I look at the plate of blueberry muffins I have in my hand in disgust. This is my second baking-bribery-attempt in a matter of days. This is what I’ve been reduced to. Buying Harley and Desi’s affections. Which would be okay at this point—if it was working, but it’s not. Harley wouldn’t even eat the cookies I made last time.

I stand at their door. I can hear Cherry’s voice from where I’m standing and I want to turn around. I don’t trust her. Marcum says he needs her here to keep an eye on her while we’re on lockdown. The problem is she keeps staying close to Harley and Desi. I want to demand that Marcum stop it, but I know that will come off as petty jealousy and really—I am jealous. Still, I can’t help but feel she’s using the kids. I’m going to have to approach Marcum about it. He actually thought it was a good thing she’s keeping to herself except for the kids. He sees it as proof she’s not behind whatever mess is going on. Men can be so damned blind.

Cherry is trouble. I feel it.

I take a breath, praying my voice holds up. I hate when it doesn’t and Cherry is around. She never misses an opportunity to make me feel less. It’s so weird. Ever since the accident my voice has been doing much better. Part of that is the medicine regimen the doctor put me on, but a bigger part of it I think, is that I’m relaxed and even… happy. I’m trying to strike up the nerve to finish the scans and get the surgery Marcum wants me to have, but he’s agreed to table the discussion while everything is going on with the club.

“Hey. I was wondering if you guys would like some muffins,” I say and my voice sounds way too overly cheerful to my own ears. I look around the room, immediately disappointed because Desi is not here. It would have been good if she was. She’s the one person who likes me and it sure would be good to see a friendly face right now.

Instead, Cherry and Harley turn to look at me. One face is full of hate and one is full of victory.

Both make me very nervous.

“Hello, Toi. I’m afraid this is not a good time.”

“Is something wrong? Harley, honey? Are you okay?”

Harley blinks. His little face is pale and I can tell he’s been crying.

“You’re having a baby!” he accuses and my face goes white.

“What? Who told you that?”

“I heard you. I heard you and Daddy! You’re having a baby!”

“Well… I mean, I don’t know, Harley. We’ve talked about it…” I stutter, not knowing how to handle this.

“You want to replace me and Desi! You want to take my Daddy away!”

“What? Of course I don’t. Harley no one will ever take your Daddy away. He loves you,” I tell him, trying to reassure him.

“I hate you! I don’t want you here! Everything was good until you came!”

He grabs the plate of muffins I have and throws them to the floor. The plate shatters. I immediately get down and start picking up the pieces, not wanting Harley to get hurt.

“Harley, it’s not okay for you to act like this. I know you’re hurt, but you don’t understand,” I tell him, and I curse myself silently because my voice is breaking. Every muscle in my body is tight right now, so it makes sense, but this is the worst time possible for it to happen.

“I understand! I heard Daddy! He’s got to protect his family, his new family!”

“Sweetheart, what’s going on right now, your Dad is trying to protect all of us.”

“He wouldn’t need to if it wasn’t for you!” Harley accuses me and I feel my stomach squeeze when I see Cherry smiling.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m afraid Harley overheard me talking to Babs about the lockdown,” Cherry says.

“What did he overhear?” I ask, knowing it’s bad from the self-satisfied smile on her face.

“She said your dad sent you away to some men for money because he didn’t want you anymore!”

“I… Harley…” I start coughing, my voice trying to seize.

“Your daddy didn’t want you, so you’re trying to steal mine!”

“Har… ley,” I cough out.

“You’re going to get my daddy killed! I hate you! I wish you had never come here! We don’t need you! We have Cherry and Daddy was happier when she was here!”

“Harley…”

“I hate you! I wish you’d die!” Harley screams and he takes off running from the room. I turn to go to him and Cherry grabs hold of my arm.

“I think you’ve done enough here. I’ll see to Harley; he trusts me.”

“He doesn’t know,” I get out before I start coughing, “what a fucking liar you are,” I finally finish.

“Really, you should watch your language around Desi and Harley. They’re good kids.”

“What was Harley talking about?”

“Oh… you don’t know. Isn’t it just like Marcum to try and keep the truth from you?” she responds, as another cough breaks free.

“What truth?”

“Your father sold you to the Garcias.”

“The Garcias?” I question. I’ve heard of them—vaguely, but I don’t completely understand.

“Exactly. And if Marcum doesn’t hand you over, he might as well sign his own death warrant. No one goes against the Garcias around here and lives.”

“I…”

“If you don’t mind, I really need to see to Harley. He’s more important than a woman who is putting the entire club at risk and all because she spread her legs for the right man.”

I want to respond, but I feel like I’ve been sucker punched and I’m hurting so deeply I can’t seem to catch my breath.

All I can do is watch her leave while I’m coughing and feeling completely alone.

Is Cherry right? Am I going to get Marcum and his men killed? Is that why he’s keeping all this from me?