Anna

It feels like a year has passed instead of a month since my last session with Katie. I usually see her twice a month but had to cancel my last appointment. In fact, I think this might be my last session for a while.

“You look happy today,” she notes, eyes twinkling.

“I am. So much has happened since the last time I was here.”

“Tell me.”

So, I fill her in on the important parts. Wes’s arrest, his release, our engagement, moving into John’s house, and finally, volunteering at the children’s hospital.

She looks overwhelmed. “Wow. You’ve had quite the month. And it sounds like you’re continuing to make choices you’re proud of.”

I’m vibrating with enthusiasm. “Yes! I’m so proud of the way I handled Wes’s arrest. I think part of him just expected to rot away in jail again while we all carried on as if nothing happened. But he needed me, and instead of running away, furiously cleaning my apartment, and escaping reality with a book, I was there for him.”

“Did it feel good?” She smiles like she already knows my answer.

“Yes. God, yes. It was scary. But I’d have hated myself if I ran away from that. I didn’t even consider it.”

“How does your family feel about you two as a couple?”

“Seems like they already knew we would end up together eventually. I’m relieved we aren’t hiding anymore.”

“And volunteering at the hospital? How do you do with the kids?”

“The first time was…a bit shaky. I don’t think I could have done it without Neil there. He took me under his wing and introduced me to everyone. The kids are…” I swallow thickly, remembering their sweet, innocent faces, so excited to hear stories. “The kids are amazing. I love being around them.”

“Even the difficult ones?”

I grin. There have been a few testy teenagers. But getting a smile out of them was a thousand times more rewarding as getting a smile from a five-year-old. “Especially the difficult ones. In fact, I’m thinking of going back to school.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve looked into a few psychology courses,” I admit for the first time out loud.

“Anna! You’re just full of surprises today!”

I chuckle. “I don’t know for sure. But the idea of helping teens going through depression fills me with anxiety, trepidation, and excitement. I had good counselors and bad ones…but I think I could be one of the good ones.”

“I agree.” She beams at me like a proud parent, staring at me like I’m a different person.

I feel like a different person.

“Thank you. I know I was stubborn in my self-loathing. Thank you for sticking with me.”

She shrugs. “It’s my pleasure. You just needed to be ready.”

I nod. I needed to see that I was more than just my mistakes.

I can’t change the past, but I’m in control of my future.

“Is it unprofessional for you to hug me?”

She shakes her head, standing to wrap her arms around me. She smells of floral shampoo and fabric softener, clean and comforting.

After an extra squeeze, she stands back, holding on to my shoulders. “Do me a favor.”

“What?”

“Stay off my schedule.”

“Hey! Is that what you say to all your patients?”

“I mean it. You don’t need me anymore. Live life to the fullest, Anna. And let me know if you need any advice with the psychology programs.”

“Okay. I can do that. Take care, Katie.”

“Take care, Anna.”

“The end.” I close The Very Hungry Caterpillar and smile at the five sets of eyes and ears watching my every move and hanging on my every word.

“One more time, Miss Anna, pleeeeeeease?” four-year-old Rocky begs.

This book is his favorite, and I chose it because he’ll likely go home before my next visit.

“What about this one, Miss Anna? Can you read this one, too?” Five-year-old Chloe waves a book at me.

I laugh at the barrage of requests, stretching my arms for them to come up and give me a hug. “We don’t have time for another one, but you can take these copies home, so your parents can read them to you, too.”

Little arms wrap around my neck, my waist, my back, my face, and I laugh as we almost fall over in a heap. I say good-bye to each one, knowing, if they’re lucky, they won’t be here next week. That’s the goal—for them to get better and go home.

Rocky lingers, so I give him an extra squeeze. His blue eyes are so bright; they remind me of Wesley’s eyes, and for the first time, I wonder what our kids might look like, if we ever have kids. Instead of panic and regret, the thought fills me with…happiness.

Thursdays are my favorite day of the week. Neil and I visit together, and I bring new books whenever I can. After I told some authors and publishers about my story hour, they agreed to donate a certain number of books a month. Group story sessions are for the kids who are well enough to leave their rooms, but for those who are hooked up to monitors or are less mobile, I go to them and read whatever they request.

“I’m going to miss you, Miss Anna.”

“I’m going to miss you, too, Rocky. But I’m so happy you’re well enough to go home soon. And you can always visit me at the bookstore. The address is on the inside of the cover, so your parents can bring you anytime.”

His face brightens. “Really?”

I nod. “Really.”

“Okay, see you soon, Miss Anna! Bye.”