Scuffs – Slang term for tires that have been used at least once and saved for further racing. A lap or two is enough to “scuff” them.
The morning we left, I took my time loading everything after I got back from seeing Charlie and Sway. Charlie informed me that if anything happened to Sway, he’d kill me.
I loaded the car that morning and everything else we were taking with us.
To save on money, we only took one 360-sprint for now and then the others would be stored at the race shop my dad had built in Mooresville.
This would make it easier when we needed to pick up different cars.
Spencer and I had the car loaded with spare parts and engines by nine that morning. Sway showed up not long after that with two bags.
What girl could leave home for five months and take only two bags for clothes? Sway could. This confirmed my theory that she was pretty much the coolest girl I’d ever met.
While my parents made sure we had everything and harassed us about safety and food, Alley showed up. Spencer and Alley were inseparable these days, which meant she would be coming with us.
I was okay with that, only because we needed all the help we could get. Standing around the driveway after everything had been loaded, we went over the schedule with my parents so they knew where we would be and when. You could see the hesitation and anxiety in their eyes. They wouldn’t have told you but to let their two sons travel across the country with no supervision was a significant risk for them, particularly when you are talking about the Riley boys.
Despite our argument yesterday, I never thought I would see Chelsea again but she showed up carrying a bag.
“What are you doing?” I asked glancing down at her bag and then leaned back against my truck. My arms crossed over my chest.
“I’m coming with you.” She told me throwing her bag at my feet. “I’m not letting you go that easily ... if Sway is coming, I’m coming.”
“Do you really think after yesterday, I would ever want to see you?”
“I’m your girlfriend.”
“Who fucked around,” I hastened to add.
“So did you.”
Anger surged through me. I shoved my hands in my pockets.
“I never slept with anyone else, Chelsea.”
“But you kissed Sway.” Her eyes had tears in them as she examined my gargoyle expression. I lost my temper in front of everyone. My family was standing not more than twenty feet away and I lost it.
“Why do you always bring up Sway?” I seethed my voice just below a shout. “I’m fucking sick of it! Do you want to know why I’m friends with her?” I didn’t wait for her to answer. “Because, unlike you, she’s not a vindictive, fucking, insecure bitch.”
“I’m not insecure. I know that I’m attractive.”
Rolling my eyes, I shot back with, “What do you want? Why are you even here?”
I wasn’t upset that she slept with Colby, I was relieved. It was a way out for me. What I was upset about was her accusing me of sleeping with Sway.
“I’m coming with you.” Her eyes found mine.
“No, you’re not.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I forgot ... you’re like twelve fucking years old.” I sighed and stepped closer. “No, you’re not coming.”
She stomped her foot as I knew she would. “I’m coming with you!”
“No...” Jameson told her and hung his head. His temper seemed to be diffusing ever so slightly but I could still see that he was on edge.
Why Emma and I found this so entertaining was beyond me but I couldn’t stop laughing. Probably because I hated Chelsea and I knew she used Jameson for her own popularity.
First came the rage, she slapped him so hard that his head jerked back. His cheek turned pink but he cracked his neck glaring at her and stood straighter, stepping closer to her as if this was his warning to her not to do that again.
Then she hugged him and from the grim expression he wore, it was just as painful. We couldn’t hear anything else they were saying as Jameson was blocking our view but I could tell he wasn’t happy. I got bored and made my way inside the shop to say bye to Jimi.
“Hey, Jimi,” I greeted leaning up against the toolbox in the far right corner of his race shop.
“Hey, sweetie... did you already say bye to Charlie.” He looked up at me from his place against the sprint car.
He was down there checking tire pressure and the stagger on the car Jameson was taking. I knew we’d be back in but it was still hard to say bye to everyone. We were doing something we’d never done before. Four kids were heading into the unknown to experience life. Jameson and I weren’t even eighteen yet.
“Yeah, I said goodbye this morning. Jameson came over and talked with Charlie for a little while and then we left.” I laughed. “I think he wanted to warn him that if anything happened to me, he’d probably kill your son.”
“Sway... I’ll kill Jameson myself if anything happens to you.”
I only nodded, tears threatening. Jimi and Nancy were like my adoptive parents and seeing the emotional side of Jimi was a little much for me.
“You make sure he’s careful out there.” Jimi requested pulling me into a warm hug. “Keep him focused. He depends on you and sometimes you seem to be the only one he’ll listen to.”
I had to laugh. “Jameson doesn’t listen to anyone, Jimi.”
“I know.”
We exchanged another hug and before tears could overcome the two of us, Jimi made his way inside the house to comfort Nancy. She wasn’t doing so well and carrying around a book full of Jameson’s baby pictures.
I hid in the race shop for a while trying to compose myself when Emma walked in.
Emma was similar to Jameson in the sense that when she wanted something she knew she couldn’t have, her shy side came out. The Riley children were not shy by the way, it was all an act. “Um... I was thinking since I graduated early I could, you know... come with you guys.”
I laughed. “You don’t have to ask me. You need to ask Jameson.”
“I thought maybe I could come along. He won’t even know I’m there.”
“Doubt that.” I snorted. “You need to ask him.”
“Ask me what?” Jameson came inside the shop with an arm full of tie downs. How he got away from crazy lady was probably a miracle. “Shit.” He cussed when he tripped over a pair of shocks Spencer left lying on the floor.
“Emma wants to come with us,” I said.
“Absolutely not,” He didn’t even think about it as he straightened his stance. “Hell, no.” He tossed a pair of tie downs inside the hauler.
“But I want to be with everyone,” she begged.
I started to feel for her. Emma didn’t have any friends besides us and now that everyone was going with Jameson that would leave her with Jimi and Nancy.
Jameson leaned against the sprint car and crossed his arms. “You’re not coming. I don’t want that type of responsibility. It’s bad enough I have to worry about Sway.”
“Please,” she cried.
I laughed. This was pathetic. “Let her come, Jameson.”
Jameson was quiet and then pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed. “Fine, but I have rules.”
“I’m listening.” Emma perked up.
“You listen to what Spencer and I tell you.” His eyebrows arched in question at her.
She nodded while I giggled next to them.
“No dating racers.”
Emma frowned. “Lock me up why don’t you?”
“Don’t come then,” Jameson challenged.
“Fine, but I get to pick the first hotel.” She beamed and ran to her house to pack.
“I thought we were done with her.” Jameson sighed tipping his head toward me standing shoulder to shoulder with him.
“She’s your sister. She’s not going anywhere.”
“This is going to suck.”
“What did Chelsea say?”
Jameson hung his head. “Uh, well, she broke up with me.”
I couldn’t tell whether this bothered him or not, so I didn’t say anything. Jameson knew how I felt about Chelsea so he didn’t need to hear it again when he was clearly having some mixed emotions about this, so I didn’t say any more.
I thought he would have been glad to get rid of her seeing how he wasn’t even considering letting her come with us.
An awkward silence crept over us when he took a deep breath and smiled. “You ready?”
“Sure, let’s do this.”
“You sure?”
“I was until you said Emma could come.”
“Hey, asshole... you told me to,” he said glaring.
An hour later—an emotional outburst from Nancy—Emma carrying her entire bedroom outside and Jameson throwing everything out of his truck—we were on our way to California.
The plan was to race in Chico this Saturday night, then Vegas the following Tuesday night and then we’d be off to the Midwest.
I thought Jameson would be excited but instead he was quiet. He didn’t even fight me when I turned on Gary Allan.
Once we stopped to eat, I decided to have a heart-to-heart with him while everyone else argued about what hotel we’d be staying in.
I pulled him aside. “What’s up with you?”
He shrugged and looked down at his feet. In the distance, a group of kids around our age piled in the back of a Jeep with a boat attached to it. They were doing what every other teenager would be doing this summer, spending their time at the lake.
“Why does something have to be wrong?” there was a sour edge to his voice I hadn’t heard in a while.
“Are you upset about Chelsea?”
“No.” he answered immediately. He sighed and sat down on the curb outside the Denny’s where we stopped at. “I’m not upset.”
“Then what is it because this mopey side is not something I’d expect from someone who just left home to follow his dreams.” I sat down beside him bumping against his shoulders.
“I just,” he drew in a deep breath. His shoulders slumped forward letting his head fall into his hands. “I guess I feel like my entire family is risking everything for me to do this and what if I can’t? Sure, I guess I can compete with the guys around Washington, but out east... it’s entirely different out there. They eat, sleep, and breathe sprint car racing.”
“And you don’t?” He made no attempt to look at me so I continued. Placing my palms over his shoulders, my head dipped to meet his weary gaze toward the parking lot. “Jameson... ever since I met you, racing’s all you’ve done. Spring breaks, you were in Eldora with your dad. Summer vacations, you were racing at different tracks around the West Coast. Friday night football games, you were preparing your car for Saturday’s race or working in your dad’s shop. Senior prom you were in Chico. Graduation you left early to make a race in Cottage Grove.”
He finally tipped his head and looked over at me, his cheek resting against his forearm. “Do you think I can do it?”
“Yes,” I told him confidently. “You’re an amazing racer. Don’t think of yourself as Jimi Riley’s kid because I have no idea who that is. I only know Jameson Riley. You can do this. What I’m trying to say is that you gave up a normal childhood because you believed in something, yourself. You have this dream that means everything to you and I will not sit back and watch it pass you by.”
He grinned. “You gonna force me to race?”
“If I have to.”
“Really?” he challenged with another grin, this time it was full of mischief.
I held up my hand. “Don’t even think about it.”
He had me thrown over his shoulders before I could even finish my sentence and swatted my ass once. “You were saying?”
“Fuck off and put me down.”
“I don’t think so. Let’s go eat.”
The rest of the night Jameson’s mood improved immensely and when we were lying in bed that night, he finally talked a little about Chelsea. He was always so guarded when it came to his feelings about her.
“So she broke up with you?”
He blinked his eyes slowly as though he was gauging my reaction or something. “Yeah, I didn’t give her an option. When I told her she wasn’t coming, it pretty much forced her to.”
“You didn’t want her to come?”
“No, she... I just didn’t,” his voice changed so I decided not to pressure him anymore.
I always knew when his tone changed that he didn’t want to talk about something.
Rolling over on his stomach beside me, he tucked his arms under the pillow. “What about you, are you going to miss Cooper?”
“Hardly... after I told him I didn’t want to mess around anymore... he stopped talking to me.”
“Figures,” Jameson grumbled rolling his eyes. “Told you he was an asshole,”
“Yeah, well, where were you at prom to warn me?”
“Sorry,” he wrinkled his nose. “I’ll screen your future boyfriends.”
“Good, wouldn’t want any more assholes.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem... I probably won’t approve of anyone. You’re special to me Sway and you deserve someone who will put you before anything else.”
“Have you been reading Hallmark cards or something?”
He laughed, finally laughed. “No,” his eyes found mine. “I want you taken care of. I won’t settle for anyone but the best for you, honey.”
I felt this weird sensation when he spoke the words “I won’t settle,” as though I was hoping he would say it was him. I didn’t know how I felt about Jameson but I could feel something happening between us, something intense but I also felt that maybe it was just me. I decided not to look too much into it because, really, he didn’t need this. This summer would be hard on him and I wasn’t here to complicate things. I was here to support him and that was what I would do. I would be the friend he needed.
I could feel the tension building within him. A crumbling pressure. Now that he had sponsors, this wasn’t for fun any longer. He needed to perform. But with anything that builds with pressure, the constant loading needs to be released at some point and, with Jameson, you didn’t want to be around when that happened. He could put a volcano to shame with the way he could erupt without the slightest trace of warning. I was waiting for the explosion.
I laid awake most of the night, as did Jameson. No one could sleep with Spencer and his goddamn snoring. I was ready to kill him around two that morning.
“This is ridiculous!” I yelled covering my face with a pillow.
Jameson laughed beside me. “Let’s go swimming.”
That sounded like a wonderful idea to me. I jumped out of bed with more pep than necessary and was in the pool before he even made it to the door.
“I take it you wanted to swim.” He laughed stepping into the water. I looked away since he was in fact in his underwear.
So was I but I think I was more distracted by him.
He swam closer, smiling at me.
“You’re wearing your underwear.” His smile grew wider.
“I’m wearing my bra and underwear.” I repeated when his hand reached out and grabbed my ass. “What’s with you?”
“Sorry.” He gave a shy smile pulling away. “I’m horny.”
“Then maybe you should go take care of something.”
“Or you could?” His eyes looked down my body, well the half that wasn’t in the water.
I slapped his shoulder, laughing. “I don’t think so. You swim over there, I’ll swim over there.”
I pointed to opposite ends of the pool.
His eyes, those piercing green ones that screamed sexy, scanned my body again.
“Sorry. It’s been a while.” Before I could say anything, he swam to the other end of the pool.
We could hear Spencer snoring from inside the room. “I don’t know what’s more disturbing,” he began glaring toward the room. “The fact they can sleep through that or that we have to spend the next five months with it.”
“This is going to suck.”
“Yeah, well, I may kill him or Emma by the end of this.”
“You concentrate on racing. Ignore them.”
He smiled from across the pool. “They’re a little hard to ignore.”
I swam closer when he held up his hand and chuckled.
“You better stay down there.”
“Still having problems?”
“Yes.”
We spent about an hour out there in the pool before we fell asleep in a pair of lounge chairs next to the pool.
When we woke up, he was still having issues so I suggested a cold shower, which he took me up on. He tried to get me to join him but eventually he took it alone to bleed his pressure valve as Jimi called it.
“What’s with him?” Emma asked when we were eating breakfast that morning.
“Spencer snored all night.”
“I didn’t hear anything.” She smiled. “I slept great.”
“Figures,” I muttered taking a drink of my orange juice.
Jameson plopped down beside me in the booth while Spencer and Alley, I assume, made use of some alone time in the room.
When we finished eating, we walked the mile back to the hotel room hoping Spencer and Alley were done. The thought wasn’t lost on me that this might have something to do with Jameson’s anger. His brother was getting some and, well, he wasn’t.
“I’m thinking of getting my nipples pierced,” Emma said to no one in particular.
Jameson started coughing loudly.
I smacked his back.
“Emma.” I glared in her direction as she skipped along the sidewalk, pleased with making her brother uncomfortable.
Jameson pulled his cell phone out from his jeans.
“What are you doing?” I didn’t need to ask, but I did.
These last few days if Emma did anything to annoy him, he called home to try and convince Jimi that Emma needed to come home.
“I’m not going to deal with this shit,” he grumbled.
Emma being Emma, reached for his cell phone, retrieved it, and chucked it across the busy street.
“I’m sorry,” she offered when a truck smashed it.
“Listen to me,” Jameson growled at her while I held him back. “I let you come with us ... I won’t feel bad about killing you.”
“I said I was sorry. You don’t have to be such an asshole all the time.”
“Emma,” I interrupted. “I would quit while you’re ahead.”
She didn’t. Emma never did. I think she lived for the moment when Jameson blew up, and that he did.
The race in Chico was cancelled due to a rain out and that did nothing to help his anger. Then, to top it off, Bucky called and wanted him in Indianapolis for a Silver Crown race in four days.
He was already scheduled for a World of Outlaws race that same day in Grand Forks, North Dakota, at Rivers City Speedway.
With the way the schedule was this summer, he was racing three times a week and on Saturday nights.
I wasn’t sure how long he could keep up with it, but judging by his temper flaring in front of me, the outlook was not positive.
“Jameson, calm down,” I urged when he started loading everything into his truck to leave.
He was slamming doors, throwing parts... just being the usual hotheaded Jameson.
“Calm down? Do you realize what you’re saying?” his voice had that same sour edge it did the first night.
“Since Bucky is paying you, just skip the Outlaw race.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to this,” he ranted ignoring me. “I don’t want to be their fucking puppet. I want to race.”
“I know but you can’t back out of it now.”
“I realize that, Sway.”
“Well, if you do, why are you throwing such a fit?”
Jameson hurled another bag in the back of his truck. It made a loud thud as it hit the bed.
“Just get in the truck. We don’t have time for this shit,” he huffed throwing another one over his right shoulder. “Where the fuck is everyone?”
Anyone who knew Jameson knew to stay away when his temper was surging. They were safely in the hotel room. “They’re in the room.” Without another word, I climbed inside the truck.
“Get out here! We need to go!” Jameson yelled at the room. “We have two days of driving.”
I got back out of the truck when he turned over the toolbox spraying tools throughout the parking lot.
A jet would be nice right about now. I told myself but then focused on the bigger picture, getting Jameson to calm down.
For one, I was not riding next to this crazed asshole for two days and two, well, I didn’t have a number two. I knew I wasn’t going to put up with his shit tonight.
“Jameson!” I grabbed his arm shoving him up against the truck. His hard eyes looked anywhere but me but eventually focused on mine. “Remember why you’re doing this.”
When his breathing had returned to normal, I knew the pressure release hadn’t been discharged nearly enough. This was only the beginning.
Yes, there were times when I wanted to punch Jameson for his outbursts; his lashing out at track owners; the temper tantrums in the hauler ... I wanted to remind him how lucky he was to have these opportunities because not everyone can race, but I never did.
Why?
Because he knew. He knew because those same outbursts, the lashing out and the temper tantrums were why he was doing what he loved. It was because he believed so strongly in what he was meant to do that if he was black flagged, he took it personally. If he was wrecked by another driver, he questioned them. And, if he didn’t win, he took it hard. All that emotion molded him to what he was becoming.
The greatest driver he could be.
That emotion made him real but, more importantly, it made him Jameson Anthony Riley.