“Toi stop being sad,” Marcum grumbles, helping me off his bike.

“Can’t help it,” I whisper—and it is a whisper. Last night I was talking normal. Heck, I was yelling and then I woke up this morning… and it’s back to the way it was before. Marcum won’t admit it, but I saw the disappointment in his face too.

“We’ll go see this guy and see what he says, honey.”

“I hate doctors.” I mumble the words, not that Marcum would know that because you can barely hear me. In truth, he probably doesn’t. The parking garage is loud with cars starting and moving around us.

“I’ve picked that up about you, Dragonfly,” he answers, shaking his head.

We’re silent on the elevator ride and during the wait in the doctor’s office. I’m silent because I’m nervous. Maybe Marcum is regretting his promises to me and that’s why he’s quiet—I’m afraid to ask. I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time taking him on his word, but I am.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kincaid, the doctor will see you now,” the nurse announces and my heart beats erratically in my chest.

“Mr. and Mrs.?”

Marcum doesn’t answer my question; he just squeezes my hand. I start to question him further, but before I can we’re ushered into a small office. There’s a man in a white doctor’s coat sitting behind the desk and when we walk in, he looks up with a smile.

“Mr. Kincaid. It’s good to meet you, and I take it you are Toi?” he asks, extending his hand. Marcum nods, but he doesn’t reach out and shake the doctor’s hand.

“Hi,” I whisper and I shake his hand. Marcum grunts beside me and I get the distinct impression he doesn’t like that I shook hands. Which is crazy, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand Marcum.

“I had your old doctor email me your records. It’s been a long time since you’ve had a thorough examination, Ms. Kincaid.”

“I… Uh… That’s not my…”

“We already know what she’s had done, Doc. I want to know what you can do to help her.”

“Yes, well. I’ve been going through the notes. You say Toi was talking normal last night?”

“She always talks normal,” Marcum growls and I don’t know why that makes me feel good, but it does. “She just can’t talk very loud. Last night she did.”

“What was she doing last night when she was talking normal—uh… louder?”

“Fighting with Marcum,” I confess.

“Having sex,” Marcum says over top of me and I feel my face flame in embarrassment.

“You did not just say that,” I hiss.

“It’s the truth, Dragonfly. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Well, okay then—and you were able to maintain a regular speaking voice?” the doctor asks, interrupting us.

“Yes, although I didn’t realize it at the time.”

“She did. Hell, she let out a few good screams,” Marcum says with a grin, relaxing back in his chair and propping his foot up on the doctor’s desk.

I’m starting to get the impression that he doesn’t like this doctor that much. When we get alone I’m going to ask him why he brought me to someone, if all he was going to do was antagonize the man. That’s if I don’t kill him for embarrassing me first.

“I see. And according to the information my nurse has here. You were involved in a recent car accident, Ms. Kincaid?”

His question shocks me. I look over at Marcum. I’ve not really allowed myself to even think about that day. I feel my body shake as pictures come to mind. I don’t think I can deal with it. Then I feel Marcum squeeze my hand.

“Yes, my wife was traveling with her father. He lost control of the vehicle and hit a tree. Toi was thrown free, but I’m afraid her father was in the vehicle when it caught fire.”

He delivers that statement so calmly. My hand jerks in his, and he squeezes tighter. I hadn’t even asked how the situation was being handled. I was just glad cops weren’t knocking at my door with arrest warrants. That doesn’t say the best things about me, either. I know my father was slime… He was…

But I killed him.

“From studying your old records and from the history I have. I think the wreck might have caused a shift in the damaged vocal cord.”

“What does that mean?” Marcum asks.

“In cases like Toi’s, there’s a surgery that can be done—I see that it was recommended for you several years ago, Ms. Kincaid.”

“Yes…” I admit. There’s no way I could afford it—though I tried for a while. I don’t tell him that.

“Right. Well, ideally, they want to do the surgery soon after the first injury. Time usually lessens the effectiveness. But the fact that you regained your voice—even briefly—is a good sign, Ms. Kincaid, a very good sign.”

“So she needs this surgery?” Max asks. “How soon can we get it scheduled?”

I jerk in my seat.

“No,” I whisper. Both men train their gazes on me.

“Toi—”

“The surgery is expensive,” I whisper to Marcum and I hate him for making me admit it. “And there’s no guarantee it will work.” I add that last part and my voice squeaks. I barely get the last word out.

“She’s right. Especially considering the amount of time between the first injury and this one. Still, I think it would be worth a shot. In essence, we’d be rearranging her damaged vocal cord to place it in a position that would increase its reverberation. It is a relatively simple surgery, but as Ms. Kincaid said, there’s no guarantee, and as with any surgery there could be some high risks.”

“Like what?” Marcum asks.

“She could lose her voice completely.”

“I see,” Marcum says and I feel him staring at me. The weight of his stare is almost physical. I don’t look at him though. I just want to leave.

“I really suggest the two of you talk it over and if you want to proceed then I’ll make sure to work Toi in quickly. In the meantime, I would like some updated scans and films done, so I can better prepare if surgery is the choice.”

“Set it up, Doc,” Marcum says and I turn to look at him, not sure if I’m upset with him. I don’t know what I feel. I just know it revolves around Marcum.

He stares at me, as if daring me to tell the doctor differently. I don’t.

I’m too confused.