Chapter Eleven

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Elder

 

 

“NO, YOU DON’T understand.” I pointed a finger in the face of a pubescent cop who thought he had the right to keep me from Pim when he was just a glorified receptionist. “Tasmin Blythe, as I told you before. I want to see her. Immediately.”

“And like I told you before, we don’t work on demands.” He puffed up his very breakable body. “Take a seat, and I’ll look for any updates on her case.”

All I wanted to do was grab the computer and smash it over his goddamn head.

Didn’t he understand that she was incarcerated because of me?

If I hadn’t taught her to pickpocket. If I hadn’t forced her to steal to pay me back for nonsensical debts, she wouldn’t be in this place.

Christ!

My entire body shook as I slammed my fist onto the desk again. “There is no case. She’s innocent. I don’t care what the charges are. Let her go.”

“That isn’t possi—”

“Carter, it’s okay.”

I spun around as a female officer in an ironed skirt, crisp blazer, and shiny gold buckles appeared from a room to the right.

I opened my mouth to tell her nothing was okay. Nothing would be okay again unless I could get Pim’s crime revoked. Shit, I’d give myself up if they needed a perpetrator to prosecute.

But then my eyes fell onto the woman beside her.

And the rest of the world no longer mattered.

I stumbled at the sight.

My heart burst into flames.

A black eye painted her beautiful face. She moved stiffer than her usual liquid grace, reminding me all over again of the beaten creature I’d stolen months ago.

The fact she stood next to an officer made my rage fucking explode. How dare these assholes trap her against her will. How dare they take away her freedom when she’d fought tooth and fucking nail to earn it.

Couldn’t they see the trials she’d endured?

The horror she’d survived?

So fucking what she’d stolen from some pretentious, self-absorbed mark? If anyone deserved the right to bend the law for her own gains, it was her.

Her.

Her green eyes met mine, her shoulders tight. “El—”

I didn’t let her finish.

Launching forward, I grabbed her in a possessive embrace as if she’d be snatched away at any moment.

She was so fragile in my arms. So warm and small and right.

I groaned as her breasts pressed against my chest. I needed her closer. Touching her wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough.

Plucking her from the floor, I relished in her light weight, squeezing her as tight as I dared. Far tighter than I should.

I squeezed her in protection, affection, and most of all, aggression for what she’d done to me. The agony she’d injected into my heart. The poison she’d infected my brain with. The knowledge I now carried that she was selfless in trying to shield me from myself, and I was selfish in letting her try.

Never again.

She’s mine.

It’d taken a separation to understand that, but now I did.

Good luck to the rest of the world and anyone else who wanted her because they couldn’t fucking have her.

Even if it meant tying myself up for the rest of the trip to England. Even if it meant I could never say goodbye when we arrived. Even if it meant I lived the rest of my life in a fog of marijuana just to be able to talk to her without the incessant need to be inside her. Even if it meant my mind finally cracked, and I became so helplessly tangled I might never be normal again.

Even then.

She would remain mine.

I should’ve seen this coming. I should’ve sensed the warning signs: the first time my heart tap danced when she smiled. The moment when my gut clenched because her happiness affected my future rather than just my present. The second my entire body drenched in sensitivity whenever she came near.

All those warning signs I’d ignored or misread.

But now I understood the message.

I was dead without her.

I was alive with her.

Simple.

Her breath escaped into my ear as I clutched closer—doing my best to crawl inside her. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, hesitantly at first then braver as I buried my face into her neck and inhaled.

Christ, she smelled amazing beneath the stench of police and stupid laws. Laws I’d spent most of my life breaking and had the smallest amount of tolerance for.

Did she still mean what she’d said in that hotel room?

That she loved me?

Did she love me as a friend or something more?

The question stained the tip of my tongue, ready to demand an answer.

Because just like the other two epiphanies, I had another one.

I loved her.

I was in love with her.

There was nothing platonic or grateful about my love. It was cruel and wicked and unwanted because love almost destroyed me once, and it would destroy me again if I did what I was hardwired to do and hurt her.

And I would hurt her.

Eventually.

By loving her, I not only doomed myself but her too. She would be a part of my world—a world she still knew so little about. A world where war was coming, death was hunting, and curses were sure to rule.

“Elder…” Her whisper kissed my cheek, grounding me and sending me into a tailspin all at once. I shouldn’t have come here clear-headed. I should’ve smoked every joint on the Phantom and been numb before attempting to see her.

Someone patted me firmly on the arm, clearing an authoritative throat. “Put her down. Immediately.”

“Do as she says, Elder,” Pim breathed. “I’m okay. Truly.”

It hurt right down to my bones to obey, but slowly, I unlatched my death grip and released my hug—not that it could be called a hug…more like an embrace of apology, of acknowledgment, of soul-crushing fear of what I’d just signed my life to.

Backing away, I pinched the bridge of my nose and forced myself to get it together. At least standing with a precinct of police for an audience kept my twisted thoughts on Pim’s incarceration and her needs, not mine.

I didn’t get hard or drown in all the ways I needed to fuck her.

The past few days had done what my past tricks used to achieve and gave me enough mental distance to ignore sex.

Plus…I loved her, and because of that awful, terrible fact, I was now celibate as a fucking monk.

“She’s coming with me.” I glowered at the officer in her unattractive suit. “No discussion. Whatever you’ve booked her for. Unbook it.”

The woman nodded, a smirk planted firmly on her lips. “Shouldn’t you ask Tasmin if that’s what she wants?”

I froze.

Tasmin.

To hear it outside my head. To have it become real.

I’d fallen in love with Pimlico, not Tasmin. I had enough on my damn plate to worry about switching her name. The stupid tic I lived with refused to acknowledge the new address.

“I know what she wants. Her freedom. And you’re trying to take it from her.”

“Oh, I am, am I?” The officer crossed her arms. “Do you see her in cuffs?”

I scowled.

I didn’t know what this woman’s game was but no dice. I’d come here with the purpose of a jail break, not to speak in riddles. “You arrested her. You still have her in custody. I’ve come to rectify that.”

“So you thought you’d storm the station and throw some threats around, did you?” She rolled her eyes. “You think that would work?”

Who is this bitch?

“Listen.” I drew myself up to my full height. The black t-shirt I’d thrown on acted like an eclipse next to the sunshine that was Pim. “I don’t care what your angle is. I’ll hire a thousand lawyers. I’ll pull in favours with the prince. I’ll do whatever it damn well takes.”

Her eyes widened at the mention of his Royal Highness.

It was my turn to smirk. “That wasn’t an empty threat. I know the prince. We had a business arrangement, and I’m sure I still have his personal number on my phone.” Pulling my cell from my pocket, I made a show of unlocking the screen. “Want me to call him or will you do what I ask?”

Pimlico shot me a look then glanced at the officer, “Carlyn…it’s okay.”

Carlyn held up her hand to silence her, frowning. “You have it all wrong, Mr…”

“My name is not important. What is important is you releasing Pim. She’s coming with me.”

“This is highly entertaining. Not only do you think you can overthrow the law, but you also continue to speak for Tasmin while using a name I highly doubt she has a tolerance for. I don’t care who you’re friends with. I don’t care why you call her Pim instead of her correct address. I would’ve thought someone who obviously cares about my prisoner would want to know her opinion on the matter.”

I saw fucking red. “She’s not your prisoner.”

“You don’t know that.” Carlyn sniffed. “I have a good mind to lock you up for disturbing the peace.”

My blood ran cold. “You want me? Fine. Arrest me and let her go.” I pointed at Pim. “I’ll take the rap for her theft. I’ve stolen—”

“Whoa, whoa, okay…that’s enough.” Pim jumped in front of me, her small hand landing on my stomach. “I think you should calm down.”

“Calm down?” I snorted. “I’ll be calm when they do what I ask and release you.” Clamping my hands on her shoulders, I snapped, “What’s your bail? I’ll pay it. Right now.”

Whatever trial they thought Pim would face, she wouldn’t.

The moment I had her on the Phantom and sailing in international waters, she was out of their jurisdiction.

She smiled softly. “There is no bail.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’m free to go.” Steel threaded her words. “So stop being so grouchy and be polite.”

My eyes shot wide. “Excuse me?” I’d flown here to bust her out of prison. To be her protector and liberator. Yet instead of a frightened inmate, I found a freshly bruised goddess just as regal, just as fearless as I remembered.

She was in control of herself and the situation.

I was…unneeded.

That thorn lodged deep in my heart, deflating my anger. I blinked past the red in my vision, ready to listen to whatever the hell was going on.

Pim’s fingers fluttered against my stomach, reminding me I could make an oath of celibacy as easy as breathing, but keeping it would be a fucking disaster.

Glancing at the officer then back to me, Pim smiled. “We’ve come to an arrangement. I won’t press charges if they won’t.”

“What charges?” I growled.

Pim rolled her shoulders, letting her hand trail down my belly and fall away. “I’ll tell you later.” With a shared look with the woman she’d called Carlyn, they moved toward the desk where I’d bellowed at the receptionist.

I wanted to bark that I needed to know now.

That reading the bare essentials of her file wasn’t enough for my information starving brain. I needed to know what she stole, from whom, and why the hell she was covered, yet again, in bruises.

Whoever had done that to her…they were motherfucking dead.

She shot me a look as my fists clenched. It took every ounce of control I had left, but I kept my lips tightly glued.

I behaved.

Moving closer to her, I remained stiff and alert—a guardian with weapons ready.

Carlyn spoke to the receptionist who eyed me warily. Passing over a manila folder, she opened it and pointed at two pages for Pim to sign.

Pinching a pen from the desk, Pim skim read whatever the statement said then scribbled a signature that looked suspiciously like Pimlico and not Tasmin.

Perhaps, just like me, she hadn’t traded one name for another yet—even though others had.

Nodding in approval, Carlyn headed to a large floor printer and scanned a duplicate. Passing those to Pim, she waited for yet another signature beside an already messy one at the bottom.

“And just like that…it’s like it never happened.” She smiled conspiratorially at Pim.

I knew what the damn cop was doing—doing her best to make me snap and give her a reason to lasso cuffs over my wrists and take Pim away from me all over again.

I was angry.

But I wasn’t stupid.

I let her have her moment because in exactly two minutes, we’d be gone, and Pim would be far, far away from her.

“It’s done?” Pim stroked the pages. “Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Carlyn beamed. “No more stealing, though. You hear me?”

Pim shot me a look beneath her lashes. A look that said ‘tell that to him. He’s the one who taught me.’ Then she lowered her gaze and nodded demurely. “No more stealing.”

“In that case, Mr. I Don’t Need To Know Your Name…” Carlyn skirted around the desk, throwing a judgmental look my way before clipping to the exit in high heels. “If Tasmin, or as you like to call her, Pim, wishes to go with you…she’s free to leave.”

Tasmin.

That damn name again.

All this time, I’d wanted to know her true identity.

But now that I did, it didn’t suit her.

She was Pim.

Would I have to start calling her Tasmin? Would everything have to change all because I sailed away when I should’ve fucking stayed?

Crossing my arms to hold my thundering heart in place, I glowered at Pim and asked the unthinkable. “Do you want to go with me?”

It was a question I hadn’t even considered. A question I should’ve asked myself before storming in here as if I was once again her knight in dinged-up armour when really, she’d helped herself better than I ever could.

The question hung between us, unanswered and lonely.

Pim slowly folded the paperwork and tucked it into her palm. Coming toward me, her eyes softened, searching mine with a silent intensity that made my skin crawl under her scrutiny and my cock harden under her sexuality.

How had I not seen how stunning a creature she’d evolved into? No wonder I broke under her will. No wonder I didn’t stand a chance.

Look at her.

She was no longer a prisoner—she was my jailer, and I would happily remain sentenced to her for the rest of my godforsaken life.

Her feet stopped in front of me. Biting her lip, her face turned sad as she reached with delicate fingers to cup my cheek.

My knees almost buckled beneath her touch.

Locking my jaw, I fought every lust and addiction and instead focused on how warm she was, how sweet, how delicate, how beautiful.

Her fingers kissed my skin then fell away.

I lashed out, catching her wrist with a hand that wanted to squeeze not caress.

She sucked in a breath at my possession, her eyes heating with the same mixture of forbidden lust I felt.

Her voice wobbled. “That isn’t the right question.”

I struggled to remember what I’d asked.

All I could remember was her and me and us.

“The question isn’t if I want to go with you, Elder.” Her eyelashes hooded over molten eyes.

I swallowed the thick wash of desire. “It isn’t?” I forgot we stood in a police station. I forgot we had an audience. I forgot about everything—the Chinmoku, my family…every stupid, inconsequential thing and hyper focused on her.

Her.

Pim.

Tasmin.

The woman I needed to prove I was worthy of because, fuck, she was ten times the person I could ever be.

My lips tingled to touch hers.

My tongue ached to dance with hers.

Every inch of me burned to possess and taste but for connection rather than empty satisfaction. I needed to be inside her to feel her, not to rip into her only to finish quickly and start all over again.

That mindless addiction was overshadowed for a moment. A moment where I wanted the best for her above all things—no matter the cost.

“What is the right question?” I murmured as she slotted herself against me and kissed right over my heart as if I was something to be worshiped and not the other way around.

I couldn’t win with this woman.

I didn’t stand a fucking chance.

I was completely, utterly, undeniably hers until time stopped ticking or the world stopped spinning—whatever came first.

I’d never felt that before.

Never wanted to be so irrevocably tied to another that I was willing to do anything to make it possible.

“The right question is…do you want me?” Her eyes glistened with memories of the hotel room, her letter, and my subsequent reply by leaving.

I swallowed the sudden hand grenade in my throat. “Do you even need to ask, Pimlico?”

She smiled. “You didn’t call me Tasmin.”

“Do you want me to call you Tasmin?”

She paused, thinking it over with a seriousness I hadn’t expected. “I think…one day I might. But not today.”

I didn’t need any more clarification. I understood better than she knew. Not letting her change the subject, I breathed, “Do you honestly think I don’t want you?”

She blushed. “It’s not that you don’t want me. It’s if you can survive me.”

I shuddered at how perceptive she was. “I can’t.”

She froze, doing her best to seem okay with the truth but crushed regardless. “That’s okay…”

It was my turn to cup her face, wincing as my fingers burned from her softness. I choked beneath the weight of confession. “I can’t survive you, Pim. That’s the problem.”

Her bottom lip quivered. “I-I underst—”

“But I can’t survive without you, either. And I know now which of those I choose.”

Tears glittered in her gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” I bent to kiss her.

I didn’t bother looking at the officer or receptionist. I didn’t care we’d brought a damn soap opera to them. All I cared about was kissing her, convincing her, showing her that no matter what happened…we were already bound and doomed.

We’d started this path the moment Alrik emailed me to arrange a meeting. We’d given into this direction the moment I’d draped my jacket over her shoulders and felt something inside my loveless heart that I should’ve bolted from.

And now look where we were.

Fucked.

Well and truly fucked.

But I wouldn’t change a thing.

I wouldn’t stop.

I couldn’t.

My neck ached with tension as I lowered myself the rest of the way and dared kiss her.

Dared to activate the curse in my blood all over again.

Dared to lose myself to her where I could never be free.

But as her lips touched mine and her tongue flickered into my mouth, I knew I would fight myself tooth and nail to deserve her.

As quickly as I’d bestowed the kiss, I pushed her away, curling my fists against the sudden roar for more, more, more.

I would not take more.

I would take that single pleasure and control myself.

Trembling, I held out my hand. “Please, Pim. Come home.”

With an unsteady breath, she slotted her fingers into mine. “I’m already home. I’m with you.”