After the wedding, Oscar and I spent every free moment together. We worked for weeks to finish the bathroom. There were some hold ups, like we had to wait for fixtures to arrive because Oscar didn’t want any of the ones from the downtown hardware store.

Oscar had never scrubbed tile before, and wiping the tiles over and over after grouting turned into an all-night job. That job can’t wait, because the grout will set on the tile and the entire job will be ruined. My arms were so sore the next day I could barely lift them. Oscar was in even worse shape.

But doing a project like that with him? No better way to spend my time.

After that, we took a few days off to just sit on the couch and watch movies. Oscar showed me all the titles he’d referred to that I hadn’t seen. It was fun to re-do or fix that part of my past. I could fill in the popular culture blanks with Oscar. He explained the context and the history of the movie, and then we would watch it, and usually watch the bonus features too.

He always wanted to analyze everything, though he usually didn’t talk during the movie. I was content to just enjoy the story and let it be, but I learned quickly I didn’t have to say much. Oscar had a lot of analysis, about everything, and all I had to do was listen and ask half-intelligent questions. I could never lead the discussion, but I learned a lot listening to him.

Sometimes I wondered what a smart guy wanted with a dude like me. But I shoved those thoughts away and tried to enjoy it.

Tiger finished his basic training and we worked on tricks, both the standard dog things, and also some fun feats to show off in a fire safety seminar. He could stop, drop, and roll, and demonstrate crawling low to avoid smoky air.

We took him to the station and with the chief’s permission, Oscar helped me teach him how to run on the treadmill. Tiger was still a puppy, so he didn’t need as many miles as a full grown dalmatian, but the more foundation we could set the better.

Then later when he was fully grown, he would be well exercised and not unruly. Oscar said the top five training solutions for a ‘bad’ dog is exercise.

Sometimes I think that applies to people. But not everyone shares my enthusiasm for physical activity. Tiger does, though! The little dude never stops moving! It’s great!

Despite his gruff start, the chief fell in love with Tiger, and said he could come to the station any time. He even had a bed there, and all the guys learned how to be consistent with him — after Oscar held several dog training seminars. (I called them fireman training seminars. My dog was already trained, thank you very much.)

Oscar made several more videos detailing both Tiger’s training, the remodel, and some other things. I had no idea how much work it was to make videos. I thought you just held up your phone camera or set up a camera, recorded, clipped it a little, maybe, and then uploaded it.

No. Making videos for the internet is so time consuming — no wonder it becomes someone’s job. I could see why people wanted to get paid for their work too — especially the ones who came up with and made new content so often? I couldn’t believe Oscar lasted as long as he did, updating so often and doing things he wasn’t sure he wanted to do.

But this time seemed to go better, at least better than he described. Every time he posted a new video, he seemed a little happier about his career. I told him that meant he was headed in the right direction.

Our schedules synced, and our close proximity made it convenient to share meals too. In the morning, why make two pots of coffee when you can make one? Sometimes he slept in my bed, sometimes I slept in his. We usually ended up making out, frotting or exchanging blow jobs most nights — once our arms worked from all the tiling. And of course, we took lots of showers together. It was the greatest summer of my life.

Frotting, blow jobs, making out. That’s as far as it went with Oscar. We didn’t go any further. I wanted more but I think neither of us wanted to deal with the repercussions. We just enjoyed the here-and-now bubble of this summer, knowing that it would come to an end soon enough.

I didn’t date anyone else. I didn’t have sex with anyone else. I deleted my Grindr app.

It hung in the back of my mind that we should figure out what to do about the future, but I didn’t want to spoil it. I didn’t want to scare Oscar away.

Because this was supposed to not mean anything, right? It was supposed to just be a temporary thing. Because we’d agreed we were just friends with benefits. Because we’d agreed neither of us were good at relationships.

Except this one seemed pretty good — whatever it was.

* * *

“Hey can I talk to you for a minute?” Oscar stood in my doorway, holding his phone against his chest, a weird expression on his face.

I laughed. “Of course you can. What’s up?” And why was he just standing in my doorway? I was sitting at my kitchen table, studying my fireman curriculum. I passed the first test, now I was on to the next rung on the ladder.

He dropped the phone and twisted both hands around it. “Remember how I said I had a tenant coming to live here in the fall?”

Hello reality my old friend. I was used to never staying in one place long, it was the blueprint of my life. Why would this be any different? I clenched my teeth together inside my mouth, hoping my expression did not betray me. “Yeah, of course,” I said, trying to sound as casual as possible and arranging a smile on my face.

Oscar frowned a little and searched my eyes. “He’s getting out of rehab and he’ll be here in a few weeks.”

Of course I’d done nothing to figure out a new place to live. I had the “I’ll think about it tomorrow,” attitude. Summer does something to us, I swear. “Okay, I’ll start looking for a place, thanks for the heads up.”

Oscar chewed his lip and leaned his lanky frame against the door frame in a large curve. He looked at the floor and the silence hung between us.

“Something else bothering you?” I asked. I wasn’t going to say anything about ‘us’ first, if he wasn’t.

He sighed and blew up at his bangs. “Rory…” he began.

Fucking Rory. I gripped my pencil a little tighter.

He continued. “He wants to do a joint video with me.”

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s a thing a lot of YouTubers do. Like after the breakup, you do a video together. It’s a way to keep both your brands clean, I guess. I don’t know.”

“Or a ratings grab?” I said.

His eyes met mine and then looked away to the side. “Yeah, probably that too.”

“Is that something you want to do? Make a video with Rory?” It was hard not to say his name like it was a dirty word.

He ran his hand through his hair, making it stick every which way. I loved it when he did that. “I don’t want to. But I think maybe I need to.”

Why was he telling me this then? “Do you want me to talk you into or out of this?” I said.

He took a step inside, both hands still holding his phone, stretched out toward me a little. “I was hoping…” he shook his head. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

I gave him my best “are you fucking kidding me” face and waited.

Oscar twisted his arms around himself. He looked so vulnerable. “I was hoping you’d maybe come with me for moral support.”

“Go be your bodyguard while you have to spend time with Rory?”

He nodded, his mouth twisted in anguish.

“It’s a good thing you asked, because you couldn’t keep me away if you tried.” I stood up and held my arms out for him, and he rushed toward me. “Nobody fucks with my Oscar,” I said. I buried my nose against the side of his head and inhaled his scent. “Except me,” I said with a smile.

All the tension left Oscar’s body and we both cracked up, our laughter waking Tiger who’d been fast asleep on his back. He flipped around, and looked from side to side, giving a little “merf!” to warn off whatever it was that startled him awake.

“Aw, Tiger,” Oscar said. He ran his hand along my cheek, scratching his fingertips with my stubble. “I think this Tiger has tamed you,” he said.

“I think that was you,” I said, and met his lips with mine.

We didn’t get anything else done that day, unless you count each other. I didn’t know how much longer I got to be with him, so I made the most of every chance I got. I wanted to fuck him so badly, but with the relationship being temporary, that was too personal and intense for either of us. My heart sat in a precarious enough position without giving Oscar everything — as much as I wanted to.

Wrapping my lips around his cock was wonderful too.

Later, I woke up while he was still asleep in my bed. I watched him sleep, the easy breaths sighing in and out. His face seemed so peaceful, even happy. I tried to memorize every bit of him.

Sometimes when I was a kid something good would happen, and I would squeeze my eyes shut tight, and try to remember every detail in my mind so I never forgot it. Then I would open my eyes again and check the details, so that I had the memory just right.

Now, as a grown man, I still had to remember this blissful moment. I squeezed my eyes closed, and reviewed the scene before me, finding anywhere my memory was hazy so I could sharpen it at my next look.

I knew nothing would compare to the easy and electric relationship I had to Oscar. If it couldn’t last, I could make it last in my mind.