Ignition – An electrical system used to ignite the air-fuel mixture in an internal combustion engine.
“Hey, you ready for tonight?” Sway asked approaching my locker.
Her hair was pulled back under her white Bowman Oil Racing baseball hat. The contrast against her dark hair made her green eyes stand out.
I smiled—so did she.
“Yeah, I’m ready. I need to be at the track after school and then I’ll ride up with Spencer and Alley.” I reached for my chemistry book before shutting my locker, turning to face her. “Do you need a ride?”
My perverted teenage brain instantly began contemplating all the ways I could give her a ride.
Damn it.
We began walking toward our chemistry class. I found the need to strategically place my book in front of me.
“No, actually Cooper said he’d give me a ride.” My stomach dropped at the thought.
I’ll bet he did. I thought to myself.
I never cared for Cooper Young but I guess you could call him a friend. We grew up right next door to each other but when I introduced him to Sway three years ago, he slowly began showing interest in her. I knew it would happen eventually. Sway was beautiful and if I thought she’d stay single forever, I was being stupid.
One thing was true, I’d be having a talk with Cooper later today about keeping his hands to himself, something I should have done before prom but I had been distracted.
I hated to even consider where his hands could go, would go, or have gone. Cooper was a nice guy but I knew he had a thing for women and never dated the same one more than once, precisely why I didn’t want him with Sway. He’s not nearly as bad as Dylan Grady was, but he’s close, and not what Sway needed.
When I said I didn’t care if he asked her to prom, I never thought he would continue to hang around. Now that he was, I was cursing myself.
When I glanced over at Sway, I saw her lips moving.
Shit, she’s saying something. Pay attention.
“Hey... are you even listening to me?” She punched my shoulder.
“Yes, sorry. What were you saying?” I grinned trying to use my smile as a plea bargain.
“Asshole.”
“I said I was sorry.” I opened the door to our classroom, watching her walk through.
The room was already half full with our fellow classmates, most of whom I had no idea who they were. I didn’t go to classes often as I usually I had a tutor who came to our house, but during my senior year I did attend school more often.
“Stop thinking about racing and listen when your best friend is talking.” She told me with a goofy smile. “Sometimes I wonder if you ever listen to what I say.”
“I do listen to you.”
“Really?” she took her seat next to the window dragging out her book from her bag. “Could have fooled me,” I glanced at her book where she had stuck various racing stickers all over it and smiled when I saw my car number outlined in a Sharpie.
Chelsea walked in at that moment so I couldn’t say much more. “Hey,” I said in her general direction as she sat down next to us.
“Hey,” she replied kissing my cheek.
I don’t know why but I always felt uncomfortable when she did that in front of Sway. I still got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when Sway was around, as though my being with Chelsea was bad.
“You coming tonight?” Sway asked Chelsea biting on her pen.
I continued to stare unabashedly at Sway’s lips curled around the pen, ignoring the fact that Chelsea was talking to me.
Fuck me! Look at those lips. Jesus, she is beautiful.
“Jameson!” Chelsea yelled directly in my ear.
I turned to her as Sway rolled her eyes.
“What?” I snapped opening my book to avert my eyes away from Sway and that goddamn pen.
I hate teenage hormones.
Sway kicked me under the table. “Jameson, I was saying ... it’s just a bunch of guys up at Dayton Peak tonight, right?” she hinted.
“Oh, yeah, right,” I caught on. “Yeah, Chelsea... that’s why I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think you’d wanna come up there if it was just the guys.”
Chelsea smiled tenderly, her blue eyes focused on my lips. “That’s not my idea of fun. If it’s just the guys... I guess you’ll be there, Sway?”
Chelsea and Sway still did not get along. They never had and I doubted that they ever would. They were complete opposites. Chelsea was a girly girl and Sway spent most of her time at dirt tracks and cussed more than a trucker.
I never understood why Sway wanted to hang with a bunch of jerk-offs like us, but she did. Our idea of fun was hurling insults at each other and playing practical jokes that had a good possibility of someone being arrested or put in the hospital but I soon became aware that Sway enjoyed our type of fun, too.
Sway quirked an eyebrow at me and snorted, “I guess I’m just a guy.” Her lips wrapped around that fucking pen again.
I reacted. Reaching across the table I snatched the pen from her hand and hurled it across the classroom. To my satisfaction, it slid under the heater vents in the back of the room.
She glared leaning in to whisper, “Was that necessary, asshole?” and then kicked my shin.
“Yes, it was.” I kept my eyes focused on my book.
“Well, I have plans anyway.” Chelsea piped in when Sway started giggling after she noticed I had a fuel pump in my backpack to give to Tommy’s dad.
“You couldn’t drop that off before school?” she asked ignoring Chelsea.
“I was going to but he wasn’t home... so I brought it with me.”
“And, I assume you couldn’t leave it in your truck? You do realize everything in your bag reeks of fuel now?”
“Fuck no. What if someone stole it?”
She smiled widely as though this was amusing to her.
“Yes, because if I was going to break into your truck I would steal the fuel pump and not the hundreds of CDs you have all over the floor board. You know, they make these cool holders now for CDs. You should look into one of those.”
“Hey,” I flicked her hand that reached for the fuel pump. “Point taken—back off me, nag,” I grinned.
Chelsea moved from her seat to sit on my lap, which frustrated me, but I allowed it for God knows what reason.
Sway busied herself with pitching Tommy shit for passing out last night in her lawn. The black marker tattoo we added still present on his cheek.
“Fire crotch, you can’t hold your liquor for shit.” Sway kicked her long legs over the chair next to her.
Tommy’s head spun around to glare and motioned to me with a pointed finger. “Your boy there tried to kill me!”
“I had nothing to do with that,” I defended. “That was Spencer, not me.”
Sway and I started laughing at the memories of Tommy singing half-naked in her yard. We usually kept the drinking and partying to Saturday nights after races but last night “Fire Crotch” as Sway called him, lost his virginity to his longtime girlfriend.
When Mrs. Gunner walked in our conversations drifted away and Chelsea finally took her own seat. Like I said, we’d dated off and on and right now we were maybe on, maybe off. I hadn’t decided.
Thinking back on it, dating Chelsea was more about letting Sway be her own person. I didn’t want to stand in the way of her happiness and I knew I couldn’t offer her anything more than a friendship and I sure as shit wasn’t offering anything more than physical needs to Chelsea.
Chelsea was different from Sway in many ways. For one, Sway was a rebel and did whatever the fuck she wanted when she wanted, whereas, Chelsea was straight-laced. You’d think this straight-laced side would keep her from wanting to have sex, but no. We constantly had the same argument all the time. She wanted to, I didn’t.
Now it’s not that I didn’t want to have sex because, let’s face it, I was seventeen. I wanted to have sex in the worst way but I didn’t want to with Chelsea. I was convinced that she had an ulterior motive, like trapping me, and I wasn’t attracted to her in that way. Sadly, Sway was the one I wanted.
There were plenty of times when Sway and I could have acted on my hormonal flare-ups but she deserved more than that. Sway needed a man who’d be there for her, not one who wanted racing and racing only.
I knew I’d never give myself entirely to Chelsea or any other woman. Sure, we’d probably end up having sex... I was a teenage boy, it was bound to happen. But I knew beyond high school, I didn’t want anything from Chelsea. I’m not sure I wanted anything from any woman besides Sway—I needed her friendship.
Racing was all I wanted to do and that meant giving up a normal life and everything that went with a normal life. Friends. Girlfriends. Normal shit teenagers did.
Class ended and Chelsea was attached to my hip while Tommy and Sway pushed each other out the door.
“If you didn’t fuck clammer last night, I’d think you were gay,” Sway told him.
“At least I didn’t spread my legs for Cooper.” His smile widened. “He’s probably slept with half the girls in this high school now.”
Sway punched his shoulder, hanging her head dejectedly. “Fuck off, fire crotch!”
Without another glance, she trudged away, sadness evident on her features.
“What was that about?” I asked Tommy once we were outside. Chelsea was still clinging to my side.
“You didn’t know she fucked Cooper after prom when you were in Chico last weekend?”
“Jameson, come on.” She tugged on my arm. “Who cares who Sway fucks? Come on!”
“Come on what?” I threw my arms up, irritated. Not only was I irritated she was clinging to me but the fact Sway never said anything about what happened with Cooper had severely me pissed off.
“I thought we could go to my house for lunch.” She smiled tugging again. “Please?”
I looked past her morosely to see Sway sitting on my tailgate, staring at her feet in the parking lot.
“I can’t.” I removed her arm from mine. “I have to drop my fuel pump at Frank’s shop and then I need to stop by Glen’s and pick up my springs before Saturday.”
“You can do that tonight or Saturday morning.”
“No, I can’t. I race on Saturday in Cottage Grove. I’m leaving early Saturday morning before they open and I need to test the setup tonight.”
“I thought we were going to the movies Saturday.” She pouted in that annoying voice she had when she was trying to be adorable.
“No, I never said I was going. I told you when you asked that I had a race.” My voice was getting heated. She never listened when I talked about racing which is why she didn’t know I would be in Cottage Grove tomorrow. “It’s not my problem you didn’t listen.”
“Can’t you blow off the boys then and hang out with me tonight.” She reached for me again. “Why do you need to race in Cottage Grove anyway?”
“Chelsea,” I shook my head taking a step back. “I made plans with my friends tonight and then I’m leaving in the morning. I can’t hang out with you tonight.”
“So you’re choosing your friends over me?”
“I shouldn’t have to choose.” I walked away.
“Lover’s quarrel?” Sway teased with her head hung. I couldn’t see her eyes with her hat on.
I pushed her off the tailgate. “Get in.”
“Where are we going?”
“I need to drop off my fuel pump.”
“Cool, Frank has my new shifter for the red dragon.”
“I’m surprised that piece of shit still runs.” I teased starting my truck. Sway grinned when I revved the engine for her.
“Don’t knock the red dragon. She’s reliable.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “Is that why we had to walk home from the Ranch House Sunday night?”
“You watch—that truck will still be around when we’re fifty.”
“Yeah, as parts in a junk yard.” When I glanced down at her legs she had put up on my dashboard, I noticed her pants were red by her pockets. “What happened to your pants?” I chuckled.
“Fucking fire crotch,” She grumbled. “Asshole asked me to put some ketchup packets in my pocket earlier knowing damn well I’d forget about them.”
I laughed. Those two were constantly at each other’s throats. I was convinced Tommy was Spencer’s long lost brother.
The rest of our lunch break was spent arguing as usual and dropping off parts. Once back at school, Chelsea found me and tried to invite herself to Dayton Peak. I knew damn well Sway would kill me if she came along, so I, once again, told her no.
“Jameson,” Chelsea whined as we made our way out of our last class for the day. “Just come over tonight.”
“Stop asking. I’m going to Dayton Peak with the guys.” I threw my bag in my locker and headed for my truck.
“And, Sway...” she added keeping step with me.
“Your point?” I shot back.
“You always choose her over me.”
“Sway is my best friend... you knew that going into this! Don’t ask me to choose because you won’t like the answer.” I warned giving her another glare before turning toward the parking lot.
Chelsea did this shit all the time. She always made it seem like I wanted Sway instead, when I did, just not in the ways I should. Above all else, I shouldn’t have to choose between Sway and anything. She’d never ask me to choose.
CHARLIE LET ME use the track on Friday nights to test out my cars before the next race so that was where I was every Friday night. It didn’t matter what anyone else was doing—I was always racing. For a while, I was okay with that, but as my senior year progressed, I started to see the drawbacks.
While my friends had normal teenage lives where they partied, attended school functions, and had girlfriends, I didn’t. Monday through Friday, you could find me at the track doing odd jobs for Charlie, my dad or racing. Saturdays were spent traveling to a race or preparing my car, and Sundays were spent heading home from whatever track I raced at and finishing up schoolwork so I could graduate. I didn’t have a normal teenage life and I had few friends who understood the sacrifices I made.
Sway understood. If anyone did, it was her. She never gave me shit if I fell asleep while we were watching a movie because I’d spent the last few days traveling to make it home for school. That didn’t mean she didn’t fuck with me if I fell asleep, but she still understood.
Once I finished testing out my springs for tomorrow’s race and got the setup dialed in, Spencer and I headed to Dayton Peak with Alley and Emma. Sway was already up there with Cooper and Tommy drinking, of course.
“Hey, Jameson,” Tommy yelled as I stepped out of my truck, his words already slurring. I tossed my keys to Spencer knowing damn well I wouldn’t be driving home tonight. “Get over here!” he motioned. “Sway told us you broke the track record in Chico.”
I grinned. “So what,”
“So what?” Tommy repeated incredulously. “Dude, your dad has been trying to break Tate’s record for years and then you act like it’s no big deal.”
I stood beside him. Sway threw a beer my way; I winked at her as I opened it. “It’s not that big of a deal.” I told them taking a drink of the beer and then sitting down next to Sway on the log.
She leaned into my shoulder. “How’d the springs work?”
“Good.” I smiled. “I think I’ve got it figured out. I may need to make some air pressure adjustments but it’s better than last week in Chico.”
“When will you be back?”
“Sunday sometime,”
Sway nodded once and took a drink of her beer. I nudged her shoulder. “You’re coming with me, right?”
“I didn’t know you wanted me to.”
“You always come with me... aside from last week.” I smiled.
It was true. Even if I was racing in California, we kidnapped Sway on the weekends. The one exception was last weekend and that was only because it was our senior prom, I refused to let her come. She needed to enjoy high school.
My eyes focused on her lips once again, wanting to feel them against mine. It’d been a while since the last time I kissed her and the magnetic energy screaming between us right now was enough to make me light headed.
I turned to drinking to divert my attention away from Sway. What caught my attention later in the evening was when Cooper started getting closer and closer to her. And by the end of the night they were leaving together, which pissed me off. I left after only three beers and I called Chelsea on my way home.
“I thought you were with the boys tonight?” she asked when she picked up.
“Do you want to come over or not?” I ignored her snide comment.
“Sure. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
It wasn’t right and it surely wasn’t moral. I was using her for my own benefit. Chelsea was oblivious to the fact that I did not intend to date her beyond high school but that she was only fulfilling a need.
I watched Chelsea make her way inside my room, removing her clothes and lying down on my bed. I knew what she wanted.
I wanted it, too. I did. Sex was pretty much all I thought about when I wasn’t thinking of racing.
Her face grew soft and persuasive. “Please, Jameson,”
My attention came gradually to what she said. “What do you want?”
“You,” she whispered against my bare shoulder.
I didn’t have any intentions of having sex with her that night but when I thought of the energy that hummed between Sway and me earlier and the way her eyes had sparkled against the flickering of the fire, I reacted to what was in front of me.
Yeah, I did it for the wrong reasons and thought of someone else the entire time but I did it anyway. Sway was out doing God knows what with Cooper, why couldn’t I?
I wanted to stop, stop her, stop myself but I didn’t. Stopping didn’t seem like an option once I moved between her legs and my hormones took over and reactions seemed mechanical.
I heard her moan as I continued to push forward. She told me she was a virgin but she didn’t feel like one with the way she moved against me.
Once again, I tried to stop myself but my need seemed to be stronger. I only realized this wasn’t what I wanted when I stole a glance at her lust stricken blue eyes, wanting to see emerald.
The springs of my bed squeaked and my bed shook with what I needed and then I came. Groaning and clutching her tightly, my one free hand that wasn’t holding her to me fisted roughly in her hair.
I regretted it before I even pulled out. Nausea rolled over me as I removed the condom and searched the floor for my jeans.
“All these months of asking—why now?” Chelsea asked pulling her jeans on.
I should have been embarrassed. I didn’t last long with the memories of Sway in my head not to mention the fact that I was nearly eighteen and had never had sex before. There’s no way I would have lasted long.
So many times, I’d imagined Sway in this very bed, showing her what I wanted to do to her. Repeatedly. That was all it took to become a trembling mess.
With my room still dark, I pulled my jeans up and slipped my shirt back on as well.
“Don’t act like you didn’t want to,” I mumbled standing against the wall beginning to truly regret the decision and creating as much space as I could.
“Did you like it?” she pressed, her voice was shy. I felt bad for about a half a second.
“It was fine, Chelsea.” I let out a sigh. “Listen, I need to pack for tomorrow so I’ll see you on Monday.” I threw my bag on the bed to pack my clothes for Cottage Grove.
“Yeah, I need to go anyway.” She leaned in for a kiss once she was at the door.
I leaned over and kissed her chastely.
When she left, I fell back against the wall. I knew having sex with Chelsea was a bad idea. I knew it.
Why couldn’t I just have Sway?
She was perfect but, like everything else in my life, I wasn’t what she needed so I stayed away. She didn’t need someone who couldn’t commit to her.
Thinking of what she and Cooper were doing right now made my stomach churn. Being the nosy fucker I was, I called Cooper to see where he was.
“Hey, where are you?”
He chuckled, his voice whispered. “At my house, where are you?”
“Home.”
He was drunk judging by his tone and talking to a drunk Cooper was about as easy as discussing politics with Spencer when he was drunk or sober. Damn near impossible to get a straight answer.
“Are you looking for Sway?” he finally asked when I hadn’t said anything.
Apparently, I’m not as sneaky as I thought.
“Is she with you?”
“Yeah, she’s sleeping right next to me.”
I punched the wall.
“You’re fixing that.” My dad yelled from down the hall. With a grueling 76-race schedule, he usually wasn’t home on Friday nights but the series had an off weekend.
Cooper laughed. “Is there something you need Riley?”
“Just tell her I’m leaving at five tomorrow morning.”
“Will do.”
I didn’t sleep well that night. Not only was I ashamed that I gave into Chelsea because I wanted Sway but I also hated to think that Cooper was with her right now. I needed to focus though. I had to keep my head clear for the race tonight. It was the Northwest Showdown Finals tonight and I knew I needed to be on my game. Cottage Grove was no Elma—the track was slick and fast. One mistake and the wall bit you hard.
“Did you tether the drag link?” Dad asked when I finished loading my car in the hauler that morning. It was early, way too early, but this is what a local racer’s lifestyle was like on Saturday mornings.
“Yeah, yesterday,” I pulled hard on the new torsion bar testing its resistance.
“What about your exhaust, did Charlie test it last night? The decibels need to be below ninety-five at Cottage Grove.”
“Yeah, it’s below that,” I told him closing the door to the hauler. He always made sure I had everything ready.
His eyes focused on the driveway and smiled. I turned to see what he was looking at after latching the door tightly and locking it.
Sway.
“Nice to see you among the living,” I muttered walking to the front of my truck before tossing some tie-downs in the bed.
Yeah, so I was a little harsh and slightly annoyed. Sue me. I threw my bag inside the truck with a grunt.
Sway smirked kicking my ass with her foot, her flip-flop falling as she did so.
“Shut up, asshole.” She reached down to put her shoe back on. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, twenty minutes late.”
“It’s better than my usual thirty. I’d say I’m making progress.”
Spencer walked up with Alley and handed us a bag of food mom made.
Sway sensed I was angry and cornered me between my truck and the hauler within the shadows of the maple tree.
“Sorry, I overslept. You’d think since you finally got some last night, you’d be in a better mood.” She countered glaring at me but peeking into the bag of food.
“What are you talking about?” I leaned in and whispered in her ear not wanting everyone else to hear.
“You didn’t think you could sleep with Chelsea Adams and her not tell me, did you?”
“I, uh... what... did she say?”
Sway handed me her phone and replayed the message Chelsea left her after leaving my house last night.
“We finally had sex! It was amazing Sway and he told me he loved me afterward.”
“What the fuck is she talking about?” I barked causing Alley and Spencer to glance over at us.
I’d never told any woman I loved them aside from my mom.
“You tell me.” Sway smirked. “You in love, Riley?” her eyebrows waggled.
“Fuck no... she’s out of her goddamn mind. I never said that,” I hip-checked her knocking her sideways and turned to Spencer. “Get in.”
“Don’t shoot the messenger!” Sway teased tickling my side as she climbed over me to get to the passenger seat.
“You know there’s a passenger side door,” I told her when her foot was in my face. “It’s easier.”
“No, it’s not.” She turned back to look at me. “How else would I annoy you?”
“Good point.”
Once we got on the road, the fight for who controlled the music was on.
“I’m not listening to this shit.” She told me giving me the hell no look she had.
“Like hell, you’re not. It’s my truck. Driver picks the music.”
The four-and-a-half-hour drive to Cottage Grove was spent testing out the new speakers in my truck and Sway and I arguing about which Pearl Jam album was the best. The same shit we did each weekend. Her arguments ended when I did my best impression of Eddie Vedder singing “Black.” I knew how to make her speechless.
Once we were at the track, it was my turn to be speechless at how shitty things got and how it happened.
After the first heat race, Spencer found me back at our pit.
“Did you hear me? What’s your temp at?” He panted heavily, his brow drenched in sweat. Tommy stood close beside him checking tire wear.
“I heard you. I was ignoring you,” I told him pulling my helmet off. “Why are you all wet?”
He shrugged and I had a feeling I didn’t want to know.
Shutting my eyes, I listened to the engine. There was a vibration I couldn’t decipher and my temps were off the charts after my heat race. We posted the fastest qualifying lap but the car seemed to go to shit after that.
“210-240,” I shouted over the rumbling before pulling the coupler out and letting the engine run out of fuel.
Spencer’s eyes widened.
“Fuck, it’s gonna blow. We can’t run the feature with those temps.” Spencer grumbled pushing his wet hair from his face.
“No, shit,” I mumbled tossing my helmet inside the cockpit.
Figures this shit would happen when I needed to run good. This was a National event and placing in the top five in a feature was something that needed to happen.
“Jameson,” Sway called out from inside the hauler. “You’re in the next heat race.”
“How?” I knew I didn’t make the transfer spot.
“Shaley dropped out. Transmission’s shot—you’re in.”
I nodded and pulled my helmet back on. “We need to run it. If it blows, it blows.” I shrugged when Spencer began to grumble again about this being our last motor.
There was nothing we could do. Once the temperatures spiked like that, it was a given it’d blow, but you couldn’t be sure when.
Surprisingly we did well in the second heat and advanced to the feature where the track changed drastically.
I corrected my line, searching for the new groove while gobs of mud flew, slapping my helmet visor. Coming out of turn two I yanked a tear-off in order to clear my vision; the narrow strip of cellophane fluttered away.
Depending on a track conditions, it varied how many I tore away.
Track conditions have a tendency to change quickly on dirt, so you come out of turn two and entering turn three, it’s different.
Asphalt and dirt are extremely different. Dirt changes tremendously throughout the night whereas asphalt changes too, just not as drastically. You can actually feel it when asphalt was changing.
Dirt is weird. When most people think of dirt, they think it’s the same everywhere they go.
Not true.
With composition of dirt being different everywhere you go, each track has a unique personality. Where some tracks dry up and resemble asphalt, others stay moist and sticky all night.
That night the track dried out so it was hard to find a line and setup my car worked well with. At tracks like Cottage Grove, I preferred running high and letting my right rear bounce off the cushion, jolting me forward. Sometimes this worked, other times it didn’t. It seemed that any line I tried, my car would hang on.
That was the other thing with racing on dirt, when the track changed, the groove changed and you had to find your new groove and hope like hell it had the same speed as the one you just had. It seemed like I was constantly looking for the new groove and some racers didn’t even see the track changing.
We made it to the feature but the engine wasn’t what took us out of the race with six laps to go. In my 360-Sprint I ran three brakes, every corner but the right. It was a trick my dad taught me that helps with cornering at tracks like Cottage Grove when the rails tend to get bunched up by the slower cars.
This obviously does nothing for your stopping power.
So there I was running second next to Justin West, when I leaned against him in turn one, couldn’t slow down as much as I needed and took us both out and destroyed both cars.
I immediately got out, checked on Justin and apologized. I hated that I took him out in Skagit for a stupid mistake and now here I was taking him out again.
Now I’m not going to say I wasn’t pissed. I was pissed. I hated losing. Anyone who tells you they don’t mind losing is full of shit.
I walked back to the pits while they brought my car around. Looking over the smashed wing and front axle that was twisted around the side, I hated to think what it was going to cost to fix it and how hard my dad would make me work at the shop to pay for the parts.
Though my dad had money to fix the cars I destroyed, it didn’t mean that shit came for free. I worked my ass off in that shop to be able to race. All that hard work didn’t go without learning either. I could put a sprint car together from the ground up if need be and, to me, that was huge to learning these cars and how they handled.
In turn, I felt that it made me a better driver understanding things like that.
I took my time getting back to the hauler, watching the last few laps. Sway sat beside Spencer and Alley, biting her nails. She did this when she was gauging my reaction to something.
Flashing a smile at her, I looked over at Spencer.
“Car’s done for.”
“I see that,” he muttered looking over the wreckage that pulled into the pits.
WE ENDED UP finding a hotel right outside of Cottage Grove for the night.
“Who picked this shit hole?” I asked afraid to remove my clothes or shoes for that matter.
Alley dropped her bag on the floor. “Since you three aren’t eighteen yet, we did.”
“You could have found some place—” I began but was interrupted by Spencer’s glare to shut up. “Right,” I mumbled understanding he had no choice in the matter.
Alley had Spencer by the balls.
“Where are we all sleeping?” Sway asked rubbing her eyes. Emma was already asleep on the couch leaving two queen-size beds.
“Alley and I will take this bed and you and Jameson take that one,” Spencer said laying down on the bed.
We were all so exhausted by the time we reached the hotel. I don’t think anyone had enough energy to argue, not that I would have argued sleeping next to Sway anyway.
“Keep your clothes on.” I whispered to Sway when she began to take her jeans off. “This bed is questionable.”
“Good idea.” She smiled looking down at me.
We’d slept in the same bed together before on a few different occasions and I soon realized she liked to sleep in her underwear, no matter where she was.
Sway wasn’t self-conscious at all, nor did she have any reason to be. She’d walk around naked in front of you if you didn’t object. I didn’t want to object, but for the sake of my self-control, I objected.
Once in bed, Spencer and Alley were fast asleep which left me wide awake staring at Sway.
“Stop looking at me,” she whispered startling me.
“Sorry, you sleeping?”
“Yes, but I’m answering you... strange.”
“Shit head.” I nudged her shoulder.
“Was it good?” she asked.
“Huh?”
Was what good? I wondered.
“Chelsea.”
“Oh...” Sway and I usually talked about these things but now I didn’t know what to say and I was curious as hell as to what went on between her and Cooper last night. “No, it was quick though.”
“Minute man, eh?”
“Not quite. I was thinking of someone else.” I prayed she didn’t ask who. Thankfully, she didn’t and I’m not so sure she even heard me.
Her eyes drooped shut once before opening. “Well, she’s a bitch, regardless.”
“What did you do with Cooper?” I blurted out.
“Uh... nothing much. We had sex a couple weeks ago and now he wants it all the time but,” her eyes opened and she smiled. I could see a faint blush to her cheeks, “he sucks... really, he does. It wasn’t what I thought it would be. It just felt like movements you know, something to satisfy an itch.”
“Well, he’s still an asshole.”
“He’s your friend,” she pointed out.
“He’s still a dick,” I repeated rolling over on my back to stare at the white ceiling.
“We should find new people to have sex with,” she mused tiredly.
“Like each other,” I breathed softly.
Her eyes were closed so I assumed she couldn’t hear me. That wasn’t the first time I’d made sexual innuendoes toward her but she never took me seriously. I was constantly telling her what a nice ass she had but she always blew it off as teasing.
“Yeah,” she answered and rolled over, leaning in to kiss my cheek, her eyes closed. She intended to kiss my cheek but as she did that, I turned my head and our lips met.
The spark sent a jolt of electricity to the exact place I didn’t want it to. Her lips stayed connected with mine before returning the kiss with another one, and then another as she shifted closer to me.
My hand rose hesitantly and cupped her cheek as I leaned in for another kiss, my lips parting ever so slightly, breathing her in. She felt amazing, she felt right. I wanted her badly.
I did the only thing I knew to do and that was to shift away from her, hiding my arousal. Sway didn’t need this. She needed someone better and not Cooper or Dylan.
Hell, I would never think anyone was good enough for her, including me.
“Goodnight, Sway,” I whispered and kissed her forehead once before turning away from her.
THROUGH YEARS OF experience and extensive observation, I had determined my brother was clinically insane. At least that was the only rational explanation for his behavior I could come up with.
First off, sleeping in a hotel room with Spencer was a risk in itself. Second, waking up alone in a hotel room with him was even worse. Just like any other volatile animal, you never knew when he’d attack and, for a reason unbeknownst to me, I was his favorite target, besides Sway. If he could knock us both down with one hit, he’d do so.
So, there Sway and I were, lying in bed, alone. Everyone else must have gotten up to eat breakfast.
Yawning and stretching I went to move my arms above my head when I realized I couldn’t. They were handcuffed... not to the motherfucking bed but, worst of all, to Sway.
This wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t half-naked, as was Sway and Spencer fucking knew that. It’s exactly why he did it.
He may be a deeply troubled sadistic asshole but stupid was not one of his qualities.
This was not the ideal situation for a number of reasons… all that flooded through my stupid teenage brain were pornographic images of Sway in handcuffs and all the things I would enjoy doing to her.
Consequently, this resulted in an embarrassing reaction that I couldn’t cover up because my hands were handcuffed.
Thank God for the blanket.
I pulled on the chain, the clanging of the cuffs hitting against the metal framed bed caused Sway to stir.
“What the fuck?” she shouted realizing her hands were cuffed.
The sequence of emotions that displayed across her features would have been entertaining if we weren’t handcuffed.
“Fucking Spencer,” She grumbled and slumped back against the bed.
If there is one positive thing I can say about Spencer, it’s that he never does anything half-assed. The crazy son of a bitch had somehow removed my jeans leaving me in my boxer-briefs.
I moved my legs to relieve the pinching on my wrists when the blanket slipped off both of us and pooled on the floor. This also wouldn’t have been so bad until my reaction to the pornographic images was revealed.
There was no way to hide it.
I was mortified. Sway was entertained.
“Uh... are you okay?” she asked in between giggles.
“I’m so glad you’re entertained by this.” I replied not so calmly.
“I’m sorry, it’s just...” her giggles prevented her from finishing.
I did the only thing I could. I kicked her.
“You know what... you suck.”
“Yeah, you wish right about now.” She cackled.
That did nothing for my problem, nothing at all.
The next fifteen minutes were spent with Sway making every sexual reference she could possibly think of. I tried to kick her off the bed and finally resorted to curling into a fetal position and trying to hide myself from her.
Spencer eventually returned to see the results of his handiwork and gloat in his glory.
While laughing, Spencer choked out, “Wow there, little brother, happy to see us?” and then proceeded to pat down his pockets searching for his phone. I could only assume that he planned to capture this on film.
Fortunately, for me, he couldn’t find his phone, which happened about four times a day.
Spencer has waged mental warfare on me for years and, at some point, you’d think he’d move on, but he hasn’t. Every chance he got he would take a picture of his fucking dick and send it to me. Just so we’re clear, I did not enjoy this.
The happiest day of my teenage life was the day he moved in with Alley. The worst day was when he still came over every goddamn day. Other than sleeping at their apartment, they were always hanging around the house—it was unacceptable to me.
Getting him to release us was a chore. It took some major persuasion by Sway to get this accomplished.
I didn’t have the energy to chase Spencer out of the room once I was released, but Sway did.
When she returned all sweaty and panting, I bolted for the bathroom. The reactions I was having to her this morning were alarming.
The entire trip home Spencer made references to wood and said the word “hard” any chance he could. Sway provoked him which was another part of the day that was unacceptable to me.
At one point, when we stopped for lunch, I pushed Sway against the side of the restaurant when everyone else walked inside.
“What’s up?” her eyebrows waggled, grinning lasciviously.
“Shut up, already,” I groaned. “It’s not entertaining.”
“Oh, yes it is.” another grin. “It’s very entertaining.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her fingertips touched to her lips as though she was contemplating. “Now tell me, do you always have this much of a reaction in the mornings or was it just in my presence?”
I couldn’t tell if she wanted an honest answer so I started to panic. “Yes ... wait, what?”
“I’m being serious,” her eyes narrowed and she was being serious. “What’s with you? Why are you acting all weird... so I saw your morning wood, big deal?”
“Big?”
Her face flushed and her eyes darted to the concrete. “Like you need to be told,”
“Ego boosting is always good.” I suggested and leaned back against the brick wall.
“Like I said, you don’t need to be told but, yes, you’re rather large Riley.”
Spencer walked and looked at us. “Hey, assholes—get in here.”
Sway reached for my hand when I groaned. “Come on, let’s eat.”
“You need to stop it with that shit.” I hissed and smacked her ass causing her to yelp.
“Or else what?” she challenged opening the large glass doors to the restaurant.
“You don’t want to be on my bad side. I’m your best friend so I know all the ways to get you back, and I know all the things you are deathly afraid of.”
“You wouldn’t...” she knew damn well I was aware she was afraid of clowns and could wreak havoc on her with them if I wanted to.
“Watch me.” I smacked her ass once more, this time my hand lingered a little longer than necessary.
As a teenager, I wanted to see myself as some kind of renegade, or rule breaker, a badass. It was bullshit. I was just as vulnerable as everyone else, probably more so with the addition of the teenage hormones controlling my body and ruling decisions.
I wanted to take risks and prove to everyone I was a renegade rule breakers they thought I was. With any risk, there could be reward but there was also be fallout. Then what? All I knew was I wasn’t willing to take the risk when it came to Sway.
Losing her friendship wasn’t an option.
The funny thing with risks was even if you weren’t willing to take them, they were still tempting, like the last cookie on the plate.
After a while, your self-control got the best of you and you reached out for the cookie.