Chapter 9
The first time I laid eyes upon Volodane Hall, I was wet, damp, and struggling not to give way to misery.
Not long after my wedding at Chaumont, I’d been swept up in a journey north with my new husband, his father, both his brothers, and their retinue of guards. Sebastian told me the ride would take two days. He was the only one of the men who spoke to me. Kai pretended I didn’t exist, and Rolf seemed to seethe in quiet anger that I’d not chosen him.
My one comfort was that I’d been allowed to bring Miriam with me.
Another blessing to this arrangement was that as Jarrod paid for rooms at inns along the way, Miriam and I were given a room to ourselves, so as of yet, I’d not been expected to share a bed with Sebastian.
Though it was early summer, the farther north we traveled, the thicker grew the trees and the darker grew the sky. Near the end of the second day, a cold drizzle began to fall, soaking through my cloak.
We passed through a village and headed toward a rise.
“We’re almost there,” Sebastian said, riding beside me. Even in my misery, I noted he sounded worried as he added, “But you’ll need to brace yourself.”
As we came over the rise, I gained my first view in the fading light. My hands tensed on the reins as I fought to keep from expressing dismay. A squat keep loomed up from out of the surrounding forest. Even at a distance, its dark profile looked worn and ill kept.
Sebastian glanced at me. I was lost for words and could only imagine the inside.
Jarrod urged his mount forward, rode up to the gates, and called out. A moment later, a loud grinding sounded, like timber creaking across timber, and the gates opened. We rode inside to a small, muddy courtyard, and as the men began dismounting, the flurry of activity that followed kept me from taking in much more.
“Put your hands on my shoulders,” someone said from below.
Shivering and looking down, I saw Sebastian standing below. Without even thinking, I put my hands on his shoulders and let him lift me off the horse. He held me steady for a few moments.
Kai lifted Miriam down. Poor Miriam. What had I dragged her into?
Jarrod called back toward us, “Kai! Get the women inside.”
“As if we need him to tell us that,” Sebastian whispered in my ear. “Come on.”
Miriam and I were ushered across the courtyard to the main doors of the keep. Inside we passed through an entryway and into a wide passage. Neither of the men slowed down.
At the end of the passage, we emerged into a great hall with a fireplace large enough that I could have stood inside. In addition, half a dozen small spaniels came running toward us, wriggling and whining for attention.
One of them came running and jumped into Kai’s arms. He caught the dog and smiled as she licked his face.
“Lacey, stop.”
The fire in the hearth had been lit, but I couldn’t stop shivering.
Sebastian looked down at me in concern. Turning, he called to a guard down the passage, “You! Have your lady’s travel trunk carried up to her room.” Then he called, “Betty!”
A plump serving woman with a pleasant face came bustling forward. “Yes, my lord?”
“Show your lady up to her room.” He looked down to me again. “Go on and get out of those wet things. Put on your nightclothes if you wish. I’ll have food brought up.”
The thought of retiring to a private room and not having to come out again tonight filled me with relief.
Wordlessly, I nodded and took Miriam’s arm as we followed Betty from the hall.
I’d not seen much of my new home, but in the moment I didn’t care.
* * * *
Thankfully, the room I was given on the second floor of the single tower was not entirely awful.
It was a woman’s room.
The furniture was old, faded, and in need of a polish, but the four-poster bed was large, with a thick, eyelet comforter. The dressing table was well crafted from rich-toned mahogany. A matching wardrobe stood beside it. A moth-eaten tapestry covered one wall.
Miriam stood in the center of the room taking in the furnishings. Her face was pale and stricken.
One of my chests had been carried and set at the end of the bed. “See if I have a clean nightgown in there,” I said.
We hadn’t eaten since midday, and I longed for a cup of steaming tea, but I was more concerned with being warm and dry. Miriam began unlacing my travel gown.
“As soon we’ve finished with me,” I said, “we’ll see about your room and clothing. You need to get out of those wet things too.”
I couldn’t help wondering how often it rained here in the summer.
Together, we peeled off my clothing, and she slipped a dry nightgown over my head. I sighed in pleasure.
“Let me brush out your hair,” she said. “Tonight is . . .” she trailed off and then finished, “your first night in your husband’s home.”
My pleasure vanished. Would Sebastian expect to sleep in here? Of course, I’d known that side of things was coming, but until Miriam had spoken, I hadn’t wondered if it would be tonight.
“Come and sit,” she said from the dressing table.
I sat and let her brush out my hair until it fell in slightly damp waves down my back.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what might happen if Sebastian came up. My mother hadn’t told me much about what to expect.
“Miriam?” I asked, wondering if she knew.
She never heard the rest of the question as the door cracked open. I could see its reflection in the mirror. Sebastian pushed it all the way open with one shoulder. He carried a tray himself.
“Dinner as promised,” he said cheerfully. “Such as it is.”
Miriam and I both froze at the sight of him standing there. When he saw our faces, his cheerful countenance faded. There was nothing threatening about him, but he was still a man standing in a bedroom chamber with two women who barely knew him.
Using his head, he motioned toward the door and spoke to Miriam. “Go on out. Betty will show you to your room.”
She hesitated but had no choice. With a nod, she left us, and Sebastian used his shoulder to close the door.
We were alone.
“No need to look as if you’re going to the executioner’s block,” he said. “I promise I don’t bite.”
I didn’t find his humor comforting.
With a sigh, he walked to the side table and set down the tray. Then he grasped the bottom of his tunic. “Don’t be shocked. I know this isn’t manly to admit, but I’m freezing.”
He pulled off his tunic first and then the damp wool shirt beneath it. I knew from experience that wearing wet wool was unpleasant at best. There was a dagger strapped to each of his forearms, and he removed the sheaths. After this, he dropped onto the bed and took off his boots.
“That’s better,” he said. Thankfully, he left his pants on, but they looked dryer than his tunic and shirt.
Half turning, he arranged all the pillows up against the headboard and patted a spot on the bed beside him. “Come sit here.”
I stared at him, not moving. He had a scar on his left collarbone.
His tone hardened. “Megan, come here.”
This was an order, and it was one of the first things I came to learn about Sebastian. He always asked politely the first time. Then he gave an order.
Slowly, I climbed up onto the bed beside him.
“Lean back against the pillows,” he said.
He reached for the tray and set it on the bed between us. For the first time, I examined its contents. There was a jug of wine, two goblets, a chunk of cheese, bread, and butter.
“I know it’s not much, but it was the best I could manage,” he said, pouring the wine. “I fear you’ll find it an uphill climb trying to put the staff of this household together. We’ve let things go a bit lax.”
“I’ll do my best.” This was the first thing I’d said since he’d entered, and my voice sounded small.
He stopped pouring and leaned closer. “You don’t need to be afraid of me. I’d never hurt you, and I’ll never let anyone else hurt you.” He handed me a goblet. “You did something I’ve never managed, and I’ll be grateful for the rest of my life. Here, have some of this cheese.”
He broke off a small chunk and handed it to me.
Taking the cheese, I couldn’t help asking, “What did I do?”
“You wiped that self-satisfied, arrogant expression off Rolf’s face, that’s what you did. I’ll never forget the moment when you picked me. I thought he’d have an apoplexy.” Sebastian smiled. “It was glorious. The daughter of the Chaumonts chose me over the paragon son, right there in front of everyone. You have my undying loyalty.”
Did he hate Rolf so much?
He buttered a piece of bread for me as if I were a child. “Eat this.”
I began to enjoy myself. It was like having a picnic in bed.
“Was this room your mother’s?” I asked.
He nodded, taking a long drink of wine.
“When did she die?”
“When Kai was born. Poor Kai. He blames himself, but none of the rest of us do.”
The house had been without a lady for twenty years. That explained much.
“You can trust Kai,” Sebastian went on. “He may glower and spit a little, but he has a good heart underneath, the best. Stay as far away from Rolf as you can though. He won’t forgive you for choosing me. And don’t ever trust a thing my father says. His only goal is to raise our family’s status, and if there’s a line he won’t cross, I haven’t seen it yet.”
While eating my bread and butter, I appeared to be receiving a rapid lesson on family dynamics.
“I was never intended for marriage,” I offered. “My sister, Helena, was supposed to be here now. She died the same day you all arrived at the manor.”
We’d finished eating, and he put the tray back on the side table. “So this has all come as a bit of a rude awakening to you then, hasn’t it?”
Unbidden tears sprang to my eyes. He understood. I nodded.
He lay down with his head on the pillows, reached out, and pulled me against his chest. Oddly, I wasn’t afraid of him. I settled my head against his shoulder.
“You won’t regret anything,” he said. “I’ll take care of you.”
No one had ever offered to take care of me before.
He kissed the top of my head. “You’re tired. Close your eyes. Tonight we’ll just sleep.”
Right then, I fell in love with him. He was more concerned about me than he was about himself. I’d made the right choice.
* * * *
The next morning when I awoke, he was gone.
Miriam brought me water for washing, and then she took out the yellow muslin gown for me to wear. With a frown, I thought longingly of my simple blue-gray wool gown. I’d managed to stash it in the chest when my mother wasn’t looking. It was old and had probably been washed too many times, but it was warm and comfortable and made me feel like myself.
Still . . . Sebastian was my husband now, and he seemed to care about appearances.
Without protest, I let Miriam lace me into the yellow muslin. She put up hair and found a small choker of white pearls my mother had sent.
I looked the part of lady of the house.
“Your other chests should be up soon,” Miriam said. “I’ll stay and unpack your things.”
“All right. I’d best go down.”
And so, with that, I headed out of the room, down the passage, and down the curving stairs of the tower. I had an aging keep to try and put in order. I’d only glimpsed the great hall the night before, but I’d seen enough to know it was filthy.
The first things I saw upon entering the hall were Sebastian and Kai, standing by the table. The pack of spaniels wriggled at their feet.
Kai’s eyes were locked on me as I approached. As always, anger seemed to rise from his skin. I couldn’t help wondering about Sebastian’s assessment of his younger brother.
But Sebastian took in my dress and hair and smiled. “You’re lovely.”
Then I looked down at what they were eating. It appeared to be the remnants of moldy cheese. Their mugs held ale.
Kai took a long drink of his ale.
“Is that your breakfast?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “It’ll do.”
I shook my head. “No. It won’t.”
Two women entered to gather up the breakfast tray. I remembered Betty from last night. The other woman was tall and spindly.
“Do you have any instructions for Betty and Matilda?” Sebastian asked me pointedly.
Was this a cue for me to take charge?
I spoke to the women. “I want this hall swept out, and then I want the floor scrubbed. I want all the cobwebs swept down, and I want the walls prepared for tapestries.”
They both stared at me as if they’d not heard correctly, but Sebastian’s face lit up. “Tapestries?”
Kai said nothing, but he wasn’t really given time as Sebastian turned to Betty and Matilda. “You heard your new lady. Get started.”
Did I need him to back up my instructions? I wasn’t sure.
“I’ll get the brooms,” Matilda said.
With the cleaning of the hall underway, I looked again at the remnants of breakfast. “I suppose I’d better go and sort out the kitchen.”
Sebastian nodded. “I’ll come with you. The women in the kitchen aren’t as biddable as Betty and Matilda.”
To my shame, his words brought relief. He’d promised to protect me, and although I knew I should start setting a more authoritative precedent, I welcomed the thought of him standing beside me as I faced down the women in the kitchen—who would most likely resent being ordered about by a seventeen-year-old girl, suddenly foisted upon them as their new lady.
Sebastian and I left the hall and walked down a long side passage. “The entrance to the kitchen is up ahead on the right, and beyond that is a door that leads out to the gardens.”
“Gardens?”
“Yes, at least we boast a decent kitchen garden, although lately, few vegetables have made it to the table. Honestly, I haven’t been down this way myself in some time.”
We walked through the open archway into the kitchen, and there we found three women among the ovens and pots and pans. One of them, the eldest, was quietly kneading bread on a table. She was slender with graying hair pulled back in a bun.
The other two women were barely past twenty, and they sat at a smaller, second table laughing and chatting with each other over mugs of steaming tea and plates of scrambled eggs with strawberries on the side.
At the sight of this, Sebastian went still.
The woman making bread saw us first.
“My lord,” she said in alarm. “Can I help you?”
Then the other two looked up. One of them was strikingly pretty with black hair, pale skin, and a fetching smatter of freckles. The other one was somewhat stocky with reddish hair pulled back at the nape of her neck.
“I thought to introduce my lady to the kitchen staff,” Sebastian said coldly.
“Of course,” the older woman answered, wiping her hands. Speaking to me, she said, “I’m Ester, my lady, and this is Lavonia and Cora.” She pointed first to the dark-haired girl and then to the redhead.
“It seems you could have done slightly better with our breakfast this morning,” Sebastian said, his gaze on the scrambled eggs, strawberries, and steaming tea.
To my astonishment, Lavonia leaned back and crossed her arms. “If you wanted something else, you should have sent for it.”
“Lavonia!” Ester gasped.
Sebastian held up one hand. “You have a new mistress, and from now on she will be giving the instructions, and if any of you wish to keep your place here, you’ll obey her as if the orders came from me or my father.” He turned to me. “Do you have instructions?”
My tongue felt tied. He’d taken full charge here—for which I was grateful—and then, without warning, had turned to me. I didn’t wish to disappoint him or make him sorry for his protection.
What would my mother have ordered? I tried to sound like the lady of the keep.
“Ester,” I said. “Will that bread you’re making be baked by midday?”
“Yes, my lady.”
“I haven’t taken stock of the larder, but I brought some things with me from Chaumont. In a short while, I’ll have boxes of tea and several casks of wine brought in. At midday, I’ll send Matilda and Betty to you. I’d like trays prepared with slices of fresh bread with butter, bowls of berries, boiled eggs, and several pots of tea for any of the men who come in to eat. Can you manage that?”
“Yes, my lady.”
From the table, Lavonia glared at me.
“Is there is ham in the larder?” I asked Ester.
She nodded and glanced nervously at Lavonia.
“For dinner tonight,” I continued, “you’ll make roasted potatoes and a large dish of peas in cream sauce, if those vegetables are available. Please heat a ham, slice it, and lay it out on a tray. I’ll have decanters sent in, and I want two decanters of red wine drawn from the casks.” I paused. “I’ll send Betty and Matilda right at dusk this evening.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Sebastian smiled, but again it was cold. “There, all planned out for today, but you should ready yourselves for changes around here, and clearly...it’s about time.”
He turned and took my arm.
As he walked down the passage, I could see the anger in his eyes. “Ester’s a good sort,” he said, “but if those girls give you any trouble, you tell me, and I’ll handle it. We’ve let things get far too lax around here.”
I nodded. This was all unfamiliar ground for me, and I was beyond grateful for his help. If there was trouble, I could go to him.
Right now, I wanted to get back and see to the work being done in the great hall.
* * * *
By evening, I left my duties and ran upstairs and let Miriam lace me into a silk gown and re-style my hair. I wore the diamond pendant.
When I came back down, I looked ready for a proper dinner.
Upon reaching the main hall, I heard masculine voices and walked in to find Jarrod, Rolf, Sebastian, and Kai all there. Jarrod and Rolf were both looking about the place in surprise, for it had indeed undergone something of a transformation.
The newly scrubbed table had been laid with white cloths, porcelain plates, and pewter goblets. All of these had come from Chaumont Manor. Four enormous tapestries hung on the walls, and I think my mother chose them well.
The half dozen spaniels still wriggled about the men, seeking attention.
“Dinner will be served shortly,” I said from the archway.
All four men turned as I walked in. Sebastian smiled. Rolf glowered. It was clear to me that he and I would never be friends. He frightened me a little. Kai eyed my silk gown and glanced away.
“You approve of the changes?” I asked Jarrod.
He walked over and picked up an engraved pewter goblet. “I do. I wouldn’t know how to buy any of this.” He nodded to Sebastian. “We’ve made a better bargain than I realized.”
Sebastian’s eyes glittered, and Rolf’s face was like thunder.
Right then, Betty and Matilda came in carrying trays of sliced ham, roasted potatoes, peas in cream sauce, and two decanters of wine.
“Shall we sit down?” I suggested.
“A good bargain indeed,” Jarrod said. He looked again to Sebastian. “Now I want a grandson.”
* * * *
That night Sebastian came to my room with two goblets and a decanter of wine. I’d already had wine with dinner and didn’t want any more. I was in my nightgown. He set the wine on a stand beside the bed and dismissed Miriam. Then he jumped onto the bed, pulled off his boots, and leaned back against the headboard.
“That was the perfect meal,” he said. “Rolf barely managed to choke it down.”
Hesitantly, I asked, “You dislike him so much?”
“Dislike him? By the gods, that’s an understatement. He’s a bully beyond description, and he’s viewed me as nearly useless since the day I was born. So does Father for that matter, all because I don’t see the world as they do.”
“How do you see it?”
“There’s more to life than gaining wealth and power and smiting one’s enemies. A good deal more. But that’s the scope of their world. That’s why Rolf can’t figure out why you chose me.”
I didn’t understand what he meant. My own father cared for little besides wealth, power, and social standing. Isn’t that what most men cared for? What did Sebastian care for?
Seeing my confusion, he patted the bed. “Let’s not talk of such serious things.”
Without hesitation, I went to him. He poured himself a goblet of wine, drank it in several swallows, and then stripped down to a pair of white underdrawers. I’d never seen a man in such a state of undress.
He did all this while still sitting on the bed with me, and something about his actions felt intimate.
I touched the scar on his collarbone. “How did you get that?”
“Rolf caught me with a blade when I was about twelve. I can’t remember what we were fighting over. A horse, I think.”
I tried to imagine him fighting with Rolf as a boy, but I couldn’t see him as anything but a man. It was difficult not to be affected by his appearance, his dark hair and handsome face. His body was lean with tight muscles. I wondered what it would feel like if he touched his mouth to mine.
Putting the goblet aside, he pulled me up against his chest. I trembled once. Would we consummate the marriage tonight?
He kissed the top of my head again. “You’ve had a long day. Get some sleep.”
I knew I should be relieved. Of course I should. But a part of me couldn’t help being confused . . . even disappointed.