch him again. “Well?”

Stepping toward him, I nodded. “I can’t stop having fantasies about you. If you know of a cure, then please…tell me.”

Any hint of joking and games vanished as his shoulders slouched and he rubbed his face with one hand. “If I knew that cure, I’d take it myself.”

I schooled myself not to be hurt. He hadn’t meant he wanted to be cured of me, just like I hadn’t meant I wanted to be cured of him. We both just wanted to find a way through this minefield of my past and his obsession and learn how to be together without an airport of unclaimed baggage following us around.

“Ah, sir?” A staff member appeared, carrying a small tray with two coffee cups. “As you requested.”

Elder nodded respectfully as he claimed both drinks. “Thank you. Please tell the chef we’re ready for breakfast if that suits.”

“Right away.” The man bowed, gave me a smile, then returned the way he’d come with his now empty tray.

I eyed Elder’s new possessions. “Didn’t sleep last night?”

He spun to face me, suspicion written all over his face. “What makes you say that?”

For some reason, I got the distinct impression he hadn’t slept. That my blasé comment had hit a nerve. What did he get up to yesterday after I overhead his conversation? I hadn’t heard his cello, but that didn’t mean he didn’t play.

After I’d locked my door, I’d slept surprisingly well. I didn’t know what that said about my state of mind, but for the first time, I wasn’t on high alert waiting for someone—friend or foe—to come through the door uninvited.

“Double coffee.” I pointed at the two cups.

He shook his head, dispelling whatever he’d been thinking. “One of them is for you.” Coming toward me, he held out the cup.

I took it gently, careful not to spill the creamy flower design made from the milk on top. “You knew I’d be here?”

“I saw you from the bridge.” He pointed at the highest point of the yacht where the shadows of staff and captain hinted that just because we weren’t looking where we were sailing didn’t mean countless other people weren’t.

Taking a sip of his coffee, he added, “I went to see Jolfer this morning. Wanted to confirm the route to England. I spotted you sitting on the lifeboat and figured I owed you an apology.”

“Back to the apology.”

He nodded. “Back to that.” He took another sip. “I’m sorry for abandoning you the past two days, and I’m sorry if I made you feel anything but welcome. I…I love having you here with me and haven’t done a very good job of showing that.”

I didn’t want to tell him I’d been reading between the lines long enough that I understood more than I should. That he loved me being here but cursed himself for not being able to take advantage. That he loved spending time with me but didn’t trust himself to keep it purely platonic.

If that kiss was anything to go by, I’d say his worries were founded upon fact. Not that I would tell him that as I didn’t want such boundaries or fears to remain between us.

I joined him in drinking the perfectly brewed caffeine. “What way did you tell him?”

“Hmm?” He licked his lips free from frothy coffee, making my stomach twitch with a carnal hunger I’d only just begun to understand.

“With your captain? How many ways are there to sail to England from here?”

His face lit up, grateful for a neutral topic where innuendoes and sexual undercurrents couldn’t dwell. “Two technically.”

When I continued to drink, waiting for him to elaborate, he said, “Basically, we can go through the Strait of Gibraltar or down past the Cape of Good Hope.”

“Which is better?”

He shrugged. “Both are great journeys, but one is approximately six to seven days, and the other is over a month.”

“Oh, wow.”

He smiled. “I’m guessing you’d like to get home faster than a month, and we have a function to attend, so I have no choice but to go the shorter route.”

I didn’t mention that returning home wasn’t a draw card anymore. In fact, England was rather the opposite. I didn’t want to go back. My mother was locked up and untouchable while bad memories were free and rampant. If Elder hadn’t just mentioned a function, I would suggest turning around and going somewhere else.

Curiosity built inside me. “We have a function? What is it?”

He scowled. “A masquerade in a drab English estate called Hawksridge.”

Hawksridge…that name sounded familiar, but I didn’t know why.

Elder noticed my kernel of enlightenment. “The Hawk family deal in diamonds. They supply most of the jewellers in London and far beyond. You might’ve heard of them.”

“I’ve heard of Hawk diamonds. Yes.”

“There you go.” He finished his coffee with a disgusted look. “We’re to attend because their clientele are often my clientele. The rich demographic normally likes the same things. Yachts, horses, diamonds…”

“So…this is a business meeting?”

“Something like that.”

“Why do I have to attend?”

His eyes narrowed. “You’re my plus one. However, if you’d rather not go…”

I held up my hand. “No, I’m honoured to accompany you.” Even as I said it, I wondered if I would be up to mingling in a crowd. The last time I’d been at a function with finely dressed gentleman and prettily gowned women, I’d been strangled and abducted.

This might be even worse because everyone would be wearing masks.

Just like the auction at the QMB.

Oh, God.

My heart kicked into a canter, but I hid my trepidation.

I wouldn’t give Elder any reason to suspect I couldn’t handle whatever it was he needed me to handle—including him.

“We’ll only be there an hour. Two at the most.” He finished his coffee. “I’m reluctant to go, but I have an oath to keep, and that oath means earning money until I reach my target.”

I hid my surprised laugh. “You have a target to amass more money?”

He cringed a little as if noticing how it sounded. How the idea of Elder—who had wealth far beyond what I could conceive—admitted he had the drive for more.

What could he possibly need that he couldn’t afford with his current financial position?

I shook my head a little, trying to understand. He didn’t come across as superficial or someone who spent a great deal on things just for flash and recognition. Sure, the Phantom was beyond luxurious, and he owned helicopters and Maybachs and whatever other expensive brands the rich and famous had, but he still retained an aura of someone who wasn’t used to wealth.

Someone who had somehow stumbled into it and still wasn’t comfortable spending unless it was to lavish a lifestyle on his family.

A family who never shows up to enjoy his generosity.

“It’s hot today. Perhaps we should go inside out of the sun.” Taking my empty cup, Elder kept his voice level, but something ate at him—something relating to money and secrets and reasons why he was the way he was.

I desperately wanted to know those reasons and was finally ready to give him any part of my past for a tiny fraction of his.

“El…” I moved toward him, placing my hand on his forearm.

He jolted at my touch but didn’t jerk away. His gaze locked with mine, and everything I was about to suggest flew out of my head. I’d had envisions of inviting him to my suite. Ordering a quiet breakfast and doing something we’d never done before.

Talk.

Truly talk like two strangers who didn’t know a thing about each other but had one thing in common: a sexual attraction—a mutual fascination and hearts that’d whispered the same message the moment we’d met.

I liked Elder far too much. I loved Elder far too deep for logical reasoning. And I still knew nothing about him.

My tongue slid over my bottom lip while I did my best to coerce my thoughts into orderly sentences and not the tumbling acrobats they’d become.

Only, an excited voice rang on the warm sea breeze, breaking the heavy spell and snapping our eyes to the bow of the ship.

“What on earth is she pointing at?” I asked as a staff member with blonde pigtails bounced up and down. Her face was luminous with excitement. Her finger pointed at the water below.

Elder smiled. “Dolphins probably. I don’t know why staff continue to get so excited. It’s not like they’re a rare occurrence.” He said it so matter-of-factly, as if dolphins were as common as house flies.

My eyes widened. “They surf the wake?”

“Exactly. They’re just using us for their own enjoyment.”

“Can I see?”

He chuckled as I drifted toward the girl, becoming intoxicated by her joy. I hadn’t seen a dolphin since my friend had her eighth birthday party at SeaWorld and the dolphins leapt and frolicked with big red balls. At the time, I’d been mesmerised. Now, the place had been shut down for animal welfare.

I couldn’t stop my feet moving, but I didn’t want to leave Elder. “Come with me?” I held out my hand, glancing over my shoulder as I continued to step toward the bow.

His face fell just for a moment.

My throat tightened with questions. I wanted to know what pained him. I needed to know how to fix it.

But then he smiled, shoving aside any hint of melancholy. “I have a better idea.”

I stopped, totally unconvinced. “Better than watching dolphins?”

“Better.” Crooking a finger, he murmured, “Come with me.”