Chapter 8
Diane
Whack!
Fire flared across my back as I pushed my palms harder into the wall. My eyes closed, the pain inside easing, the external agony filling the hole that rested in my chest. Two weeks in and I still hadn’t learned a damn thing. At least, not according to my Master. I was nothing more than a spoiled child, he’d said. A disgrace to every sub that ever walked the earth and took pride in their role.
I had no idea what he meant, but I was starting to understand him a little better than I had when I first arrived. There was such beauty in his brutality. Grace in the way he could make the leather either caress my skin or have it tear into my flesh. Master said he knew what I needed more than I did and he couldn’t have ordered me to the wall at a better time.
Watching my family every day was becoming easier, but with it, I missed them even more. The longing had me pushing my tray away after he sat it before me. Food was a privilege. He’d stressed that more than once. And I’d quickly found his meaning when he denied me everything but shredded pieces of bread and small glasses of water. It lasted for almost two days before I was given a decent meal.
It wouldn’t have been a big deal, had I not been made to work out continuously that day. The grueling exercises left me famished and I’d been expecting something hearty after all the work I’d put in. My lack of kneeling when he entered the room had quickly changed that.
Whack!
“Are you seriously gone from this room right now?” Pressure pushed into my back as his body trapped me against the wall. “What did I tell you about that?”
“I’m sorry, Master,” I gritted out. Still, the formal term didn’t come easily.
“Five more for your disrespect. When I punish you, you’re damn well going to feel it to the full capacity.”
He stepped back and my body locked up at the next strike. The one that followed was just as powerful. A sob fell from my mouth, regardless that the tingling was still there. I couldn’t think past the way I enjoyed the absence of emptiness. Here, I thrived. It was a mystery to me how one type of pain could ease another, but I didn’t even care to try to figure it out. It was what it was and I needed the temporary release of despair.
Whack! Fire stung down my thigh and I felt my sex draw up for the millionth time since I had discovered this was going to happen. And it wasn’t like fucking was nonstop on my mind since the one time between me and Master. The side effect of what I enjoyed was just there. It came with the territory and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
“Spread your legs wider and arch your hips.”
I felt him move toward me more than I heard him. The hesitation had his palm pushing into my already slightly arched back and the spanking had me crying out in surprise.
“I think I gave you an order.” Harder, he pushed, until I was sure I couldn’t arch any more. To argue was on the tip of my tongue, but I kept quiet, curious to see what he was going to do to hurt me next. If I argued, I knew the result and it was best to avoid that as much as possible. Even if I did secretly want a repeat.
“There. Now, don’t move.”
Footsteps sounded in the distance and the door closed behind him. I knew to keep still. He’d be watching from his room, regardless of what he was doing.
A deep breath left me. Not much longer. Maybe two weeks, at the most, if we went by the timeline he’d set at the beginning. Then, I could go home. Back to my family. A frown began to edge in. I knew I still wanted to die, but that spark I’d tried to ignore was growing. Getting bigger inside of me, leaving me with more questions. Ones my Master and Jaime had planted in my head. What would the next forty years hold if I stayed alive? If I could do something good, what would it be?
The door reopening had me blinking the thoughts away.
“Good girl.” It was so quiet, whispered under his breath, but I couldn’t deny the jump in my pulse. The sound of that triggered something. Happiness? Was that what it was? No. Something more. Deeper.
A ball attached to leather was lowered over my eyes and shoved into my mouth before I could react. My body jerked defensively and I tried to wheel around. My shoulder crashed into the wall at his stepping in. “What the fuck did I tell you? Hold still.”
The battle in my mind left me frozen as he began fastening it around my head. No. I didn’t like this. The flogger or crop I could do, but something in my mouth, taking away my power to speak… I wasn’t comfortable with that.
My shoulders jolted again, but it was too late. It was already fastened. I reached back with my free hand, only to have him grab it and move me back in position on the wall. Sounds came from my mouth as I turned and shook my head at him.
“You don’t like it? Too fucking bad. You’re my slave and you do whatever the hell I want. Right now, that’s for you to be gagged. Keep it up and I’ll hogtie you while I have my way with your body.”
I blinked, repeatedly, wetness coating my inner thighs even more. Slowly, I turned, placing my hands back on the wall. If I couldn’t speak, he’d be reliant on my body language. Something about the trust that entailed turned me on.
“What’s the matter? Tempted?”
Stinging flared over my ass as a paddle connected. I breathed in deeply through my nose, trying to ignore his words and the lack of control I had over my mouth.
“Arch those hips, slave,” he said, his voice lowering in pitch.
Whack!
Tears burned my eyes at the pain. The next had them spilling over.
“Such an amazing ass. I do love seeing it.” Fingers traced over my heated flesh and I closed my eyes, trying not to let my emotions take over. He wanted me to react violently from what he was doing. And he was so close to getting me to. The need to turn around and attack him was there. Fuck. It was all too enticing. The consequences were clear. I wanted them, but I also wanted to move this process along. To be good, so I could let him finally end this once and for all.
His touch moved down until he was caressing over one of my folds. I flinched, trying to hold myself completely still. As he brushed over my clit and used two fingers to rub the sensitive bud, I leaned my head on the wall, squeezing my lids shut. Pleasure shot straight to my core and a sound vibrated the ball in my mouth. Was I drooling? I was. Fuck, I was getting turned on even more.
“Have you missed me?” he said, stepping closer, dragging his fingers back and sliding them in me, stretching me wide. I pushed to my toes, forcing my head more into the wall. “God, I’ve missed your pussy. I want it, slave. To taste every inch until you’re coming all over my tongue. Let me. Nod your head and grant your Master permission.”
Was he asking? Why? I couldn’t willingly admit that it was okay. It wasn’t. None of this was.
My head shook, but I kept looking down at my feet.
The thrusting increased and I could feel myself starting to build. Guilt had me spinning to the far side, only to be caught by one of his arms. Still, he was inside of me, moving his digits, getting me closer as he held me molded to his chest. Kicking my legs or thrashing was pointless. It only made the desire more intense.
“You know what I like. Why don’t we take trip to the basement where I can introduce you to your new life? I think you’ve earned it.”
Basement? If I had thought things couldn’t get any closer to a horror movie, going underground sure was icing on the fucking cake. My blood turned cold as I tried to breathe.
“Actually, I have something that might be fun.” He spun for his room, rotating me to where he was carrying me, hanging along his side like a ragdoll. My hand grabbed at his slacks as he swept through the adjoining door and reached just past the entrance to the top of his closet. The collar and leash he pulled down had my eyes widened. What the fuck— Was he planning on putting that around me?
I didn’t have to wait for my answer. I was set down on my feet and pushed to kneel.
“You try to move while I put this on, you’ll suffer worse than you ever have.”
The pain didn’t frighten me. The look in his eyes did. It was a mix of hunger, yet something a lot more sinister. Evil. Basement. Shit, I didn’t want to go. I didn’t trust what was on his mind.
Tightening gripped around my neck briefly as he fastened the thick collar. The tug he gave sent me falling forward. As our eyes connected and the inside of me retreated, sinking down toward my toes, trying its best to pass through the floor.
“Crawl.”
Another tug.
My whole body felt heavy through the terror that left me shaking. Something wasn’t right. I could feel it in my bones. A miracle had me moving forward. Each step leading me to some unknown nightmare that waited ahead.
Cold from the wooden floor of the hallway didn’t stop my palms from slipping on the sweat that was starting to take over. Again, I glanced up, meeting my Master’s narrowed blue eyes. But there was nothing inviting about them. In their depths, held a beast. A living thing that was separate from the person he projected on the outside.
The stairs rested ahead and I jumped at him, pulling up the collar. “Stand.”
I didn’t want to. I wanted to run. To flee for my life. Which was ironic.
Slowly, I rose to my feet and followed him down the stairs. As we rounded the corner and came to a white, wooden door off the kitchen, I felt my feet trying to plant. The pitch black that greeted us as he opened the door left me trembling even worse. He took a few steps down, pulling a rope that had a light swinging back and forth. The house was expensive. There was no need for the old fashioned set-up, which meant he’d given the effect intentionally.
“Come.” The jerk had me pulling back. I could see the enjoyment spark on his face, the edge of his lips pulling back on one side while he watched me squirm. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid, slave. Not the woman who flirts with death at every opportunity.”
I made a sound, only causing more drool to run down my chin. Damn the ballgag. Again, he tugged, pulling me to the first step. For him to see my fear wasn’t good. But I didn’t want to walk openly into a situation that would seriously injure me either.
Shadows bounced around the walls as he hit the light, causing it to swing more.
Another step.
“I can’t wait for you to see your new room. You’re going to love it.”
My room? No. I didn’t want to stay here. The musky smell was a black mold accident waiting to happen. But, was that really it, or just the fragrance of a fucking basement? I needed to get my head in the game. I was stronger than this. He wouldn’t really hurt me. He wouldn’t…would he?
I followed as he led me deeper into the darkness. Ice cold seeped into the bottom of my feet at the cement floor. A chill raced up my back as objects began to take shape.
“What do you think so far? Do you like it?” He removed the collar and his arm came around my shoulder while he led me deeper into the room, more forcing me forward. The jerky movement of him reaching over to flip a switch on the wall had me stumbling. But I didn’t fall. His grip had only increased.
Lights strobed and shadows of what looked like jagged, claw-like braches intertwined across the walls. I stepped back against his arm, only causing him to pull me in closer until he was standing behind me with his arms wrapped under my breasts tightly.
“I want to fuck you down here, slave.”
A tray in the far corner caught my attention and I slammed back into him at the sight of the surgical tools and different sized saws that rested on top. The restraint around my body was suddenly too much. Pretending I wasn’t afraid was out of the window. I screamed, pushing from the balls of my feet to break his hold.
“What’s the matter? You don’t like that thought?”
My feet left the ground as he picked me up and headed for a large arrangement placed more in the back. Everything appeared to be moving from the strobe lights. Especially the branches. Terror had my legs kicking with every ounce of strength I held. By some miracle, I connected with his thigh, making him pause.
“There’s my girl,” he said, nipping at my neck. “You’re going to get fucked so good.” One of his arms lowered and his hand cupped my pussy, rubbing in circles as he came to stand before what I vaguely recognized as stocks. There was a place for a head and arms to go through and even ones right above the floor for feet. I twisted, knowing if I got put in there, it was all over. If he wanted to finish by sawing me to pieces, I was powerless to stop him.
“Mmm mmm”. I put everything into letting him know I wanted the ball gag out so I could speak. All I got was a graze of his teeth as he continued to rub over my clit. For minutes, he didn’t let go. I stayed stuck to his chest as he pulled me from the reality of the darkness around me, right into the same surroundings in my head. An ease blanketed over my uncertainty, a mask sliding into place as I convinced myself that the objects further in the room were nothing but a prop. They probably weren’t even real. And even if they were, he wouldn’t hurt me with them.
“You’re thinking!” His hand lifted from my pussy and the gag fell out as he unclasped it. I licked my lips, opening and closing my aching jaw. “You’re not allowed to think when I’m touching you.”
“I want out of here,” I breathed out. “Take me back to the room, please.” I wiggled, trying to get him to put me down. A laugh echoed behind me.
“But, slave, this is your room.” He lowered me, trying to place my feet in the stocks. I drew my knees up, separating them as he tried to force them down. A growl next to my ear left goose bumps racing down my arms and legs.
“Fine. You don’t want to go in there, we’ll try something even better.” My hair swung across my face at his quick turn and I reached back, trying to push back at him. Anything to cause a distraction so I could get loose. There were so many objects along the sides and I was afraid of every single one. Maybe it was the room, the eeriness of the dark shadows and strobe light. All I knew was what my instincts told me, and that was to run.
We passed a large X, making our way to what looked to be a bench with an arched back. I didn’t miss the cuffs at the ends. He meant to lay me over the back. I knew it.
Masks, gags, paddles, floggers of different colors and length, crops with different ends, all lined the wall. More things I couldn’t even begin to understand were also present and those scared me the most.
“Don’t do this. Please. I want to leave.” Tears threatened as I continued to swing my arms and legs. It didn’t seem to affect him in the least as he threw me into the bench and covered my body with his, fighting to secure me into the cuffs. I jerked at them, screaming. But it didn’t seem to matter. Nothing I did swayed whatever was on his mind.
He walked over to grab a role of duct tape and pulled off a few inches at a time, tearing them to stick to his finger.
“You want to leave…what?” His eyes cut over to me, waiting. There it was again. My inner self was cowering back at that stare.
“Take me out of here, Master. Do this is my room. Not here.”
“The difference in room shouldn’t matter, slave. Familiarity is above you.”
My breath caught at his words. With each step toward me, the light distorted him, leaving him approaching in contorted, unnatural movements. Monster. Yes, that’s what he reminded me of here. Like a demon, with his black eyes and an evil smile.
The tape was secured over my lips and I sobbed as he began placing each piece diagonally over the main one.
“Believe it or not, you look gorgeous in this element. Scared. Crying. Begging me with your eyes to save you. Do you see the irony, slave?” He lowered, kissing the tape across my mouth. “The Master you fear is the savior you seek. I’m not sure which one I want to be.”
My muffled plea was ignored, cementing his answer as he picked up what looked to be a small remote and pushed a button. Music blasted through the space. Lyrics so dark had my face turning toward the cool leather of the chair. I’d feared him before, but the man I was starting to know was getting scarier by the day. Had I felt sorry for him? It was possible. Somehow, the sympathy had disappeared between the flashes of light. Stolen to some unknown place that held the secrets of horror that no doubt happened in this room.
My whole body jumped at the touch to my shoulder. Yelling raged in the background and I searched for the strength I knew was there somewhere deep within me.
“Are you praying? Asking forgiveness for your sins?” Fingers eased back the hair resting on the side of my face. “Maybe this is just a dream for both of us and we’ll wake up not remembering the things we wish to forget. Hell, maybe the wounds we hold will heal and the bleeding will finally stop. For now, we suffer.” His touch moved to my taped lips. “Are you ready to hurt some more?”
Did he mean the same pain I experienced in my room or was he talking about a new kind? One that involved cutting and sawing me apart?
The slap to my ass had my eyes opening. His face was only inches from mine. The monster was temporarily gone, replaced with what looked to be a man full of curiosity, lust….yearning, for something I couldn’t understand. His hand slid under my cheek, lifting my head. Hesitantly, he leaned forward, once again pushing his lips gently against the tape covering mine. My eyes searched his as he pulled back, but he closed himself off so fast, I was left searching for answers. And back to being with his evil side.
He turned, grabbing the crop that stood closest to us. The fear didn’t dissipated while I lowered my head to lie back down.
Butterflies fluttered around my stomach as I tried to grasp the enigma of my Master. Who was he? I didn’t understand his constant change in personality. Was it an act? Was any of it the real him? Maybe all of it? Pieces strewn apart from a lifetime of tragedy that even I didn’t comprehend? Or was he just sick? Too many questions pushed in, mixed with the uncertainty of whether he’d truly hurt me. Even though I feared it, I couldn’t stop the need to find out.