Chapter 2
Diane
“How have you been?”
I took my usual seat across from Dr. Ventori as he lifted the clipboard but kept his stare on me. The middle aged, balding man gave off a calming sensation. The smile that appeared was something I found myself doing a lot lately, which I couldn’t stand. It wasn’t real.
“I’ve been great. Staying busy. I’ve been searching for jobs in the area.”
“I see.” He scribbled something down and I looked around the room. A bookcase stood in the corner with a round table and four chairs just in front of it. Finger paintings from some of the patient’s kids were taped to the wall by the billboard. I turned away, my stomach dropping, just as it did every time I came in here. Caylee used to love finger painting. Her Thanksgiving turkey had been on our fridge for over a year before I had the heart to take it down. Ronnie had her paint me a Valentine’s one full of hearts just to get me to exchange it.
“What sort of jobs have you been interested in applying for?”
Although I had done the monitored searches, my mind hadn’t been in it. “I’ve been looking into newspapers in the area. As I mentioned before, I used to be a writer. I figured I might be able to land a job reporting. The description sounded like something I could do.”
“Do you think you’ll be happy working in that field?”
Misty had prepared me for these questions, schooled me on what I needed to say if I wanted to get out. She’d been in almost six months, too much of a risk for them to let her go. But me, I’d only been here for three weeks and I’d be damned if I was going to stay as long as her.
“Working in the public would help me. I used to spend so much time by myself. I’ve learned that having people to talk to is important if I plan on getting better. And I’ve already come so far. I don’t expect that I’ll be cured from my depression overnight, but with the medication and the knowledge I’ve acquired while I’ve been here, I think I stand a good chance at finding happiness again. Especially, since I plan to continue my meetings. I’m not going to lie. I was in a very dark place before, but I’m better now.”
More writing and he looked up and smiled. “I truly hope you take advantage of this opportunity you’ve been given. I’d hate to see you in here again…or worse. You’ll need to go see Melanie, but I’ll start your discharge papers.” He stood. “I’ll write you a prescription. I suggest you pick it up and take it as prescribed.”
I was on my feet before I realized it. “Absolutely. Thank you, Dr. Ventori.” Yes, I’d pick up the pills, but there was no way I’d continue to take them. This medication-induced happiness I was forced to feel wasn’t going to work. Although I could feel myself generally feeling lighter on the inside, I knew it wasn’t real and I wanted to be in complete control of my mind. Wherever that took me.
My hand went out and I shook his. I didn’t wait to head to my room. I was already packed. All I would have to do is grab my bag and I could be out of here. Surely, the paperwork wouldn’t take long.
Misty rushed from the lobby area to begin following me down the hallway.
“What’s the word?”
I looked over, smiling, this one real. “I got it. I’m out of here.”
Her arms flew around me. From the awkward angle, we both almost fell to the side. “Are you going to do it? Are you going to him?”
My eyes cut over and I began walking again. “I’m not sure.”
The truth was, I didn’t need help to end my life. Not really. Then again, I’d failed all the other times. I was torn. I wanted to be alone. Wanted to do it in private. Perhaps if I went back home…
Just the thought of walking through that door made me feel sick. I wasn’t sure I could do it there.
“I’m going to, if I ever get out of here,” she went on. “I hear he monitors and makes sure you succeed. You could do it this time, Diane. You could see your little girl again.”
I slowed, feeling angry that she’d even had the nerve to mention Caylee out loud.
“Maybe, I will. I’m—”
“Are you having second thoughts?” she rushed in. “We talked about this. You told me that you really wanted to do this. If that’s true, there should be no question. Jump at this opportunity. He’ll take care of everything.”
Was I having second thoughts? No, it had to be the drugs they had me on. “Of course I’m not. There are just some things I have to do before I decide. Who is he? How do I know I can trust him?”
Warmth settled around my hand as she pulled me to a stop just outside my door.
“I heard about Master from a very reliable source. A friend I met at one of my meetings. She’d never lie to me. She went to him. Although Josie changed her mind at the end, she told me that it was the best thing for me to do if I was ever contemplating. I was stupid not listening to her. How do you think I ended up here?” She squeezed tighter. “Don’t think about it, Diane. If you want this, go to him.”
Her persistence and something behind her eyes had me nodding. As I watched her walk away, an unsettling feeling washed over me. Did I still want this? I knew I wanted to be with my family again, but right now? Today? What if it didn’t work? What if I was doomed to come back and spend another few months here? Or longer?
I pushed open the door and walked over, grabbing the small bag that belonged to me. It would work this time. There were ways. Poison? God, why did I have to be so afraid of guns? Maybe if I had him pull the trigger. Would he? It wouldn’t hurt to ask. After all, he didn’t mind monitoring the situation. Being a sick voyeur and a murderer were too different things, though.
Weight bumped into my back at the toss of the bag over my shoulder. The walk down the hallway became fuzzy and I could hardly recall waving to some of the people I’d met while I was here. Signing the discharge papers was just as disconnected. A part of me didn’t want to leave. I was safe here.
Tears welled in my eyes, but they didn’t fall. It was the pills. They wouldn’t even let me cry. I hated it. My head lowered, looking at the prescription I held. The writing was nothing but scribble. Yet, those curvy lines held the power to take over a person. It wouldn’t be me anymore.
I stuffed the paper in my bag and broke through the main entrance. The sky was a dark gray. Rain loomed ahead, but luckily, I wouldn’t have to walk in it. A cab sat at the end of the sidewalk and I headed for it.
“Mrs. Saxton.” A deep voice had my head turning. A man stood there, not much younger than myself. His light brown hair was combed to the side and he was wearing what looked to be an expensive business suit. The closer he came, the lighter his brown eyes appeared. His nose was thin and straight, offset by thick lips. I stood a little straighter, wondering if he was an official ready to march me back inside. “You’re Mrs. Saxton, correct?”
“I am. I’m sorry, who are you?”
“Jaime Livingston.” His hand outstretched and I shook it, still feeling uneasy. “I work for a man who is interested in meeting you. I’d like it very much if you’d allow me to give you a ride to go meet him.”
A laugh came from me and I took a step closer to the cab. “I don’t get in the car with strangers.”
“Excellent, because I wouldn’t want you to.” His arm looped around mine and began leading me to the dark sports car resting behind the cab.
“Wait a minute,” I said, breaking his hold. “You are the stranger, in case you missed that.”
From the edge of his mouth rising, I knew he was amused. “No, we’ve already been introduced. We’re not strangers anymore.” A hand slid into his pocket as he continued to stare at me, waiting. The cab honked and I took a few steps back.
“I have to go. I’m going to miss my ride.”
“Don’t you even want to know who sent me here for you?”
I paused. “Oh. Who?” Why hadn’t I thought to ask him that? Probably because I couldn’t really think at all.
“He calls himself Master. You’ve heard of him, yes?”
A powerful thud slammed against the inside of my chest, but died off just as quickly. Another side effect. “Oh,” I said again. This was it. Did I want to go? What if I denied the invitation and he wouldn’t take me after that? What if I then botched my suicide again and ended up back in this hospital?
His hand extended. “Will you ride with me to go see him? It shouldn’t take long. You’re conversation will be quick. He just wants to hear a yes or no from you in person. Nothing more.”
Still, I felt myself edging back. “I have some things to take care of. His address is in my bag. I’ll come to him when I finish.”
“Doesn’t work that way, Diane,” he said softly.
How did he know my name? To even come looking for me? All I had told Misty was that I’d think about it. Yet, here this Jaime was, waiting for me as if he’d gotten a call saying I had been released. Something I hadn’t even found out more than an hour ago.
“Come, Mrs. Saxton. If this isn’t what you want, you can tell him, turn away, and never look back. It’s that simple.”
My daughter flashed before my eyes. Her smile so big that it nearly took my breath away. My stomach felt twisted in knots and I nodded. “Hold on.” I walked over, shaking the entire time I dismissed the cab. With his departure, I couldn’t help but think I’d signed my own death warrant. Well, that’s exactly what I had done and I wasn’t sure what to think about it.
I slid into the fancy sports car, turning to stare out the window as he pulled from the circular driveway. The scenery blurred by, all the colors growing brighter the longer I stared. Rain sprinkled over the landscaped park that rested outside of the window, turning the leaves and grass a bright green. Parents struggled to collect their kids, ones who seemed ecstatic to be in the drizzle. A grin came to my face, only to melt away. Soon, Caylee, and then that will be us again.
The city of Portland disappeared until we were heading more toward Washington and into the mountains. The drive was long, but I barely noticed until the driver spoke.
“I was told you lost your husband and daughter.”
I glanced in his direction. “By who? How did you even know I was getting out or who I was?”
“Master knows everything.”
“Who calls themselves Master? What exactly is this?”
A side road came up ahead and he took it, leading us further into elevation and trees. Fear began to creep in as much as it could against my numbed self.
“This is what you wanted.” He paused. “And you’ll see why he calls himself that soon enough.”
An opening appeared, revealing a house in the distance, way atop a mountain. The mansion, for some reason, made me want to flee. To run for my life. There was nothing inviting about the dark color, or the gothic feel it gave off. Who even knew this existed way out here in fucking nowhere?
My hand gripped the door and I swallowed past a sudden spark of anxiety. “Am I going to die right now? When I get there?”
He looked over, his eyes narrowing the slightest amount. “Do you want to die right now?”
A part of me did. A big part. But the hesitation was there, too. “I…” the dark iron gate grew closer as we weaved up the road. “Can I do it alone? Inside? He can just make sure I’m gone for good?”
The driver let out a deep breath, his knuckles turning white, confusing me even more. “It’ll be up to Master on what he decides to let you do. Can I ask you a question, Diane?”
My eyes flicked to him, but I went back to staring at the gigantic house that was growing bigger by the second. It almost gave off the impression of a living thing. How many people had died under that roof? “Yes,” I said breathlessly.
“If you could do one good thing before you died, what would it be?”
I turned to him again, thrown off by his question. Maybe I had expected something more personal, queries about my daughter or husband, but charity? My mind scrambled for an answer. “Truthfully, I have no idea.” Which was horrible. I should have been able to think of something.
“Maybe you’ll figure it out.”
The large gate rolled open at our approach and I leaned forward, looking up to the big M that was centered at the top. It had to be over fifteen feet high.
“Diane.”
The way he spoke my name had me forgetting all about the tall shrubs blocking off the bottom of the shuttered windows.
“Yes, Mr. Livingston?”
“Jaime,” he corrected, pulling in front of the door. “I just want you to know that everything is going to be alright. You might not think so at first, but you coming here is probably the best thing you could have done.”
I grabbed my bag and swung the door open. Double doors, just as black as the stone the home was made out of, greeted us. As I was led up the steps, I clutched the strap even tighter. There was no reason for fear. If I decided this wasn’t right for me, I’d say so and leave. Then, it’d be back to me taking care of it myself. Alone.
Jaime turned the knob and walked in. Weight increased against my feet with each step that I took inside the large entrance. My footsteps all but stopped as I spotted a man standing at the top of a loft area, his hands on the rail, staring down at us. To say he was handsome was an understatement. He was one of the most gorgeous men I had ever seen. I expected an older gentleman. One who was, perhaps, close to death himself. Master wasn’t much older than me. His short dark hair was neatly trimmed and there was a slight growth on his face. The dark circles under his all too knowing eyes told me he hadn’t slept very well, if at all.
“Mrs. Saxton.”
Just like Jaime, he was a wearing a suit. It both fit the power they expelled, but made me nervous, just the same. As he made his way down the wide, wooden steps, they no longer appeared as grand as they had before. His tall frame was wide at the shoulders, slim at the waist, and he dominated everything he came into contact with. It intrigued me just as much as it scared the hell out of me.
“You can call me Master. While you’re here, I will call you slave. There’s a reason for this, but before we go into detail, I’d like to go over some things. After I finish, you’ll be able to ask me any questions you may have.”
Jaime stepped backed, nodded, and turned, heading for the door. My mouth opened as he reached up and punched numbers into the keypad.
“Wait.” My word was ignored as he opened the front door.
“You’ll be fine, Diane. Remember what I said.”
And just like that, he slipped out. Seconds passed while I stared at the entrance, bewildered. A loud click had me jumping. Automatic door locks.
“Come, let’s take a seat.”
He began to walk toward an open living area when I turned and headed for the door, trying to turn the handle.
“It’s locked.” I pulled at it harder. “Why did he lock us in?”
“Because he knows the routine. Now, come, Diane. We have lots to discuss.”
My bag fell to the floor as I headed for the keypad. “I changed my mind. I want to leave. This isn’t right. I don’t like it.”
He stood there, leaned against the arch as I began to punch in random numbers. None of which worked.
“Please. He said if I wanted to leave, I could. Unlock this.”
“I will not set you free. Jaime lied to you. You’re not going anywhere. Not until I say.” A gun was pulled from the inside of his jacket and I froze as he lifted his hand, aiming it right at my chest. “Let’s skip all the rules. You want to die. Yes?”
My back pushed against the wall as he walked sideways to come stand a few feet in front of me. “All you have to do is come kneel before me, slave. Rest at my feet and I’ll take all of your worries away. It’s what you want. To see your daughter and husband again. I can make that happen.” He licked his lips. “So, what are you waiting for?”
It was true, I had wanted to die, but not like this. Fuzziness took over and for some reason, I took a step. Wait…I had wanted to die like this. Hadn’t I thought maybe if he was the one who pulled the trigger? Another step. The third. Like a zombie, I walked toward him until I was sinking to his feet.
Yes. I wanted to go home.
“Look at me, slave.”
My head titled back, but I didn’t see a man standing before me, or the barrel of the gun inches from my eyes. All I saw was Caylee. Ronnie. Then, pain, as it blazed across my cheek from his slap.
“No, you look right here. See your end.” His handprint throbbed against my face. The hammer was pulled back and tears slid down my cheeks. I didn’t want to witness the process, just what happened afterward. Now, I wasn’t being given a choice.
“Any last words?”
Words? I couldn’t think, let alone spit out some speech. There was only one thing that came to me in what I knew to be my last moments. “Send me home, please,” I whispered.
A twitch jerked at the side of his eye and I watched his finger pull back on the trigger slowly. My pulse exploded, thrumming against my chest as it got so far back and then... click, click, click. Nothing. No shot. No blast or agony from a wound.
“Stupid. Stupid, woman.” The gun went sliding across the floor with his toss and I screamed as his fingers embedded in the back of my hair. “Stand up,” he yelled, ripping me to my feet. “You’re so quick to die. You want to go home?”
I screamed, grabbing his wrist as he pulled me up the stairs and deeper into the eerie house. My feet kept stumbling, but he continued moving forward, never letting me gather my footing. Had I been able to, I would have been fighting him better. All I managed was clawing my nails into his suit-covered arm.
“Not even a flinch from you,” he said, giving me a quick shake. The words were ground under his breath as we went down a wooden hallway. No pictures. No decoration. Just dark mahogany flooring and walls.
A door swung open and I wanted to scream as I was pulled inside. To tear my way past him and hurl myself out of a window if I couldn’t make it out the way I came in. But that was impossible. From what I’d seen as we were driving up, they were sealed shut with metal shutters.
“Welcome home, Diane.”
And it couldn’t have been closer to the truth. From the beige carpet, to the bed, to the furnishings, and matching ceiling fan. I groaned at the strange mix of terror and horror. My blood turned cold and I couldn’t breathe.
“What have you done?” I moved back, not caring about the pain from my hair anymore. I couldn’t be in here. Couldn’t face what I had spent months running away from.
“This will be your new living quarters while you’re here. Which, with what I just saw, is probably going to be for a very long time.”
I didn’t think. I put everything into the kick aimed between his legs, but he had been waiting. Prepared. Faster than I could process, he slammed me to the floor.
“I knew you’d fight.” Weight settled on top of me and I could feel my eyes grow wide as he pinned my arms over my head and forced himself between my thighs. I thrashed, screaming, trying to buck him off.
“This is kidnapping. You can’t do this.” Still, I fought, trying to break his hold on my wrists.
“No. You’re dead,” he growled. “At least you want to be, so who cares what happens to you from here on out. As long as the result’s the same, right?”
Another scream broke free, every fear imaginable pouring over me as I struggled to get loose. Would he rape me? Beat me? Torture me? I’d wanted to die, not suffer. I’d done enough of that already.
“Get off of me!” Burning enflamed my throat at the force of my yell.
My hands were brought together as he managed to get them in one of his. With the other, he ripped open my shirt, sending buttons flying in all directions. I froze and met his eyes, the effects of the pills softening the terror my mind should have comprehended. Regardless, my body knew. Trembling took over every inch. Even my jaw was shaking, as if I were cold.
“There you are,” he whispered, squeezing my breast through my bra. “Do you feel that, slave?” His hand moved, reaching into the pocket of his pants. He brought out a knife, snapping his wrist to cause the blade to slide out. “Real fear.” My chest rose and fell at the uneven breaths. “This is how you should have reacted when I put that gun to your head.”
A cry escaped me as he lowered the tip between my cleavage and began to trace down.
“I’m not afraid to die,” I said, staring into his eyes. “But I don’t have to get there raped and cut up.” I tried my best to sink into the carpet, to get further away from the knife. I wasn’t successful. Stinging next to my left breast had me sucking in air. The small wound could have been a million times deeper considering the panic that registered.
“Rape…” his mouth twisted, “I suppose I could rape you, since you’re technically a no one right now.”
The blade tugged at the thin material between my breasts.
“Truth is, slave, I’m not going to rape you. At least, not right now. First, you’re going to watch a little movie I have set up, just for you.” The knife folded and went back into his pocket. He lifted, but held onto my arms as he began dragging me along the carpet. My legs scrambled apart and dug in, trying to find footing.
“Up you go.”
The power behind his grip was crushing as his fingers bit into my forearms. He hauled me to my feet and I didn’t wait for another opportunity. The moment his hands left me, I reared my fist back and caught the edge of his chin. It was quickly followed by my flat stomping down against the top of his shoe. A grunt escaped him as my next punch landed in his stomach. I spun around, sprinting for the door. His arms wrapped around my waist to halt my momentum and he turned, stalking over and slamming me on the mattress. Again, his weight pushed into me while he locked my wrists in handcuffs wrapped around the bars of the headboard.
“You have a hell of swing, slave. I have to say, I’m impressed.”
“Fuck you. Who do you think you are? You better let me go right now,” I screamed, pulling against the cuffs. Slowly, he lifted from the bed.
“You’re not going anywhere.” A TV directly on the wall from the bed came on as he clicked the remote he’d grabbed from the dresser. “You want death so bad, you’re going to watch it. I hope you have a strong stomach. Guns, knife wounds, razor blades. Each of these people were successful in their attempts to end their life. If you’re going to kill yourself, you’re going to see what happens to your body after you’re gone. Someone has to clean up the mess you leave behind. You’re not going to be irresponsible enough to go out without knowing what you’re leaving behind.”
My mouth parted and I tried to turn to the side. I couldn’t watch that. Couldn’t see dead people. I’d seen enough dead children in the hospital where I worked after college.
“Oh no.” He grabbed my foot, somehow having moved already to the side of the bed. A strap came out and he buckled the cuff around my ankle as I tried kicking at him. The other was placed just as fast and I was effectively tied down.
“I don’t want to watch this.” Begging laced my words. A silent plea for him to make this stop. The look he gave me was hard. Unmoving. He pushed the button, a bedroom coming into focus on the screen. My eyes squeezed shut, covering me in darkness, but I couldn’t ignore the words as a man began to talk. The volume increased even as the bed shifted.
“Open your eyes, slave.” The threat was there, but I ignored it, forcing my lids closed even tighter. The click that followed from the blade of the knife didn’t even bring me back to the room. “For every time you disobey my command, you’ll lose an article of clothing.”
The subject appears to have died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. As you can see, the blood splatter against the pillows and wall suggests he had his head tilted back, like so, as he pulled the trigger.
A sob escaped me as the clasp on my slacks was unbuttoned and the zipper slowly tugged down. I tried moving my hips to the side to get away from him pulling them off further, but the restraints on my legs were tight, not allowing me much room to work with. The sound of fabric shredding under the blade pushed me into the shakes again. I could feel his hand and the pressure of where he was holding the material up just short of my pussy.
“Such pretty panties for someone who has nothing to live for. Do you always dress so nicely?”
I didn’t have to see what he was referring to. The white silk with a faded rose print had been beautiful when I’d seen them the first time. If I ever splurged on anything, it was intimates. But since Ronnie was gone, I hadn’t given my collection much thought.
“You’ve gone far enough. Turn off the TV and let me go.”
Air brushed against my thigh as he worked the knife down.
“Open your eyes. The panties are next, then the shirt, the matching bra…”
I couldn’t bear the thought of being nude in front of him. No one had ever seen me that way except my husband. Slowly, I lifted my lids. My slacks were cut down to my shin. With one swift pull, he severed the leg section completely.
“Good girl. Now watch the movie as I do the other side. If you look away or close your eyes again, I’ll move right to the panties and won’t stop until you have nothing else left to cut off. If that’s the case, you’re not going to like what comes next.”
A tear escaped and I almost couldn’t believe my emotions had finally broken through the medication. With the single drop, came more. And more. Until I was blinded by a mass of blurring colors of old blood, a very graphic wound to the back of the head, and bugs buzzing around them in a dark cloud.
“I’m going to be sick,” I barely got out through the deep intake of breath. Seeing everything in detail, I could almost smell the rotting stench of death.
“No one’s stopping you. Keep watching.”
My pants were completely off now and he was lying next to me on the bed, propped up on his elbow as if we were lounging in bed as a couple, watching the nightly news before we went to sleep. Like Ronnie and me used to do. Although, I wasn’t restrained then. Or being forced to watch crime scene footage, or whatever it was I was viewing.
“Do you enjoy this?” My head didn’t turn toward him. I stared ahead, feeling myself beginning to go numb. I was good at that. If I just kept staring at the wall on the screen, or the upper most corner, I could deal.
Fingers gripped both sides of my chin as he turned my face to his. “Do you enjoy this, Master?” he said through clenched teeth. “Always refer to me as such. If you don’t, this right here will be nothing compared to what will come.”
It didn’t make sense to me why he’d want to be addressed that way. A power trip? It’d explain why he was doing what he was. But regardless of what he showed me, I couldn’t bend to him. I wouldn’t die knowing I’d been weak by anyone’s standards but my own. “You’re not my master. You’re my kidnapper.”
A malicious smile pulled at the side of his lips. Slowly, he leaned forward, the tip of the knife pointing at me.
“What are you doing?” I tried easing my shoulders away as he neared, but I didn’t move but maybe an inch or two. He didn’t speak a word as he inserted the blade under the thin fabric just below my cleavage. The flat of the knife came to rest over my breastbone and he lifted the material, slicing through. A whimper escaped as my breasts fell free and heat scorched my cheeks. Next were the straps, and then, he started with my silk shirt. My small sounds turned to something between a growl and groan. I hated him in that moment. And I couldn’t remember ever feeling so strongly toward a person.
“You know…” He yanked the material free from my body, leaving me completely bare except for my panties. “Sometimes in life, we’re given obstacles. Tests, even. Some can handle them. Others cannot. You appear stronger to me than someone who’s ready to quit on life.”
The knife traced over my breast and around my hard nipple, puckered from the cool air, down to my ribs. The sharp caress left me in a strange place inside. I feared the implications of the weapon, but at the same time, it wasn’t hurting me. It tickled in an inviting manner. I hadn’t been touched in so long, it felt weird to like something so wrong. What erased all sense of pleasure was the fact that it was him doing it.
“I’m not quitting, I’m just finished,” I said, moving my hips to get further away from the path he was tracing. “There’s a difference, whether you want to see it or not. I’ve lived my life. Had a great family. They’re gone and I want to go be with them. That’s not giving up. That’s just finalizing what I have so I can move forward.”
The blade lifted and his head tilted. “You really believe that, slave?”
“Of course I do. There’s nothing left here for me. My life is done. I’ve lived what I was meant to. Now it’s over and so am I.”
“Who’s to say there’s not a new chapter waiting for you? Not to replace the first, but to expand on what you’ve known?”
My head shook. “I don’t want a new chapter. I want my life to end on this one. It was perfect.” Tears came to my eyes again. “They were perfect.”
“They’re gone now,” he said softly, “but you’re not. If you were meant to die too, you all would have been taken together. Or, the first time you tried to commit suicide.” His finger traced down the raw red mark on my wrist. “Or here.” The deep blue of his eyes lightened, sympathy beginning to etch into his handsome features. That emotion was bizarre considering what he had been forcing me to watch and doing to me. “You’re alive, Diane, and I think it’s meant to stay that way.”
As if his words were acid to my insides, I felt my aching heart melt, but not in a good way. “No!” Tears ran down my face as I whipped my head back and forth, going wild. I refused to believe I had to live another day without them, not to mention possibly decades to come. “It ends now,” I screamed. “Do it. Take that knife and get to fucking work, or leave me to it.”
“You don’t deserve death. Not yet.” The emotion he’d had on his face was gone, replaced with anger. The sapphire gaze now nearly onyx. A tug against one side of my panties made me sway and I fought against the handcuffs as he moved over and sliced through the other. With a jerk, he pulled them free, tossing them to the floor with my other ruined clothing. “Humiliation has the power to break some. Do you think it’ll break you, slave?”
I spit in his face, not caring about the consequences anymore. “Fuck you and your humiliation. Is that what you’re trying to do? Because I have news for you, no one has the power to break me.”
With a leisurely wipe, he removed my saliva, never breaking his stare. “Challenge accepted.” He rose from the bed, increasing the volume even more. The woman on the screen was lying in a bathtub full of blood, one of her arms dangling over the edge. The emptiness in her face had me turning away. That look, those hollow eyes, were going to haunt my dreams. I’d never seen anyone dead from killing themselves before. These victims on the screen…it truly scared me more than I could have ever imagined. So soulless. So…empty.
The closet opened and he stepped in, only to return with a box that I knew all too well. My head rose and turned away, more as a response to flee. But I wasn’t going anywhere. Couldn’t, thanks to him.
“I hope you don’t mind. I had my people take a tour of your lovely home and they found these in the closet. It shouldn’t bother you if I go through them.”
Cautiously, I looked back. “Don’t,” I whispered. The desperation in the one word was enough to make his eyebrow raise.
“Too bad. I haven’t gotten the chance to really take a good look. Only a glimpse. I’m dying to relive pieces of your life. I have a few other things in the closet too. We’ll get to those eventually. Right now, I think it’s time we take a trip down memory lane.”
He left the movie blaring as he climbed back up next to me. I turned away, again, as he took the lid off. Fingers gripped my face, bringing me back to look in his direction. He didn’t let go as he picked up the first picture. It was one of Caylee when she was two months old. Ronnie was holding her propped up close to his face as he smiled big at the camera.
“Look at them, Diane.” He moved it in closer. “Do you think they’d like to see you hurting yourself?” The picture was held up for a few seconds before it dropped and he reached in, grabbing another. One of me standing with Caylee in front of her school on the first day of Pre-Kindergarten. The last grade she ever made it to. “Look at her, slave! Look at that beautiful smile. The way she’s clinging to your hand because she knows of the separation that’s coming. But even in this picture, I can see she’s brave. I bet she didn’t so much as shed a tear at your parting.”
I screamed, jerking against him as agony shredded my insides. For the life of me, I couldn’t close my eyes no matter how much I wanted. He was right. She hadn’t cried or clung to me like some of the other children. But now, unlike before, I could see the nervousness in her smile. It broke my heart.
The picture dropped and more flashed before me. Halloween, Christmas, movie night. Even one of the three of us taken outside of The Grand Canyon. A trip Ronnie had surprised us with.
“Do they like what they see?” His yell vibrated my insides with the growl embedded in the end. The angrier he became, the more I could feel the person I’d been before Ronnie and Caylee brush along the surface. Back then, I’d been hardened by what fate had handed me. But when I got with them, I softened, thinking I had finally received my happy ending. I was wrong. It made the fight within me spark even more. A growing ember in the darkness that engulfed me. Slowly, it was flickering to life, smoldering my core in the deep, dark recesses I’d buried it in, like a living monster ready to incinerate its prey. Master would become that meal I yearned to take a bite out of. He’d get more than he’d bargained for with me. I’d make sure of it.
By some miracle, I was able to lower my lids and calm my breathing while I thought over his question. “Do they like what they see?” When I opened my eyes, I let the hate I had over my life pour out with my words. “I’ll find out soon enough.”