Chapter 10
Pretty Beautiful
Bryant
I didn’t miss the way her body arched as my fingers skimmed her lower back, stopping just above the waistband of her leggings. She responded to me in a way no other woman ever had, while remaining reserved. It was as though she were too embarrassed to let loose, to show me exactly what my touch was doing to her. I couldn’t blame her though, Adam had told me she hadn’t so much as went on a date with another man since Eric. I didn’t dig for details, but I could tell what he did had her heart on lock down.
I kept my fingers moving, feeling the rise of her skin as it betrayed her. She could tell me to stop but she didn’t. She could reposition her body, creating distance, but she didn’t. She watched the movie, her eyes fluttering a few times, and kept still. I couldn’t bring myself to look in any other direction than hers. I wondered what I had missed only when I saw tears gliding down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the sleeves of her sweatshirt and peeked at me.
“I hate that movie.” She declared, an internal battle raging inside of her.
The story of two young lovers no doubt reminded her of the fact Haylie would never get to experience it. Hearing what really happened had my own emotions begging a release. I couldn’t fathom what she went through. I didn’t have to wonder if Eric was by her side. I knew the answer to that without asking. She had to endure it alone.
“Get up and get dressed.”
She pulled her legs back as I lifted myself from the couch.
“What?” Her innocent confusion made me want to wrap her in my arms and not let go.
Something was telling me I had to help her heal. I had to give her strength to move forward. I wasn’t dead set on how I was going to accomplish it though.
I adjusted my hat and smiled down at her. She seemed to want to disappear into the material of the couch. “Get dressed. I’m going to get a few things and I’ll be back to pick you up.”
She delivered an incredulous glare. “We haven’t gotten to number seven yet.”
I placed my hands, palms up to her and she slid her tiny hands into them. I lifted her up and brushed stray pieces of hair away from her face. “It’s not a date. I promise. I’ll be ten minutes tops.”
She groaned. “Might take me a little longer to do something with this.” She waved her hands around her unkempt hair.
I wanted to tell her she was beautiful the way she was. That her face, red from crying, was perfect in its purity. That the clothes she wore right now made her look comfortable and warm. That her hair looked wild and free. I didn’t say any of it though, following her sentence with, “Twenty? Is that enough time?”
She nodded then and I bent down, giving her a kiss on her cheek. Her cheeks lit up with the pink hue that was starting to become my favorite color. She lowered her head and avoided my gaze.
It was an auto reaction, but how could I explain that to her? “I’m sorry, I just…” I just nothing, there was nothing I could say to explain why I had done that. Maybe it was her vulnerability that had me dropping my guard. Maybe it was my desire to touch her and hope that each touch, no matter how it occurred, could swipe away the pain she felt.
“It’s okay.” She whispered.
“I’ll be right back. Take all the time you need.” I closed her apartment door behind me and raced down the steps to my truck.
I wasn’t sure how she would react to what I was about to do. I wasn’t sure it would make any difference to her, but she couldn’t sit in the apartment all day and cry.
There was a small store on the corner of the next street over. I drove over, making a note of what time it was now and how much time I had promised to give her.
I’d never been in this store before and the parking lot seemed to be fairly empty. I grabbed a cart on my way in, searching aisles for what I needed. I think I even went down one aisle five times before finding the last item. I pulled out my phone and realized that I had only spent seven minutes in the store.
I made a quick call to Cricket to gather a small piece of information I needed before loading up the small plastic sacks into my backseat and taking off to a convenient store. That trip took another seven minutes, due to a heavy line at the register. I juggled the cups I was holding, balancing them on top of a white box.
I made it back to the apartment with one-minute left. I traveled up the stairs and knocked on the door.
Amberly opened it and her mouth dropped open when I offered a coffee cup to her. “Pumpkin spice. I heard it was your favorite. Ready? I’ve got some donuts in the truck.”
Her fingers wrapped around the cup. She hoisted her purse over her arm and reached back to shut the door. I walked next to her to the truck. She blew into the hole of the cup, trying to make the liquid cold enough for her to take a sip. “Where are we going?”
I followed behind her, opening the door for her.
She eased a tiny sip from the cup but didn’t move otherwise. “This isn’t a date.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I planted my hand against the truck and leaned close to her. “Not a date.” I motioned for her to get in but she peered at me with suspicion, not budging a single part of her body.
“It’s a surprise.”
She considered my answer for a moment, taking another drink from the cup. “What if I don’t like surprises?”
I shrugged and pushed off of the truck, taking the stare down she was piercing me with. Even though she was equipped with a light pink sweater that hung off her shoulders and a pair of dark denim jeans, no way this charade could stay strong for much longer. A playful glimmer showed in her eyes and her lips started lifting up in the corners.
“Then, I guess you’ll just have to humor me this one time. No more surprises after.”
This seemed to dismantle her reservation because she jumped in the truck and let me close the door behind her.
The drive was a good fifteen minutes away and it had started to snow, something that was rare in our state. At least, until January. I turned the heat up higher before handing the white box to Amberly.
“The two on the left side have custard filling.”
“Are you stalking me?”
I shook my head. “Why would you think that?”
She held up one of the custard-filled donuts and her coffee cup. “You bring me my favorite donuts and drink. I think you’re a class A stalker.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?”
She took a bite out of the donut and swallowed. “Depends.”
“On?” I risked a glance at her, watching as she devoured her food.
“On what you’re going to use your abilities for. If it is as innocent as bringing me food and drinks, I’ll let it slide.”
She smiled at me but then looked away too sudden. Her stare lingered on the falling flakes outside. I let it be, turning the radio up a little to allow her whatever moment she needed while I tried to decipher what the look paired with her smile meant. Regret for letting me in?
When I parked the truck, it didn’t pass me by when she started tensing up. She recognized where we were.
“Why did you bring me here? What are we doing here? How did you know?” Questions fired out of her like bullets releasing out of the barrel of a gun.
I placed my hand on her shoulder. “Amberly, it’s okay.”
She glared at me and her head turned to give her a better view of her surroundings. “No. It’s not. Why are you doing this?”
I could see the fear in her eyes. Cricket had told me this was a horrible idea. I didn’t listen.
Instead of answering her, I pulled the pale blue balloons from the backseat that the clerk had filled with helium and a bouquet of flowers. Amberly watched me with caution.
I handed her the bouquet and reached back for the trophy that I’d never had the chance to give Haylie. “I’m going to be right here with you.” I reassured her, not knowing if that would make her feel any better.
I could see as she started to understand what I had planned. I hopped out, holding on tight to the three balloons, and crossed in front of the truck to open up her door. Little tears speckled her cheeks, seeming to magnify her freckles as they traveled down. I helped her out, making sure her black boots didn’t slip on the ice that had formed on the base boards of my truck.
She clutched the flowers to her chest, pausing with each step as I directed her to Haylie’s grave.
Cricket had told me where it was but had said Amberly had never been. She said she had taken Amberly at her request but didn’t even make it into the gates before Amberly screamed obscenities until Cricket turned back around.
The snow wasn’t thick, as it peppered the headstones and grass with its presence. I kept walking, my fingers woven through Amberly’s. Every time I looked back I could see a new tear form. When we stopped in front of the one marked for Haylie, Amberly turned her eyes away and bent to the ground, her knees soaking up the dampness of the ground. I had no idea if what I was doing had been the right thing. I could hope this would help Amberly, but as was life, there were no guarantees.
I inched closer to her, wrapping my arms around her and let her cry for however long she needed. After several moments she sat up and erased all remnants of her tears. “What are the balloons for?”
I turned them so she could see what was written on each one. She read them aloud. “Mommy loves you little angel. Dry your eye, dragonfly, and until I see you again.” She turned to me. “How did you know that’s what I used to say to her?” She let her fingers trail along the letters.
I turned around and sat the trophy next to Haylie’s headstone. I had put in it my truck after the first day I learned I'd be working with Amberly. I had meant to give it to her the day she told me about Haylie but stopped in my tracks after she told me about the wreck.
“There was one game where a girl on the opposing team shoved Haylie down. I carried her off the field and you came over and tried to calm her down. She had a pretty good gash on her knee and the sight of blood seemed to make her crying worse. You kissed her cheeks and then her nose, using your thumbs to wipe away the tears. As you did this I heard you say it to her. I couldn’t be sure that was something you did all the time. But,” I paused, my back still facing away from her, “I think Haylie’s probably crying now. She sees the pain her death has caused. I thought we could release the balloons and they would reach her somehow. I think she’d like to hear you say that you’re going to be okay and she doesn’t have to cry anymore.”
I heard her inhale sharply. I twisted my body back so I could face her. She was still kneeling, rubbing the petals of the flowers between her fingers. “She thought the world of you. All of the girls on the team did really.”
I smiled. “You’re pretty beautiful, you know that?”