Chapter 14

 

 

 

 

Dawson never gave up looking for me, but I left him with very little to go on. He knew about my father selling me to a man named Drew. He knew that my name had been Morgan Willow. He knew that I had been in Indiana since then, and nothing more. He had gone to my father, and my father told him what I was sure he was to tell anyone looking for me. That I married a very nice man, and he hadn’t seen me since.

My sheriff tried to use his law authority, but it didn’t work. My father still said he didn’t know anything. He did so much research trying to find someone that was in the software business by the name of Drew, nothing but a brick wall. He couldn’t even find a marriage between Morgan Willow and Drew anyone. I’m sure trying to find wedding records with no last name was next to impossible, especially when you were looking in the wrong state.

Lauren and Star helped as much as they could, but came up with nothing. I didn’t leave them much to go on. Dawson knew that Drew had me; he just couldn’t find me. He assumed that he had found out about me somehow and had taken me from the layover in Chicago. He was at his wits end and didn’t know what else to do.

Our wedding day came and gone, and he was still clueless, hurt, and alone. He was even beginning to think that I had left on my own accord, and the whole wedding thing scared me off. That was easier for him than thinking that I was back with Drew, and what he was doing to me.

***

The truth was; Drew never did anything. He was always the perfect gentleman. There were times when I questioned the looks he  gave me when I would say things that he thought were out of line or when I would just burst into his office. But for the most part he was unusually attentive and caring toward me. I still didn’t like his copilot Derik but didn’t really have a reason. I just didn’t like him. He gave me the creeps when he was around, which was a lot.

I still defied Drew’s wishes about wearing the designer clothes around the house. It just seemed so artificial to me, and I was more comfortable in my sweats and flannels. I did do some online shopping one afternoon with Drew peering over my shoulder. I heard a few groans when I ordered a few pairs of jeans, shorts, t-shirts, and sneakers. Who didn’t own a pair of sneakers? I related it to who I was before Drew, and although I may have dressed the way he wanted, to impress him at one time, I didn’t want to do that. I wasn’t going to do that.

I’d been back at the mansion with Drew for almost a month. The one nurse, Melissa, was gone, but Terri was still there and she and I had become pretty good friends. Drew didn’t like that either and pointed it out to me one afternoon. Terri had just left for the day and wasn’t spending the nights anymore. She came and did therapy with me and went home in the afternoon.

I really didn’t need her anymore, but I started to go stir crazy being in the house all the time. No wonder I chose to go to school. I liked having Terri there to talk to. Drew didn’t, and a week later, he explained that it really wasn’t proper for me to associate with the help the way that I did, she was gone. I was furious. He could have at least told me that her assignment was up so I could say goodbye to her.

I still couldn’t remember anything. It was like my conscious mind was erased. I didn’t dream about my past. Nothing became more familiar, and I began to wonder if I ever would.

Drew took me out shopping for a new dress for a dinner party that Mr. Callaway held on Saturday night. I came down to go, and he smiled. I had decided to appease him and leave the jeans in the closet. I wore a satin white top with no sleeves, tucked into a pair of designer black dress slacks with a large silver buckle. I was surprised by the heels. I thought for sure that I would hate them, but I wore them like a pro which was acceptable, I guessed. I did dress like that for a good many years, or so I was told anyway.

I tried on three different dresses in the expensive store while Drew gave his opinion. He didn’t like the first two and told the two women who were making a tremendous fuss over me, no. They would leave and bring me something else. When I walked out in the short, flowing, black sequined dress he instantly said, “No way.”

I spun around looking in the mirror. I thought that it made me look extremely sexy, and it made my legs look longer and my breasts look bigger.

“I’ll take this one,” I told the two ladies. They looked to Drew as if they were asking his permission.

What the fuck?

“Whatever Mrs. Kelley wants,” he offered, surrendering with his hands in the air.

I smiled at him, and he smiled back. We were absolutely flirting.

He took me to a nice restaurant for dinner where we both continued to flirt. I even let him hold my hand on the way back to the car. I was sure we hadn’t had sex in a while, and I was a woman after all. I couldn’t help it that things were stirring that hadn’t recently been stirred.

I said goodnight to Drew and walked upstairs to my suite where I soaked in the glorious hot tub. I pulled on a pair of stretch shorts and a solid light pink shirt with a V-neck. I’m not sure why I did it, but I opened the nightstand drawer, and pulled out the e-reader.

Hmm, I thought, pulling myself up on the bed. I didn’t turn down the cover. I had told Drew it was his fault that I walked around in sweats or flannels because he kept it so cold in there, he adjusted the temperature, and it was rather warm in my room.

I tried to power on the e-reader, but it was dead. I looked in the drawer for the charger and just got it plugged in when Drew was there. He took it out of my hand like he knew that I had it. I looked at him confused, not knowing what to say.

“You shouldn’t read this yet, too much eye movement.” He smiled.

“How did you know I even had it?” I asked with a bit more attitude than I meant to expose.

“I didn’t know that you had it. I was just coming to ask you if you wanted to go for a walk around the property.”

“Is that something that we used to do?” I asked, calming down from my accusations of I didn’t know what.

“Yes, all the time, as soon as the sun was down.”

“Sure,” I replied with a smile. It was only ten o’clock, and I wasn’t really tired anyway. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to let me read, so I figured I may as well.

He shook his head, amused, when I put on the socks and sneakers.

“You stop it,” I said, knowing what he was thinking. I was flirting. Yup, that was what I was doing.

Drew held my hand as we walked around the property. I let him. And although I couldn’t remember being in love with him before, I could see myself falling in love with him all over again.

“What do you do exactly, Drew?” I asked.

“You mean for work?”

“Yeah, I mean you obviously do something that pays very well.”

He snickered a little. “Diamonds, beautiful diamonds, I have fifteen stores and just purchased three more that were getting ready to go under. I have been patiently waiting for months for them to fail enough to swoop in and take the burden off their hands with an exceptionally low price.”

“Did they want to sell?”

“No, but they didn’t really have a choice. My stores were overpowering them.”

“It’s kind of sad,” I decided out loud.

“That’s business,” he replied. He stopped me by pulling my hand. I spun right into his chest.

I was terrified to look up. I knew he wanted to kiss me. Did I want to kiss him? I wasn’t sure, but I was about to find out. He lifted my chin with his hand and parted my lips with his tongue.

I pulled myself up on the tips of my toes to get closer to his lips. I did want to kiss him, and his kiss was shooting streams of fireworks right to my groin. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer. He ran one hand up the back of my shirt, the other one through my hair and to the back of my neck. I moaned into his mouth.

Drew kissed me like that in the dark night of the back yard for, I didn’t know how long. I could feel his girth on my stomach. It made me moan again.

“Sleep in my bed tonight,” he whispered, to my lips.

Was I ready for that? My vagina was telling me that I was. It wasn’t like I had never had sex with the man for God’s sake. What was I worried about?

I didn’t answer and Drew led me back to the house by my hand. What the hell was wrong with me? Did I forget how to have sex too? I was sure I could keep up, but there was something that I just couldn’t put my finger on that scared the hell out of me.

Drew led me right to his room and moved me to his bed. He slid off my sneakers and socks. He ran his hands up my bare legs and told me to lie back. I did, and he removed my shorts and panties. He pulled me back up and helped me out of my braless shirt. I couldn’t breathe. He was moving too fast. I wasn’t used to this and wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t have to worry about it. Drew took control and instructively told me what to do.

All of a sudden I was scared. The look on his face instantly changed, and I was staring into the eyes of satan.

“Spread your legs,” he said with a tone I didn’t like. I didn’t do it.

I trembled when he did it himself. What was he doing? Why was he making me feel this way? Shouldn’t he be holding me in his arms, telling me that he loved me, and that it was okay?”

That was the first night that I caught a glimpse or a vision. I wasn’t sure what the hell it was, but it scared the hell out of me.

Drew ran his fingers up my slippery folds. My eyes closed, and I felt faint.

“Do you want to come, Morgan?” he asked in a voice that was familiar. I just didn’t know why it sounded familiar.

How the hell was I supposed to answer that? Of course, I wanted to come. I wanted to come the moment he touched me down there. He leaned on one elbow beneath me as his fingers did extraordinary things to me. I was so close. I was right there ready to climax when the image flashed through my mind. It was Drew. He hit me across the face with the back of his hand, and I heard his angry tone.

“I told you not to come,” the voice echoed through my mind, and just like that it was gone.

It was enough though. It was enough to scare the living hell right out of me. I quickly sat up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, shocked as I grabbed my clothes and started pulling them on.

“I don’t know what it is. Something.” I assured him.

He softly took me in his arms. “Morgan?” he said.

“Did you hit me, Drew?” I asked, looking up to him. I had to.

“What?” he asked like I was crazy. “No. I never hit you. Why would you ask something like that?”

“I just had a quick image of you hitting me.”

“Baby, I’m sure it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. Come back to bed with me.”

“I can’t,” I admitted, pulling on my shorts. “I’m not ready for this.”

I left him and headed back upstairs to my own safe room, but it didn’t feel safe at all. I felt far from safe when I closed my door. I crawled into my bed and tried to relax. Why did I just see Drew hit me? It was so real. Was it my subconscious? Did he really hit me? I was probably just being over sensitive. It was probably nothing. I let my mind drift off to what was about to happen in his bed. I knew that I was still wet and more than ready as I recalled his fingers doing what they were doing.

Before I knew it, my own hands were inside of my panties, pleasing myself. It felt strange. I almost felt like he was watching me for some reason. I knew that it was crazy and was probably just in my overactive imagination.

“Stop,” I heard Drew whisper right beside my bed.

I did stop. I inconspicuously tried to remove my hand without him knowing that it was there. How embarrassing was that? Did he know? Why was he telling me to stop?

I stared at him with wide eyes as he removed the covers and ran his hand up my leg. He didn’t look at my face and again slid me out of my shorts. I was frozen. I couldn’t move. Twice now I had been on the brink of orgasm. I wanted to stop him, but I didn’t want to stop him. I wondered what the chances of him taking care of me and not making me have sex with him were.

I could tell that he was trying exceedingly hard to be attentive to me, but for some reason he was fighting something. I just couldn’t figure out what it was. The expressions changed rapidly from patient and loving to vengeance and hate. What the hell was his problem? I didn’t stop him again. I didn’t have the control. I had a need that was dying to be filled.

He didn’t let me come. Every time I would get close he would stop. I wanted to come so bad I could taste it. What the hell was his problem? The third time that I was close, and he knew it, he stopped again. He took my leg and twisted it over my body so that I was half on my stomach. I wanted to protest, but when I felt his fingers slide my juices from the front of me all the way to the back, I couldn’t. I was aroused, scared, and exposed, and all I could do was lay there and let him have his way. I knew then that he was the leader in the bedroom. I just wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I obviously liked it. I did marry him almost eight years before.

I wasn’t sure how I felt again when I felt his finger penetrating my anus. I mean. I thought I liked it, but I didn’t know if I was reacting out of fear or arousal. I grabbed the sheet and squeezed it into my fist as I felt him slide his finger into me. The other one had been dancing on my clit up until that time. He moved it and used his hand to spread me more as his finger penetrated me, slowly in and out. I would have to say that it felt better when his finger was massaging my clitoris, but I still didn’t stop him. I couldn’t.

I almost panicked when I heard his zipper being slid down. I wanted to protest and stop him, but I was afraid of him. Why would I be afraid of him?

I couldn’t believe it. Our first time making love in who knew how long and he thought that he was going to put it in my ass? I don’t think so.

That was exactly what he did and I let him. He brought his knees to the bed and spread me as much as he could. As soon as I felt his finger slide out I felt the head of him trying to enter me, I had to protest.

“Drew,” I said, trying to stop him.

“Shhh,” he countered as he moved in a little more. “I’ll let you come too, don’t worry.”

What? Why would I worry? That vision suddenly became so real.

“Give me your hand,” he requested.

I reached my hand to his. I thought he wanted to hold it, to reassure me. He wanted me to hold myself open for him so that he could put his hands on the bed to the sides of me and move in and out of me more forcefully. This wasn’t what I had in mind for our first time. He did hold true to his word. He moved into an upright position, pulling me with him and placed his thumb back to my core as he pulled me toward him. I called out in agonizing pleasure as he shoved deep into my ass and released his own satisfaction.

“God, I missed you,” he whimpered, pulled himself out of me, kissed me on the head and left.

What the fuck?

What just happened here? I felt violated, hurt, confused, and dirty. I jumped in the shower and scrubbed every inch of him off of me. I didn’t love that man. I could never love someone like him. Did I? No. No. I couldn’t love him. It was impossible.

I spent the better part of the next day in my room, afraid to face him after what had happened the night before. He sent the cook up with a tray, and I ate in my room. I felt like I was sinking into a hole, some sort of depression. I sat in the chair by the window and stared out blankly trying to figure out where I belonged. I didn’t feel like I belonged there at all.

Around one in the afternoon, I heard a knock on my door. When I opened it, there was a lady carrying a bag. I had forgotten all about the dinner party I was attending with Drew. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to go somewhere, but not there with him.

“I’m here to take care of your hair for the night. Are you ready?”

I didn’t need anyone to take care of my hair. I could take care of it myself. Did Drew send her?

Of course, I let her in, and we moved to the vanity. She did my hair and makeup, taking almost two hours. My butt hurt so badly from sitting, I squirmed trying to ease the discomfort.

I followed her to the door and then headed to Drew’s office.

I was stoned stupid when I stood outside listening to the conversation between him and Derik.

“She’s not your little slave anymore. I’m telling you; she is going to make trouble,” I heard Derik say.

“Don’t worry, my friend. I will have her back to knowing who her master is in no time flat.”

I walked quickly past the door and into the kitchen with Marta, the cook.

“Can I get a cup of coffee?” I asked. My hair and makeup were done beautifully, and all I needed to do was pull on my dress. I didn’t want to go anywhere with Drew. I felt sick. Slave? Master? What did that mean? Why can’t I remember? I really need to remember. Something dreadful happened there. I could feel it.

I tried to tell Drew that I didn’t feel well, and I should stay home, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He was making me go, and all of my nerve to tell him no had disappeared with the slave and master remark.

I reluctantly went with him. Derik drove us, and I wondered what role he played in Drew’s business. He always seemed to be around. I stared out the window and jumped when Drew took my hand and smiled at me.

“You okay?” he asked.

No. I wasn’t okay.

“I’m fine,” I smiled a weak smile.

We had to stop at one of his stores on the way to the party, and that did seem familiar. I looked straight ahead in a daze as I took in the jewelry store.

“I’ve been here before,” I stated, mostly to myself.

Drew snorted. “You’ve been here a lot of times. Go pick out a new set of wedding rings,” he said looking down at the watch on his wrist. “We have to hurry.”

“Where are the ones that I had?” I asked, not understanding.

“They cut them off of you in the wreck.”

“Oh,” that made sense.

I didn’t care about the fancy diamonds, and picked the first set that my eyes landed on.

There weren’t a lot of people at the party. I was glad of that. Right away I noticed the man in the wheelchair. I couldn’t remember his name. He wheeled over to us with a smile. He took my hand and admired the wedding set.

“How are you doing, Morgan?” he asked.

“Better,” I lied. I wasn’t better at all, maybe physically, but certainly not emotionally or mentally.

“Well, you look radiant,” he said.

“Thank you.”

Derik’s wife joined us next. She was said to have been my best friend there. I didn’t think so. She didn’t seem like someone that I would be friends with, but I didn’t like a lot of things that seemed to be my life.

“It’s so good to see you,” Jena said.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“Jena,” she offered. “I’m Derik’s wife.” She smiled.

Poor girl.

We were all led to a table and sat with the man in the wheelchair, his caretaker, Derik, and Jena. I mostly listened to the conversation around the table. Everyone seemed fine with that except for the man in the wheelchair.

Callaway, yeah, that was his name.

For some reason, he was more concerned with my well-being than my husband was. He wanted to know what the doctor had said at my appointment that week. I wondered how he knew about that. I finally had to ask. I couldn’t take it a second longer. Drew choked on the wine that he just sipped.

“How do we know each other?” I bluntly asked. I expected that he was going to tell me that he knew me through Drew.

“Let’s just say that it has been a goal of mine ever since I found out about you, to make sure that you were always taken care of,” he said, smiling.

I hadn’t even seen Drew get up. The next thing I knew he was by my side. He held out his hand for me.

“Would you dance with me, Mrs. Kelley?” he asked.

“I don’t think I know how to dance,” I admitted, already taking his hand.

He could be so charming and yet turn into such a dick when I least expected.

“I happen to know that you are a remarkable dancer,” he said, sweetly.

I could dance. How did I know how to waltz around the floor like that? I moved with Drew like we had done it a million times.

“I take it we have done this before?” I asked as he spun me back into his arms.

“Yes, you used to love to go out dancing.”

“Drew.”

“Yes, Mrs. Kelley?”

“I’m not sure that I’m okay with what happened last night.”

Drew looked down at me as though he was clueless.

“What do you mean,” he asked.

“I just wasn’t expecting our first time to be like that.”

He snickered and pulled me closer to him. “It wasn’t our first time, Morgan, and I was just trying to give you what you liked. You know? Hoping to jog your memory.”

“I liked that?”

“I do miss that a lot,” he admitted. “That was actually mild compared to what you normally like.”

“It was?”

Oh, god. I was some sort of sex freak.

He laughed again. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll try to remember that your memories are gone. How’s that.”

“Maybe we should start by sleeping in the same bed together again,” I suggested. I could have sworn that I felt him tense.

“I don’t think you’re ready for that just yet.”

Who the hell was he to tell me what I was ready for?

I leaned in closer to his ear. “You don’t think that I’m ready to sleep in your bed, but I was ready for you to stick your dick in my ass?”

I know for a fact that he tensed that time.

Drew pulled me from the dance floor and back to the table. He never let go of my hand as he spoke to the other guests around the table.

“I think we’re going to call it a night. Morgan’s not feeling too well.”

I pulled my hand from his. “Actually, I feel fine. I would love to try the pie,” I spoke up, sitting back beside Mr. Callaway.

Mr. Callaway smiled and patted my hand. “That’s my girl. The pecan pie here is to die for. I think I’ll have one too.” He smiled.

My girl? What did that mean? Drew took his seat in front of me and glared at me. I had just defied him in front of other people. I was sure that he wasn’t okay with that.

 

Drew drove us home, and Derik left with his wife. I could tell that he was pissed. He wore a clenched jaw and his knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tight.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked. I didn’t care. He was acting like some spoiled overgrown child.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? You just embarrassed the hell out of me in there, and you want to know what is wrong?”

“And how the hell do you think I did that? You shouldn’t have lied and said I didn’t feel well. Had I always let you talk for me and decide what I wanted?”

“Yeah, Morgan you did and when you didn’t listen, you would be punished once we were home. Maybe I need to show you how we do things around here,” he said through clenched teeth.

That scared the hell out of me. Punish me? What the hell did that mean? I wasn’t backing down. I wasn’t about to let him think I was intimidated by him for one second.

“FUCK YOU!” I yelled.

He grabbed me by my hair. “You need to stop. I’m warning you, Morgan. You don’t want to do this.”

I knew at that moment that he did hit me; that vision of him backhanding me did happen. I had a feeling that it happened more often than not. I didn’t care. I wasn’t stopping.

“Take your hands off of me. Now!” I demanded through the same gritted teeth.

Drew let go. I was happy. I was no match for his muscular build, and I knew it. I also knew that I had to get away from him. I don’t know who I was before my accident or what I allowed to happen to me, but I knew that I wasn’t willing to let it happen again. I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do about it. Where would I go?

I didn’t wait for him to open my door. I stormed into the house and right up to my own room.

“Of course, no lock,” I said out loud to the empty suite.

I took off the expensive dress, pulled the pins from my hair, and pulled on my baggy flannel pants and simple white t-shirt. Drew didn’t bother me, and I was glad. I went to bed thinking about him telling me that I needed to be punished. I wondered what kind of sex life we had. I didn’t think that I liked it.

The pain pills allowed me to doze off. I slept solidly and sound. I was in a deep sleep when I woke hours later with tears in my eyes. I sat up trying to remember what I had dreamt. I couldn’t remember. The only thing that I had taken from my dream was the name Dawson. I didn’t know who he was, but I knew that my heart ached for him, and I missed him. I hadn’t heard the name Dawson at all. I wondered if Drew knew a Dawson. I decided not to ask him. Maybe he was someone that I had met in France Maybe that was why I was there and not here with Drew.

I lay awake for a long time, trying to remember something, anything. I didn’t care what it was. It’s unexplainable to wake up and not know who you are or where you came from. There were so many questions that nobody could answer for me. I had talked to the lady that cooked for us, but she said that she hadn’t been there that long, and didn’t know me pre-accident. Why did it seem like Drew and Derik were the only two people that I was acquainted with?

I reached for the bottle of pills on my nightstand and took two of them. It was dark, and I didn’t look at them, but they did seem to feel different in my hand. I rolled them around my finger and almost turned the light on to see if they had been replaced with something else.

Oh my God, Stop it, Morgan…

I dry swallowed the pills and was quickly dozing back to a comatose state. I could have sworn that Drew was standing in my room. I could see his shadow or maybe it was the pills that I had just taken. I didn’t feel so good, and it felt like I was drifting down, down, down.

“Don’t worry my little bad girl. You’ll be out in no time. You won’t remember any of this,” Drew said. I was sure that he said it. I think.

I felt his hands slide up my shirt and squeeze both of my nipples. I know I felt it. I think.

He sat me up to remove my shirt, and I couldn’t hold my head up. I was trying to move, but none of my limbs would work. I knew I was naked. I knew my legs were spread open, and I was being touched there, but I couldn’t move.

“Where were you for two years, Morgan?” Drew asked, kissing and sucking on my breast. “Did you really think you were going to get away with it? Uh? Did you, Morgan?”

I was sure that I felt the sting of his hand on my bare ass, but I couldn’t really tell. I thought it stung, but then again, I didn’t really feel anything. Was I drugged? Was this just another bad dream? I had to think. I had to stay focused, but I couldn’t. All I could do was lay there and drift in and out of what was going on. I knew I was being moved around like a rag doll, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t move.

“Open your mouth, bad girl,” Drew said. I was lying on my side, and his fingers were trying to pry my mouth open. I wanted to bite down, but I couldn’t do that either. My jaw muscles wouldn’t work and only parted at his command as I felt his penis slide across my tongue and to the back of my throat.

“Yeah, baby. This is all that you’re good for. You need to learn that real fast. I own you. You do what I want, when I want,” I could hear the words. I knew what he was saying.

I felt him pull out and slide between my legs. He would pump in and out of me fast and hard and then slide back in and out of my mouth. I don’t know how many times he kept up the routine, but I knew. I could taste myself every time he did it.

Drew said, “I brought your favorite toy, bad girl.” I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t really see anything, and what I did see was distorted and distant. I could no doubt feel it. Whatever it was caused and instant orgasm, almost. Whatever he was touching me with would send some sort of current through my female parts, bring me to the peak of orgasm, and stop. If I had been able to speak, I would have been begging to come. It was that intense.

I don’t know how long Drew played with the toy before he flipped me over. I felt him drag my legs so they hung over the bed. He split me open, and I felt something being inserted into my ass. I didn’t think it was him, but I wasn’t sure and then I knew it wasn’t when I felt the vibration. He moved it in and out, making lustful noises and saying perverted things as he did. I felt him smack my naked bottom more than once. I knew it was him shortly after, and he pounded hard and fast into my ass for I don’t know how long. I knew it was over when I heard him moan loudly and steady himself deep inside of me.

The next morning I woke fully clothed, dressed the same as the night before. Did I dream all of that? Was it all just a nightmare? I tried to notice how I felt down below, but I couldn’t assuredly tell. It felt a little off, but I didn’t know if that was just me being paranoid or not. I grabbed the bottle of pills to see if they had been switched. They hadn’t. It was the same little blue pills that I had been taking for over a month, the ones that Dr. Tharp had prescribed when he released me.

I showered and pulled on a pair of jeans and a knit shirt. I went into the kitchen, and Marta had eggs and toast ready for me sitting on the table in the kitchen.

Drew came in shortly after wearing a smile, dressed in his expensive suit.

“Good morning,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

“Good morning,” I replied. I didn’t want to be a bitch if I had imagined the nightmare that I was almost sure took place the night before. I was trying like hell to convince myself that the incident in the car was just a fight, and to not dwell on that either.

Drew ate with me and then disappeared into his office. I needed out of that house. I needed to go someplace where I could think.

I walked right into his office, purposely not knocking. I got the same dirty look for barging in.

“Could you leave us please,” I asked Derik, standing in the same stuffy clothes as Drew.

He blew out a puff of air as if he were saying, in your dreams.

“Go, Derik,” Drew demanded.

He left, but gave me a look that I wasn’t sure of. It was somewhere between a warning and a vengeful expression. I didn’t care.

“I need a car today,” I spit out. I thought Drew was going to fall off his chair.

“You need a car?”

“Yes. I have to get out of this house for a while before I go crazy. I did drive before, didn’t I?”

“Not really. You were driven to where you wanted to go. Don’t you remember what happened the last time you drove?”

“No, Drew. I don’t. I don’t remember any fucking thing,” I smartly replied. How dare he?

“Where do you want to go? I will have Derik drive you.”

“I don’t even want to be in the same room with that man. I want to go alone. I do have a driver’s license,” I stated. I did have a license. My hair was blonde in them, and they were good until my next birthday.

“You don’t like Derik? You liked him before,” he reminded me.

I rolled my eyes. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. I have a feeling that my whole life before the accident was nothing but a lie.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Drew. Can I take your car or not.”

“How long are you going to be gone? Where are you going?”

“I have no idea, but I’m not twelve. I think I will be fine.”

“Why don’t you go to Lennox Park?” he suggested and stood to take his keys from his pocket.

I knew where that was. I don’t know how I knew, but I did.