September

Anna—Fourteen Years Old

Sometimes, I think I don’t know anything.

I could’ve sworn Wes had feelings for me, just like I have feelings for him. But I must’ve imagined it. Why else would he tell me to go to homecoming with someone else?

Boys make no sense.

I pick up my phone and call Molly.

“So? What happened? What did he say?” she answers.

“Um, what happened to hello? What if it was someone else?”

“Caller ID told me it was you. Now, spill.”

I sigh, too sad to say the words out loud.

“Oh, honey! I’m guessing he didn’t get insanely jealous, confess his love for you, and ask you to go to homecoming, to be his girlfriend, and someday get married and have his babies.”

“That would be a no.” I sniffle.

“What an asshole!”

“He’s not; you know that,” I defend.

“Well, it’s his loss.”

I sniffle again, tears welling up despite my best efforts to hold them back.

“I’m serious! I’ll go kick his ass.”

This makes me chuckle, though it comes out kind of like a sob. “Don’t kick his ass. I’m just his best friend’s little sister. I don’t know why I thought he could ever see me as more.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s something there. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. But, apparently, he’s too chickenshit to be honest with you. And, Anna?”

“Hmm?”

“You deserve better than that. You are gorgeous, inside and out. And I think you need to give Charlie a chance.”

“I don’t know. Is it really fair to Charlie if I go with him when I’m kind of hung up on someone else?”

“He didn’t ask you to be his girlfriend. He asked you to go to a dance. So, go. Get dressed up, dance with a gorgeous guy, and have some fun. If nothing else, you have fun with a new friend. You never know; you might like him.”

“Charlie is a nice guy.”

“And hot.”

“Okay. I’ll go with him as friends.”

“Good girl. Text him right now, so you can’t change your mind.”

My best friend knows me so well. “Okay. See you tomorrow.”

I hang up and find the phone number Charlie wrote down for me earlier.

“Come on, Anna, we’re going to be late!” John shouts.

“I’m coming!” I grab my book bag and run downstairs, searching everywhere for my black shoes. Why do they always hide from me?

“If you’re not in the car in one minute, I’m leaving without you.”

My brain is about to explode. “Fine,” I snap.

Tears prick my eyes as I search for any two matching shoes. I stuff my feet into my tennis shoes, run out to John’s car, and slam the door. I buckle myself in and stare out the window as we head to school, wishing I could just stay home today. I don’t want to see Wes. And I’m having second thoughts about going to homecoming with Charlie.

“Is it that time of the month?” John asks warily, casting a sidelong glance in my direction.

I sigh. “You think, every time I’m in a bad mood, it’s because of my period.”

“Fair point. So…is something wrong? You aren’t your usual chipper self this morning.”

I continue to stare out the window and shrug. I don’t know if he knows about my crush on Wesley, but I’m sure not going to tell him about it now.

“Okaaay. Are you upset that you didn’t get asked to homecoming yet?”

“I did get asked.”

“Oh, yeah? Who asked you?”

“This guy in my class. Charlie,” I tell him, rubbing my lower lip.

“Don’t sound so thrilled about it. Do you not want to go with him?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping someone else would ask me.”

“Who?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I smooth my hands down my jeans and tug at my shirt, wishing I’d thought to do a load of laundry last night. I hate this shirt; it’s too…clingy.

“I’m going to try to convince Wesley to go with Ellen. She’s Gina’s best friend, and she has a thing for him.”

My stomach burns at the thought of Wesley getting together with Ellen. With anyone really. What’s wrong with me?

“Awesome.” I cross my arms over my chest.

John looks at me, eyebrows raised. “You don’t like Ellen?”

I sigh. “No, she’s fine. I mean, I don’t know her.”

“Uh-huh. Okay.” His brows furrow, as if he’s trying to figure me out, as he parks the car. “Have a good day, Anna Banana.”

I flash him my fakest smile ever. “Thanks.”

The morning is uneventful. I manage to steer clear of Wes and Charlie. But I know my luck won’t hold out much longer, as I usually see Wes on the way to lunch and Charlie during.

I stop at my locker to change books and freeze when I hear a familiar voice. Followed by a feminine giggle. I peek around my locker and see Wes and Ellen leaning against the wall where the stretch of lockers ends. Wes is facing me, but I don’t think he’s seen me. I hold very still, keeping most of myself hidden from view as I watch their exchange. I can’t hear what they’re saying, just the sound of their voices and her giggles.

Ugh. Why does she have to giggle so much? How annoying. He doesn’t like girls who giggle, does he?

He must because he smiles at her.

He. Smiles. At. Her.

Wes rarely smiles at anyone, but he’s smiling at Ellen. And nodding.

My throat tightens. Why is he nodding at her?

Then time seems to slow down. Because he leans down and kisses her. It’s not long. Just two seconds where his lips touch hers.

But those two seconds change everything.

My heartbeat slows as spots dance in front of me.

The sense of betrayal that constricts my lungs is stupid. I mean, he told me last night to go with Charlie to homecoming. So, I shouldn’t be surprised.

But seeing him kiss another girl with my very own eyes? It shuts down any hope I had that he would come to his senses.

Wesley doesn’t want me. Period.

End of story.

I refuse to be the silly sister of his best friend, who harbors a crush on him despite all the evidence that he doesn’t want me.

I square my shoulders and take a deep breath, blowing the air out of my mouth.

One more deep breath in and out.

It’s going to be okay. I’m fine.

Perfectly fine.

He’s never lied to me. He’s never led me on. He’s never promised me anything. We’re just friends.

I finger the necklace he gave me, and all of a sudden, it feels like it’s choking me. I can’t wear it for one more second, so I unfasten it and drop it into my purse.

There. That’s better.

I focus on my locker, checking to make sure I have the books I need for the afternoon, and slam it shut. It’s loud enough that several people glance at me, including Ellen and Wes.

Oops.

I walk briskly toward the cafeteria, flashing them a tight smile and nod while keeping my eyes trained on my destination.

My steps are sure as I walk away from Wes. It’s time for a new chapter. Something easy and light and fun.

“Anna!”

I turn my head to find Charlie waving me over. He’s so happy to see me, smile wide, dimples popping out, face open and friendly.

I can’t help but smile back as I make my way over to him. “Hey.”

His eyes twinkle at me as he takes me in. “Wanna sit here?” He indicates the open seat beside him. He doesn’t realize, but the question means more to me than where I’m going to sit for lunch today.

Everything about Charlie is easy and light and fun.

“Yes, I do.”

“Awesome. This is Max and Logan.”

“Hi, guys!”

“Anna! Hi.”

“I hear you’ve agreed to go to homecoming with this goof.” The dark haired one—I think Max?—smiles at Charlie.

I flush. Charlie has clearly told his friends about me. “I did.”

“That’s because you haven’t seen him dance yet. You need to wear shin guards,” Logan says.

“Why am I friends with you guys again?” Charlie shakes his head in mock hurt, then turns to me, ocean-blue eyes staring right at me. “I promise I won’t hurt you.”

He’s talking about dancing. I know that. But my heart flutters in my chest all the same. How could he know that’s exactly what I needed to hear?

Wesley

Nausea crawls up my throat as I pull back from Ellen. I want to wipe off my lips.

I always thought my first kiss would be with Anna, but Bryce’s threat rings in my ears, loud and clear. I need to convince her there is no chance for anything more between us than friendship.

John gave me the perfect opportunity to sell this to her. He mentioned Ellen had a thing for me. Instead of brushing him off like I usually do, I told him to have her meet me in the hall by the cafeteria before lunch, knowing Anna stopped here at this time every day.

I’m dying to check and see if she saw, but I can’t be a complete asshole to Ellen. She doesn’t deserve to be an unknowing participant in my scheme. She doesn’t deserve to have her feelings played with either. I vow to keep things casual between us. No need for me to break her heart or put her in danger.

Ellen sighs and opens her eyes, her cheeks pink and a small smile on her lips. She touches her lips, as if she can’t believe I just kissed her.

I still can’t believe I just kissed her.

“So, you really want to go out on Saturday with John and Gina?”

I nod, my throat too tight to form words.

“But I can’t convince you to go to homecoming?”

“Sorry, homecoming isn’t my thing.”

A locker slams, and I look up, heart sinking when I see Anna’s face.

Oh God. My sweet angel is trying so hard to keep it together. Her face is hard, determined, and she flashes us a tight smile as she passes.

It takes everything in me not to run after her and apologize. To tell her it hurt me as much as it hurt her.

Then, I see her neck, and my whole body grows hot. She took off the necklace. She was wearing it this morning; I’m sure of it. She’s worn it every day since I gave it to her. But it’s gone now.

I try to swallow and almost choke on my regret.

“Want to go to lunch?” Ellen’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

“You know, I forgot to study for my history exam, so I’m going to go cram. I’ll see you Saturday, okay?” I couldn’t eat if you paid me.

“Sounds good. Good luck on your test.”

I nod and make my way toward the exit. I have to walk through the cafeteria to get to the parking lot. My eyes scan the room for Anna without my permission.

She’s with Charlie. This was my plan.

Mission accomplished.

My steps falter when I see her smile at him and his friends, and I rub at the dull ache in my chest.

Hello, self-loathing. Long time no see.

I make my way out of the building and decide to walk home.

This is the best way to keep Anna safe. I just wish it didn’t hurt so bad.