On Friday night, Jarrod picked Lana up at precisely 7:00. Lana had chosen a long-sleeved silver dress with black trim, one of the few formal dresses that she had left over from her life before she met Daniel. Her figure hadn’t changed much at all in that time, so it fit perfectly, and its elegant cut assured her that it would always be in style.
Jarrod was dressed in a black suit with a yellow, cream, and black striped tie. When Lana opened the door to let him into her apartment, she had to stop and force her heart to slow its beat. She hadn’t seen him this dressed up, even at work, since he normally wore a coat and tie, rather than a suit. He was gorgeous, she thought. She was so far out of her league with this man.
Jarrod was taking in Lana’s appearance too, and apparently it met with equal approval, since he said nothing, but just let his eyes trace her figure from head to toe. Finally, he reached out a hand and gently smoothed her hair around her ear where she had tucked a few loose strands.
“You look beautiful,” he said softly, a predatory gleam lighting his eyes.
“Thank you,” Lana answered, a little discomfited. “You look nice too.”
Jarrod brushed her compliment aside and moved in beside her to help her on with her coat. “I assume that you’re ready to go?” he asked, picking up her coat from the couch and holding it for her to step into.
“Yes,” she said simply as she put her arms into the sleeves and felt Jarrod’s hands settle lightly on her shoulders.
“Is this a new dress?” he asked as she moved away from him and buttoned up her coat.
“No,” Lana answered honestly. “I’ve had it for a long time.”
“I was hoping you’d used the account that I set up for you,” Jarrod admitted.
But Lana shook her head. “No need to,” she said lightly. “Not when a perfectly good dress was sitting in my closet, begging to be worn.”
“Did Daniel buy it for you?” Jarrod asked curiously, surprised by the wave of jealousy he felt at the thought.
“No. I had it before I met him,” Lana answered, picking up her purse from the table where she had laid it earlier, and missing the relief that appeared briefly on Jarrod’s face. Gently taking the keys from Lana to lock her door behind them as they left, he gave them back to her as he led her out to his car. He opened the passenger door for her, waited as she arranged her coat inside with her, and then shut the door and moved to the driver’s side. But once he was next to her, he simply turned to face her without starting the engine.
“Lana, are you ever going to use that account?” he asked with a slight smile.
Lana shook her head slowly. “No.”
“I want you to have what you need.”
“I have all I need,” Lana assured him. “But thank you for offering,” she added politely.
Jarrod sighed in frustration, then started the car. As he put the car into reverse, he looked over at Lana, who was looking out the passenger window, shivering slightly. He turned up the heat.
“Lana, please don’t think I’m criticizing you, but your coat is too thin for this weather. Would you at least let me buy you another?”
But Lana shook her head. “It’s on my list of things to purchase,” she said lightly. “I’ll get around to it, but I want to get Matt a new coat first. He’s outgrowing his other one.”
“Damnit, Lana, I just want to help you.”
Lana looked at Jarrod in surprise. His hands were tightly gripped around the steering wheel and his eyes were on the road, but she could sense his frustration.
“What the hell did Daniel do to you to make you so damn untrusting and independent?” he asked at last.
Lana was quiet, digesting his question, considering an answer.
“Don’t answer that,” Jarrod said at last. “I know you don’t like to talk about it. I apologize.”
Lana remained quiet, but sensed that she needed to say something to indicate that she’d heard him, and heard the kindness behind his words.
“You can buy Matthew’s coat,” she said at last, looking down at her hands. “He needs one. I’d rather not add anything to my charge cards, and I can’t afford to buy it straight out this month. Will you do that?” she asked.
She was surprised when Jarrod’s response was simply to pull the car off the road into a parking spot by the curb.
“Jarrod?”
But Jarrod wasn’t talking. He simply reached across the seat and pulled Lana fiercely into his arms. He spoke quietly into her ear, which rested just below his chin against his chest. “I will buy Matthew whatever he needs, Lana. Of course I’ll buy his coat. But please, let me buy one for you too.”
But Lana shook her head. “No,” she said quietly. “My debt is my problem. But I appreciate your helping Matthew.”
“I will not have you freezing in a threadbare coat this winter,” he said, still holding her tightly. “If it will make you feel better, we can make a deal. I’ll buy the coat for you, and you can...”
“What?”
“I don’t know... make me dinner?”
But Lana shook her head again, pushing gently against his chest. “I’ll be glad to cook for you anytime. But not for anything you can buy me.”
“So you can do things for me, but I can’t do them for you?”
“Not when it involves handing me money or things. Besides, you’re doing plenty for me. You’ve given Matthew a family. And you’re caring for him in a way I never could.”
“Lana...”
“Aren’t we going to be late for dinner?” she pointed out gently.
Jarrod sighed, then released her, resettling himself behind the wheel. “You’re right. But I’d like to talk about this more, Lana.”
Lana smiled slightly. “Not tonight, Jarrod. Please. I just want to enjoy dinner and an evening out.”
When Jarrod stayed silent, Lana knew that she had won this round. She really didn’t want to talk about Daniel, or about her debt, or about why she kept refusing his money. She just wanted to pretend that things were normal, and that she was simply going out to dinner with a very attractive man.
It was a fairly short trip to the restaurant, and they were seated immediately after arriving. When the waiter appeared at their table, Jarrod ordered a bottle of white wine, and an appetizer platter of seafood specialties. Once he left, Jarrod smiled across the table at Lana.
“I looked at your CV. It’s impressive. I made a few edits to it, but I’d hire you.”
“You sort of already did.”
“Yeah, but I’m ashamed to say that it wasn’t because of your impressive CV.”
Lana laughed. “Yeah, I knew that.”
“I also talked to a buddy of mine over at Storm – they’re looking for a financial whiz like you. I gave them the basics of your background, and to be completely transparent, I told him that you were a friend. But he wants to see your CV. Are you OK if I send it over?”
“Really? Yeah, of course. That’s great. Thanks.”
“My pleasure,” he said as their waiter reappeared with their wine. “Well, no. Not really my pleasure – I’d rather you stayed. But I’m glad to help, if this is really what you want.”
“I think it has to be,” Lana said. “Don’t you?”
Jarrod waited until the waiter had uncorked and poured their wine before raising his glass to tap lightly against hers. “To us, Lana. Whatever us ends up looking like.”
She laughed. “OK. I can drink to that.”
The waiter returned to their table with the appetizer plate. He also brought along two menus, placing them at the rear of the table where they could reach them when they were ready. After being sure that their wine and water glasses were full, he left them alone again.
Jarrod immediately reached for his fork. “Here, try these shrimp. They’re wonderful.”
Lana agreed that they were delicious. She hadn’t had shrimp in what seemed like years, she thought. And it used to be one of her favorites.
“If you’re thinking about dinner, I recommend the grilled salmon. They prepare it well.”
Lana shook her head. “I’m not very fond of salmon. What else would you recommend?”
“Any of the grilled fishes are equally nice.”
After placing their dinner orders for salmon and a grilled mahi mahi, Lana and Jarrod leaned back in their chairs and eyed each other warily.
“Tell me about your life before you married Daniel,” Jarrod asked at last.
“Before Daniel? Why would you want to know that?
“I want to know more about you. Humor me.”
Taking a sip of her wine, Lana took a deep breath and answered him truthfully. “I worked for an advertising agency in Cherry Creek in Denver, which is where I met Daniel. I was an advertising executive, and loved it.”
“But you left advertising?”
“For the most part,” Lana agreed.
Jarrod seemed surprised. “Why?”
Lana hesitated before answering softly, “I needed the anonymity that a different job field would provide.”
“Anonymity?”
“Yes. I didn’t want Daniel to be able to find me.”
Jarrod was silent for a moment, before continuing his questioning.
“So you started working in advertising from the financial end of things?”
Lana nodded her head.
“And what brought you back here? Apart from my job offer.”
“It was a risk,” Lana admitted. “Especially since Daniel knew about Sam and knew that we were close. But I needed a more stable environment, both for me and for Matthew. So I decided to chance it.”
“And if Daniel had still been alive? What would have happened?”
“I have no idea. But I can’t imagine that he would have been too happy with me for taking his son away from him for two years.”
“And it didn’t strike you as odd that you were able to get away from him that easily?”
“I didn’t think about it that carefully – I was too busy trying to make ends meet. But no, I considered myself lucky. And I never really knew if Daniel was looking for me.”
Jarrod looked steadily at Lana before asking the million dollar question. “Why were you running, Lana?”
“Not a good topic for a formal restaurant,” she said, shaking her head. “But I will talk to you about it, Jarrod. I promise you. So tell me about you. Or about growing up with Daniel, if you want to talk about that.”
For a moment, Lana wondered if Jarrod would accept the change in subject, but he seemed to agree that a restaurant like this was not a good place for such a serious topic. So he launched into a series of highly entertaining stories about growing up with Daniel, and the scrapes that they used to get in together when they were young. Lana laughed often, imagining the Daniel she had married as a young boy. It helped, she thought, to hear all of this. She needed to remember the Daniel she had married, not the Daniel she had divorced.
Dinner arrived before they knew it, and they spent the rest of the evening talking about their childhoods and stories from school and college. By the time they had finished their meals and were enjoying a steaming pot of coffee, Lana felt like she knew much more about this man than she had before the evening started. And she found, to her amazement, that some of the feelings that she had shoved back down inside of her were starting to resurface.
“Thank you for coming with me tonight, Lana. I had a wonderful time.”
Lana nodded. “I did too. Thank you.”
After paying for the dinner, Jarrod again helped Lana into her coat and led her to the car. Turning the heat up, he shook his head in frustration. “Are you going to be warm enough?” he asked as he turned the blowers to face her.
“I’ll be fine,” she laughed. “Stop worrying.”
The car warmed up quickly, and Lana was feeling comfortable in no time. When they arrived at her home, she cautiously turned to him and asked, “Would you like to come in for a while?”
“I didn’t know if you’d ask,” Jarrod said immediately. “But yes. I would.”
Shutting off the engine, Jarrod moved around to open the door for Lana and walked with her to her front door. She let them both in, then shut the door behind them, pulling off her coat as she did so. Jarrod pulled off his suit coat, loosened his tie and the top button on his shirt, and sat down on the couch in the living room, leaning back against the cushions.
“Coffee?” Lana asked politely.
“No, but thank you. I don’t think I could fit anything else into my stomach,” he grinned.
“I don’t think I could either,” Lana agreed, moving to the couch to sit down next to him. She kicked off her shoes, and tucked her feet up under her.
“Do you have any pictures of Matthew when he was born?”
“I do. Would you like to see them?”
“I’d love to. It’s hard to picture him as an infant.”
“Rachel has a lot of these too. I made her copies several months ago. I didn’t think to ask if you’d like them too.”
“Rachel has these? Funny, she never mentioned that.”
“Maybe she assumed that you had already seen them?”
“Maybe.” Jarrod moved into a sitting position as Lana sat down next to him with two large photo albums. The first was filled with pictures of Lana and Daniel before Matt came along, and Lana went to move through those rapidly, but Jarrod stopped her. He backed her up, and looked quietly at the pictures of Daniel and Lana from years before. Daniel looked happy, he thought. And so did Lana. He looked through the photos slowly, unprepared for the searing jealousy that ripped through him when he saw the pictures of Lana and Daniel at their wedding. His reaction was unexpected, and unwelcome, he thought. His best friend was dead, and he had no right to feel anything but grief about that, and glad that Daniel had been happy for a while.
Turning the pages, he saw photos of Lana pregnant, looking tired, but happy. Then photos of a newborn Matt. The photos got sparser then, with only a few pictures of Matt as a toddler. But the picture that caught his attention wasn't one of Matt ‒ it was a photo of Lana and Daniel after Matt was born.
“What in the hell happened to him?” he demanded, peering more closely at the picture.
“Pardon me?”
“Daniel. He looks terrible. He looks like he never bathed or shaved!”
Lana sighed. She had forgotten that those photos were in there. She had edited most of them out when she gave photos to her mother-in-law, but she had forgotten to do that with Jarrod. Reaching over to where the albums lay on the coffee table, Lana quickly shut them and took them back to the bookcase.
“It’s getting late, Jarrod. I think you should probably go,” Lana said quietly, even as Jarrod stood up from the couch and started to move toward her.
“Not yet, Lana. What happened to him? What did you do to him?”
Lana felt the old fear of a man’s anger kick in, along with a healthy dose of irritation that he would immediately blame her for Daniel’s condition, but she forced herself to stand her ground.
Jarrod took one look at her face and stopped his advancement. “I’m not going to hurt you, Lana. You know that. It’s not who I am. You have to know, though, that I need answers here. At some point, you’re going to need to provide them.”
Lana moved away from him, putting the couch between them.
“I loved him, Jarrod.”
“What?”
“Daniel. I loved him. He was my husband. By the time I left, it was over between us. But I married him for love. I just need you to know that.”
Jarrod studied Lana for several long minutes before he reached for his coat. “I’ll leave now, Lana, but please talk to me. Soon.”
Lana watched him as he pulled his coat on, and headed for her door. “Matthew is spending tomorrow night with Sam and Nick. I know this is short notice, but if you are free…” she hesitated, then took a deep breath and plunged in. “If you’re free, I’ll tell you about Daniel.”
She looked up to find Jarrod watching her intently. “I’ll be free, Lana. Come over to my house after you drop Matthew off. I’ll make you dinner, or we’ll order in. All right?”
She nodded. “I don’t know where you live. Text me the address? And thanks for dinner tonight, Jarrod.”
His expression softened. “You’re welcome. Good night, Lana. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The next evening, Lana dropped Matthew off at Sam and Nick’s house for a sleepover, promising to be back first thing in the morning for pancakes. Matt barely noticed when Lana headed for the door, as engrossed as he was in the new video games that Nick had picked up to keep his nephew thoroughly entertained.
“You’re going out with Jarrod?”
“Sort of. I’m going over to his place.”
When Sam just raised her eyebrows questioningly, Lana shook her head. “It’s not what you think. I need to talk to him about Daniel.”
“Ah. It’s time.”
“Yeah. Probably past time.”
“OK. You know that you can call me if you need to talk, right?”
“I know.”
Sam grinned then. “And feel free to bring the man by for pancakes tomorrow.”
Lana swatted her sister on the arm. “Stop that. We are talking. That’s it.”
“Uh huh.”
Rolling her eyes, Lana leaned in and kissed her sister on the cheek. “Thanks for watching Matt tonight. This was all he could talk about today – coming over here and sleeping at your house.”
“We love having him. See you tomorrow, hon. Good luck tonight.”
With some trepidation, Lana plugged Jarrod’s address into her phone’s GPS and headed for his house. When she pulled up in front, Lana was amazed. If anything, Jarrod’s home was even more impressive than the Wests’ home. Stepping out of her car and locking it, she just stood for a moment on the front stoop, looking around her. When the front door opened, Jarrod was standing there looking at her with a strange look on his face.
“Are you OK?” he asked.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I was just a little surprised by your house,” she answered honestly.
“That’s right. This is the first time you’ve been here, isn’t it? Come on in. I’ll give you the tour later, if you’d like.”
The inside of the house was as beautiful as the outside, Lana thought. It was well-lit, spacious, and elegant. It fit him well.
Jarrod took her coat and hung it in the hall closet, then pointed the way to his living room.
“Dinner is in the oven,” he told her. “I had it delivered a short while ago.”
“It smells delicious.”
“Shall we have a glass of wine before we eat?”
“Jarrod…”
He turned to her with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been psyching myself up for this for weeks. Probably since I talked to Rachel and Frank. Can we just talk now? And then, if you want me to stay, we can have dinner? Or you can kick me out, but I’d rather get this over with.”
Noting the almost frantic look on her face, Jarrod reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a warm embrace and simply holding her as she tried to calm her breathing. Being held by this man wasn’t really helping that much, she thought, but she nestled closer, enjoying the feeling of safety.
When Jarrod spoke, his voice was gentle in her ear. “I didn’t realize this was something you were worried about. Sure. Let’s talk first.”
Guiding her into a comfortable living room, he sat down on his couch, pulling her down next to him. She drew away, needing some space between them.
“So you talked to Rachel and Frank,” he said, sensing that she needed help starting the conversation.
“I did.”
“And?”
“They were amazing,” Lana said softly.
“You’re worried now about me.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because your feelings about Daniel are wrapped up in guilt. I’m not sure what I’m going to tell you tonight will help that or make it worse.”
He reached out and gently ran the back of his hand along Lana’s cheek. “Let’s get it out in the open and see.”
So Lana told him the same story she had told Rachel and Frank, and she left out the same pieces that she’d left out with them. She told him about his illness, his resultant paranoia, and her fears that he would hurt her son as his condition worsened. She told him about how Daniel self-medicated, and what that did to their finances. She told him about the divorce. And then she told him about his threat to her and her son.
As she spoke, Jarrod felt his entire body grow increasingly tense. It made sense. It explained everything. And it rang true, every bit of it. It explained Daniel’s odd behavior, both on the phone, and when Rachel and Frank went to see him. It explained Lana’s debt, despite her obvious financial responsibility. It explained her intense protectiveness surrounding her son. It even explained Matt’s lack of interest in remembering his father.
But there was one thing it did not explain. When she was done with her story and fell silent, Jarrod slowly reached out and took her chin gently in his hand.
“Tell me the rest,” he said softly.
“What do you mean?”
“I understand that this is what you told Rachel and Frank. But you don’t need to protect me from Daniel’s behavior. I know that there’s more. I’ve seen it in the scars on your arms, the way you shy away from me when I’m angry.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at him, but he refused to back down on this. He needed to know the rest.
Finally, she nodded. Pulling away from Jarrod, she reached for her purse and pulled out a file folder. She had brought it with her tonight as a backup, ammunition in case Jarrod didn’t believe her. But now she needed it to tell the story that she knew she couldn’t tell on her own. It wasn’t an easy folder to share with anyone, but she had promised herself that she would be honest with Jarrod, and this was as honest as she could be. For a moment, she just stood to the side and stared at the heading, ‘Police and Hospital Reports.’
When she looked over at Jarrod, he was still sitting on the couch, his expression filled with a combination of concern and anger. Lana instinctively knew that the anger was not directed at her, but at her ex-husband.
Holding his gaze, she stretched out her arm and handed him the file.