Chapter 3
Crash
Amberly
My heart pounded against my chest as I watched Bryant Kessler take a seat next to Cricket to fill out his paperwork. His hazel eyes bore into me once more before he turned his full attention to the papers I’d handed him. I would have never guess the ‘new guy’ would’ve been none other than Haylie’s old softball coach. I had tried to escape my past after the accident. It seemed to be stalking me.
Cricket tried to mouth something to me but I shook my head, turning my attention to the past due balances in front of me. We had a few clients who we hadn’t heard back from and their vehicles were still in our possession. It wasn’t anything new, but Monday mornings seemed the ample day of the week to get responses. Sometimes, Adam didn’t mind when their bills went unpaid. If the car was paid for, Adam sold it on Craig's list for much higher than their bill. He made profit off many customers, even if they dodged every phone call.
I couldn’t have picked a better day for Bryant to start. I could dive into my work and ignore him. But, what would happen on Friday? Fridays were our dead days and I’d have to spend all day watching the mechanics filter in and out of the lobby due to boredom. I didn’t think I could handle being around Bryant. I couldn’t handle it when I was married and had to see him three times a week, so there was no way I could work in the same building as him. I fumed to myself, trying to decide what my next step would be.
Adam would never forgive me if I quit, and I wasn’t sure what that would do to my friendship with Cricket. They both seemed to depend on me to help them with the business.
“So, Bryant, how do you and Amberly know each other?” The question filled the silence of the room and I cleared my throat, trying to get Cricket to knock it off. This would, in no way, end well.
Bryant lifted his head, smiling at me before turning his attention to Cricket. “Her daughter was on my softball team.”
That piqued Cricket’s interest just enough that she straightened in her chair and turned her body on the barstool. “You have a softball team?”
He nodded his head. “I did. My daughter was on it.”
“Was?” She questioned.
“Oh yeah, I gave it up. Too much drama.” He lowered his head again, using the pen to scribble down his information. It was obvious he wasn't interested in divulging much more than that. For some reason the lack of explanation had me wanting to pry though I wasn't the type to pry.
Cricket lifted her eyebrows and then looked at me. I shook my head vigorously, warning away whatever idea was brewing in her head.
When Bryant was done, Adam handed his papers to me. “Get that filed and sign him up for the insurance.”
“Now?”
Adam nodded his head. “Now.”
There was usually a ninety-day waiting period for new employees, but I could guess Adam was doing a favor for Bryant. They seemed to know each other well. I sat the papers down by the phone and withdrew a blank folder from the drawer in my desk. I wrote his name across the top of it and stuffed the papers inside, jotting down a reminder to enroll him in the insurance plan later on today. My hands shook a little while I was writing his name but I steadied them enough so it hadn't looked like a first grader had written on his folder.
Bryant stood and Adam retrieved him a shirt out of his office. “Only dress code is free advertising on a shirt.” Adam joked. “I’ll have to order you a few pairs of coveralls. For now, you can prance around in this number.”
Bryant chuckled, the sound sending the hairs on the back of my neck up. I rolled my eyes and scolded myself for acting like a school girl.
Bryant Kessler was most definitely the next best thing to an orgasm on a stick. He was also more than that. He was kind, sweet, and had a good heart. When I last saw him, he’d been separated from his wife and anyone could tell he wasn’t dealing with it well. I remember how that made me feel for him. I didn’t give him another thought until he had announced to me he was going through a divorce. After that day, I couldn’t get him out of my mind and I felt like a slut for it. Cheating never crossed my mind while I was with Eric; Bryant made me feel things that I had no business feeling. I had never even had much of a conversation with him. I chalked the entire thing up to physical attraction and left it at that.
“Earth to Amberly.” Cricket was standing in front of me, snapping her fingers. “What the hell?”
“Sorry.” I replied, startled. Cricket had caught me staring and would be firing off questions left and right.
“Explain.” She crossed her arms across her chest and tapped one of her sneakers against the marbled floor.
I shrugged my shoulders. “There’s nothing to explain.” I prayed she wouldn’t press further, but that wasn’t Cricket’s personality. She was a force to be reckoned with. Always would be.
“You’re a damned liar, Amby. A horrible one at that. You know new guy. That’s not ‘nothing to explain’. Spill it, because if you don’t start talking I’m going to purposely put you in an uncomfortable predicament.” She air quoted her words, mimicking what I’d said this morning.
I cracked my neck from side to side and licked my lips, preparing them to deliver the words I never wanted to repeat. “He told you. He was Haylie’s softball coach. His daughter wanted to join softball so he created a team, and I decided to get Haylie involved in something.”
Her hands flew in the air. “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to give me?”
I sighed and placed my head in my hands. All the memories I didn’t want to relive rushed back into the crevices of my brain. Thinking about Bryant meant thinking about Haylie. It wasn't as if I hadn’t thought about her for the past year, but I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind until I was alone.
When I first moved in with Cricket, I was a mess. I didn’t recognize the woman I was. I became addicted to drinking, my drug of choice to help me forget about how bad my life sucked at the moment. It numbed the memories and helped me live in a world where everything was funny and nothing mattered. Cricket forced me to get myself together and be the person Haylie would want me to be. She invited me along to all of her interests where the invite wasn’t open for discussion. In the end, throwing myself into that world helped me cope with my loss of Haylie and Eric. I tricked Cricket into thinking I'd found myself again, wallowing in my grief alone, when it didn’t affect my life. I could cry myself to sleep and wake up the next morning and face the world.
They say time heals all wounds. That’s not true. The day she was born still exists, so each year I have to face the fact she’s not around to celebrate her birthday. Time passing doesn’t do anything but make you older. You don’t forget. You don’t become healed because it’s been a month or a year.
“Amberly, you have to give me something. I saw the way you two looked at each other.”
I lifted my head, my fingertips gliding along my cheeks and down to my neck. “You’re imagining it then because there is nothing between us.”
A knowing smile crept across her face. “Whether or not words or sex were ever exchanged holds no relevance to what I saw between you two. There can still be a connection, maybe neither of you realize it yet.”
I knew I had some sort of connection with Bryant but hated that Cricket was so in tune with it. I had kept my distance, knowing any shortening of it would result in a catastrophic nightmare. I didn’t trust myself around Bryant. After all, for the time I knew him, I was married. Who was to say Bryant even felt a sliver of what I felt? Cricket supposedly.
“Please don’t.” I pleaded.
Cricket walked back to her desk. “Don’t what?” She asked, her eyes skimming over the computer monitor.
“Don’t make this out to be something that it’s not. I’m not ready.”
Cricket shrugged, though I knew her cool demeanor was an act. She wouldn’t let the subject go with ease. “Amby, your husband cheated on you while your daughter was dying. On the day she died, you discovered the affair. It’s been a year. He’s not worth the pain, unless of course it’s in a telegram that also delivers a person to smash his balls up to his eyeballs.”
I giggled, my face turning red. Tears streamed down my face as my laughter escalated. “Oh. My. God!” The muscles in my midsection convulsed and pain coursed through them.
“All I’m saying is, he’s got a dick and you’ve got a vagina. Maybe you should introduce them to each other. I mean, it’s rude for your sexual pudenda to be antisocial.”
A smirk stayed in place without changing, but I felt the rest of my face contort with confusion. “Pudenda?” My laugh swirled around the word and I was barely able to pronounce it.
“Organs, Amberly. Pudenda means organs. God, you should really read a dictionary.”
I busted with laughter once again and threw the schedule book across the lobby, aiming at Cricket. I was so uncoordinated, throwing anything never landed at my destined target, it dropped down to the floor and out spilled the contents across the tile. “How would one go about reading a dictionary?”
I imagined someone, anyone, picking up a dictionary and reading it from cover to cover, and how awkward that would have to be for anyone listening.
“Never mind. You’re such a bitch.”
The lobby became quiet again, the only sound was that of the fish tank Adam had set up after I had started working here. My mind drifted to Bryant, as much as I tried to stop the thoughts, they filed one by one. There was a stencil of him printed into my mind. No matter how hard I had tried, I'd never forget a face like his.
Bryant Kessler was taller than me by eight inches. It was only eight inches, but it felt as though he towered over me. His shoulders were broad, reaching out further than the narrowing of his waist. His chest stuck out and as he dropped his hands to his sides, you’d think he was prepared for a fight, the knuckles of his hands facing forward. He was wearing shorts today so I could see his calves. They were muscular and designed with a tattoo on each one. One of the tattoos was of a skull, fire pouring out from the eyes and mouth of it. On the other leg were the simple words, ‘first in, last out’. I thought about his face last. When he smiled at me earlier, I had almost forgotten how beautiful it was. I didn’t know another man who had a beautiful smile. Perfect teeth and a wide mouth, complete with mildly full lips. Any woman would have to be insane not to want to put her lips to his.
Just then, Cricket’s words flashed into my mind ‘orgasm on a stick’. I had to stay far away from Bryant Kessler.