Chapter 25

 

 

 

 

I was pretty sure I had just fucked everything up once again. Lauren was pissed at me and barely spoke during our last two days at my mother’s. I betrayed Dawson and told him that Drew was gone within an hour. He was. I just didn’t tell him that forty minutes of it were spent fucking me. My mother had lectured me about leading both of them on and needing to decide my future. Like I wasn’t aware that I had a baby to think about now, she felt the need to remind me of that fact too. She pointed out that I couldn’t be Riley when I was with Dawson and Morgan while I was with Drew.

 She still didn’t know the reason behind the whole name change. I had forgotten to mention it until Lauren called me Riley our first day there. She was under the assumption that I pretended to be Riley in order to pull off the affair with Dawson. I was a horrible person, but I wasn’t about to tell her that I ran away from Drew because he had beaten and used me for sex. It would kill her to know that she agreed to walk away from me, knowing what I had been through, so I let her think I was a rotten, cheating soul.

Lauren finally broke on our flight home.

“What are you going to do, Riley?”

I glared at her. It kind of pissed me off. I was pretty sure that it was none of her business.

“Don’t look at me like that. Dawson is my friend and he doesn’t deserve this,” she stated.

Great, now my best friend thought that I was a poor excuse for mankind as well.

“I don’t expect you to understand, Lauren. I don’t even understand it myself. I need them both. They both give me things that I need.”

“You can’t have them both.”

No shit…

“I know that. It’s just hard. Drew is in Las Vegas, and I’m going back to Dawson, aren’t I?”

“You may be going back to him, but the first chance you get, you’ll end up fucking him again. You know it, and I know it.”

“Shhh,” I demanded, looking around the plane.

“You need to tell Dawson what you did, and let him decide.”

“I can’t, Lauren. I can’t hurt him any more than I already have.”

Lauren shook her head. She was disgusted with me, and I felt for the first time that she was looking down on me. I hated that our fun week ended this way. I hated myself for jumping in bed with Drew. I didn’t jump, I freaking dove. I lost all hope as soon as I saw him. Bottom line, I was pathetic.

 

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Dawson was there through my first trimester. He went to all three appointments with me. I truly did hope that he turned out to be the father. He was so excited. I was almost tempted to tell Drew that I did have the paternity test, and the DNA was a perfect match to Dawson’s. Dawson would have raised it as his own, no matter what the outcome was. I knew he would. I didn’t do that, however. I may be crazy, but I wasn’t quite that crazy, yet.

Lauren had forgiven me and was back to waking me up too early and helping herself to my food. Dawson pretty much lived at my house, and Drew had probably moved onto Celeste. I didn’t care.  Yes, I did. No, no, I didn’t. It was better if he had. I knew that we needed to talk and start the divorce procedures. I was procrastinating. I guess I felt like once I did that, it was done, which should have been what I wanted, but it wasn’t.

I hadn’t spoken to Drew for almost three months other than the occasional emails that he sent about business that I didn’t know anything about. I emailed him more than once and told him to do what he wanted, and that was why I had signed the power of attorney.

Dawson was raking leaves one evening when I was about five months pregnant. When I answered the cell phone, I walked back in the house to talk to Drew. Dawson knew who it was and gave me a look, but continued to rake while I disappeared into the house.

“I need you to fly to Kingston,” he blurted without so much as a hello, how are you, how’s the baby?

“Kingston? Kingston what?” I asked.

“Canada. I just purchased a very prestigious jewelry store there, and I need you to sign some papers.”

“I’m not flying to Canada, Drew. Why can’t you do it? And furthermore, what the hell are you doing buying more stores? Don’t you have enough already?”

“I couldn’t pass it up. I can’t do it. I need your signature on this.”

“Drew, I can’t just pick up and fly to Canada.”

“Why?”

“Because, I have a life too.” Geesh.

“Morgan, I need you to do this. You can fly in and right back out. I will send a plane for you.”

“When, Drew?” I asked annoyed.

“Next Thursday.”

“I’m going to have to call you back and let you know.”

“Why do you need to let me know? Do you need permission?”

“Fuck you, Drew. I don’t think you want to talk about asking permission.” How dare him. I had to ask his fucking permission to go to the library. I wasn’t about to take his shit, not for one second.

“There will be a driver to pick you up next Thursday. I will email you the details.”

“I’m not going to Canada, Drew,” I demanded to myself. He was gone, and his name was blinking across my screen.

“Well, what did he want now?” Dawson asked, coming in.

I was still standing there with my blank face, trying to make heads or tails out of Drew’s demands.

“He needs me to fly to Canada and sign for a new property.”

“No.”

“No?” I asked, now annoyed with him. Why the hell couldn’t people realize that I was twenty-seven fucking years old?

“I’m not letting you go there alone, Morgan,” he demanded.

“Then go with me.”

What the fuck? I didn’t want him to go with me. Where the hell did that come from?

“When?” he asked.

“Next Thursday.”

“I can’t. Matt is taking next week off. Reschedule it for the next week and I will.”

I knew that wouldn’t work. Drew didn’t wait on anyone. It was always on his terms.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I lied. I wasn’t even going to mention it to him.

I checked my email religiously for the next five days, and every day there was nothing. I had even told Dawson that he must have changed his mind.

I got the email late Wednesday night.  Dawson was in the shower, and I checked it for about the hundredth time since I had last spoken to him.

Driver will be there at nine in the morning.

Really, Drew? You expect me to just jump on a plane with a twelve hour notice? I emailed right back.

You had five days’ notice.

You’re such an egotistical idiot. I’m not coming.

LOL.

That was his last message in big bold letters. He wouldn’t answer me back when I told him that I was being serious. Now, I either had to really defy him or fight with Dawson. Like an idiot, I chose to fight with Dawson.

“I’m dead serious, Riley. I don’t want you to go there alone. I’m begging you not to go there alone,” Dawson pleaded when I told him.

“It’s a two hour flight, Daw. I will be back by like three or four in the afternoon.”

“I don’t like it,” he said.

Well duh, I knew that.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Stop worrying about me. I will be fine,” I promised.

He laughed when the little one kicked him. My belly had really grown. It seemed like I woke up one morning, and it was there.

“There and back?” he asked, giving in. I was hoping he didn’t stay mad. I needed him to control my raging hormones and hoped that they stayed intact until I got back. I didn’t need to be screwing up and screwing Drew again.

 

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Evidently Gary hadn’t gotten the memo that I was pregnant. His eyes darted straight to my stomach when I answered the door the following morning.

“Um, do you have a bag?” he stuttered.

“No. I’m not staying overnight,” I replied, retrieving my purse. I should have known right that second that I wasn’t coming home that night. The look that Gary gave me told me that I wouldn’t be returning that night.

It was a pretty quick flight. I was driven to a five-star hotel in Kingston and then escorted up to the penthouse suite. After tipping the bellhop, the only thing I could do was laugh. The room was as romantic as I had ever seen. A black sleek evening dress lay across the bed with beautiful shoes to match. I picked up the note and laughed again.

No panties.

Fuck. He was planning on seducing me. My stupid vagina just happened to wake from the dead. How fucking convenient.

I dialed his number right away.

“I’m not staying here, Drew,” I demanded as soon as he said hello.

“Yes, you are,” he replied. I was sure if I could see through the phone that he was grinning from ear to ear.

“No. I’m not. Where am I supposed to go sign these papers? And what the hell am I supposed to do with this dress?” I yelled.

“Yes, you are, the papers will be signed tonight, and you’re supposed to put it on and meet me downstairs for dinner at six,” he rattled off, answering every one of my firing questions.

“Why did I need to be here at eleven in the morning? Where are you planning on staying? Why didn’t you tell me you were planning on me staying, and if you would have been around me over the last few months you would know that my five months pregnant belly is not going to fit in that dress.”

“Look at the tag. Yes, it will. I have to go wrap a few things up. I’ll see you at six.”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me,” I yelled a second too late. “Grrrrr,” I moaned, slamming my phone to the bed.

What the hell was I supposed to do now? I was stuck in a romantic hotel room. Dawson was going to be pissed.

“I’m coming after you,” he yelled into the phone.

Yup. He’s pissed.

“No, you’re not. I’m fine. He said the papers would be ready in the morning, and I will be home by noon,” I lied to him once again thanks to Drew Fucking Kelley.

“How the hell am I supposed to know that he’s not going to take you away someplace, and I can’t find you?”

“He’s not going to do that, Daw. If that were his plan, he would have already done it. I’m not afraid of Drew. I promise; I’m fine and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Dawson groaned through the phone. “Tell me you love me.”

I smiled. “I love you. Don’t worry about me.”

“Take care of my baby.”

“I will. I’ll call you later.”

I was a nervous freaking wreck sitting around that room all day. I sat out on the balcony overlooking the city for a while, but it was cold. I mostly just paced, waiting for six o’clock. This was a mind game. This was just another one of Drew’s sick jokes. He knew I would go nuts with anticipation.

Someone knocked on my door at four o’clock. I opened it to find two women and a cart.

“We’re here to help you get ready, Mrs. Kelley,” the younger of the two said.

I never said a word. I just snorted and let them in.

“Would you like a shower first?” the same girl asked.

I didn’t know why I said yes. I’d just showered that morning, but I did want to freshen up my legs. Yes. I was already thinking about the night ahead with Drew. I was still going to be strong and refuse to let him stay with me, but I knew how un-resilient I seemed to be around him so just in case, I showered.

The ladies blow dried my hair, curled it, did my nails, toes and fingers, my makeup, and then helped me with my dress. I thanked them and waited another thirty minutes to meet Drew in the dining room. I looked in the full length mirror, and for a fat chick, I looked hot.

I knew how anal Drew was about punctuality and decided to make him wait. I smiled down at my phone when I was being escorted to his table, fifteen minutes late. He lowered his when he saw me.

“You are stunning,” he said, standing and kissing my cheek.

Fuck fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Drew wasn’t wearing his sexy jeans or his customary suit. He was in gray dress slacks with a black cashmere sweater with the sleeves pushed up on his arms. He was sporting a neatly trimmed five o’clock shadow, and I was no longer hungry, not for food anyway. I wanted to fucking devour him right there.

“Flying solo,” I asked, trying to keep cool.

He smiled. He knew exactly what I was hinting at. “Yes. She’s in Vegas.”

“Where’s the paperwork?”

“We’re not signing it until tomorrow morning.”

Other than the fact that I didn’t really lie to Dawson, I was pissed. I didn’t want to be Drew’s pawn.

I stood up. I would meet him the next morning for the important business that he insisted that I had to be there twenty-four hours early for.

He lightly took my wrist. “Sit down, Morgan,” he demanded. I didn’t want to sit down. I wanted to tell him to fuck off and make a scene right there. I couldn’t. His spellbinding stare forced me to sit; besides he rented out the whole fucking room. We were the only ones there.

He smiled. “How’s my baby?” he asked.

You have got to be kidding me.

“My baby is doing great,” I smartly said.

He grinned. “You might want to watch the tone. I have been waiting for three months to bend you over my knee.”

Stupid fucking vagina. You do remember that we are panty-less?”

“What do you want Drew?” I asked, exasperated.

He stood and took my hand. “Let’s dance.”

Huge mistake. Being in Drew’s arms, smelling him, touching him, feeling his heartbeat, did something to me. I can’t explain that either. It just did. There was a chemistry between us that Dawson and I didn’t have. We never did. This understanding between Drew and me was something that had always been there, even when I hated him, and it confused the hell out of me. But I also knew what Drew and I had been about… passion and that passion was in the bedroom. Drew wouldn’t be the man that I wanted to help raise my baby.

“Are you wearing panties,” he asked.

 Drew had a one track mind, and it was focused right between my thighs.

I shook my head. “No,” I answered, looking up to his accomplished smile.

He lowered his hand to the side of my belly and his lips to mine, and I freaking parted them for him. I even moaned into his mouth. I was doomed.

“You need to come, don’t you?” he whispered, kissing my neck as I moved it back and to the side giving him full access.

“Yes,” I whispered back.

Drew slid his hand between my legs, raising just the front of my dress. I grabbed his hand and regained my equanimity.

“I didn’t mean right now,” I protested.

“Move your hand,” he demanded.

What the fuck? I looked around at the empty room and moved my hand. I thought for sure I would fall when I felt his fingers glide slowly up my throbbing, betraying, wet pussy.

“Fuck, Morgan,” he rasped in the crook of my neck as his fingers did forbidding things in a public setting. I could only respond with a moan.

I was going to fucking come. I was going to let go right there on the empty dance floor. He ground into me, and I could feel his rock hard rod on my stomach. I wanted him. I wanted him inside of me right that second. I would have lain spread eagle right there on the marble dance floor. I didn’t care who saw. I actually felt a little excitement at the thought of being watched.

“Shit, Drew,” I whimpered.

“Come to me, baby,” he whispered. I did. We shared a moan in each other’s mouth as my walls constricted around his fingers.

 “I hate you,” I panted.

Drew laughed and removed his fingers from me. I looked around once again at the empty room. It was one of those times when you felt as though you were being watched. Whether we were or not, I didn’t know, but it sure felt as there were eyes staring at us.

“I love you, and I love you,” he said, bending and kissing my belly.

Great…

Drew led me back to the table, and I knew for sure we were being watched during our public, well, my public orgasm, I should say. As soon as we were seated, we were served our meals. I wasn’t surprised that Drew had already ordered. He was known for ordering for me. I didn’t mind. He always did okay.

“You can’t stay with me,” I told Drew matter-of-fact. He couldn’t. I was trying my best to be true to Dawson. If I let him come anywhere close to me where there was an accessible bed, I was finished. Hell, I had just let him finger me on the freaking dance floor for God’s sake.

“Yes, I can,” he said, twirling the noodles around his fork.

“Drew, what the hell are you trying to do here?”

“I’m trying to get my wife to understand that I intend to fuck her senseless tonight and then she’s going to fall asleep naked in my arms. You’re a pretty smart girl. I don’t think you need a comprehensive walk-through.”

“Jesus Christ, Drew. I haven’t even talked to you in almost three months. What the hell makes you think that you can just insist that I fly here, have dinner with you, and then go to bed with you? You’re crazy, and I mean that literally. I don’t want to sleep with you.”  I demanded. Of course, he smiled that stupid sexy smile that went straight to my groin again.

“Let me stay with you, and I promise I won’t touch you unless you tell me to.”

Like I could do that. I shook my head and pushed my almost finished plate away. I was having sex with this man. It was inevitable.

“Tell me how the doctor appointments are going,” he coaxed, stabbing my half eaten steak with his fork and placing it on his plate. My hand automatically went to my stomach. I rubbed in circles as I looked up to this beautiful man, defeated.

“They’re going fine. Dawson thinks I need help. He thinks I have Stockholm syndrome.”

What? Where the fuck did that come from?

Drew laughed. “Are you saying that you are in love with me?”

“You’re so stupid sometimes.”

“And I think this pregnancy is making you a little cranky, eh?”

“You make me cranky. You think I’m just supposed to bow down and do whatever you want, when you want.”

“If you did everything that I wanted, you would be home with me, in my bed.”

“We need to start divorce procedures.”

That would piss him off.

“I’m not giving you a divorce,” he stated matter-of-fact.

I laughed that time. “You’re not?”

“Nope. Do you want dessert?”

“No. What do you mean you’re not giving me a divorce?”

“I mean that I’m not giving you a divorce,” he repeated.

“Why?”

“Because I love you and I want you to be my wife, and you want to be my wife. The sooner you realize that, and quit trying to play house with Robocop in a small town, the better off we’ll both be.”

“I’m not trying to play house with anyone.” I was getting pissed. The nerve of this man.

“Let’s go,” he said, standing and taking my hand.

“Go where?”

“To our room,” he replied, pulling me close and kissing my lips. I kept my lips still in a straight line. I wasn’t kissing him back. He needed to grow up and realize that the world didn’t spin just because he was on it.

I knew that I wasn’t going to win. I knew that I would be sleeping between the luxurious Egyptian sheets with Drew. I didn’t have to do anything with him though. I would stay away from him. I had just started a good book on my iPad. I would read and ignore him.

“Drew, I have to call Dawson, and you can’t make a sound,” I demanded once we were back in the room.

He tightened his lips and pretended to zip them. I slipped out of the heels and stared at him lying across the bed.

Shit. How the hell was I supposed to talk to Dawson with him sprawled out looking like that?

“Hey sweetie,” Dawson answered on the first ring.

“Hi,” I said, sitting in one of the ornamental wing back chairs, staring directly at Drew, who wasn’t taking his eyes off of me.

“How was dinner?”

 “It was okay,” I lied. It was far from okay. It still wasn’t okay. Drew was undressing me with his eyes. I had to cross my legs to calm the quivering. It didn’t help.

“How were things between you and Drew?”

“Intense,” that was the only word to describe Drew.

“Did you mention the divorce?”

“I did, but we weren’t alone, so I didn’t go too much into it.”

“You’re going to tell him before you leave, right?”

“Yes, Dawson.”

“Does that make you mad, Ry?” he asked, catching my tone. “I thought we talked about this.”

“We did. No. I’m not mad, just tired. I will talk to you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay, get some rest and take care of my baby. I love you.”

“Love you too,” I quickly said.

I dropped my phone on the table and crossed my arms over my growing midsection.

“You’re such a liar,” Drew smirked.

“Shut the hell up,” I shot back. I was so frustrated.

“Why do you feel the need to lie to him, but you make sure that I’m very aware of what’s going on in Misty Bay?”

“I don’t make you aware of anything. You’re just a nosey son of a bitch.”

“But you don’t lie to me about Dawson. I know you’re fucking him. He has no clue that you’re fucking me, does he?”

“He doesn’t know because I am not fucking you, and furthermore, you and I are not together.”

“So you’re going to go home and tell him that I stayed here with you even if I don’t touch you?”

“No.”

“Thought so.”

“I thought you told me that you were going to leave me alone.”

“I did. I haven’t talked to you in almost three months.”

“Then what the hell is this, Drew?”

“I really did need you to come and sign these papers. I just figured I may as well kidnap you for a night. I’m starting to go through Morgan withdrawal.”

I smiled at that, shaking my head. What I did next not only surprised him, but me also. I got up and went to him, pushing him back on the bed and straddling him.

“You know that I hate you, don’t you?” I asked.

His hands went up my bare legs. I knew that I was flashing him, and to my surprise he never looked. He was looking into my eyes with a hungry, adoring, loving, and indulgent look.

“That’s a shame because I love you more than life, and I love this,” he said, running his hand over my round belly.

“You know, one of you is going to be wrong.”

“It’s mine. I know it,” he said, knowing exactly what I was talking about.

I slowly moved my lips to his and kissed him like I never wanted to let him go.  I didn’t want to let him go. I just wanted Dawson too. I needed Dawson to keep some normality in my life.

Drew rolled me over not letting our lips lose contact. I wasn’t sure where this Drew was coming from, but he took his good old sweet time with me. He kissed and sucked all over my upper body while he made slow passionate love to me. I felt like I was floating. There was none of his dominating sex hang ups, just pure making love. I didn’t like it. I mean I did, but I didn’t. This wasn’t the fucked up Drew. This was the Drew that loved me and was showing me just how much.

We watched a movie after our love making session. He kept his hand on my naked belly, and I lay curled up in his arms. I was doing nothing but torturing myself. I belonged there, but I belonged in Dawson’s arms too. What the hell was I supposed to do with these two men? Most women would be flattered to have two men chasing after them, not me. Maybe had I not loved them both it could have been flattering, but it was agony. I knew that if this baby turned out to be Drew’s, Dawson wouldn’t leave me, but Drew would never let me go. I wasn’t sure how things would go if it turned out to be Dawson’s. Would Drew let me go then? Maybe that would put an end to all of this madness. Maybe I just needed to let this little baby decide.

I woke to Drew’s fingers between my legs sometime in the middle of the night. That session was beyond slow love making. That was the dark Drew that had me doing every kinky thing imaginable. Including getting off of the bed to place my hands on the side, and like a good little submissive, I did everything he told me to do. I was as sick as him. I loved it, and I’m not sure that I had ever had so many orgasms in one night.

I woke naked and wrapped securely in Drew’s arms. His hand was on the side of my baby belly. I looked up to see if he was still sleeping. He wasn’t. He bent and kissed me.

“This little guy is going crazy,” he smiled.

“He always does first thing in the morning, and he is wreaking havoc on my bladder right now,” I replied and got up to go to the bathroom.

“Come right back to me,” Drew requested. I smiled.

I didn’t come right back. I relieved myself and dug through my purse for the small tube of toothpaste and my toothbrush. I brushed my teeth, rinsed my mouth and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

“Drew!” I screamed. I really screamed. Had I been able to see through the wall I was sure that he was lying there with a big smirky smile.

“You fucking idiot,” I ranted.

“What?” he asked, feigning stupidity.

“I can’t believe you did this. What the hell?” I asked as he pulled me back to his naked body.

He towered over me with a smile. “I like it, I think it looks good on you,” he stated looking at my breasts.

“You did that on purpose. You’re animal marking your territory, and I don’t find it a bit funny.” It was huge. The bite mark was as big as a fifty cent piece, just above my right breast. How the hell was I supposed to keep Dawson from seeing that? He wanted Dawson to see it. What the hell did I see in this idiot?

“How about I make a matching one right here?” he asked, kissing and sucking on my breast.

“Don’t you dare,” I demanded, grabbing his hair and pulling him off me. I’m not sure what the hell happened next. He looked up at me with a stare that entranced our vision. I couldn’t see anything but him in my life, and I was sure he was seeing the same thing.

“I love you, Morgan,” he whispered.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

 This trip did nothing but screw everything up again. I loved that he loved me, and I loved him beyond belief. Drew kissed me and then moved between my legs and made slow obsessive love to me.

We showered together, and I had to wear the clothes that I had arrived in. I didn’t bring one thing. I hadn’t planned on staying overnight. I didn’t mind. It was only a two hour flight. At least I had my toothbrush.

I signed Drew’s papers, and he signed just below my name. We ate a late breakfast together, and I had to get mad at him, before he stopped begging me to go home with him. I wanted to. Believe me, I wanted to, but I couldn’t. Dawson was waiting for me, and I had to go home to him. I had spent the last three months trying my damnedest to make things the way they had been before with him. We were doing well, and I couldn’t jeopardize screwing that up. Drew was not the type of man I wanted to help raise my child. He just wasn’t.

“You are going to call me Wednesday, right?” he asked.

I sipped my decaffeinated coffee and tried to think of why I would be calling him on Wednesday.

“You’re calling me as soon as you find out the sex of my baby. Remember?”

“Oh, yes. I will call,” I promised, remembering the conversation the night before.

We stood outside on the blacktop for what seemed like forever. He wouldn’t let me get on the plane.

“Drew, I’m freezing. I have to go.”

“Can I call you?”

Yes. He could call. I wanted him to call. The only problem with that was Dawson. He was with me every night.

“Will you call during the day?” I asked.

He kissed me and let me go. “Probably not. I don’t much care what your boyfriend thinks.” I didn’t know if that meant that he wouldn’t call at all, or he would call in the evening while Dawson was there.

I spent my short flight, trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do. I knew what made sense. I knew what the safer choice was. I knew life would be a lot simpler in Misty Bay. I knew what choice people in their right mind would make. I wasn’t in my right mind, far from it.

Gary dropped me off at my house around two in the afternoon. I did an online search on how to get rid of my new love bite from Drew. I tried toothpaste, ice, witch hazel, heat, and brushing a comb over the area. Nothing worked. I had no choice but to not let Dawson see me without a shirt until the stupid thing went away.