“Mommy, can we go to the park today?” Matthew asked Lana when she picked him up at his school that afternoon.
“Yup,” she answered with a grin. “We need to go home so we can change clothes first, though. OK?”
Her son gave her a big smile and slipped his hand into hers. Lana’s heart always melted when he did that, and she gave his hand a brief little squeeze.
Lana was determined to act normally in front of Matthew. She had stopped at a coffee shop and hopped onto the local Wi-Fi using a PVN on her iPad, and googled Daniel’s name. The obituary had been short but conclusive. Her husband had been killed in an auto accident, just as Jarrod had said. She would deal with the emotions behind that later, but for now, she needed to concentrate on her son. For the first time in his life, he was completely safe, but she didn’t want him to pick up on her feelings, since there was no way he could understand all of them at his age.
The one thing that she would need to do, she realized, was to let Matthew know that his father was dead. As he grew older, he had asked Lana about his Daddy a few times, and Lana had never known how to answer. Not wanting to deceive her son, but not wanting him to ever question her love for him, she had simply stated that Mommy and Daddy had gotten a divorce, and that she wasn’t sure where he was. It had been enough for a little boy, but Lana had dreaded the point when he began to ask more questions. But now it might be easier, she thought. Explaining that his father was dead would be a lot easier than explaining why they had to keep running away from him. How do you explain untreated mental illness to a five-year-old?
Back at home, Lana changed into a pair of blue jeans and an oversized faded green sweatshirt, then checked to see how Matthew was doing. He had put on his favorite play outfit, and was waiting for her in the living room. Lana quickly grabbed a couple of juice boxes, tossed them into a backpack along with Matthew’s mittens and a hat, and then told her son that she was ready.
Together, they walked the two blocks to Matthew’s favorite park. While Matt climbed around on the different pieces of wood and plastic that had been erected, Lana sat down on one of the benches and watched her son. He was a bundle of energy, she thought. Running from one place to another, talking easily to other children, and enjoying the cool sunny weather. He reminded her of Daniel in so many ways, she thought. He had all of his father’s good qualities, and none of the bad.
Leaning back against the bench, she thought back to her meeting with Jarrod, and what he’d told her about Daniel’s family. Until today, she had no idea that Matthew had living relatives on his father’s side, or that they lived in the same city as her sister. It was good, she thought, trying to find something positive to hold onto. Good that Matthew could be connected to his father, as long as his parents were kind people.
The fear that could have accompanied that thought did little more than bubble beneath the surface. While she didn't particularly trust Jarrod now, she could see that his employees treated him with respect and loyalty, and that meant that he was a good boss, and probably a good man. Hopefully, that meant that his relationship with Daniel’s parents was solid because they were good people as well. If not, well, she’d run away before. If anything triggered her fears, she could grab Matthew and run again. She ignored the tiny voice in the back of her brain that warned her that Jarrod might be really good at finding her.
Jarrod. What the hell was she going to do about him? She hated the feeling of being controlled and moved like a puppet, particularly when her motivations for coming here and taking this job were all about her son. The physical attraction that she felt for Jarrod was still there, but she needed to get that fully under control, tamping it down until it no longer existed as a factor in her relationship with the man. She needed to remember what it felt like to live with a man who didn’t trust her – that alone should keep her far away from her boss.
After three days of teleworking, Lana needed to go back to the Marshall building to check up on her accounts and to take care of some mail. She had already typed up a letter of resignation for her file, and was working hard to make sure that all of her work was in order before she left. It was time that she went into the office and actually put in some face time with her coworkers, and handed the letter of resignation directly to Grace, along with an explanation. She owed her that much.
She took Matthew to school, then headed into the office midmorning, hoping against hope that Jarrod would be in meetings, and she could take care of her business without running into him. Instinctively, she knew she couldn’t run forever, and she actually needed to talk with him about Daniel’s family, but a part of her wanted to avoid her soon-to-be-ex-boss for as long as she could.
She would send him an email, she decided, attaching her resignation and asking for his input on an end date. She would include a note asking for contact information for the Wests. And then she would start looking again for work. She had made enough contacts in this job that the move might be easy, if Jarrod did not prevent others from hiring her. She could always temp if she needed to as well. There would be many more possibilities available to her, now that she didn’t need to worry about Daniel finding her.
“Hi Sara,” she greeted the receptionist at the front desk in what she hoped was a cheerful manner.
“Lana, thank heavens. We were about to send out a search party. Mr. Marshall has been asking for you. I had better call up and tell him you’re on your way.”
Lana shook her head with resignation. “Don’t bother. I’ll just pop in and let Grace know that I’m here.”
So much for avoiding him, Lana thought as she exited the elevator on the fifth floor to find Jarrod Marshall personally waiting in the corridor for her. His eyes narrowed as they took in her appearance. Without saying a word, he took her arm and escorted her down the hallway to his office. Instructing a sympathetic-looking Grace to hold his calls, he led her in and closed the door behind them.
“Sit down,” he commanded softly.
“I think I’d rather stand.”
Jarrod eyed her shrewdly. “You look tired.”
Lana refused to engage. “I have my resignation letter ready. What should the effective date be?"
His response was firm. “There’s no reason for you to leave, Lana.”
“Mr. Marshall, we agreed that I need to resign. I can’t continue to work here.”
“We didn't agree to anything, Lana,” Jarrod responded softly. “We agreed to talk again, and then you disappeared.”
“I was working from home. Grace knew about it,” she added mildly.
“I don’t doubt you were working, Lana. I saw the results pretty regularly. You’re hard to keep up with,” he added with a kind smile, trying to set her at ease.
Lana looked over at him cautiously.
“I don’t want to lose you here, Lana,” Jarrod said mildly. “You do excellent work. Surprisingly excellent, given that I hired you for reasons other than your job skills.”
“Well thanks a whole hell of a lot,” Lana sputtered. “And you’d better not say that when others are around, or people will get the wrong idea.”
Jarrod surprised Lana by laughing. His whole face changed when he smiled, Lana thought to herself. He looked younger, more approachable, and infinitely kinder, and she almost smiled back at him in return, but caught herself in time.
“I’m glad you’re happy with my work, but I still need to resign,” Lana said softly, holding up a hand to stop him from interrupting her. “I have questions for you, and I’d like the chance to ask them, but they can wait. What I do need to know is how to contact Daniel’s family.”
“Why do you need that?”
“I assume that they’ll want to meet their grandson,” Lana responded.
“Is Daniel his father?” Jarrod asked baldly, watching for her reaction.
Her eyes met his, and he saw the hurt flash in them. “Yes.”
Still holding her gaze with his own, he said quietly, “You’re a beautiful woman, Lana.”
“So that means I was unfaithful to my husband?”
Jarrod leaned back against his desk and considered her reaction. She was defensive, but she had reason to be. Unfortunately, he had already decided to be honest with her about the things her husband had told him, so this conversation today was not going to be easy.
He shook his head slowly. “No. That was a reflection of my own attraction to you, Lana. I’m sorry if that muddies the waters a bit. But I asked you about Matthew because Daniel thought you were unfaithful.”
Lana’s face flushed, partly from Jarrod’s back-handed compliment, and partly from frustration at her now-dead ex-husband. She forced herself to look directly into Jarrod’s eyes as she resolutely ignored his first statement and concentrated on the second. “I never cheated on Daniel. What did he say to you?”
“The details aren’t important. But he was quite sure that you were seeing someone.”
Lana sighed. “Look. I was faithful to my husband. Matt is Daniel’s son. I’d like him to have a chance to know his Dad’s family.”
Jarrod nodded slowly, then pushed himself away from his desk and moved toward the couch in his office, waving his hand as an invitation for Lana to join him. “We should talk about your inheritance.”
With that, Lana sat down on one of the wing chairs, staring over at him with bewilderment. “Daniel and I are divorced, Mr. Marshall. Whether or not Daniel had money is not an issue. There is no question about inheritance here – I was not his wife when he died. I am raising my son just fine on my own,” she added. “I don’t want his money.”
Narrowing his eyes, Jarrod looked over at Lana. “You are Daniel’s widow. He did not have a will, so everything is legally yours.” He sat back, as if waiting for her response.
“Again, I was Daniel’s ex-wife. The money is not legally mine.”
“It may be Matthew’s. Are you going to turn down a chance to give him a better life?”
Lana leaned back and considered Jarrod’s question. “I think it would depend on how much we’re talking about, and what strings were attached to the money. Matt is a wonderful little boy. I’m not interested in disrupting his life to the point where he becomes someone different. If it’s money for college, then yes, I’d take it and put it into a trust for him so he can go to any school he wants to. If it means more toys than he can play with over the course of a year, or a reason to look down on others, then no. I don’t want it. Any of it.”
“Well that’s way more principled than I expected,” Jarrod observed after a moment of silence.
“I assume that Daniel told you that I was spending money faster than he made it?”
“Something like that. What I still can’t figure out is why.”
“Why what?”
“Why he would lie about all of this.”
Lana leaned back in her seat and looked up at the ceiling, thinking back to all the names that Daniel had called her when they were still together. If he repeated even half of them to his friend, Jarrod likely thought of her as the whore of Babylon.
“Lana, it would really be helpful to know your thoughts on all of this. So far, I haven’t heard a word from you about what happened between the two of you.”
But Lana just shook her head. She wasn’t ready to talk about it with someone who knew Daniel. She had loved him, long ago. In some strange way, she felt like she owed it to him to hold some of their life together back – his illness had not been his fault.
“Not yet. Maybe one day.”
The look Jarrod gave her was measured, but he seemed to understand what she was saying to him, and kindly changed the subject.
“I’ve told Rachel and Frank about you, and about Matthew. They obviously want to meet him, so I’ve arranged for you and Matthew to join them for dinner this weekend. I’ll be there too, of course.”
Lana sighed and responded sarcastically, “Of course.”
Still, while Lana was more than willing to let Matthew meet his grandparents, her job was to protect her son. “Tell me about them,” she asked quietly, her eyes piercing as she looked back over at Jarrod.
“Rachel and Frank?” Jarrod seemed surprised that she asked. “What do you want to know?”
Truthfully, Lana had no idea how to answer that. She wanted to know if they were the kind of grandparents that she could trust around her son. She wanted to know if there was a history of mental illness in their family, and if she needed to worry about Matthew someday. She wanted to know if they were good and kind people, or if they would make life hell for her. But she didn’t know how to ask any of that yet, not of this man. Finally, she just sat up, leaned forward, and shrugged. “Whatever you can tell me.”
Jarrod seemed to understand, on some level, that she was asking for her son. “They are good people, Lana. They deserve a chance to know their grandson.”
And just like that, she trusted him on this. She didn’t know why, but something in the way that he looked when he mentioned them was genuine. If they were good people, they did deserve a chance to know her son, and, more importantly, her son deserved a chance to know his father’s parents.
That decided, Lana looked up into Jarrod’s eyes. “All right. I agree with you. I’m OK with them meeting their grandson, but I can’t promise more than that yet. Not until I have a chance to see them myself.”
As he looked in her eyes, he saw a strong streak of integrity, and Jarrod realized at that moment that, physical attraction to her aside, her character was slowly drawing him in. She was very protective of her son. It was an appealing trait in his book.
“Fair enough. Though you do realize that they could take you to court and sue for visiting rights, if not outright custody, if they choose to?”
Lana swallowed her anger. When she spoke again, she kept her tone as even as she could. “That shouldn’t be an issue. I’m not planning to refuse them the right to see him, if they are as kind as you claim, Mr. Marshall. So there’s no reason to threaten me.”
“It’s not a threat, Lana. I just want you to realize that I’m quite serious about looking out for my friend’s family.”
“I see,” she said conversationally. “How well did you know Daniel?”
“We had each other’s backs in Iraq. We got to know each other very well.”
“And since you got back? Left the service?”
“We talked.”
“And he told you about me.” It was less a question than a statement.
“Yes.”
“You’re basing a hell of a lot on a few conversations with someone that you hadn’t seen since you left the service, Mr. Marshall.”
“It’s Jarrod.”
“Not here it’s not. You’re my boss. Which brings me to the question I asked earlier. Why did you hire me?”
“I wanted you here.”
“Here at Marshall Industries, or here in this city?”
“Both.”
“And you couldn’t have just asked me to come.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
When Jarrod didn’t answer, Lana sighed. “You wanted me under your thumb, didn’t you? You wanted my livelihood to depend on you. You wanted control.”
Surprised at her assessment of his actions, Jarrod shook his head. “You may be partially right,” he admitted. “Not about the control thing, but I wanted you here so I could get to know you a bit before I told Daniel’s parents about you. They’ve been through enough. I wanted to be sure that you weren’t going to be a problem for them.”
“A problem.”
“Yes.”
“In what way?”
Jarrod had the grace to look uncomfortable. “Look, Daniel may have been angry and distraught when he talked with me about you. I get the sense that he may have exaggerated the truth. You’re different from how he described you.”
“So you assumed that I’d show up one day, demand money, dump my kid off with his grandparents while I went on weeklong benders, and generally make a nuisance of myself?”
“Possibly,” Jarrod admitted cautiously.
“So your brilliant plan was to hire me? What if I’d brought my drug-addicted tendencies to the office and killed multi-million dollar deals just for the fun of it?”
“I figured that I could probably prevent the mass destruction of my company if I watched the finances carefully. And the drug-addiction thing would show itself here pretty quickly.”
Lana sighed. “Don’t take this the wrong way. Sir. But I’m not sure you really thought that one through.”
He grinned. “You may be right. Fortunately, your work is pretty damn good so far, and Grace hasn’t reported any drug paraphernalia in the women’s room.”
“Oh for the love of God.”
Jarrod laughed. “So getting back to Matthew’s grandparents…”
“Right. There will be a command performance to meet them, this weekend, under your direct supervision,” she said dryly. “If you could give me the day and time, as well as an address, I’d appreciate it.”
“I’ll pick you up.”
“I see. Is this a control thing again, or is this because you don’t want me to know how to find them again in the future?”
“Humor me.”
“You know,” she said conversationally, “the best thing for me to do right now is to tell you that I had a bunch of wild affairs, conceived Matthew with one of those other men, and then just disappear from all of your lives. This is getting way too complicated.”
“Complicated?”
“Let me spell this out for you, Mr. Marshall. Matthew and I have lived on the run for two years, afraid like hell of being found by my ex-husband. It sounds like you hadn’t seen him for a long time, but you should know that the Daniel I ended up married to had very little resemblance to the man you used to know.”
“Afraid of Daniel? He was one of the kindest, gentlest men I knew. I never figured out what drew him to the Marines.”
“I can’t answer that. I didn’t meet him until he left the service. He was kind and gentle when I first met him as well. He changed. Look, I don’t want to talk about this with you now. I’m happy to discuss it at length with Daniel’s parents, and if they want to tell you, that’s fine. But I don’t feel right telling you things that they may not be aware of.”
“Well, that’s convenient.”
Her glare matched his. “Leave it alone,” she snapped, then leaned back in her chair. The anger she was feeling seemed to dissipate as quickly as it came. “And I think this proves the point. It’s obvious why I need to resign, huh?” she said quietly.
“Because you disagree with me?” Jarrod seemed surprised.
“Because this kind of disagreement is not a great thing to have in your place of business.”
“We can take it to my place.”
Lana rolled her eyes. “Thanks, but no.” She hesitated for a moment before saying, “I want to ask you something, but I don’t want you to get mad.”
He raised his eyebrows. “That sounds ominous.”
“That’s because it’s about money. But not in the way you think.”
“What do I think?”
“That I’m looking for quick cash,” she answered with a sardonic smile. She didn’t understand any of this. Daniel had gone through both of their salaries, first in an attempt to self-medicate, and then in a flurry of activities designed to protect himself from ‘the men.’ So if he had money, why didn’t he go through all of it like he had gone through savings? Why hadn’t he touched that too? She had built up a mountain of debt on their credit cards, and Daniel had never mentioned these funds that Jarrod was now referring to.
“Was there any reason at all that Daniel couldn’t have gotten to this money that you’re talking about? Was it stipulated for his son, or his education, or a house, or anything like that?”
Jarrod looked puzzled by her question. “There were no stipulations to the money,” he answered, watching her closely.
Raising her eyes to meet Jarrod’s she said, “OK. Thanks.”
Jarrod looked at her closely. “That’s it?” he asked.
“That’s it.” When Jarrod didn’t respond, Lana rolled her eyes again. She rose from the chair, determined to answer this question once and for all, and then head back to her office to pack her things. “Look. I married Daniel because I loved him. Completely. I left him when I had no choice, and divorced him because it was the legally smart thing to do. We ran away to keep safe. That's it. There is nothing nefarious here. As I’ve told you, I honestly do not want Daniel’s money, if it exists. I do not need it. I’m providing for my son quite well without it. Now, is there anything else, or may I go clean out my desk?”
“Do you call being thousands of dollars in debt providing well for your son?”
Lana recoiled as if he had slapped her. It was true that she owed a lot of money, and it was true that it was owed on credit cards. She was working hard to pay off the high interest bills as quickly as she could. That didn’t mean that she’d let Matthew lack for anything that he needed.
“That’s none of your business,” she responded coldly, finally realizing that, while he kept saying that he was still coming to his own conclusions about her, his mind had really already been made up. He had placed Daniel on a pedestal, and had her pegged as a heartless woman who would do anything for money. He would never believe that the debt had been Daniel’s, not hers.
“Please sit back down, Lana.” Jarrod hadn’t meant his question about her debt to be so offensive, but clearly he hadn’t been thinking straight when he asked it. “I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
But Lana shook her head. She was angry, confused, and tired of being harassed. “I want out of this contract, Mr. Marshall. I’ll hand Grace my resignation letter today. You brought me here under false pretenses, so you obviously don't need me, and you certainly don’t need anyone working for you that you don’t trust. I'll let Matthew meet Daniel’s parents. If they are as nice as you say, I'll even let them develop their own relationship with Daniel’s son. But I do not want or need to be a part of all of this. You all want Matthew in your lives, not me.”
Jarrod stood up then and walked over to where Lana was standing. Her breathing quickened, but she stood her ground. “Don't touch me,” she said quietly, reading intent in his eyes.
Ignoring her, Jarrod reached out and touched her cheek, letting his fingers trace lightly over her skin, and then drop gently to her chin. He lifted her face to his, and his eyes met hers. “Don’t resign, Lana,” he said softly. “I know you think I’m a terrible person, and I probably am. But I’m just trying to do the right thing here.”
Lana instinctively pulled away, but Jarrod reached out and caught her by the arm. Lana looked pointedly down at his hand.
“Let go,” she said quietly.
Jarrod’s grip remained strong, while his other hand moved up to gently encircle her shoulder. He held her carefully in front of him, as if he expected her to struggle against him. But Lana just went instinctively still. She knew in her heart that this man was not Daniel, but all of her defenses from the last year of her marriage leapt into play, and she acted on pure reflex. When Daniel was mad at her, struggling had only made him more furious, and she had no desire to make this man in front of her angry. She hated being afraid, hated tempering her honest reactions, but there were some physical responses that she still couldn't reason away.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, repeating words that occasionally worked with Daniel.
“For what?” Jarrod asked, momentarily thrown off, looking down at her with a puzzled expression. It was then that her fear registered with Jarrod, and he released her immediately. A look of uncertainty flashed across his face, but it was replaced by the same steady look he usually had. He moved away from her to give her space.
“Lana, would you sit back down? Please?” he asked, not quite sure why her reaction to him bothered him so much. He needed her to know that she didn’t need to be physically afraid of him.
Lana watched as Jarrod moved away from her to the chair behind his desk before she slowly moved back to where she had been seated. Unconsciously, she rubbed her arms where he had gripped her. Jarrod noticed her movement, fearing that he had actually hurt her. When she saw him watching her, she deliberately moved her hands to her lap and waited until his gaze moved to her face.
Before his eyes, Jarrod watched with grudging respect as she pulled herself back together. With that respect came the realization that he did not want anyone to ever hurt her again. “First things first, Lana. I would never hurt you. I’ve told you that I’m attracted to you, but it stops there if you tell me it does. You don’t need to be afraid of me. I apologize if I came on too strong.”
He stopped then, waiting until she nodded slightly.
Relieved, he sat back in his chair. “Let’s back up a bit, then, and get this employment business out of the way. You are doing a good job here – far better than I had anticipated. You’re good at what you do, my staff loves you, and I’d like you to stay, at least for the time being. I understand your reluctance, but I’d like to answer your question and really explain why I brought you here in the first place.”
Lana didn’t react, just continued to look at him cautiously.
“Daniel’s mother and father are getting older. They barely saw him in the four years or so before you were married, and after they heard that you and Daniel had eloped, they badly wanted to meet you and to try to establish a relationship with you, and eventually with any children that came into the picture. They were understandably upset when you and he never visited, and also upset when you disappeared when they traveled to Colorado to visit you.
“With Daniel gone, and with his lack of a will to probate, I promised them that I’d try to find you. We all assumed that you were still married, and we had no idea that you and Daniel had a son. Now that we know these things, Rachel and Frank would very much like to meet both of you. They’d like to talk to you about Daniel, to hear a bit about how he spent his last years.”
Since Lana had no idea that Daniel had a family, Jarrod’s statement about their trip to Colorado had her confused, but since she had traveled frequently for work, it was likely that Daniel had orchestrated things so that she’d be gone. She still had no idea why he didn’t want her meeting his family, but at least her conscience was clear in that regard – she would have wanted to meet her in-laws if she’d known about them. Now, with Matt to consider, she was even more interested in getting to know them. Matt had grandparents, and she had to think that was a wonderful thing for him.
“I’ve arranged for you to meet Rachel and Frank on Saturday at their home. I’ll pick you and Matthew up and take you out there myself.”
“All of Matthew’s things are in my car,” Lana protested. “I’d rather drive separately.”
“It won’t be a problem to transfer his things into my car. We can have dinner on Friday night. That will give us a chance to talk about what Rachel and Frank do and do not know about your marriage to their son. I’ll pick you up on Friday at 6:00, if you can arrange childcare for Matthew. I have your address from your file. I assume that’s current?”
Lana sighed. She wanted so badly to tell him no, but it wasn’t in her or Matthew’s best interests. She knew that Sam and Nick would be happy to babysit Matthew for her that night, so she finally nodded reluctantly.
“Why are you so invested in this?” she asked, looking up at him in exasperation. “This isn’t your family – why do you care so much?”
“Daniel was my friend. He had my back in Iraq, even though he wasn’t cut out for the military life. I owed him, and I should have had his back, here in the States. I was too busy building my business. So now I’ll do what I can for his family, and for his son.”
“I assume his family doesn’t mean me,” Lana pointed out softly, but then took pity on the man. Jarrod was clearly feeling some sense of guilt over his past, so she let it go with a sigh and just nodded. “OK. Friday night will be fine.”
“We’ll meet Rachel and Frank in the late afternoon on Saturday, stay for dinner, and I’ll have you and Matthew home by 8:00 or so.”
Lana nodded. “That’s fine too.”
“Lana, Daniel’s family includes you. And Matthew. If you’ll let me help you, I will.”
Lana didn’t know how to respond, so she said nothing, her eyes troubled as she looked over at Jarrod.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, standing up slowly so he didn’t startle her.
She shook her head. She had no way to express the angst she was feeling about this whole situation, so she said nothing. “I should go back to work.”
“I’ll see you on Friday evening then.”
Jarrod moved to the door to pull it open for her while she stood and gathered her things. As she slipped by him, she knew that he was watching her, and that he still had no idea what to make of her. But that was OK, since she had no idea what to make of him either. Kind and thoughtful one moment, he was nothing but accusatory the next. His changing reactions to her made her head spin, and this was just in the office. She had no idea what an interaction outside of the office would look like, but she doubted it would be any easier. This weekend would be hard on her, she knew. Meeting Daniel’s parents would be stressful enough, without the added pressure of dealing with Jarrod.
Smiling ruefully at Grace on her way out, she headed straight for her office and turned on her computer. Maybe concentrating on work for a few hours would help her to forget about what awaited her this weekend, and help her remember that her dealings with her boss needed to stay on the professional side. They would be dining alone on Friday. That, combined with their incendiary mutual attraction, was a recipe for one hell of a disaster.