CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“Babe, can I ask you something?” I asked Tony as we sat at the kitchen table and ate breakfast. He looked delicious in his dark jeans and blue polo shirt. He had a couple meetings today and he would be leaving soon so I decided to take a chance.
I’d been here one month and one week and I still loved it, but I wanted more to do.
“What’s up?”
“I talked to Shane yesterday.” He immediately stopped eating and sat his fork down. Tony didn’t like Shane… or more like, he didn’t want me to like Shane or Shane to like me. He didn’t want me around him. He didn’t like it when Shane was too close to me. He was jealous, but he had no reason to be.
“And?” he prodded.
I shook my head.
“I don’t understand why you don’t like him, Tony. You didn’t have a problem with him when I first got here, but now if you see him anywhere near me, you go crazy.”
“I don’t like the way he looks at you.”
No, that wasn’t it. He just didn’t trust me.
“He’s in love with Shannon,” I told him, even though he already knew. I’d told him a million times. Tony still didn’t care.
“What is it you want to ask me?” He changed the subject back to my original question and I slouched. This wasn’t going as I’d hoped.
“He asked if I could help at the clinic again, even if only part time. He offered to pick me up and bring me home… or he said he’d work something out with you.”
“No,” Tony responded instantly.
“Tony, it’s not him you don’t like, it’s me you don’t trust. I can’t stay locked up here because you don’t want me around Shane.”
“I trust you; it’s him I don’t trust. And is being here that bad?” He almost sounded like I hurt his feelings.
“I love it here. I think I’m just going a little nuts because I can’t go anywhere. I can’t go to the grocery store, you or Larry have to go for me. I can’t go buy clothes or get a pedicure… we can’t even go to dinner or a movie. I just… I thought it would be safe at the clinic. Shane and Shannon aren’t getting along. She’s quitting and he needs help. There’s no telling if, or when, Zacharias will be caught and I thought this would be perfect.”
“We’ll talk about it later,” Tony offered and stood up.
“Tony, I’m doing it.” I didn’t need his permission. I wanted him to be okay with the idea, but I wasn’t going to let him control my life; especially since the only reason he didn’t want me to work with Shane, was because he didn’t trust me. He never once mentioned the fact that it might not be safe.
“You’re not doin’ it,” he stated in an authoritative tone that only served to make me really, really mad. I sat there fuming when he rounded the table, kissed me on the cheek and left without looking back.
I did what I said I was going to do. I went outside, searched for Shane and told him I was in. I would go with him first thing in the morning.
When I explained my plans to Tony after he got home, he was so mad that I got the silent treatment. He wouldn’t even look at me. He grabbed his keys and said, “I’m going out.”
He didn’t get home until one o’clock in the morning. When he decided to go straight to his office the next morning instead of having breakfast with me, I started to doubt my decision about working with Shane. I could have easily told him that I couldn’t help anymore, but that would have been childish. I had to put my foot down somewhere.
I left with Shane.
I sat through a few patient visits and spent time with Shannon… who I adored. She was also an amazing assistant and the patients seemed to love her too.
When I called Tony around two in the afternoon to ask him to come pick me up, he wouldn’t answer. Shannon had to drop me off.
“Hey,” I said when I walked into the house and saw Tony in the living room.
He muttered, “Hey,” back, but he wouldn’t look at me.
“Tony, please don’t be mad,” I pleaded, but Tony didn’t want to hear it. He walked to me, kissed me awkwardly on the cheek and said he needed to run an errand in town. He said he’d be back later.
I was surprised when he was home for dinner. However, neither one of us said much.
That routine continued for the next two weeks. Except for the sex, sometimes with protection, sometimes without, the cuddling afterward and the holding me like he never wanted to let me go… everything else was forced.
Everything had changed and I had no idea how to fix it. I didn’t even know if our relationship was fixable. Tony still didn’t trust me and his animosity toward Shane only grew. He was uptight and stressed, and I was exhausted from the emotional turmoil.
I felt like an obligation.
Especially since he’d started going out at night; he’d done that twice. The first night, the day after we fought about me working, he came home drunk. He wasn’t wasted, but he’d had enough that I could smell it all over him. And last night, he left and didn’t come in until one o’clock in the morning again. He climbed in bed, didn’t even touch me and knocked out cold. This time, he didn’t smell like alcohol, he reeked of perfume. I got up, moved to my old bedroom and cried myself to sleep.
Now, I sat on the edge of the bed and stared down at him looking so peaceful and innocent, but I knew in my heart that he was anything but. He was right next to me, but felt a world apart. I knew something had happened last night, I just wondered with whom.
His brunette? BJ?
I thought back to my daily conversations with Lex, Gayle and my dad. They all wanted me to hang in there. They never said the words, but they wanted me and Tony to get back together.
When his eyes opened, he groaned and threw an arm over them as a shield from the light that poured through the window.
“I guess that means you had a good time last night,” I said. I kept my voice soft.
“It was all right,” he grumbled, but other than that, he didn’t move. I’d decided I was going to leave today. No matter what he had to say, even if he begged me to stay on his hands and knees, I was leaving. I stood up; heartbroken.
“Judging by the smell of perfume, I imagine your night was more than all right,” I whispered.
His arm fell away from his eyes when he asked, “What?”
I shook my head and swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Just forget it, Tony.” I walked in the closet, dressed in jeans, tennis shoes and a tight, pink, v-neck shirt. When I walked out, Tony was still lying in the same position, but now, he watched every move I made through narrowed eyes.
“Mi reina--” he began, but I didn’t hear the rest because I walked out the door. I headed for Starla, the only person, or animal, who could make me feel better. It calmed me to sit with her, to help her, to talk to her and watch her walk around inside the riding ring. Even with stiff joints and swollen ligaments, she handled her exercise like a pro.
Starla was the only constant in my life. The thought of leaving her made me sick to my stomach, but I was more than ready to go home. Of course, I hated the idea of leaving Tony too, but it was obvious he didn’t want me here. He cared about me, that much I knew, but it wasn’t enough.