CHAPTER 30

 

One Year Ago—Stuck There

 

Asher: Yo, why are you doing it that way? There's an app for that.

Charis: Yeah, I know.

Asher: Then why aren't you using it? What?

Charis: I said mumble. That was a mumble.

Asher: But you'd save yourself twenty minutes.

Charis: I know.

Asher: Here, I'll install it.

Charis: No! I don't want it!

Asher: Why not?

Charis: Look, I'm process oriented, all right? I do things the way I like to do things. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a perfect system going, only to find it's totally obsolete because somebody wrote a stupid app? I can't adapt that fast. I'm entrenched in tradition. That's the way I like it. I'm old-fashioned. Get off my case about it.

Asher: Bullshit. You were the one who wanted to sign up for that Japanese live action robotic fight.

Charis: Why did you even stop me?

Asher: You had a sprained ankle.

Charis: It was almost healed. And I could totally have taken that robot. It was like one third my size.

Asher: Yeah, tradition my ass. I think my point is made.

Charis: Can't wait for next year. I'm so going again. What? No, your point is not made. Or is it? Hmm.

Asher: I'll install it now.

Charis: No. I'm not ready yet. I need to psych myself up.

Asher: For a fucking shopping app?

Charis: Don't look so incredulous. You're making me feel like a freak.

Asher: You challenge me, girl. You do challenge me.

 

Asher

 

THIS SUCKED. SLOANE SUCKED. I was going to spank her ass for this shit.

Winnow, apparently not noticing my mood, flung her arms out. "What do you think of…ta-da…the Asher Room!"

"The Asher Room," I echoed.

My sister's "rec 'n tech" room had been turned into a bordello. Among all the velvets and cushions, there was an orgy in the making with about a dozen women hand-picked for my exact tastes.

Meddler that she was, I like Winnow. I mean it's definitely the thought that counts.

All the same…I looked back longingly at the shut door behind me.

"Well?" She sidled up to me and rubbed her face on my sleeve. I snuggled her against me, something you are required to do with soft women.

"What motivated this exactly?"

"I'm making sure that thing that happens whenever you're single doesn't happen this time," she said airily. "It's pathetic watching you moon around and crash into things. You'll never want for love, baby Ash. That's Maria, that's Liz, that's Dora and Louise and over there lying across our cousins' laps is this gal Shona works with, I can't remember her name offhand, but apparently she's always gushing over you—"

"I know who they are. But why, Winnow? Really, without the bullshit. What did I ever do to you?"

"You want it straight? Everyone agrees that you need some serious help choosing girlfriends. Your track record stinks, baby boy. That bitch—"

"Cut it out already about Aura, she wasn't a—ah, fuck, so she was. Listen, a bitch I can handle. That's not the problem, it's—" I stopped, realizing I couldn't say any more without revealing the truth about me and Charis.

I folded my arms, glaring at the room in general at the reminder of the choke chain Sloane had me on.

Winnow's no dummy. She knew something was up. "So who's this black coat girl?" At my silence, she sighed. "There really isn't any black coat girl, is there? That's just camouflage. You're all alone and depressed."

"If there were, you think I'd tell you people?"

She pfawed and then changed the subject. "Hey, we're all going track cycling this weekend. Dad's even threatening to bring his creaky ass. You coming?"

"I'll ask Charis."

"Great idea. She's looking real good tonight, by the way. Is she dating someone?"

I fixed her with a hard stare. "You are not fucking gonna set Sloane up with one of your friends, Winona. How's your love life?"

She sighed. "Low blow, bro. All right, I'll tell you what. If none of these ladies fix your little wagon, then I've got someone that I know will. Her name is Elianna and she is—mmph—" French-style kissy noise—"exquisite."

"I know about Elianna, thanks."

"What? How can you know? It's my big surprise."

"She sent me a picture. Sorry, not my type." I spoke that lie with a completely straight face, I'm proud to say. I'd caught a glimpse of Elianna out there. In person, she was unbelievably fucking hot. Except for the part about my not being interested in anybody except Sloane.

"Oh." Her shoulders slumped. "Well, then, go on, mingle. In a few minutes, we're starting a game of strip billiards. I hope you're wearing your boxers." She gave me a little shove.

"I'm a briefs man."

"TMI, bro. But that'll do. Go, go."

"Not if you're playing," I hedged. We have a rule in my family. Boys can get nude around boys and girls around girls, but mixing the sex streams is verboten.

"Duh." She was already squeezing around the door and closing it on me.

I stared at the shut door. I wanted to burst out of here, grab Sloane, plop down with her in my lap, and put my feet up.

I sighed in supreme irritation and gazed around the room again. Fine. I'd play. But I was going to take this out of Sloane's hide.

 

Charis

 

I THINK THEY TOOK IT WELL, considering that, you know, none of them had any warning.

There was a shocked silence when Aura held up that ring finger. But then everybody was converging on Karl and Aura, congratulating them.

I sidled up to hear what people were saying. Mostly they were asking questions.

When's the big day?

Why didn't you say anything?

When did it happen?

When did you break up with Asher?

Aura answered with a serene dignity which, personally, struck me as fake. And I didn't appreciate her spin. She acted like it was she who'd dumped Asher, rather than the other way around.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever done, knowing someone would be left hurting," she said softly. "If I stayed with Asher, would I hurt Karl? If I went with Karl, would I hurt Asher?" She glowed up at Karl. "It had to be Karl."

Everybody looked expectantly at Karl for his reaction. His lips twitched as he stroked Aura's cheek.

"Uh, right, so, was this, like, a whirlwind romance, or what?" Doug was scratching his head. I think he was only asking what was on everyone's mind. As far as I knew, Asher and I were the only ones who'd had pre-warning about Karl's engagement.

Aura leaned forward. "Well, you see, Karl and I—"

"We're fulfilling the conditions of Great Grandma Alice's will," Karl interrupted smoothly. From the way Aura stiffened, I figured they'd disagreed on how much of the truth to tell the family.

I cringed a little. How was I any different from Aura here? The way I was hiding the truth about me and Asher made me at least as rotten as she was.

Karl was going on, "I need to get hitched before my thirtieth birthday or I forfeit everything."

"What everything?" Doug snorted. "You want an old lady's shit? Come over to my place. Take half my crap. There's no need to do anything desperate, man."

Karl sent his brother a mild look and drew Aura close to his side protectively. I think really he's a decent guy. I was starting to feel sorry for Aura, too. I mean, this was her doing, obviously, but I don't think she felt like she had a choice in the way her life was going, whatever she said.

Of course it was inevitable that halfway through the interrogation, they all remembered Asher.

"Does Ash know?"

"Have you told Asher yet?"

"Did you tell your brother?"

"Where is Asher?"

"Ash!"

Somebody pointed at the Closed Door of Iniquity. "There."

"What's he doing in there?"

"Partying."

"Asher doesn't party."

"Sex, not drugs."

"Sex, oh, yeah, Asher does sex."

"Did somebody say strip poker?"

"Pool, they're playing strip pool."

"Not pool, billiards."

I saw Aura's gaze narrow toward the door in question.

Like she had a right to care that her ex was in there getting naked with a passel of women! She knew full well it was my job to be clawingly jealous here.

And back there was Elianna, standing in a catgirl pose, wearing a little smile. Confident-like, as if she knew she was in.

It was enough to make a lameass passive shit girlfriend want to scream.

"That's some big news, hey?" I looked around to see Nate approaching, winking at me.

And Hunt was suddenly there, too, on my other side, slipping his arm around my waist. "Love is in the air," he said with comically raised eyebrows.

I shrugged, being even more of a dipstick now that things were going rabidly out of control.

By "out of control" I'm referring to one of Asher's cousins yelling, "Asher's getting it on in the pool room with naked chicks!" and Winnow pushing through the crowd, calling, "Come on, people, not all of the fourteen women are naked!" But when a tide of male Norrell cousins starting moving, I bit my lip, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Time out for a sec.

Forget my own drama here.

This.

This is why I'm a little loony about the Norrells and spend, like, all my holidays with them. It's not just the entertainment value. It's the way Erica and Alfred Norrell stood there clutching each other, hands over mouths. It's the giggling behind the bedroom door the adults were forcing shut to keep out all the kids trying to listen in.

This family got off on each other.

Asher had grown up with this.

My folks would disapprove—and they do party with drugs.

Me, though, I love it. I love not being the only one confused. Around Asher's family, I feel like nobody thinks I'm weird.

Except for if they ever found out I was a perv taking advantage of their youngest son. Then they'd, you know, think I'm weird, and probably lynch me.

Now Erica was doing her badass hostess bit, extending her hand graciously. "Aura, welcome to the family."

"Thank you, Erica." Aura moved forward to hug her, tears glistening in her eyes.

"No more switching," Erica said severely, setting Aura at arm's length. "I don't want any of my boys' hearts broken again." She looked around and caught my eye, and smiled with one lifted brow.

Oh, crap.

Why had she singled me out?

Was that a warning? Was I supposed to protect Asher from getting his heart broken the next time?

Oh, shit, what if she blamed me for the failure of his relationship? For keeping quiet when I must have had an idea it was really sucky?

I bit my lip, feeling tears prickle my eyes. I was the worst best friend ever.

I watched Alfred hug the happy couple, and I turned away, feeling sure this party had reached its nadir and could not possibly get any worse.

Then a new cry arose by the front door.

Mel had arrived.