Caught in the moment of his gaze, and thinking about going to his apartment, all I could do was blink.

He furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry man, was that too much to ask? I don’t have a lot of stuff, and I need someone to help me keep Tiger calm. That and I don’t trust those assholes to leave my bike alone overnight.” He looked away, scowling.

In that moment I realized this guy had a really tender spot, and I needed to be careful. I reached out and touched his arm. His built, muscular, defined arm. Focus. “No, it’s fine! I can help you. Please don’t read too much into my reactions sometimes. I am…well…I’ve been through some bad crap lately and I’ve spent a lot of time alone lately, and I think it’s made me kind of weird.”

He laughed out loud, a fast relieved bark of laughter, and clapped me on the back. “It’s okay if you’re weird. I’m a misfit!”

I found that hard to believe. I looked him up and down, with one eyebrow raised. “You literally walked off the cover of my calendar.”

His expression sobered. “Don’t believe everything you think you see,” he said.

God, if that wasn’t the truth I didn’t know what was. Stunned, all I could do was gape at him.

He chucked me on the shoulder. “Come on, Mr. Serious. Let’s get this shit moved so you can help me figure out Tiger’s living situation before the sun goes down.”

I shook my head, clearing the moment. “Good plan.” I locked both houses and we headed to his truck. He unlocked the passenger side door, and opened it for me. I climbed in and he picked Tiger up and handed him to me. Then he closed my car door. This was the first moment I allowed myself to enjoy Tiger’s puppy-ness. I lifted him up to my face and inhaled the top of his head.

Rhett opened his door and looked at me quizzically.

“Puppy smell,” I sighed. I hugged his feet with my hands. “Puppy feet.” I slid my hands over his back and belly. “Puppy tummy.”

Tiger responded by turning and licking my face. “Puppy kisses,” I laughed. Then I pulled my face away from his and said mock sternly, “You aren’t supposed to let him lick you, or anyone else.”

Rhett laughed. “Do as you say, not as you do. Got it!”

“I’m just getting my puppy fix before we train him out of it,” I huffed. Tiger craned his neck and tried to reach my face again. I inhaled deeply again. “Ahhh, puppy breath.”

Rhett shook his head, a peaceful smile across his face. “Who knew a puppy was so wonderful?”

“Everyone who loves dogs,” I said. “And now you’re one of us.”

“I’m an ‘us’ now, huh?” Rhett said. He seemed to roll this around in his head for a while, and then he said, “I can get on board with the dog lover crew.”

“Never trust someone your dog hates,” I said. “And always try to be as good of a person as your dog thinks you are.”

“Ha!” Rhett said. “Good advice.”

* * *

Rhett’s apartment was part of a four plex sitting in a cul-de-sac at the end of a residential street. It wasn’t the worst neighborhood in the world, but the new guest house and yard would be better for Tiger. And him.

And maybe me.

Having someone as grounded and earthy as Rhett around might keep my head out of the clouds.

He carried Tiger to the lawn to give him a chance to do his thing.  Then he scooped him up and led me into the apartment.

He turned on the light, set the puppy down, and walked into the kitchen to refill Tiger’s water.

I just met this guy and I got to look right at the heart of him. Or, I realized as I looked around, maybe the lack of it?

“How long have you lived here?” I couldn’t help asking.

He shrugged. “I dunno. A few years, I guess.” He looked around. “I never got around to making it homey, did I?”

“It looks like you just moved in,” I said. The bare walls matched the plain kitchen. It looked like one of those furnished condos at the lake.

“I don’t know how to decorate,” Rhett said. He looked embarrassed.

“Hey it will work out for you. I mean, now you don’t have that much stuff to move, right?”

Rhett set his jaw. “I guess. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I saw it through your eyes.”

There’s nothing worse than letting someone into your space and then having them judge you. I couldn’t leave the guy hanging. “It’s not bad!” I said. “It’s just utilitarian, and that’s okay. I think it would have shocked me more if I walked in here and it looked like something out of Victoria magazine.”

“What magazine?” Rhett frowned.

I laughed, and covered my mouth. My god I was such an idiot. “I’m sorry, it was just this super frilly magazine my Nana got. I always looked at them with her, and later I helped her decorate her house.”

Rhett stared at me like I had two heads.

Heat creeped up my cheeks, and I felt my breath harder to catch. “I loved it. And it was time with my Nan. Until my dad found out and put a stop to it.” My voice dropped to a hoarse whisper.  The physical memory of my dad’s reaction took over my body, for a moment. “He found out I’d been making decorating decisions and giving fashion advice to Nana and her friends. I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal…”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Rhett said. “I bet you were really good at it too.”

I stared down at my shoes. My purple converse sneakers, streaked with dust from remodeling and walking in the dirt, reflected back at me. “I was. I am. I mean, I was. When I cared about that stuff.”

Now I’m not sure I care about anything at all.

I kept that last part to myself. Rhett didn’t need to find out how broken I really was. He put a hand on my arm, like he was steadying me.

I squeezed my eyes for a moment, pushed the feelings back down inside and then smiled up at him. “But it was a long time ago. My dad got over it and understood who I was. It’s all fine now. Let’s get you packed and into your new home. I didn’t come here to mope around about my past.”

Rhett’s mischievous smile danced back onto his face. “Oh yeah? What did you come here for?”

I rolled my eyes and punched him on the arm. My god, he was rock solid. “To snoop in all your things, duh! Why else would you help someone move?”

Rhett chuckled. “You’re crazy,” he said. “I like it!”

Weird part is, I think he meant it.

Rhett was right. It didn’t take long to get the stuff he needed. I put the dog things together while he gathered his personal items. I wandered his apartment a little while he packed up his bathroom. He’d already stripped his mattress and turned it sideways against his bedroom wall by the time I got in there. Somehow being in his bedroom in that state didn’t feel as invasive.

Bingo. Pictures.

Several in frame sat at the top of a box on his dresser. It obviously was coming with us, it had no lid, and was overflowing. So of course it was okay for me to look.

Maybe I should ask. In a second.

I loved this peek into his personal life. Right on top was a picture of him in a red cap and gown between an older man and woman. All three were beaming. “Are these your parents?” I called to him.

He poked his head out of the bathroom. I made sure I wasn’t touching anything, but I pointed to the top of the box. He smiled. “Oh yeah, that’s Leroy and Norma.”

“You call your parents Leroy and Norma?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, they adopted me when I was 14. So, I call them both. Mom, Dad, Norma, Leroy.”

Adopted at age 14. This guy definitely had a story. But today was not the day for prying. “They look like great people,” I said, meaning it.

“They are,” he said, and disappeared back into the bathroom, making no further comment.

A postcard type photo stuck out a little further than anything else. Surely I could just…look at it? This wouldn’t be considered snooping. I did warn him that’s what I was here for, right?

I pulled it just a little further out, and came face to face with a much younger Rhett, wearing nothing but a pair of Calvin Klein underwear and a pair of low slung unbuttoned jeans, in an obviously professional photo. The brand logo clearly emblazoned across the bottom of the card.

Oh my god.

“What?” Rhett called from the bathroom.

Oops. I’d said that out loud, not just in my head. “Um, I swear this was just sticking out, I didn’t dig for it,” I said. I pulled the card all the way out, just as Rhett came back into sight in the bathroom doorway.

“Oh that,” he groaned.

“What is this?” For some reason my brain couldn’t parse what I was seeing. Was this like a novelty image? Like how you could get your picture on the cover of a fake newspaper at an amusement park?

Rhett made a face. “When I was eighteen I lived in New York for two years and worked as a model.” He looked up and to the side, like he was remembering.

“You were a model in New York for two years? For reals?”

He lowered an eyebrow. “Please don’t think this is a big deal. Do you know how many kids do that? So many! It’s really not a big deal.”

I held the card up and scrutinized it closer. “So is this like, a big secret?”

“Ha!” he laughed. “No way. This town is so proud of my modeling, it’s embarrassing.”

I thought about how they all acted about the calendar. He spoke the truth.

“I don’t know why they are so proud. I mean, coming home after two years basically means I failed.” He swallowed hard and looked at the floor. “I had this stupid idea that I could be somebody.”

There was so much more to this guy than I originally thought. “You are somebody,” I said. “But I know what you mean.”

He leaned against the door frame and regarded me with his blue eyes. Right now they were cloudy and full of rain. It made no sense, but it felt true to me.

“If it makes you feel better, being somebody is overrated,” I said. It was the closest thing to a confession I was ready to make in the moment.

“Maybe,” he said. “Don’t worry, that was a long time ago. I have no such delusions now.”

Trying to change the subject, I turned back to the picture of his parents. “Are your folks still alive?”

“What?” Rhett choked. “How should I know?”

I held up the framed photo of the three of them together. What did he mean?

“Oh.” Rhett leaned against the door again. He put his hand on his head. “Sorry about that. I didn’t know what you meant. Leroy died a few years ago, Norma is still around.”

Just then Tiger wandered into the room and found his way to Rhett’s feet. Rhett slid down the door frame onto the floor and pulled the pup onto his lap. I crossed the room and slid down the wall to sit next to him. He leaned against me and said nothing. His body felt warm, solid. The closeness felt…like home.

“You’re somebody,” I said.

“How do you know?” His question came out in a weary monotone.

“Because your dog thinks so,” I said. “And dogs are never wrong about people.”