I stabbed at the pieces of lettuce in my lunch salad like I was spearing fish for dinner off a tropical beach. I looked up at Karen and grumbled, “Can you believe it? He actually asked me, ‘Is that all there is?’ What kind of an a-hole asks that?”

Karen ate a french fry and said, “Well, you let him get to you. That’s your mistake. Just let it go, Jordan.”

Karen was a fellow teacher at the high school and one of my best friends. She was the advanced placement English teacher for juniors and seniors. She was also a William Faulkner fanatic. Most people have difficulty reading his books at all. She reads them for fun when she’s going to bed at night.

I sort of heard Karen’s comment, but I kept on rambling anyway. I said, “It was a boring evening. He rambled on and on about his family’s house out in the suburbs and the wealthy people that his parents know, but I didn’t want to send him off thinking that the evening was a horrible failure. So I gave him a kiss goodnight.”

“But the evening was a horrible failure. You kissed him even though you didn’t like him?” asked Karen.

Sighing heavily, I said, “I was trying to be nice. So I kissed him, and he literally shoved his tongue into my mouth. I love a great tongue kiss as much as any guy, but I felt violated. It was awful, and then he started to suck on my tongue. He sucked like someone sucking on a straw trying to get the last bit of slushie in the bottom of the cup.”

Karen cringed. “You didn’t have to be quite so graphic, Jordan.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, but you get the picture. After all that, he had the balls to actually look me in the eye and ask, ‘Is that all there is?’”

Karen giggled lightly, and she said, “I’m really sorry, but this would be really funny in a sitcom episode.”

I stabbed at the lettuce again and said, “Yeah, I guess so. I so wanted to say, ‘No, that’s not all there is, there’s this, too,’ and then knee him in the balls so hard that he had to double up and walk bent over to the car.”

She said, “Yeah, and then a loser like that would call the police.”

“I did get one chance to really laugh about it. About half an hour later, he sent me a text message and said, ‘I had a good time, Jordan. I hope to hear from you soon.’”

Karen giggled again. “You’ve got a fan, Jordan. Maybe he’s a masochist, a glutton for punishment.”

I just shook my head. “I could live with fewer fans like that.”

“So what does your summer look like?” asked Karen. “School is almost out isn’t it?”

“Just a couple of weeks left to go, and then I think I’m the only teacher who really does spend a lot of the summer preparing for the next school year. Do you do that? I’ve got some new ideas I heard about at a professional conference, and I want to see if I can work them into my overall schedule for the year.”

Karen said, “It doesn’t work out the same way as what you do, but I cram in reading novels all summer long. Some of them are the classics that I’ve missed along the way, and then I also try and catch up with some of the best contemporary literature. My relatives all think I have the easiest job in the world just reading all summer long. But it’s not just pleasure reading. I’m sure you understand how that is different.”

I asked, “You don’t do any pleasure reading at all.”

She smiled and said, “Okay, I’ll fess up. I do load a few ebook romances on my reader. Everybody needs a little bit of down time.”

I smiled and said, “It makes perfect sense to me.” Then I added, “I’ve got another summer project for myself, too.”

“Learning to bake bread?” asked Karen. “Traveling to London? Kayaking on the Milwaukee River?”

“Actually those all sound like a lot of fun. No, what I really want is a boyfriend.”

Karen grinned. “Are you serious? I mean, you’re only in your second year of teaching. I expect things are still really stressful. I’m only in my fifth year, but it’s so much better now. At the end of the second year, I was ready to quit. I would have been a grouchy mess with a boyfriend.”

I said, “I just think I’m ready. I’m a little tired of every night alone, and the one-night stands are even worse in some ways. I want a regular guy. It doesn’t have to be the forever guy, but at least six months of something predictable.” I looked up to the ceiling. “Is that too much to ask?”

Karen scrunched up her mouth and said, “Sometimes, yes. Sometimes it really is too much to ask. The single life really isn’t all that bad. I’m going to enjoy my solo summer.”

“I hope by the end of the summer, mine will be just like that song from Grease.”

“From Grease?” asked Karen. “I’m the geeky girl who’s never actually seen it.”

I said, “It’s called ‘Summer Nights,’ except they actually break up by the beginning of the song. For me, it’s just going to be the prequel to a fantastic school year. Do you want me to sing the song for you?”

Karen waved her hand and said, “No, Jordan. I think I’ll pass on that. I’ll trust you on the worthiness of the song. I do have a piece of advice, though.”

“About the dating?”

Karen nodded. “Yes, about the dating. Judging from what you said about your glorious date last night, I want to make one suggestion. Please take this in the spirit it is intended. I suggest that maybe you need a man with a little more maturity. A man with a little more heft. One who doesn’t suck on your tongue like he’s slurping a slushie.”

I laughed out loud and then nodded in agreement. I said, “I will definitely see what I can do.” One man immediately came to mind, and his name was Marshall Easterling.