CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Tony was still behind me when I woke and I froze when I felt what was pressed against my ass.
“Ignore it. I can’t help it,” he grumbled before he asked, “How are you feeling?”
I stretched a little. I wasn’t near as sore as I was before I fell asleep.
“I’m good, but my neck is throbbing.” I lifted a little and Tony sat up completely, scooted off the bed and pulled on some shorts. He walked out the door and I stared after him.
Okay…
I got up, walked to the dresser to see if my sleep shirts were inside, and sure enough, they were… along with my panties. I cringed when I thought of poor Larry putting these up. I slipped into some, threw on a shirt and headed to the bathroom. I dreaded my next mission, but after I brushed my teeth, I slowly started to pull off the bandage at my neck.
My stomach knotted at the sight. The cut wasn’t as long as I’d imagined, but it was definitely longer than I’d hoped; close to three inches and located directly in the middle on the right side of my neck. I’d see it for the rest of my life.
Tony walked in just as I lifted my hand to touch it.
He froze.
“Why the hell did they put stitches and not glue?” he growled.
“Because of where it’s located… and it was too deep,” I whispered. Then I shrugged my shoulders because there was nothing I could do about it.
I faced Tony. “Is that for me?” I asked and pointed to the glass of water in his hand. He came out of his daze.
“Yes, I brought your pain pills and the antibiotics.” He held the out for me, but I only took the antibiotics and the water.
“I’m not hurting bad enough for that. Plus, I still don’t feel one hundred percent,” I told him as I looked at the pain pill in his hand.
“Your dad and Gayle are waiting to see you. Although, I think your dad is waiting for me. He looked more than ready to lay into me.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to him.”
“Don’t. You can tell me that this…” He ran his fingertips over the bumpy stitches, “…isn’t my fault, but that doesn’t make it true. It might as well have been me holding that knife.”
I stiffened. “Tony, one way or another, this would have happened. Everything happens for a reason, which is exactly why this isn’t your fault.
“It is. And there’s no way I can make this up to you, but I swear I’ll live the rest of my life trying to.”
“I can’t do this right now,” I whispered. He waited a beat before he nodded.
“I know you need more time and I’ll try to give it to you, but I’m not going to lose you.”
“Tony, the things you said to me… I can forgive them, but I’m not sure I can forget. But the woman you were with--”
“What woman?” he interrupted and looked genuinely puzzled.
“The morning of our fight, I could smell perfume all over you. You told me you found someone else and then in the hospital you said you never touched another woman while you were with me.”
His sigh was exaggerated. “I would never lie about that. You already know I went to the bar with Larry and a couple of the guys. Brenda was there--”
“Brenda?” I interrupted this time and Tony closed his eyes.
“The brunette you ran into when we were having dinner with your friends.”
“Ah… Brenda.” I looked away because the knowledge of her name stung.
“Trish,” Tony warned.
“I’m not trying to fight with you. I just want to know,” I said calmly because it was true. I was tired of fighting and I needed answers.
“She came into the bar, she saw me, she was drunk, she tried hugging on me, but I shoved her away and left. Larry brought me home. You can ask him.”
I didn’t say anything, because I was mentally making plans to break Brenda’s nose.
Tony didn’t say anything straightaway either, but he didn’t have to because none of this really mattered anyway.
“Do you already know that when Shane hugged me, he was only comforting me because I was upset? It wasn’t what it looked like.”
“Mi reina, I know. Shane threw it in my face when you went missing, but I already knew. I figured it out after I left. I just couldn’t stand to see him touching you, I was sick with jealously… I’m not sure I’ll ever stop being jealous, and I sure as hell don’t want another man touching you, but things are going to be different from now on. I didn’t trust you completely, but I was working toward it and I would have gotten there eventually on my own. I loved you enough to work on getting over the past. Think about that.”
I’d think about that and a shit lot of other things. I nodded.
My parents were sat in the two rocking chairs on the front porch when we joined them. It was mid-day and beautiful outside. I took in the scenery, the bright green field, the sunny blue sky filled with clouds, the beauty of men working with their horses, the picturesque stable in the background, the sparse tree line surrounding the property, and I felt… at home.
“How are you feeling?” Gayle asked as I sat down across from her on the swing, Tony followed.
“I feel better,” I answered, but when Gayle got a glance at my neck and closed her eyes, I knew she was trying hard not to cry. Dad didn’t say much, but he didn’t look upset anymore. He looked pissed.
I explained and described the whole ordeal with Zacharias, but I made sure to leave out the really bad parts. Gayle was upset enough.
“So he’s dead?” Dad asked in a hopeful tone.
“Yes, he’s dead… I think… I mean, I never actually saw him,” I turned to Tony as I started freaking out and asked, “He is dead right?”
“Yes, mi amor, he’s dead,” he said before he grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together.
“How did you get out?” Gayle asked.
I turned to stone.
“She won’t talk about it. She said someone saved her, but she won’t give details and she says she doesn’t remember his face. She wouldn’t even tell the police,” Tony answered for me even though he looked at me like he planned to grill me for details later. Well, he could try, but hazel eyes saved my life and asked me not to tell. So, I was taking his eyes with me to the grave. I shrugged and kept quiet.
“How long are you staying?” I asked my parents.
“We didn’t plan a return flight home, but Gayle and I talked about this from the moment we got on the plane to come here… we’re moving back. Gayle’s unhappy being away from you, so am I, and you already know how much I miss Texas. I was planning to retire soon anyway,” Dad finished.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Oh, we’re more than sure,” Gayle answered for the both of them.
I thought about that. And the more I thought about it, the happier I became.
“There’s a little over three thousand acres here,” Tony chimed in and we all faced him. “You’re more than welcome to build on it if you’d like.”
“Build what?” I asked in a rush, but I already knew what he was going to say.
Tony glanced at me, his brows furrowed and he said, “A house. What else?”
A house?
“Son!” Dad called out and I turned to him.
He stood and faced Tony. “Remember that talk?” He pointed to an invisible spot in front of him and barked, “Now…” before he walked down the steps and headed for the side of the house. Tony didn’t hesitate. He jumped up and followed.
“It wasn’t his fault,” I said to Gayle and she smiled.
“I know that, honey. Your dad knows that too, he’s just upset.”
We sat there and talked while we waited… and waited… and waited, but the men never showed back up. When Gayle asked if I was hungry, my stomach growled and we went inside.
“Lex wanted to come see you, but she had to get back to the girls,” I told Gayle as I sat at the breakfast table to eat the turkey sandwich she made me. Somehow, hers always tasted better than mine.
“Did I tell you Lex is pregnant again?” I asked and Gayle grinned.
“Yes, that girl sure does know how to keep getting herself knocked up,” she answered through a giggle and I smiled.
“I’m glad you’re moving back,” I said softly, but knew good and well that that was an understatement. I was ecstatic and more than a little relieved.
“So am I, honey,” she whispered and she looked ready to cry again. So, I was glad when my dad and Tony walked in, and surprisingly, Tony didn’t appear to be hurt… at least nowhere that I could see, and my dad looked… pleased?
“What were you two doing?” I asked curiously. Tony ignored my question, walked over to me and kissed the top of my head. I didn’t move a muscle.
When I narrowed my eyes on my dad he said, “We were getting a few things straight.”
I rolled my eyes.
Then, I sighed. I was tempted to ask what those things were, but fought back the urge. He wouldn’t tell me anyway.
It’d been a long day. My body was still not adjusted to the time. It was only eight o’clock and we were already getting into bed. Me and Tony. He’d insisted on coming with me, and I’d imagined he was exhausted too. He’d gotten about the same amount of sleep the night before as I had.
“Are you still sore?” Tony asked as he unbuttoned his jeans and took them off one leg at a time. He’d already taken off his shirt which was the reason I was staring at it. I looked back up.
“Not really,” I answered. I turned and walk to the dresser to get my sleep shirt, but he stopped me with an arm around my belly.
“I don’t want anything between us,” he spoke softly against my ear.
I turned in his hold, looked into his eyes and told him truthfully, “Tony, this isn’t right; this game we always seem to play. All the fighting, all of our mistakes…it’s too much. I know you care about me. I forgive you for the nasty things you said to me… the nasty things you thought about me because it was partially my fault.” I paused to take a deep breath because what I had to say next destroyed me inside. “I love you, but I don’t think love is enough. I’m leaving when my parents do.”
“Well, I guess I have one week to convince you to stay,” he said, completely disregarding my speech as he lifted the hem of my shirt. He took care not to let it rub against my stitches when he removed it.
I was completely undressed when he pulled me to the bed.
He didn’t wrap himself around my back this time. He faced me and caressed my cheeks, my nose and my lips with his fingers. They slowly traveled down my neck and I whispered, “Tony,” because I wasn’t sure this was a good idea.
“I just want to feel you. I want to memorize every inch of your body… the texture of your skin… the way you make me feel when I look at you. You think we’ve been playin’ a game, mi reina, but you won a long time ago… I’m yours,” he whispered. I couldn’t stop the damn tears.
“I’m a mess,” I cried.
“You’re perfect.”