Chapter 12
Master
Why the fuck had I thought last night had changed anything? Diane didn’t want me. Not really. All she saw was a savage. Some fucked up man who’d kidnapped her and kept her a captive in this huge house where she had no say or control over anything. Yet, I’d somehow deluded myself into thinking I could suddenly show her my other side. That she was ready to experience what else I could give her. Fuck, I was so wrong. The only thing the woman wanted from me was a Goddamn bullet.
I stomped up the stairs and swept past my door, walking to the closet to rip out some clothes. With every jerk of the material, I somehow managed to get the damn thing on. The tie dangled from my hand and I threw it down to the bed with every ounce of strength I possessed. My chest ached as if I’d handed her a knife and let her stab the blade right through the one thing I hadn’t felt stir since I’d lost my own family. How could I have been so stupid? The question kept repeating, over and over. I had to fix this. Had to go back to the plan I’d initially implemented. This wasn’t about me or what I wanted. This was about what was best for her.
I paused, letting everything sink in. My keys were in my hand before I could finalize my thoughts. The pounding of my feet down the stairs were barely heard with how lost I’d become. The door to the room that held my testing tray opened and I walked in, grabbing the bottle of pills and taking a darker red one out of a secret bottle I kept locked away. There was only one way to know for sure how far gone my slave was. It was time to test her.
Rattling from the prescription bottle shook in my hand. I clutched the other pill in my fist as I headed for the basement. My stomach was churning while I made the descent into the dim room. Diane lifted her head. I could tell she was afraid. She pushed with her feet, making herself go into a semi-sitting position against the headboard. The moment she spotted what I had, her eyes jerked to mine.
“We’re finished.” I walked to the small countertop and poured a glass of water. Walking it over, I placed it on the bedside table. A ragged breath left her as she fought against the restraints.
“What do you mean, we’re finished? You said I had to earn death.”
I pulled the cuff free and she moved higher on the bed. “You’re a lost cause, Diane. Now take off the other cuff.”
Her eyebrows drew in, hurt. I wasn’t sure if it was from the general statement or the fact that I addressed her by her name. There was hesitation, but she reached over and slowly undid the buckle. Her hands were trembling while she moved them to her lap. I didn’t linger or let her adjust to what was happening. The lid to the bottle fell on the silk sheets and I took out four pills, mixing them with the one I had hidden.
“Two of these will kill you. All five ensures you don’t suffer.” I left them in my opened palm, waiting. Looking down, I could barely detect the one I’d slipped in.
“What if it doesn’t work?” She wouldn’t even look at what I held. I felt a small spark of hope blossom while she stared into my eyes. If she wouldn’t acknowledge what I had, maybe that meant she really didn’t want to die.
“It’ll work.”
Her tongue darted over her lips and she swallowed hard, but still, she didn’t turn away from me. “Can’t you just shoot me?”
Shoot her. If her ass wasn’t already bruised to hell and back, I would have put her over my knee for asking that question. As it was, all I could do was grit my teeth through the anger. “You want me to do your dirty work?” I laughed, sarcastically. “No. If you want to kill yourself, you’ll take these.”
Diane eyed me wearily. I could see the battle that played across her features and knew I was winning. Regardless of what she did, this moment belonged to me. She wasn’t anywhere near as desperate to walk away from this life as she had been before. A small step, but one, nonetheless.
“Five seconds.” I kept my face straight while she glanced down at the red capsules in my hand for the first time. “Four. Three. Two—”
She swiped them from my palm and I didn’t even try to stop her.
“Why are you doing this?” Her hand clenched around them tightly. I didn’t miss the tears welling in her eyes or the crack in her voice followed by a slight tremble in her bottom lip. “Why do you like to witness death? Why torture me or anyone for all this time if this was the way things end? Why!” She yelled the last word, not giving me time to say anything. Weight crashed into my chest while she pushed me down to the bed, shoving the pills in her mouth. I didn’t fight. Didn’t even try to catch myself.
Diane reached for the water, swallowing a big gulp, but her hand stayed between my pecs. I knew she didn’t trust me not to react.
“I hate you,” she sobbed, putting back the water. “I hate what you’ve done. You’ve ruined everything.” The crying only got worse and the hit that slammed into my chest was followed by another, and more, until minutes passed and she was sagging from the continual blows. I took each one, letting her process what she thought was going to come.
“How have I ruined everything?” I deflected the next swing, pulling her into my lap as I sat up. She tried to hit me again, but I held on tight, growling when she kicked out her legs. My warning made her go still. “Answer the question, slave.”
“You just did. You screwed with my head. You made me—”
The crying became harder and I couldn’t stop myself from turning her more into my body. She fit so perfect in my arms while I cradled her. I wanted to keep her there forever. Never let her go free. “Death will come for you soon, slave. Are you happy?”
Diane tensed in my arms. Her head shook as a heartbreaking plea slipped free. “Oh God.” She flew forward, flailing with enough strength to give me surprise.
“Let me go,” she said breathlessly. “I’m going to be sick.”
Sick? I let go, ready to chase after her if I needed to. She rushed to the sink, shoving her finger down her throat and becoming ill. My eyes closed while hope swelled deep within.
“Oh God. Is it too late?” She sniffled, turning on the water and drinking some down, trying to make herself sick, again.
“I’m not sure. It might be. Come, let me hold you.”
Panic left her jerky and wild while she stared over at me. “I’m not going anywhere near you. I’m trying not to die right now, if you can’t tell. Besides, if I live, I don’t want to be near you, I want to go home. Home!” she yelled.
“Answer the question. How did I ruin you?” I stepped closer, watching everything I’d built between us disappear before my very eyes.
“No. Stop acting like you care. You don’t! Did you just want to see how far you could push me before I snapped? Or maybe you just wanted to see how much I’d let you carve up my body before you finally let me kill myself.” That last sentence told me only one thing. She blamed me for providing her the way out. The more she went on, the tougher it became to understand her. She was crying so hard, her body was shaking violently.
I walked forward while she edged more down the wall. Her eyes searched the space and she sprinted toward the tray of surgical tools. Before she got more than a few steps, I had her in my arms, spinning her back to the bed. Nails reached back, trying to claw at my face. I slammed her on the mattress, gripping her wrists hard while I secured her underneath me.
“Get off of me! I never want you to touch me again.”
“You lie,” I hissed. “You want me. You want this. That’s why you’re so upset.”
Back and forth, she tossed her head. “No. Never! What I want is to disappear from here. To go home.”
“You are home, slave. I’ll never let you leave if you live. You belong to me now. It says so right across your lower stomach.”
Still, she shook her head. “I don’t want to stay with you. I never want to see you again.”
“Maybe you won’t have to. Maybe the pills will kill you. How do you feel?”
Diane stilled, blinking repeatedly while she looked toward the ceiling. I could see the realization of the situation register on her face. “I don’t know. I’m…getting tired.” Her eyes came back to me, so full of terror that it almost made me feel sorry for her. “I’m dying. No,” she squeezed out. “What did you give me?”
“What does it matter if it gets the job done? You did want to die, slave.” I left my tone neutral. I wanted her to feel fear. To believe that she was truly leaving the only life she’d ever have.
With a kick of her leg, she tried to turn, but with my weight on her, she couldn’t really move. Especially since the sleeping pill she took was starting to take effect. “I didn’t get everything out. God, I’m not ready to die. You have to let me up. I need to be sick again.”
My grip loosened, tracing down her forearms until I came to cup her face. “Are you sure you want to do that? You could die right now. This is your big chance. You’re more than halfway there. All you have to do is sleep.”
Tears spilled over while she closed her eyes. Silence lasted for well over a minute. “You’re right. I have to stop being afraid. I have to do this. There’s nothing left for me.”
And just like that, the hope I’d let myself bask in faded at her response. She didn’t view me as being something she could invest a future in, and it wasn’t like I could blame her. But she was wrong and I couldn’t stop the words from slipping free. Luckily, it didn’t appear as if she’d heard them.
I lifted, pulling her more into the middle of the bed. As I began placing her hands back in the restraints, she only half fought.
“What are you doing? I don’t want to die in cuffs. Let me go.” The demand was slurred and her lids were already lowering, each blink appearing harder than the last.
Slowly, I lowered to lie on my side, covering half of her body with mine. My lips pressed into hers, barely brushing the softness. She didn’t even jerk away. “I’m going to miss you, Diane. Will you miss me?” I kissed her again, trailing my thumb down her jawline. I wasn’t sure why I was asking. My mind was gone from anything but her. God…what had she done to me? My heart was quickly becoming hers and it was a recipe for disaster. Had I not hurt enough all these years?
“I...” Her head turned more into my chest and I used my fingers to bring her back to me. The steady slaps against her face caused enough pain to have her forcing her eyes back open.
“Answer me, Diane. Will you miss anything about what we’ve shared?” I flexed my jaw while I awaited her response. Regardless of what she said, she’d hate me when she woke up. Not only because she thought she was dying, but because of what I had planned.
“I…” her face drew in, as if she were trying to cry. A single tear slipped free and she sniffled. I tapped against her cheek, again, trying to pull her from the brinks of sleep.
“Come on, baby,” I said under my breath. “Talk to me.”
I needed to have her speak when she was most inclined to tell me the upmost truth. Here, she’d spill what I knew she’d be too proud to say out loud.
“Slave,” I growled. “Wake the fuck up.” My hand slid under her head, lifting to bring her closer. The pain with the new round of slaps had her lids opening the smallest amount.
“Answer. What do you feel for me? Anything?” I spoke fast, trying to give her more time to answer. Her leg jerked and she was already leaving me.
“Master,” she whispered.
One word was all I got before she grew silent. My fingers slid into the hair on both sides of her head as I pulled her forehead up to connect with mine. I exhaled deeply, holding on tighter.
Master. Yes, I’m your Master. But little do you know, death doesn’t come for you, today. Hell does await you when you awake, though.