CHAPTER 12

 

Two Years Ago—The Tease

 

Asher: Now it's my turn to ask you a profound question. Do dust mites think of vacuum cleaners as black holes? And if so, do they wonder what's beyond the event horizon? Close your jaw, Sloane. Turnabout's fair play. You get to ask dumb questions, so do I.

Charis: All right, fair enough., Hm, so, event horizon. Is an event horizon like when you're at a fundraiser and the canapes are disgusting and the night goes on forever?

Asher: Yeah, Sloane. That's what it is.

Charis: I thought so. Eek! What was that f—okay, okay, uncle, UNCLE! I was messing with you cause you're always messing with me. I know an event horizon is the edge of a black hole and a black hole has all the crap. ALL THE CRAP, YO!

Asher: Nobody messes with me and gets away with it. Is that the last time? Is it?

Charis: It's the last time, except, okay, I lie, I lie, I'm still gonna mess with you. I'm never gonna stop messing with you. Stop, stop, cease, I'm not ticklish, I'm not, you're wasting your time, bro.

Asher: Bro? Bro? We blood now?

Charis: Not bro!

Asher: That's better.

 

Asher

 

I MIGHT HAVE FUCKED UP.

I might have sort of fucked my relationship with Charis all to hell.

By saying she was desperate to be kissed, I might have done that.

On the other hand, what could I have said?

I wanted to fuck your beautiful mouth with my tongue, Char, so I did. And my cock got so hard that when you withdrew it felt like a gut punch.

Yeah, that would fly.

But there it was. I could still taste her, and it had been over twelve hours.

Those silly books my sister Ryanna is always reading where guys take one look at a girl with a magic pussy and fall in love? Raises hand. That's me.

A couple of days ago I was kinda, sorta, half-assedly trying to get along with my girlfriend. Then suddenly that's over and now I have a hard-on that won't quit for my bestie.

I'd become a fictional character.

It was ego-crushing.

Getting the text from Aura from out of the blue didn't help matters.

I'm so upset about our fight. Call me. We need to work this out or I'm afraid we'll be through for real.

I stared at the letters, trying to get them to make sense. What did she mean, afraid?

We were through. The words had been said. The deal had been shaken on. Good-bye, have a nice life.

Maybe I hadn't been sufficiently clear. I dialed her, annoyed.

"Hi, you." Her voice sounded hoarse, shaky.

I felt the glimmerings of guilt, a Pavlovian response to her distress signals. Over the years, I'd let myself be conditioned well. "Aura, there's nothing to talk about. We're done."

"Oh, God." She burst into sobs. "I was so afraid of that. I was so afraid you meant it, Ash. And now you're saying you did. Oh God, oh please, I can't believe it. Oh, God. I can't handle this."

The good news? Her outbursts used to have me riding to the rescue. Now I seemed to have broken the chain somehow. All sense of guilt evaporated. I found myself checking the time on my phone. My last exam of the quarter was in a few hours. Essential to my future or not, I felt obligated to study for it.

"Trust me, you'll be fine."

"Asher, please, there are things you don't know. Things deep in my past I was afraid to share with you. I think it's time. We need to work them out—together. I know we can get past this."

Yeah, a day fucking late and a dollar short. Cruel to be kind it would have to be.

"Aura, we both know there's only one thing that can help you. You need to see a counselor and work out your problems so you can get past this shit."

"I know, I know. If I promise to get therapy, for real this time, will you listen to me? Could you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

It dawned on me that she fully expected me to say yes. "Let me be clear. I hope you get the help you need. But you and me, we're not happening. There's no redeeming this. The probability of our getting back together is zero."

"I can hear anger in your voice. I've hurt you. I didn't know I'd hurt you so much. You're always so strong, I forget how tender you are inside, Ash."

Now she cared? Sure she did. "I'm over it," I said crisply. "Take care of yourself."

I felt her silent fury. If she could have, I have no doubt she'd have slammed the phone down then.

As it was, she disconnected with controlled calm.

I hoped it meant she'd finally accepted reality.

Yet somehow my confidence in that outcome was nonexistent.

 

KARL WORKED AT A COFFEE shop in the Village. It had been years since I'd visited him at one of his jobs. He'd held a shit ton of them in his life, some at home in Detroit or New Highland, others on the road. One and all, they were short-lived, easy-come, easy go stints.

I halted at seeing my oldest brother leaning on the counter in his coffee clothes smiling at coffee customers, like he lived, ate and breathed coffee, when I knew he hated the stuff. But that was Karl. He didn't care what he did to earn a living.

What didn't surprise me was the line of customers being 90% female. That's also Karl. Actually, it's all of us—all three Norrell boys and even Dad. Hell, probably Grandpa too. Women gravitate toward us. But only Karl is disinterested in relationships. I've seen women get pissed off about it, but that doesn't stop them from fucking him anyway.

I caught his attention. His face brightened into a smile. I didn't take that in any particular way; Karl is always smiling. Always sociable, easygoing, kind of like me…except where I'm driven and motivated, Karl is laid back and apathetic. We're polar opposites, but I've always thought he was a good guy at heart.

Until recent events, that is.

He bent and whispered something into a barista's ear. She beamed up at him and patted his arm in a you-go-ahead gesture.

"How goes it?" he called, untying his apron.

I controlled my volume by speaking between my teeth. "Where do you fucking get off using Sloane?"

He stilled, then threw back his head and laughed. "She told you. I wondered when she'd get around to it. Ain't it grand, kid? Me and your best friend. Who'da thunk it?"

I grabbed his arm and yanked him out the door. "I thought you didn't care about Alice's stuff."

"I don't."

"Then would you mind telling me what's going on?"

"Touchy, aren't we?" He snapped his fingers. "I got it. Exam week. The stress is getting to you. But don't worry, bro, if things fall through in that direction, you can always join me here making lattes."

I didn't let him sidetrack me. "I'm done with exams. They went fine. Why are you being an asshole?"

"Brr, it's cold out here. Asshole, huh? How exactly am I doing that again?"

"By asking Charis to marry you. You're just using her to get your inheritance."

"Well, yeah. I wonder if I should mention the wedding and the whole marriage thing to the family one of these days. What do you think? Would they be interested?"

I'm not easily riled, but right then I was ready to try to bash him. "Try" being the key word here, since in the normal way of things Karl could totally annihilate me and Doug in any kind of fight. Our muscle mass might be similar, but real-world experience defeats recreational tussles in their training value.

I managed to lower my voice to a near-shout. "Why do you even want your inheritance?"

He didn't stop smiling. "Alice cast out an irresistible lure."

"In her will? And what would that be?"

He shook his head. He wasn't going to say. "Boy, you sure are het up about this, Ash. You might consider meditation. You could use some zen. Some calm. It'll help you in life through these rocky periods."

I ignored that. "Break it off."

"Break what off?"

"The stupid engagement."

"Can you call it an engagement when it only lasts a few weeks?" He started jumping around to warm up, puffing air into his hands. "Funny, that didn't even occur to me. Should I get her a ring? Any idea what stones she goes for? It'll have to be small, unless you could lend me a few thousand…?"

If he was trying to incite me to slug him, he couldn't have done it better. "I will fucking kill you if you hurt her in any way."

The taunting glint in his eyes softened. "I have no intention of hurting your friend. Who could hurt a sweetheart like Charis?"

"Anyone who doesn't care about her enough. And that would be you."

He looked curious. "And how would you know how much I care about her?" Suddenly his face lit up. "Tell you what, let's ask her. Hey, C.S!"

I whipped around. She was walking briskly toward us from the street and looked from Karl to me with astonishment.

"What are you doing here?" It was me she was asking. I was the third wheel here.

"You're here for him?" I jerked my thumb at the man who'd taught me much of what I know about navigating the world of females.

Who'd tipped me off about clit before I ever saw a picture.

Who'd showed me how to shave with a straight razor.

Who'd taught me to whistle.

Traitor.

And now my Charis was going to him.

Karl put his beefy arm around her shoulders, bent down, and while I watched disbelievingly, kissed her slowly on the lips. She jerked back as if startled.

"Oh, you're cold," she said, then pulled off her glove and reached up to rub his face with her hand, all tender and shit.

"The fuck," I said, staring from one to the other. "You've got to be kidding me. The both of you. Get your fucking hands off of her."

They turned as one and stared at me as if I'd gone crazy.

And I had. I had.

Seeing Karl holding Charis, touching her, was more than I could tolerate. It confused the hell out of me.

See, here's what you have to understand. I'd never been jealous over a woman.

That's right. Not even with Aura.

When a babe tries to make me jealous, at best it amuses me, at worst I get impatient. Aura used to like to flirt, but when it got annoying I told her to choose whether she wanted a committed or an open relationship. I wasn't bluffing. I strongly preferred a committed relationship but I wouldn't have minded fucking other women at that point, as things had already gone south in our relationship.

To my way of thinking, there's no point to possessiveness. Either someone wants to be with you or they don't. If they don't, wave them goodbye and find yourself another one.

But in Charis's case…Karl had no fucking right to fucking touch her with his filthy paws. It was that simple.

"Asher doesn't believe we're really doing this," he remarked.

"We're doing it." She nodded.

I swallowed back my retort to attempt a semblance of friendliness. "You care about him?"

She looked up at Karl, then back at me. "Sure I do. Why wouldn't I? I love all your family. Oh, how did your exam go?"

Was everybody mad as a hatter today? Or was I the mad one?

"Fine," I said. "Do you honestly think he cares about you, Sloane?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to insult me?"

"Tell me. Do. You. Think. He. Gives a shit. About you."

Again, she surveyed him. "I'm not sure Karl gives a shit about anything."

Karl pulled her in closer and he dropped another kiss on her, this time on her forehead.

"No." I stepped forward. "No. This ends here. Stop touching her. If you don't—"

Now, I wasn't thinking of actually separating them. It tore at me to see my brother embracing Sloane as if he had every right to touch her, but I hadn't been pushed quite that far yet.

Instead, I would invade their space. One thing you learn growing up with a lot of siblings—territory is crucial. It's everything in fact. (Citation: In 99% of all Brady Bunch episodes, their spats are over territory. I wrote a paper on it and everything.)

It boils down to this: You honor their territory or suffer the consequences. I intended to foul my brother's space. To violate it until he voluntarily relinquished it.

But when the siren voice called my name, I halted as though I'd been jerked back on reins.

Great. Just great.

I saw Charis's eyes widen as they focused past my shoulder.

"Ash, oh, Asher, baby, love," came a crooning voice.

I didn't turn around. A familiar softness plastered itself to my back.

Even through layers of my wool coat and her down parka, I'd recognize those soft, lush breasts anywhere.

Luckily, my cock didn't recognize a thing. The cold, thank fuck, kept my usual response to Aura Renaldi from stirring. A rambunctious cock was all I needed right now to make this whole scene ludicrous.

"What are you doing here." I made it a statement rather than a question. I didn't turn around.

"I was passing by and saw your car. We have to talk."

"No, you weren't," I said, pissed. "You were following me."

She'd probably followed me from home. Which meant she'd been watching us from her car like a stalker. I finally turned around to face her.

She looked up at me. Her eyes were wide and green and glistening with tears, her skin translucent, her cheeks red with cold. She looked like a beautiful, chastised child.

And I was thankfully immune. My dick didn't even stir.

In the background, I could hear Karl and Charis talking together. I turned my head to watch.

Charis's arms were around Karl's neck and she was beaming up at him. He had his palms cupped over her ears, the bastard.

"Aura, get off." I unwrapped her hands from around me and set her away. As I did, my cock suddenly hardened.

Just like that, from out of the blue, I was suddenly desperate to bend down and kiss Aura.

And then it hit me why.

It wasn't because I wanted her. I didn't.

It was my frustration with Char. My savage fury at my brother. I craved satisfaction. Purely reflexive, the urge to fuck.

So yes, I was tempted to take Aura home. I didn't doubt she'd let me use her for angry, cathartic sex. We excelled at that. I could fuck her and calm down.

Then I'd sit down with Charis and talk to her calmly instead of like some randy hothead. I'd use irrefutable logic to steer her out of her doomed path.

Yep. Sounded good.

Except for the part about its being creepville to deliberately use Aura that way.

And I was getting a sick feeling from her perfume. There was no forgetting the baggage between us. Mine eyes had seen my ex's true light and my own not-so-noble motivations.

To go back to using Aura would sully our past and our present.

She deserved better.

The relationship was over, and it was going to stay over.

As Winnow says, I might be the darling of the family, but I'm also the most stubborn and ruthless. You have to be, to get your way with five bossy siblings. I can be impulsive, but once I arrive at a decision, it's gold.

I willed my hard-on down. Focusing on her petulant mouth, it was easy.

Stage Three, achieved.

"No," I said.

She shook her head wildly, refusing to accept my rejection. "We're not done, Asher. You know it as well as I do. What's between us is too powerful."

I sighed. Glancing over at Charis, I caught her rolling her eyes. I tried to hold her gaze for some meaningful eye bonding, but she averted her eyes quickly and said something to my brother.

"I've got to get back in there anyway," Karl was telling Charis. "See you later."

"I'm crashing the rest of the day," I heard her reply. "Then I have papers to grade all week. Hey, why don't we hook up Friday for pizza."

"Sounds good. Pepperoni?"

"Make it a double and add jalapeños, and you're on."

"No way, jalapeños and pizza do not mix."

"You think vegetables and pizza don't mix."

The easy back-and-forth between them made me gag. I'm her pizza buddy. Hey, what about me?

"Asher!" Aura's tone was urgent and she pulled on my sleeve.

"Ah…actually it's not. That powerful." I dragged my gaze back to Aura, down to her pleading eyes.

I knew we'd broken up. In her reality, it wasn't penetrating. There was no convincing her I wasn't budging, not when she felt free to reach up and touch my mouth with her forefinger.

"Asher…oh, love…we'll work through this, I promise. You need me. You know you need me."

I took a deep breath, gathering momentum for what I was about to do.

Then I skipped back, extended my arm till it found Charis's coat, clutched it, and hooked an arm around her, yanking her away from Karl.

"What the hell?" Charis squeaked.

"Can't hide it any longer," I declared, and then I hauled her up against me and slammed my mouth down on hers.

Yeah. I know.

It must have been icicles in my brain.

Or pollution in the air.

I didn't care. I wasn't going to let myself regret this yet.

Her lips were freezing. Her mouth was hanging open in stunned amazement, creating the perfect opportunity. I took her with my tongue, swirling around in exploration.

As had happened the last time, she refused to participate, while I lit up.

You see, Charis tasted…right. No, not just right—perfect. How had I resisted kissing her all these years?

After that first hungry taste, I began to put my skill to work. I explored her mouth, keeping her head still, teasing and nipping. At last I felt her tongue tentatively come forward.

Thrill! Charis Sloane, my completely platonic and clearly innocent best friend, was, very sweetly, kissing me back.

After that, there was no stopping me. I paid no attention to our observers and did my best to consume her. I kissed her like she had all the experience I did. I had no excuse. Except for the being a ruthless ass part.

After I-don't-know-how-long, I did make myself let her go. By then she was limp in my arms and my cock was in a full-blown rage, yelling, Good job, you've got her, now finish it, now, now, now.

Not exactly coolly, I assessed the situation. Aura was staring at us with horror. Karl's expression was one of utter incredulity.

And Charis…despite being flushed, out of breath, and having melted in my arms—that's actually Joel's term—he uses "the melt" to describe the way a woman looks when a kiss makes her leak her panties, and Char definitely had the "melted" look—she also looked livid.

Right, I might have fucked up again.

Karl scratched his eyebrow, twisted his head on his neck…sighed…and threw a punch. Just at my shoulder, where it spun me a quarter of the way around, so a token swat, but still.

The gratifying thing, though? Charis grabbed his arm and held him back. "No, don't hit him."

Defending me from her fiancé…I chose to take that as a good sign.

"I want you," I proclaimed loudly, rubbing my shoulder, and glanced down at Aura. "I want her. I finally realized you were right. All this time, it was Charis I wanted. I'm a despicable bastard. You can say good riddance to me now, Aura. I'm bad news."

Aura's face clouded up and, predictably, she burst into tears. Karl muttered something, came over and patted her back. Aura looked up at him with dazed, grieved eyes.

And Charis—she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. As she looked back and forth from me to Aura, I saw comprehension dawn. Saw when she realized, He's using me to give Aura the shaft.

Then that livid expression I mentioned before?

It was nothing to this. I'd never seen my best friend so enraged. She shoved me back so hard I stumbled into the street. Then she took off.