Chapter 20
Master
Worry had me watching Diane like a hawk. We ate lunch in silence; me on one end of the table, her at the other. She wouldn’t look at me. Would barely speak. Her stability was shot to shit, thanks to me. I hated myself for going as far as I had with her in the car. I stopped it the only way I knew how: by speaking out my plans and ruining her want of me. The damn truth and the expression on her face was going to haunt my fucking dreams. I didn’t truly want her to go. If I didn’t feel like I had a responsibility to help others, I would have gladly made her mine. Fuck, I wanted her so bad that it was making me sick. But, if my planned worked…
“What a gloomy pair you two make.”
I’d vaguely heard the alarm, but seeing Jaime in person only made my heart sink further. Diane stayed quiet, staring down and picking at the grilled chicken with her fork.
“Okay.” He let the word drag out as he pulled out a chair and sat down between us. “You both want to clue me in on what the hell is going on? I’m starting to get a little uncomfortable here.”
I took a drink, finally turning my attention to him. “It’s time for Diane to leave. She’ll head back to Portland with you.”
“Already?” The surprise in his tone had me looking from him to her.
“It’s time.”
A nod was his only response as he turned toward her. “I’d be glad to have you in my home. You have no reason to be afraid.”
Her head snapped up, anger present, only to fade while she looked at him. “I’m going home, Jaime. I don’t need to be looked after anymore.” As her gaze return to her food, Jaime turned to me, his eyebrow raising. I gave him a quick shake, telling him I didn’t intend for her to go home.
“Sounds like a plan to me. I’ll drop you off whenever you’re ready to go.”
“No time like the present.” She pushed from the chair, not even looking at me as she left the room. The sound of her footsteps faded and I looked back at Jaime.
“You get those locks in place?”
“Sure did. How long do you want me to keep her?”
I swallowed hard, not liking this decision in the least. Did I trust her at Jaime’s? Did I trust him with her?
“Give it two weeks of her behaving. You don’t have to go to the extreme that I did, but if you feel the need, do it. Under no circumstance is she to run you over. None. Do you understand?”
A smile pulled at his mouth and I gripped the fork tighter.
“Loud and clear. Don’t worry, Master. I’ll take care of her.”
“Appropriately,” I growled. “Hands to yourself. Do not touch her sexually or so help me, I might have saved your life once, but I’ll end it just as fast.”
“Jesus,” he said, eying me warily. “You love her. I get it.”
My teeth clenched together and I grabbed my glass again, refusing to continue.
“I never thought I’d see the day, Master. Why are you letting her leave, if that’s the case?”
Annoyed, I looked over at him. “Is it not clear? I can’t keep her and continue to help other people. She…would make it impossible. It would spell trouble.”
“So, why don’t you stop? You’ve already helped so many people, maybe it’s time to call it quits.”
“What I do isn’t something I can walk away from, Jaime. People randomly show up at my door. Am I supposed to just turn them away? I don’t think so. That’s blood on my hands and I refuse to have more than I already do.”
I stood, grabbing my keys. It may have only been lunchtime, but it was never too early for Scotch. And I sure as hell needed some.
“Master, I have to ask this. Given the circumstances, I think I have a right to know.” Jaime leaned against the bar as I reached in, grabbing the bottle. “Have the two of you…I mean, how bad off is she going to be? Does she feel for you the way you feel for her? Have the two of you connected on more than just a physical level?”
I poured the glass almost to the top, downing it all in one drink. “Yes to everything, except the feelings part. I can’t answer that question. All I know is a compliant slave who wants to continue what we have going on. Whether that’s love or need for comfort after going so long without it, I’m not sure. Just…” My hand gripped to the bar like a fucking anchor. I was needing a lot of those lately. Diane had me drifting in a sea of uncertainty. Who the hell was I now? She’d changed me. Or at least, messed with my wiring. My head was a mess with nothing but my addiction to her. Fuck if I couldn’t get enough of her body or the way I let her devour my darkest fantasies. Or…the dream of a future I thought was long gone.
“Take care of her,” I rushed out. “Like…she’s your sister. Not anything else. Sister,” I stressed.
“I don’t have a sister. How about a dear friend?”
I nodded, pouring the glass full again. “Friend will work. But be a firm one. Keep her in line. Don’t let her get her hands on anything sharp for the first two weeks. Or at least until you know she’s okay. After that, she can leave if she wishes. But I want to know where she’s staying, what she’s driving, even where she’s working. I want every single detail. She’ll need to be checked on often. I’ll keep tabs with Rachel.”
“Hey.” Jaime’s hand came to rest on my shoulder. “Slow down. I’ve got this. I know what to do. It’s like this with every slave. I’ll make sure to keep an extra close watch on her. You have nothing to worry about. Diane will be safe. You’ll see.”
My head shook even as I took a drink. The possessive part of me was ready to fly up those stairs and force her. Tell her I was a fucking idiot and she wasn’t leaving anywhere ever again. Why wasn’t I doing that? Because I couldn’t. Not unless some miracle worked in my favor.
Footsteps had me clutching the glass even harder. I waited for it to shatter and shower me with Scotch. Maybe even cut me. Yes…I deserved to spill blood for her. I’d done it once before in the heat of our passion. If it would ease any pain she’d experienced at my hand, I’d let her do it again. As much as she wanted.
“I’m ready.” She held the bag she’d come here with. I sighed as Jaime and I walked closer to the entrance, toward the front door. I couldn’t stop the trembling from adrenaline. Shit, was I really doing this? Letting her fucking leave when I knew damn well she was mine. It said so right there under that dress she wore. Diane belonged to me.
Jaime turned off the alarm and opened the door, wrapping his arm around her shoulders while leading her through the entrance. Her feet planted and I stepped forward as she spun around to pin me with a furious glare.
“Thank you for all the good you’ve done, and fuck you for the shit you didn’t have to do but did anyway. I won’t forget you. You made sure of that.” She reached out to hold the door, but didn’t turn away from me. Pain stabbed into my chest.
“I’m deeply sorry…Diane.” Damn if I didn’t want to call her my slave. “I hope you have an amazing life and happiness finds you. You deserve it.”
“And what about you?”
My head lowered, her heart-wrenching question was too much to take. Her need of me was engrained in every syllable of her words. In her expression and tone. “Don’t worry about what happens to me.”
“I have every right to worry!” she exploded. “I wouldn’t even be here right now if it wasn’t for you. Yet, here I am. Don’t you dare dismiss my questions as if they don’t matter.”
“They do matter. But I saved your life. Not to share it with me, but to give you another chance to find something worth living for. You’ll find that.”
A sarcastic laugh filled the space between us as she shook her head. “Maybe. But let this sink in, Master. When you have no one left because you’ve run them off, who’s going to save yours?”
I stared at her in silence, trying to imagine the rest of my days here alone, helping slaves and praying for something more in between them. And what happened when I got too old to help anymore? Then, I’d be alone for good. Until I died, in this house by myself with regrets and what-ifs.
“That’s what I thought,” she blurted out. “You fight for everyone else’s life, but you won’t even fight for your own. Do you want to know what the worst part of leaving you is, Master?” Her eyes welled with tears. “It’s knowing that with as powerful as you are, you don’t even have the guts to try to stop me. To fight for what you want.”
Glass shattered as I threw it against the wooden floor. “You want me to fight, slave? Is that what you need?” I stalked forward, ready to give her the fight of her life. To kiss her back into submission and make her forget any of this shit had happened.
“Don’t do it.” Jaime pulled her back behind him, nudging her down the step and toward the car. She didn’t have to be told what to do. With one last look of disappointment, Diane glared at me and climbed into the passenger side.
And I stayed at the entrance of my door, the prison I’d locked myself away in, watching them leave. Knowing that she was now secretly heading to another place she wouldn’t want to be.
Diane was now Jaime’s and I’d just have to learn to accept it. For both of us.