Within a week, Jarrod knew that they were not even close to OK. Lana had put in her two week notice at the office, and while Grace was expecting it, she was still not pleased to be losing her, and she made sure Jarrod knew it. In the meantime, Lana was also making herself scarce over the weekend, dropping Matt off at the Wests on Sunday for the afternoon and claiming that she needed some time to organize her life before she started a new job. When Frank had volunteered to take Matt home to her that evening, Lana had gratefully accepted. During the week, when Jarrod tried to drop by her office, she was always in meetings, working diligently to hand off her projects to others in the department. He was getting close to just dropping by her home one evening to talk to her when she showed up at the door to his office at the end of the day on Thursday.
“Hi,” she said. “Do you have a moment?”
“Of course, Lana. Come on in. You’ve been hard to connect with this week. Is everything OK?”
“Everything is fine, thanks. I wanted to just make sure that you were up to speed on the contract with Will O’Leary. I sent the file up this afternoon, but wanted to flag the notes I put in the margins. There are a couple of discrepancies with past offers, and I wanted to be sure you were aware.”
“I haven’t looked at it yet, but thanks for the heads up. I’ll do it first thing tomorrow.”
“OK, good. If you have questions, Nancy will be taking that over, but I’m available tomorrow, as well as next week.”
“It’s not too late to change your mind,” Jarrod pointed out.
She smiled. Professionally. “I appreciate it, but I think I’m doing the right thing.”
Jarrod stood up and moved around to the front of his desk, leaning back against it. He looked so damn good, Lana thought. It was just not fair. There was nothing between them with any staying power, apart from this stupid physical attraction. All he needed to do was look at her and she wanted to melt into his arms.
“I’ve missed you this week.”
See, that wasn’t fair either. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he actually meant that in an interested-in-her kind of a way. But interested in her meant trusting her, and he was such a long way from that.
“Lana?”
She shook her head. “I need to go.”
“Wait.” The authoritative tone of voice had her simultaneously irritated and concerned.
“Yes?”
“We’re not OK, are we?”
She blew out the breath she was holding. “We’re fine, Jarrod. As professionals, and as friends, we’re fine. That’s all we need to be, right?”
He pushed himself off the desk and strode over to her, stopping when he was within arms’ reach. She forced herself to stand her ground as he slowly, but intentionally, raised his hand to thread through her hair.
“Talk to me,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.
It was too much. Lana stepped away, stepped back from his touch. It didn’t take much, she thought gloomily, for her heart to hope for more.
“I think I’ve talked myself out,” she admitted. “I don’t have anything left in me.”
“You think I don’t trust you.”
She laughed then, but it sounded bitter, even to her. “I know you don’t.”
“I haven’t actually been good at showing you what I feel, have I?”
This time, her laugh sounded more genuine. “Oh, you’ve been great at it, actually. It’s just been hard to take in. Look, Jarrod. I get it. Daniel was your best friend, and all the things he told you about me are probably still deep in your subconscious. It’s going to take a lot more than a story from me to banish that. So let’s just agree that it’s going to take time to get past all of this, and let it go.”
Jarrod was looking at her steadily, and when she was done, he held out his hand to her. “Come sit with me for a couple of minutes, Lana. I won’t keep you long.”
Hesitating, she slowly reached out her hand and let him pull her to the couch. Sitting, he drew her down next to him, but when she tried to pull her hand from his grip, he tightened his around hers.
“My reaction last weekend wasn’t anything I can explain, Lana. All I know is that I was wrong. I may have panicked and come to a really dumb conclusion, but it was only because I care about you and Matt.”
“I’m not saying you don’t care about us. I know that Matt is important to you.”
“Yes, but so are you.”
She continued, telling her heart to ignore the interruption. “Let me see if I can explain my feelings about all of this better than I have so far.”
“I’m listening.”
This time, when she pulled her hand away from his, he let her go.
“In the last year of my marriage, Daniel grew to hate me. You know this as well as I do – you talked to him during that time. He thought I was having an affair. He thought I was part of a government conspiracy to kill him. He thought that I had married him for money, and that I was going to use that money to steal his ideas. In some convolution of all of these delusions, he decided I was having an affair with a government spy to off him, steal his riches, and leave him with no thoughts in his head at all. It would be funny if it weren’t so damn tragic. But the point is, he had no trust in me, his wife, to care for him. He had no trust in me, his wife, to do what was best for him. He had no trust in me, his wife, at all. His first inclination, every single time, was one of suspicion and paranoia. I can’t live like that again.
“I know you care, about both me and my son. But if you can’t see that my actions come from love and from loyalty to my family, then that doesn’t matter. Because as soon as I do something that you disagree with, or that upsets you, you’ll doubt my motives.
“I can cope with that from a boss. Well, a former boss. I can probably cope with that from the friend of my ex-husband, or the near-son of my in-laws. I can’t cope with it in a relationship.”
“Are we in a relationship, Lana?” Jarrod asked.
She said quietly, “No. I don’t think we are. I think that’s kind of my point. I thought we were headed that way, but I’m pretty sure now that we’re not.”
“And if I want to be headed that way?”
She shook her head. “I can’t get involved with you and end up in the same situation that I was with Daniel. If suspicion is the first thing you feel when I do something you don’t understand, we’re in trouble from the start. My heart is already involved, Jarrod. It’s already been pretty badly beaten up, and I don’t think it can take a lot more. I simply can’t take a chance again, not when I know from the start that I’m likely to get hurt again.”
“Your heart is involved?”
“Yes.”
Jarrod hesitated. “Does that mean you love me?”
Lana stood up then. She needed to get out, and now, before she said anything that she would want to take back later. “I’m leaving. Call me tomorrow if you have questions on the O’Leary contract. Good night.”
Jarrod let her go, knowing that trying to keep her in his office was not a good idea. Besides, he had a lot to think about, because she was right. He cared about her, he cared about her son, but his first thought with her had never been trust. Even when she had shown him the police and medical records, his internal reaction had been ‘why did she stay with him after the first time he hit her?’ Classic blaming of the victim, he thought, and he was so not proud of it. He knew that his loyalty to Daniel was the problem. He knew that he was still seeing the man he knew in Iraq, not the man that Daniel had become since his return.
When it came to Lana, his heart was absolutely involved. He had been falling in love with her for months, but his best friend kept getting in the way. Daniel was always there between them. Lana was right – the stories that his friend had told him seemed to find their way into his brain, and they had him consistently making wrong decisions about her.
He had a couple of choices here. He could let her go. Try to just be there for her as the friend of her child’s father. See her at the Wests on occasional Sundays and holidays. Watch when she found someone else to love, to share her bed, to be a father to Mathew. Oh hell no, he thought. That was not an option.
OK. He could just keep going as things were – but he had no idea how things would change, and if they didn’t, the end result would be the same as option one. She’d meet and fall in love with someone else, and he’d lose her. So no. Also not an option.
He could try to reprogram his brain, he thought mockingly, but then he sat up straight in his chair. Wait. That might not be a bad idea. He had Daniel’s story. He had Lana’s. He absolutely believed Lana, but maybe it would help to see Daniel through the eyes of others. Yes, he had seen the official reports detailing the results of his abuse. But maybe he needed to know more. He genuinely grieved for his friend, but it was an odd way to grieve. Asking Lana for details just seemed cruel. He picked up the phone and dialed Errol’s number.
“I’ve got another job for you. How do you feel about going to Colorado with me?”
The following Friday, Lana was in the office late, packing up the last of her things. Jarrod had been gone all week, so it had been easier than she thought it would be to hand off her projects and to get organized to leave. This afternoon, she had left work right on time and gone to happy hour with several of her coworkers to say goodbye. This part, she thought, was harder than she’d expected. She genuinely liked the people she had met at Marshall Industries in the many months that she’d been there.
After a couple of cocktails, and after Lana had hugged everyone and promised to stay in touch, she pulled her coat around her and walked back to the office. She needed to finish up a few things and then she’d take her personal items to her car. Matthew was with his grandparents for the night, giving her the time and the space she needed to finish up here and finish up well. She was professional – nothing was going to be left hanging or undone if she could help it.
She was just finishing up a few last emails when she heard the sound of someone in the hallway, walking toward her office. She half-expected to see Grace coming back to help her, but when she looked up, Jarrod appeared in her doorway, still in a suit and tie and carrying his coat and briefcase.
“You’re still here,” he said quietly. “I’m glad.”
“I’m almost done,” she assured him.
“I’d like to talk with you before you go. If I wait for you in my office, will you come by when you’re done?”
Lana wavered. “I handed everything over to Grace today. She should be able to answer any of your questions.”
“This isn’t about work, Lana.”
When she hesitated, Jarrod held up one hand as if taking a pledge. “You can leave whenever you want to, Lana. I promise. And I won’t touch you without your permission. OK?”
She sighed. “OK,” she agreed softly. “I’ll be there in about half an hour.”
“Take your time.”
Thirty minutes later, Lana had turned off her computer, ensured that her files were in order, and placed her few personal things into a canvas bag to carry to her car. Looking around the office, she experienced a moment of melancholy. She had liked it here, she thought. This position, and her friends here, had kept her sane when she thought she was going crazy. She was thankful to Jarrod for that, she thought, and she’d make sure to tell him when she said goodbye.
Setting her purse and her bag in the seat of her chair, she turned and walked down the hall to Jarrod’s suite. The hallways were dark, but the light was on in his office. She took a deep breath, then knocked lightly on his door.
Jarrod’s head snapped up at the sound, his eyes flying to hers.
“You wanted to talk to me?” she asked quietly.
“Yeah. I do. Come on in, Lana. Have a seat,” he added, pointing to the chairs in front of his desk.
“All right.” Lana moved to the chair and sat down, crossing her legs formally in front of her.
Jarrod leaned back in his desk chair, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. He looked tired, Lana thought to herself. Tired and beaten down. But his eyes caught and held hers. Damn, she thought. She had missed him. This wasn’t good.
“Are you OK?” she finally asked. “Are you sure you don’t want to just go home and rest? It looks like it’s been a long week for you. Did you just get in?”
“Yes. I came right here from the airport. I was hoping to catch you here before you went home. I thought it might be more comfortable for you to talk here than if I just showed up at your place tonight.”
Lana looked at him quizzically. “Is something wrong?” she finally asked.
“No. Not really.” He took a deep breath, then leaned forward, his elbows on his desk. “I spent the last week in Colorado, Lana. With Errol.”
Lana blinked. “Why?”
“I wanted to learn more about my old friend, and I didn’t want to put you through an interrogation.”
“I see.”
“Lana, your life with Daniel was hell. I know that, and I believe that, and I believe you. I needed to know more about what happened to him, apart and separate from his marriage to you.”
Lana had absolutely no idea what to make of that. She sat and thought for a moment. This didn’t seem to be a trust issue for him. It seemed to be more an issue of a man making peace with what had happened to his friend. And she couldn’t fault him for that, even if she was pretty sure that this was going to be a damned uncomfortable conversation.
“OK,” she said at last. “What did you learn?”
“I talked with a lot of his old friends and coworkers. All of whom were extremely glad to know that you and Matt were safe and well, by the way. They hadn’t known what happened to you, or to Daniel.”
Lana nodded. “I couldn’t communicate with any of them when Matt and I left – I was afraid it would get back to Daniel. And after I found out he died… well, it was two years later, so I guess I just didn’t think of it.”
“A lot of them knew that Daniel was acting erratically and guessed that he might have a problem, but substance abuse was the more common conclusion – not mental illness.”
“That was his coping mechanism,” Lana said softly. “So yeah, people would see that symptom and assume it was the cause. You told them about his diagnosis?”
“I did. His condition wasn’t his fault, and I wanted people to know that.”
“Thank you.”
“I also found out a lot more about the hell you lived, Lana. The police and hospital reports barely scratch the surface, do they?” Without waiting for an answer, Jarrod continued. “I also found your next-door neighbors.”
Lana looked up at him in surprise. “Adam and Bella? They’re still there?”
“No, they moved about a year ago into a nicer area of town.”
“Oh good. I’m glad. That wasn’t a great neighborhood to have a family.”
“And yet, you lived there.”
“It was what we could afford.”
Jarrod leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. With Daniel’s funds, they could have afforded a hell of a lot better, and the thought of Matthew living in that part of town was chilling to him, and a stark reminder of the illness that had claimed his friend. The old Daniel – the pre-Iraq Daniel – would never have allowed his family to stay in that building.
“So Adam and Bella?” Lana prompted.
“When you left, they were really worried. They heard a lot more than you probably realized, and they were initially concerned that something had happened to you and Matt. But when they saw Daniel’s reaction to your flight, they knew he had nothing to do with it. And then he disappeared. And then there was the whole non-payment-of-rent thing, followed by your personal things ending up on a sidewalk.”
“Oh Lord. Well, I took the critical things. The rest was all donate-able.”
“Adam and Bella saw a box of papers, and they took it. They were worried that it might have personal or financial information in it.”
“Papers? They must have been Daniel’s. I didn’t leave anything behind.”
“They were. Adam and Bella never went through it – they kept it in case you came back. Even when they moved, the box went with them.”
“They gave it to you?”
“Yes.”
“What was in it?” Lana asked dubiously.
“Well, a whole hell of a lot of junk,” Jarrod admitted. “Scratch paper with odd diagrams. Musings that made no sense. Notes about what he was hearing at night.”
Lana’s eyes filled with tears. She hated that this is what her husband had become.
“There was one other thing,” Jarrod said softly. “Daniel left a journal.”
“A journal?”
“He wrote in it occasionally, maybe during his more lucid moments, because these entries mostly make sense.”
“I had no idea he kept a journal,” Lana admitted. “What did he write about?”
Jarrod pointed to a small brown leather journal on the corner of his desk. “I brought it back for you. He wrote some about the war, some about his thoughts on what was happening to him, and a lot about you. And Matt.”
Lana’s eyes skipped up from the journal to meet Jarrod’s gaze.
“He knew he was sick, Lana. A part of him knew that his brain wasn’t working right, and that part of him also knew how much he loved you.”
Lana just stared at Jarrod. She had questions she was afraid to ask.
“And Matt?”
Jarrod nodded. “Matt too.”
She stood up and approached his desk, reaching her hand out tentatively for the leather book.
“He wrote an entry after you left,” Jarrod told her quietly.
Picking up the book, she leafed through it carefully, as if it held the spirit of her dead ex-husband. His writing wasn’t consistent – on some pages, it was scratchy and hard to read. On others, it was clear. Swallowing, she turned to the last entry in the journal.
My brain isn’t working right. I hear voices, and when I turn around, nobody is there. Lana is gone too. She took my son and she left. I need to find her. The voices aren’t as loud when she’s here. I know we’re divorced. But I need her. I’ve needed her since I first saw her, way before we met.
I love her. I love Matthew. I miss Mom and Dad. I miss Jarrod. I’ve made a mess of things, but I’m doing what I can to protect everyone.
If Jarrod were here, he’d help me find her. He’d help me take care of her and Matt. But I need to do this on my own.
Lana, if you ever read this, I’m sorry. I love you.
Jarrod, if you ever read this, I’m sorry. I should have told you the truth. Take care of Lana.
Mom and Dad, if you ever read this, I’m sorry. I should have reached out to you. Take care of my son.
Matt, if you ever read this, I’m sorry. I was proud to be your father. Take care of your mother.
Lana sank onto the couch, tears streaming down her face. “Oh God. That poor man. What he went through.”
Jarrod stayed firmly behind his desk. As much as he wanted to hold her, he had made a promise.
“Do you know what he means by needing you since he first saw you?”
Lana shook her head. “No. The first time I saw him was the first day I met him.”
“I don’t know that we’ll ever have an answer to that, but I’ve been puzzled from the start that he and your sister shared a home town. That’s a bizarre coincidence.”
“You think he saw me here? But I never lived here. I only came here to visit Sam.”
“He moved to Colorado pretty immediately after he left the service. It surprised all of us, since he had no ties there. So yes, I suppose he could have seen you here, and followed you there.”
Lana was silent, taking in the possibility that Daniel might have been looking for her before she even knew he existed. It was sobering, she thought. How easily she had been targeted by the man she had thought she loved.
Jarrod’s low voice interrupted her thoughts. “He loved you, Lana, despite his illness.”
“Yes.”
“Are you still in love with him? With the Daniel you married?” He had to know if he was competing with a ghost – a ghost he would never be able to overcome in a relationship with Lana.
She shook her head slowly. “No. A part of me will always love who he was back then. Or who I thought he was, I guess. But I also remember very clearly who he became.” She looked up at Jarrod. “Do you have Adam and Bella’s address? I’d like to thank them for keeping this.”
“I have it. I’ll give it to you.”
Still clutching the journal, she was working hard on pulling herself together. It was some sense of closure, she thought. Some indication that she’d done her best, and that Daniel knew it. It would help, particularly when she talked with Matt about his Dad.
The last entry was clear, but still showed signs of his struggle with reality. He had no idea that Jarrod would eventually find her and lead her to his family. He had no idea that any of them would even meet, but he still wanted them to take care of each other. It was touching, and at the same time, incredibly hurtful.
Looking across the room at Jarrod, Lana allowed herself to feel, just for a moment. Jarrod was a good man. He had loved Daniel, and he had tried his best to do what was right by him and his son. She was still annoyed by his methods of bringing her here, but she was thankful to have Rachel and Frank in her life, and in Matthew’s life. She was getting her life under control, financially and emotionally, and that was thanks to this man as well.
She loved him, she realized. It was no longer something that was growing, it had already grown. Though their initial interactions were all about her ex-husband, they had developed a relationship that was theirs, and theirs alone. They were sharing a past and a present, and they were making memories together. The elephant in the room was no longer Daniel. It was trust. She had learned to trust him, and the Wests. She trusted them with her story. She trusted them with her son. She had grown to love all of them. Still, it didn’t go both ways, at least not with Jarrod.
She stood. “I’ll go finish packing and get out of here. Thank you for bringing this to me.”
“Are you upset that I went to Colorado? Without telling you?”
“No, not really. That was between you and the friend you lost. I understand that.”
Jarrod stood then, cautiously moving toward her as she waited by the couch. He stopped a foot away from her, his hands tucked into his pockets to keep from reaching for her.
Lana’s voice softened. “I’m glad you went to Colorado. I’m glad you got some sense of closure from talking to others about Daniel. I’m grateful to have his journal. But nothing has changed since we talked last week, Jarrod. We’ll be friends, for Matt’s sake. But we need to let the rest of this go.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You have to. Matt needs both of us.”
“I don’t mean that I can’t be your friend. I can be. But I want more than that.”
“Friends with partial benefits?” she said wryly, echoing back his words to him from their last conversation in this office.
For just a moment, Jarrod saw hurt flash in her eyes. He had done that, he realized. He had put that hurt there, through distrust and pure stupidity on his part. He had lashed out at her in frustration since he had first met her, and it had obviously cut her deeply. He needed to make this right. He needed for her to understand how much he cared for her. How much he had grown to love her. He shook his head firmly. “No. Friends and partners. Lovers.”
She steeled herself to hold tightly to her emotions. By lovers, he obviously meant sexual partners. While she knew that they had a blazing hot attraction between them, she also knew that a hot attraction wasn’t enough for her. She needed someone who loved her, trusted her, and wanted what was best for her.
“I need to go,” she said quietly, determined to maintain her dignity around this man, even if it meant running from this particular conversation. “It’s getting late.”
“Matt is with Rachel and Frank,” Jarrod reminded her.
“It doesn’t matter. This isn’t a conversation we should be having here, in your office.”
“Nobody is here, Lana. It’s 8:00 on a Friday night – they’re all out with friends or home with family. And as of 5:00 this afternoon, you no longer work for me.”
She let out a groan of frustration. “What do you want from me? Just tell me, and I’ll tell you if I can give it to you or not.”
While he badly wanted to tell her that he wanted her, and wanted her forever, he knew that he needed to tread lightly.
“You told me that your heart is involved. Is it?”
Her hesitation spoke volumes. “Does it really make a difference?” she asked softly.
“Of course it does.”
But she shook her head. “I don’t think it does. What I feel doesn’t change how you feel. And you’ve shown me pretty consistently that you’re not sure of me. I really am working on being OK with that. I know your feelings for me and Matt are all tied up in your friendship with Daniel. I guess what I’m trying to say, and badly, is that you don’t need to worry about me or my feelings, Jarrod. I don’t expect anything from you.”
He reached out then and ran the back of his fingers along her cheek. Her quick intake of breath made it clear that she was not immune to him, even as she pulled away immediately. “I know you don’t. You don’t expect anything from anyone. You’ve been on your own, running scared, for a long time. You’ve relied on yourself. I hope that you’ll know, one day, that you can rely on me too.”
Lana smiled then, a small sad smile. “Maybe. One day.”
He was still looking at her with those intense blue eyes. “You’re right, you know.”
“About what?”
“What you feel doesn’t change how I feel. But may I tell you how I feel?”
Lana looked up at him, a bit taken aback by the serious tone in Jarrod’s voice. He took a step closer to her.
“Lana, I am sure of you. I love you. I’ve loved you since I first saw you with your son and Daniel’s parents. I think I knew then that everything I’d heard about you was wrong. I fought it for a long time because it seemed disloyal to my best friend. But I couldn’t stop from falling harder every day. You’re everything I want in a woman, and I can’t imagine my life without you.”
Jarrod reached out and framed Lana’s face with his hands. “I’ll try to make up for how I’ve treated you. For the rest of our lives, if you’ll let me. I know you might not be ready to love another man yet, but do you think that someday you might be able to let me into your heart?”
Lana’s eyes filled with tears as she realized at last what Jarrod was saying to her. “You love me?”
“With all my heart.”
“What about trust?” she asked quietly.
“I’d trust you with my life, Lana,” Jarrod stated firmly. “I might still do bone-headed things that make you want to pummel me, but I trust you completely. No doubts.”
“And Matt?”
“I trust him too,” Jarrod said with a grin, but then answered her seriously. “I love Matt too, Lana. He’s already like a son to me.”
Still holding her face gently in his hands, he waited for her response.
Finally, she asked, “What about Daniel?”
Jarrod knew exactly what Lana was asking. “Daniel was my best friend, before he got sick. Until then, he was a good husband to you, and a good father to Matt. We’ll honor him together as a good man whose illness took him away from us. Lana, everything he said to me about you is gone. I discount all of it as the ramblings of a man who didn’t know what was happening to his world. The entries in his journal about you tell a much more truthful story.
“Remember how I told you once that Daniel and I never fell for the same woman? I was wrong. One time, back in high school, we both fell for the head of the cheerleading team. Daniel fell for her because she was beautiful. I fell for her because she was not only beautiful, but she was also captain of the debate team. She was smart. We liked the same woman, but we both liked her for different reasons.
“The thing is, this time I think we both fell for you for the same reason – you have the kindest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Yes, you’re beautiful, and yes, you’re smart, and you have the most amazing smile in the world. But it’s your spirit that drew me in. I think that’s what drew Daniel in too.
“If you don’t feel anything for me, I’ll leave you alone. I still want to hang out with your son, but we’ll do it carefully so he isn’t confused. But God, Lana, if you feel anything at all for me, please let me try to show you how much I love you.”
As Lana listened to what Jarrod was saying, her heart began to hope. Dropping Daniel’s journal onto the couch, she reached up, her hands gently encircling Jarrod’s as she smiled up at him through her tears. “I love you too. I have for so long. But I didn’t think you’d ever trust me.”
His own eyes suspiciously moist, Jarrod ran his thumb lightly over her mouth.
“Then you’ll marry me, Lana?”
She nodded, a sense of happiness overwhelming her. Jarrod pulled her close to him, holding her tightly and rocking her gently back and forth in his arms. When she leaned back and slid her arms around his neck, his mouth crushed down on hers in a kiss that was both tender and full of need. When he drew away to reach into his jacket pocket, Lana let out a light moan of protest.
“Come back,” she laughed.
Grinning, he pulled a small box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a lovely diamond ring. Set in a white gold band, the diamond was discretely nestled into the gold, making it both beautiful and practical. It was perfect for Lana, and she loved it on sight.
“You can turn down most of what I want to give you, Lana, but please accept this. I love you. I want you to wear it so that whenever you look down at it, you think of me. When I saw it at the jeweler’s, I knew right away that it was for you.”
She smiled through a new wave of tears. “It’s beautiful. Thank you. I’ll wear it happily.”
“Should we go celebrate alone, or do you want to go share the news with Matt and his grandparents?”
Lana started to laugh. “Both. But let’s go share first.”
Lana and Jarrod weren’t in the door for even a minute before Rachel honed in on Lana’s engagement ring. Of course, her honing had as much to do with the huge smiles on both of their faces, and the fact that they were holding hands when they walked into the living room, as it did with any sixth engagement sense.
“AHHH!” Rachel’s exclamation came without any words that made sense.
Jarrod laughed as he draped his arm around Lana’s shoulders. “Lana and I have decided to get married. If you all approve, of course.”
Rachel’s reaction was everything that Lana could hope for. Her eyes teared up, and she simply said, “I was hoping this would happen.”
Frank’s reaction was characteristically Frank. “It’s about time you saw sense, son. Congratulations to both of you.”
Matthew just jumped off the couch and ran to them, hugging their legs tightly.
“Does this mean I’ll have a Dad?”
Lana squatted down and pushed the hair from her son’s face. “Yes. Are you all right with this, Matt?” she asked as she hugged her son’s shoulders. He nodded vigorously, a huge smile on her face.
Lana felt Jarrod lightly squeeze her shoulders, and looked up to see a look of tenderness in his eyes as he watched Lana and Matthew together.
“I’ll take good care of you and your Mom,” he promised the little boy, reaching out his hand in an adult handshake, and laughing when Matt took it and shook it wildly.
“YAY!” Matt shouted, pulling away and dancing around the living room. “I’m glad we moved here. I never had a grandma and grandpa before. But now I have a whole new family. Maybe I can get a dog too!”
Lana laughed then. This was a typical five-year old, she thought. Not the scared shell of a boy that she had moved around with her for three years. This was a normal life for her son. And she would do anything to keep him from ever retreating into that shell again.
“Maybe,” she answered with a grin. “I guess now you’ll have to talk about that with Uncle Jarrod.”
Jarrod just looked at her with his eyebrows raised. She giggled.
“This wedding needs to be soon,” he told her laughingly.
“I’ll help,” Rachel declared immediately. “I love weddings.”
“I’m getting champagne,” Frank declared. “Jarrod, come help me find the glasses.”
Matthew declared that he would help too, and the men disappeared in the general direction of the kitchen, leaving Lana alone in the living room with Rachel.
“Rachel, are you sure you’re OK with this?” Lana asked. “I would never want you to think that I’m disrespecting your son by marrying Jarrod.”
Rachel reached out and took both of Lana’s hands in hers and looked up into her eyes.
“Lana, don’t ever think that. Daniel would have wanted you to be happy. He loved Jarrod like a brother, and if there is anyone in the world that he would trust you and Matthew to, it would be Jarrod. You know that he’s like a son to us. And you’re like a daughter. This is the best news any of us could have asked for. I’m so grateful to Jarrod that he brought you and Matthew to us, and so grateful to you for making Jarrod so happy. So yes, I’m more than OK with this. There is nothing you could have told me that would make me happier.” Rachel paused, then added with a twinkle in her eye, “Unless you’re pregnant. That would make me happier.”
Lana started to laugh, pulling the older woman into a hug. “Um. Not yet. But you’ll be one of the first to know if it happens.”
“If what happens?” Jarrod asked as he strolled into the room with a set of glasses balanced in his hands, followed by Matt and Frank with a bottle of champagne and a towel.
“Rachel is angling for more grandkids,” Lana grinned.
“You mean I might get a little brother? COOL!!!!”
“One celebration at a time,” Frank chuckled as he maneuvered the cork out of the bottle with a resounding pop. “But it sounds like I’d better start buying the bubbly in bulk.”