CHAPTER FIVE
“A friend of mine suggested this place,” Nico told me as we ate fresh seafood at a small, local place.
There were no tourists besides us. The place was filled with locals, just out enjoying their dinners alongside us. The restaurant was quaint, charming, and the food was to die for.
“He insisted it's the best seafood in the Pacific,” Nico said.
“I believe it,” I said, biting into the shrimp on my skewer. “It's delicious.”
He looked pleased as he poured me another glass of wine. “I'm glad you like it, Sophia. Only the best for you.”
The wine was already getting to my head a little bit, and I was tipsy, which wasn't a good thing, given how sexy I found Nico. Even worse was the sudden realization that I wanted him – badly. I was a virgin and inexperienced when it came to men, but I wasn't a shut in. I wasn't some silly girl with a silly notion about waiting for marriage. I knew about desire and sex. And I knew that someday, it would happen for me,when I found the time and the right guy.
And maybe, I finally had.
I sipped more of my wine and caught him staring at me again. This time I'd caught him gazing at the cleavage peeking out from my sundress. I'd specifically dressed somewhat sexy – or as sexy as I could, considering my wardrobe. The strappy sundress had seemed perfect for the occasion – and for enticing my date. Or so, I'd hoped.
“I don't get it, Nico,” I said.
“Get what, Sophia?”
“Why you're spoiling me like this,” I said, staring down at my plate. “I mean, don't get me wrong, I appreciate it and am having the most amazing time I've ever had in my entire life. But I don't think I deserve it. Not like you seem to think I do. I'm just a normal girl who works in a diner in the Central Valley of California. I'm a nobody. And surely you could have your pick of gorgeous women.”
Nico reached across the table and lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You're not a nobody, Sophia,” he said softly. “You're a sweet, kind, and gorgeous woman. Any man would be lucky to spend time with you. And I'm only treating you the way you deserve to be treated.”
His eyes – I couldn't get past the way he looked at me. I'd never felt special about myself until that moment. I felt as if Nico saw something in me that I'd never seen in myself. He looked at me as if I was the most beautiful woman on earth – and he almost had me believing it.
“You really think I'm gorgeous?” my face burning as I asked.
“Of course, I do. I'd have to be blind not to,” he said. “Your smile lights up a room, your eyes are deep and soulful and kind. The first time I walked into the diner, I thought you were a knockout. When you greeted me, I felt my knees go weak and I wished I was fifteen years younger so I could ask you out without you thinking I'm some old creep. ”
He stroked my cheek before letting go. It was such a soft, sweet touch and it put a flutter in my heart.
“I don’t think I could ever think of you that way. You're the most interesting man I've ever met,” I told him. “And I meet a lot of men working in the diner. Believe me, none of them have ever compared to you, Nico.”
“I'm almost old enough to be your father,” he laughed. “I'd say that qualifies me as old.”
“But you're not,” I said. “You're not as old as my father. And thank God, you're not him.”
My voice cracked when I mentioned my father, and Nico seemed to understand that something was wrong. He stared at me, waiting for me to say more, and when I didn't, he finally addressed the elephant in the room.
“Your father isn't very nice to you, is he?”
At first, I wasn't sure what to say. My father didn't hit me or abuse me, so I wouldn't say he was mean to me. But he didn't care for me. Didn't love me – not the way a father should.
“Sometimes,” I said, choking up, “Sometimes, I feel like I'm a burden to him. That if I'd never been born, my mother would still be alive and his life would be better for it. Sometimes, I even think he blames me for our money troubles even though it's his gambling addiction that is the real problem.”
I'd never said those words out loud – not to anyone. And although, there was a sense of relief, it was accompanied by a strong sense of guilt. Nico put down his fork and stared at me, a look of sadness in his eyes.
I continued. “I mean, that's why he was willing to pimp me out for some cash. What father does that?” I asked, tears welling in my eyes. “He didn't even know you. Thank God, you're not a rapist or a murderer, but he didn't know that at the time, did he? All he cared about was the money. And God knows, in a few months, he'll probably just gamble it all away again and we'll be back in the same spot.”
I let it all out over dinner, and once it was out there, I had to admit, it felt good. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders to finally tell someone.
“I don't want to sound arrogant, but I really am the only one who keeps that diner up and running,” I said. “My dad comes in when he wants. I have to call and beg the other employees to cover for him when he's too drunk to work the grills, and more often than not, I'm doing everything. And he just – sends me away. On a whim. For money. Who does that?”
As I spit it all out and unburdened my soul, I was full-out crying and attracting attention from nearby customers. People were staring at us, and I felt bad for ruining this dinner with Nico. I felt bad for laying this all out on him, and even worse for assuming he was a monster to begin with.
I stood up, preparing to excuse myself when Nico took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“I'm so sorry, Sophia,” he said. “I knew something wasn't right with how easily he agreed to my proposal. But I had no idea it was this bad for you. Had you not wanted to come, I would have –”
“No, stop that,” I said, walking over to him. He stood up and cupped my face in his hands. “Stop that. I'm so happy I came. This has been the best day of my life. And I really mean that. Nobody has ever showed me the kindness, compassion and consideration you have, Nico. And you have nothing – absolutely nothing – to be sorry about.”
Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the emotional moment we'd just shared. But I didn't stop myself from kissing him this. I stood on my tip-toes and pressed my lips to his. At first, he seemed shocked, like he might pull away, but after a moment, he pulled me to him and settled into the kiss, his tongue moving past my lips and dancing with mine.
Nico pulled back. “I'm sorry,” he said. “We shouldn't – I mean, I shouldn't –”
He excused himself and rushed toward the restroom, leaving me there alone with my tears and feelings of guilt and surprise. And the heartache of him rejecting me hurt more than anything in that moment.
I sat down at the table, feeling like a fool for pushing it, for kissing him. God knew I wanted to kiss him, but I shouldn't have done that.
Nico wasn't into me like that. He was better than that, and he deserved better than me. I'd been a fool for thinking otherwise.