Over the years all the women I’ve been with have kind of faded into a haze. The old saying, “You’ve been with one, you’ve been with them all,” is exactly how I felt. There’s not a thing a woman could do that would surprise me. There’s nothing about being with one that is different. Maybe that’s why I’ve gone so long without a woman. Those around me think it was because of Cherry and the way she left.

It would have been simpler if that was the reason.

Fuck, seeing her today… I felt nothing. There’s a chance she is betraying the club, and that should have me upset, but hell… I can’t even feel much about that. I resented having to see to her when I could have been with Toi. I don’t know what the fuck that says about me, but it is true—just the same.

But Toi… Toi is special. I shouldn’t have anything to do with her. I should stay the fuck away. I’ve been fighting it, trying with everything in me. Every turn I make has been spent with the intention of staying away from her. Tonight she made that impossible.

I tried to convince myself she wasn’t strong enough to survive in my world. I used that as another reason I shouldn’t touch her. Then… tonight, with one single, selfless act—an act that put blood on her hands—she crumbled every fucking defense I had to use against her.

I told her, but I don’t think she understood. It’s time I show her.

“I can’t think of any,” her soft whisper breathes out and that’s all the permission I need—the final wall between us comes crashing down.

I hold her face gently, keeping her still for me. I have done a lot of things with women in my life, but gentle has never been a part of it. Something about Toi makes me want to be gentle. I press my lips to hers lightly, letting my tongue seep between hers slowly, running it along them, just to tease. She doesn’t open for me, but I don’t sense rejection from her. I’ve surprised her. I suck on her bottom lip, being as tender as I know how—which is nowhere near what she deserves.

She tastes sweet like candy and I know it’s a taste I’ll quickly become addicted to.

“Open your mouth for me, Dragonfly,” I groan, wanting more of her, but trying to let her be the one to give it to me. Soon, there will be a time when I’ll demand what I want and she’ll give it to me, but for now it’s important she gives herself to me at her pace.

She lets me in slowly, and I try not to rush her—but the moment I can I slide my tongue inside her mouth and explore, I’m lost. I drink from her, learning her, and claiming her. She’s shy. Maybe she’s not sure yet of the two of us. I can understand that. As hard as I fought giving in to my desires, I doubt she ever saw me as her man… but I am.

I let my fingers move to her neck, needing to feel her warmth. I stroke the soft skin as I plunder her mouth. I allow my hand to move farther and palm one of her breasts. I do nothing but massage it, knead it in my hands but I’m rewarded when her body pushes up from the bed toward me.

She wants me, and for now, that will have to be enough.

I break away slowly from her lips, opening my eyes to gaze into hers.

Beauty.

That’s what Toi is. Something beautiful in my world that’s seen very little of it. When a man finds beauty, he’d be a fool to let it go.

I stand up and remove my shirt. Toi watches, her eyes never leaving me.

“What are you doing?” she whispers.

“Getting ready for bed, Dragonfly.” I grin when her eyes dilate and her mouth opens in surprise.

She shakes her head no, and shakes it harder when I undo my belt.

“You’re cute, Toi, but I’m getting in this bed with you.”

“You were already in bed,” she says so softly I have to strain to hear her.

“But I didn’t get undressed. I thought I might have to get up for club business.”

“You still might,” she says, rather desperately.

“I’ve decided I don’t care if there’s a fucking fire and we’re attacked on all sides. I want to sleep with you skin against skin.” I wait for her to process my words, then continue—needing to make her understand. “I told you, Toi, you sealed your fate.”

“What does that mean?’

“Just what I said. I’m keeping you.”

She starts to talk, but instead reaches for the notebook, wincing when it hurts. I frown. I don’t like that and if what Kasha said is true, using her voice won’t cause more damage. If anything, it might preserve what she still has. She starts to write furiously on her paper, when I reach down and pull it away.

“When you want to talk to me, Dragonfly, you use your damn voice.”

“It hurts,” she squeaks, but you can hear the anger in it.

“Because you don’t fucking do it enough,” I grumble, raking my hair back away from my face. This wasn’t how I envisioned my evening and it’s not how I want to finish it.

“You’re a jerk,” she huffs.

“I know and you should get used to it. Now quit distracting me. I told you I was keeping you, and I am.”

“Shouldn’t you…” She stops to catch her breath and then continues, “ask me about this?”

“It’s too late for that,” I answer her, unbuttoning my pants and pushing them down. Her face colors and she almost jumps back in bed. I’d almost think she’d never seen a dick before. I reach down with my hand and stretch my cock, showing her just how fucking much I want her. I nearly groan when she licks her bottom lip hungrily. “Not yet, Dragonfly.”

She looks up, shocked.

“I wasn’t—”

“Your eyes were. You need to heal up. You checked out okay, but you’re black and blue every fucking where I look.”

“I don’t think we should—”

“Oh, we will.”

“Marcum…”

“Yeah, I like that.”

“What?”

“You saying my name.”

“Can you put on pajamas?” she whispers as I put a knee on the bed.

“Don’t have any.”

“Underwear?” she squeaks, trying to scoot away.

“Don’t wear that shit.”

“You can’t get in bed with me naked.”

I reach down and kiss her forehead.

“Get some rest, Dragonfly,” I say with a smile, as I slide under the covers.

“Oh my God!” she says clearly.

“It’s big, honey, but it’s not that impressive. It will fit inside of you just fine.”

“I… You… We…”

“That’s it pretty much. We. Go to sleep, Dragonfly.”

“I’m going to pretend you aren’t here,” she murmurs, turning around and giving me her back. She’s wearing a long, white gown and while it’s sexy, I want to take it off of her. That’s for another night, though.

“Let’s see how that works for you.”

There’s silence for a few minutes and as I pull her body into mine, I close my eyes at how fucking perfect it feels.

“Your… I can feel you poking my ass…”

“Not yet. Soon, though.” She tries to wiggle away from me, but I don’t let her go. “Toi, honey, I know I said I was going to wait to claim you, but if you don’t stop wiggling your ass against my cock like that, I’m not going to be responsible.” She goes deathly still and I grin.

“Sweet dreams, Dragonfly,” I whisper, kissing the back of her head and holding her close. This may be the first time in a month that I get a good night of sleep.

Even with a hard-on that could drive a nail in cement.