Chapter 24
For Her
Bryant
Holding hands. No one thinks how one simple gesture could mean so much. I held Amberly’s hand all the way to work. A comforting silence invaded the space in my truck. Last night replayed for me and I couldn’t wait to do it again. The silence was welcomed. Amberly said so much without saying anything. During the entire ride, she sneaked glances my way and her entire face lit up. She had a glow about her that wasn’t there before. I had to wonder if she was becoming the definition of a person healing from their past.
Confidence.
That was what Amberly gave me. I had never had a woman look at me the way Amberly did last night. Amberly proved that the things in life that you think are important, aren’t. That one moment in time can reroute your entire future.
All I could think about the entire drive to work was how she’d felt against me. It had felt perfect. She hadn’t held back. She’d let me love her with no complaint.
Certainty filled me when I’d woken up with her still in my arms. I had thought I couldn’t stomach another relationship. I had felt that I would meet new people and place boundaries. A no-strings-attached scenario. It would have been carried out effortlessly. But, I hadn’t planned on seeing Amberly again. She slaughtered the boundaries I had built to protect my heart. Deep down, I could feel she was different. Her heart wasn’t laced with bitterness. It was the first time I could sense purity in another human being. It was shocking.
When she looked into my eyes, I felt on top of the world. When she rubbed her thumb over my hand as it was interlocked with her hand, I felt promises being made and casted with a hard metal. Promises that couldn’t be broken, no matter what outside force threatened it.
We pulled into the parking lot and I let Amberly out of the truck. She waited for me to shut her door before extending her hand out for me to take. I did but swung her around to face me. She almost stepped on my toes. Giggles erupted out of her. She leaned her head back and her mouth parted open, the lyrics fell out of her and into the clouded sky. Her laugh was a song.
I lead the way into the shop, letting Amberly escape to the front lobby.
“You and Amber?” Adam approached me as soon as Amberly was behind the door and out of ear shot.
I couldn’t help it. I grinned. “Yeah, man.”
Adam clapped me on my back. In any other work place, I would keep our relationship to ourselves, but Adam didn’t mind. He told me the rules ahead of time, though he doubted I would get close enough to Amberly. In the handbook, the only relationships that were off limits were ones where someone was cheating and the ones that affected work. It was a test. I had to see how long I could last before walking straight into the lobby and making out with Amberly. After last night, it was going to be difficult to keep my hands off of her.
“I’m surprised she went for you.” Adam joked, flipping through the papers on his clipboard. “Anyhow, we are busy this week. I’ve got a couple trucks coming in today for lifts. Think we can finish them by the time we close?”
I followed him to the cooler, grabbing a flimsy paper cup and filling it with water. “No problem. I could probably have them finished before lunch.”
Adam peered over the clipboard and stuffed the pen behind his ear. “Oh yeah? Should we bet on that?”
I was not a gambler. I gambled on football games but never with money. Even with that fact of myself, I agreed to bet Adam I would have the vehicles finished. I never thought I’d be forfeiting my lunch period to get it done.
I grunted, putting all my force into the bolt. I cursed when it didn’t budge. I dared say it had been stripped by the last person who had put a sorry excuse for a lift kit into it. Adam hadn’t warned me that the truck was already lifted and I’d need to redo it. It looked like the genius who had put the previous kit in had turned to YouTube to get tips. The owner of the dark blue truck had wasted money for the previous kit and was now spending enormous wads of cash to have it done by us. He could’ve saved himself a few hundred to begin with if he had come to us first.
Amberly sat on the ground with her back against the aluminum wall of the building. I tried to force her to go to lunch with Cricket, but she didn’t budge. It made me smile she wanted to be by my side. I hadn’t had that before. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go get you anything?”
“No, I’m fine, baby.” It slipped out before I had a chance to think about it. I stopped what I was doing and gauged her reaction.
Her eyebrows lifted up in surprised. “I kind of like the sound of that.”
I continued what I was doing. We hadn’t discussed nicknames between us, but I already knew Amby was out of the question since that’s what Cricket called her on a daily basis. She felt more than average, so I couldn’t be sure I wouldn’t have a nickname thought up by the time we went on our first date.
“Good. I love you.” The words came out like I was meant to say them since the moment I met her. I didn’t think I could say it too much. Every time I said it and I was close, I could sense her heartbeat finding a new rhythm. The words had an effect on her, an affect that made me wish I could say them every five seconds.
“I love you too, Bryant.”
After more tugging on the bolt, I got it to move.
“Question,” before I could continue, she responded.
“Answer.”
My lips lifted up in one corner and I threw her a look out of the corner of my eye. “What was with those sex facts you text me before we started dating?”
She flattened her palms against her knees and pushed up. With a screwdriver in one hand she began pacing, tapping the end against her upturned palm. “I knew you’d ask me that eventually. I’m not sure what was going through my mind. I think I was lonely. I wanted to talk about something and I’m socially awkward so maybe I was trying to prove to you just how awkward I can be?”
It was a question that didn’t need answering. The last thing I’d accuse Amberly of being was awkward.
“I liked you, even before I got divorced. I probably shouldn’t be telling you that,” she paused, “but it’s the truth. I had this crush on you for weeks when I found out you were getting divorced. I couldn’t figure out if it was some weird obsession or what. I was drawn to you.” She stopped pacing and lowered the screwdriver so it was resting against her side. “I have never in my life wanted another man when I was with someone. Never.” She rolled her eyes, as if at herself, and paced again. It was making me nervous. “I felt like a slut for even having thoughts about you.”
“What kind of thoughts?” She was pouring her heart out to me and I couldn't help but wonder what kind of thoughts she had about me. Thoughts that maybe she wanted to be played out in real time.
She stood with her back against me before twirling around. There was a playful look on her face. “Thoughts that I shouldn’t have been having as a married woman. I don’t know,” she backtracked, “there was something about you. I saw how your ex-wife treated you and I felt bad for you. Even though you’re a grown man, the way she talked to you in front of everyone else broke my heart. You let her get away with it. I knew that you had a caring soul. It sounds so ridiculous and I couldn’t explain it.” Her words were spinning out of her like a spider web. “I’ve liked guys before, but this was something different. I had no idea how to stop the thoughts. All I wanted to do was be near you.”
I found that hard to believe so I challenged her statement. “You avoided me. I felt like I was annoying you every time I tried to talk to you.”
“I kind of had to.” She sat down on the small tool box and dropped the screwdriver. Her knees faced in and her feet were out. It was the cutest damn thing I’d seen her do. It made her look innocent.
I grabbed her by the ankles and dragged her across the cement floor of the shop. On my knees, I planted my hands on the toolbox and leaned into her, kissing the tip of her nose. “Why did you have to?”
“Because if I didn’t keep my distance, I would have done something I regretted for the rest of my life.”
“I wouldn’t have let you.” I told her, kissing her forehead.
If I had to be honest, I wouldn’t have been able to stop her from wanting me. I would have wanted her to want me. I would have instigated it. Amberly was the girl you broke your plans for, no matter what direction your life was mapped out in. She was the girl you didn’t regret. She was the girl that could wreck your marriage without even trying. If I was still being honest, I was glad that things played out the way they had. Neither one of us had anything holding us back. Our relationship wasn’t started with deceit.
I reached a hand up and cupped it at the base of her neck, looking first at her lips and then in her eyes before bringing my lips to touch hers again.
Phenomenal addiction. Amberly was my phenomenal addiction, one I wouldn't be quitting any time soon.
“I was thinking,” I started, “that I’d like it if you went with Delia and I to pick out a Christmas tree this weekend.”
“A real one?”
I nodded, our hands linking together. “A real one. We started the tradition last year and around December Delia starts asking about it and doesn’t stop asking until we get in the truck to go get one.”
Amberly laughed. “Sounds like something Haylie would do.”
“Kids.” I joked, making Amberly laugh harder. “What do you say?”
“How could I turn down such an offer?”