After Travis reminded Trevor that Molly wasn’t fond of Gargoyles, Deacon agreed to stay outside, but he refused to leave Trevor to his own safety. “If I ever find my own mate, I hope someone would offer the same courtesy should she need guarding,” Deacon explained.

“I understand, and I apologize for running off. It won’t happen again.”

Deacon and Trevor remained in the lobby with Mason and Willow while Travis and Rafael finished looking over the plans.

When it was time to leave, Travis thanked Rafael as he did every day for bringing him on with the company and mentoring him. Rafael had given Travis two options. He could either return to college, or Rafael would teach Travis. Travis didn’t feel comfortable being out in large crowds, so he took Rafael up on his offer of instructing him. So far, it had been the ideal situation. Travis felt he had learned so much more in the practical environment than he ever would have in the classroom. And considering Rafael had been an architect for centuries and had helped rebuild New Atlanta, Travis couldn’t have asked for a better or more qualified instructor. Rafael had been giving Travis his own projects to oversee, and his confidence grew daily.

Deacon followed the brothers down to the parking garage. When Trevor looked between Travis’s car and Deacon’s four-wheel drive truck, Deacon said, “I’ll follow you.”

“Thanks,” Trevor responded.

Once they were in the car, Travis said, “Okay, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you ditched your guard, and you turned down supper at the manor. You never turn down Priscilla’s cooking.”

“Maybe I just want to spend time with my brother.”

“You see me all the time, Trev. What’s wrong?”

Trevor pulled at his bottom lip with his fingers. Travis took the opportunity to study him while they were sitting at a red light. His hair was longer, and the purple streak was fading. Trevor was slumped down in the seat, and his right leg was shaking up and down.

“Trev?”

“I want kids.” Trevor finally met his brother’s eyes and said, “But I’m scared to death.”

“I’ve seen you with Connor and Amelia. You’re great with them.”

“Yeah, but I can pat them on the head and send them back to their parents. I’m not responsible for them.”

“Does Jasper not want kids?”

“I’m pretty sure he did…”

“But?”

“Why would he want kids with me?”

Travis knew all about Trevor’s insecurities. He’d always believed he was only “spare parts.” Travis also understood something else. It was the same thought he himself had mulled over plenty of times when he imagined Rachel and himself having a family. Travis had finally figured out he would not raise his kids how his parents had raised him and Trevor. He would learn from their mistakes and show his children more love than any children in the world, and he encouraged Trevor to do the same. “Jasper loves you. He is in love with you. Crazy in love. All anyone has to do is be around the two of you for five minutes, and it’s clear as day.”

Travis pulled into the driveway of his small, two-bedroom house and parked the car. Instead of getting out, he unbuckled and turned in his seat to face his brother. “You have a lot of love to give, and I know what you should do. You should love your child the way you wanted to be loved growing up. Show them every bit of kindness that was withheld from you. Never let him or her – or them – feel like they are anything less than the miracle they will be.”

Trevor looked away, but Travis didn’t miss the wetness in his brother’s eyes. Staring out the windshield, Trevor whispered, “Thank you. Not just for this, but for everything.”

Travis gripped Trevor’s arm and waited for his brother to look at him. “It’s what family is for. Now, let’s get in there and let Molly out and grab a couple of beers. You might want to get Deacon one while you’re at it.”

Trevor nodded and grinned before climbing out of the car. True to his word, Deacon remained out front on the porch. He was far enough away that Molly didn’t go ballistic but close enough he could keep an eye and an ear on the brothers. After grilling out, the two of them left Molly outside and invited Deacon in to eat and play video games for a little while. The Goyle was competitive, just like Jasper, and he was funny with his running commentary while they were playing. He even gave Trevor a run for his money in the smartass department.

 

 

 

Instead of lying down, Uri sat on the floor, leaning against the wall with his legs stretched out in front of him crossed at the ankles. The letter was crumpled and worn where he’d been holding the corner while his other hand fingered the talisman hanging around his neck. The house was quiet. Eerily so. Not even Gregor and Tessa were speaking or doing what he would do if he had his mate in his bed before a battle.

With that thought, his beast stirred angrily. Fuck. Urijah’s head was still hurting from earlier when Banyan had delivered the note. His mind was messed up with memories of the past as well as the hopelessness he now felt toward the future. While the other Goyles were resting, Uri was tormenting himself. For a stupid second, he considered going to Finley’s room and asking if he could sleep with him. Not for sex but for comfort; only Urijah knew that ship had sailed, too. His relationship with Fin would never be what it once was. It had changed when Finley moved to the West Coast, but Finley knowing Uri had a mate had solidified things for them. Shoved them so deep in the friend zone they’d never see their way out.

Urijah could honestly say he didn’t want sex with Fin. Not now. He only wanted a warm body to hold him while he tried to forget about Banyan. Uri reached out with his shifter senses and searched for Banyan in the other villa. It took longer than it should have, but he finally caught the barest hint of his old friend. Fuck, he couldn’t even consider Banyan a friend any longer. He had seen to it they were no longer anything to one another other than members of the same Clan. Urijah had a feeling even that wouldn’t last long past the upcoming battle.

Before, he wanted nothing more than for Banyan to leave him alone and let him live out his life without his mate. But now… Now, Uri wanted nothing more than to go back to the time when they were young and running across the snow-capped mountains of Norway. Lying on their backs as the Aurora Borealis danced overhead. Chasing each other through the tall grass to get to the icy-cold water of the fjord. Since he couldn’t have that, Urijah would have to hold onto the memories, because that’s all he would ever have of Banyan. He didn’t understand why this bothered him so badly.

The others began stirring. Water turned on as showers were taken. Footsteps tapped across the wooden floor in the hallway and down the stairs. Goyles greeted each other as they came out of their rooms. The scent of coffee made its way to Uri’s nose, and he decided he could use a cup. Or five. When the water in the room next to his turned off, he jumped in the shower, setting the temperature all the way to hot. He wasn’t trying to scorch his skin, not that it would happen, but he wanted the heat to soothe his muscles where he’d sat on the floor all night.

After lingering longer than was considerate for the others wanting hot water, Uri dressed in ripped jeans and an old Harley T-shirt before padding barefoot downstairs in search of coffee. With mug in hand, he stepped out onto the patio where Banyan had bared his soul the night before. Breathing the sea air deep into his lungs, Urijah took advantage of the solitude to put on his game face. He didn’t need the others to know how badly he was hurting. Taking a few more calming breaths, Uri slowed his heart rate and pretended he was fine.

 

 

Banyan dreaded going downstairs the next morning. After a sleepless night, he was ready to go for a run by the water to exert some energy, but he felt it best to remain close to the villa in case their plans changed and they needed to move out earlier than expected. He opted for a cold shower to wash away the thoughts he couldn’t help but have when he stepped under the water. Thoughts of Urijah so close and probably just as naked in his own shower. Banyan knew his cock wasn’t going to deflate, so he quickly stroked one out, doing his best not to think of Urijah staring up at him while he sucked him off. Yeah, like that ever worked. The more he tried not to think of his dick sliding in and out of Uri’s mouth, the more the memories invaded his brain, causing his cock to swell again.

Needing to get his libido under control, he brought up the one memory that never failed to deflate his aching cock – Mishka. Taking the human’s life ate away at Banyan. At the time of the murder – because that’s what it had been – Banyan wasn’t sorry. His letter to Uri at the time even said so.

 

Min eneste kjærlighet,

 

My heart is broken beyond repair. Where once a mighty Gargoyle stood, in his place is a shell of the warrior. I have waited centuries for you to see what is before you, yet you have finally broken my will to care. Vowing your love and life to a human was more than I could withstand.

I would say I wish I had been able to control the beast within, but that would be a lie. If it hadn’t taken over, I would not have been able to stand by and watch you pledge an oath to a male who was not me. I have no doubt I have broken you just as you have broken me, but I do not have it in me to care.

I will no longer pursue what is rightfully mine. I will do my best to forget you are my mate. Forget you are the only male, only anything, I have ever loved.

I do not ask your forgiveness for I have learned over the years to not wish for impossible things.

 

Du er min sjel,

 

Forever empty without you, 

 

Banyan

 

 

He had been hurt. Broken. Crushed. At the time Banyan wrote the words, he meant them. But as he told the others, he now was truly sorry it happened, and if he could turn back time, he would. He had to wonder what Uri would think if he ever got his hands on all the letters Banyan had written to him. It would take many hours for him to read them all, but then he would have a better understanding of how deeply Banyan’s feelings for his mate ran.

After brushing his teeth, he towel dried his long hair and pulled it back in a leather thong. He squinted at his reflection. Could Gargoyles get dark circles under their eyes? Sighing aloud, he tossed the towel over the shower door and went in search of clothes. Banyan went ahead and dressed in his black fatigues and tee, not wanting to have to change clothes later should Frey give the order to go.

When he walked down the stairs, he fully expected all the Goyles to either ask him if he was okay or to completely ignore him. Banyan was shocked to find everyone carrying on as if nothing had happened. Gannon, Thane, and Remy had ended up at the other villa. He would have preferred to be with more of the West Coast Clan, but he wasn’t going to risk running into Uri just so he’d have someone familiar to talk with. Jasper and Lorenzo were manning the stove, and the smell of bacon had Banyan’s stomach rumbling loudly. Both males turned and grinned at him when he approached. He rubbed his stomach, and said, “I guess the beast wants bacon.”

“Grab a plate,” Jasper said, pointing to the end of the counter with the spatula he was using to flip eggs. When Banyan did as instructed, Jasper scooped up three fried eggs and slid them onto the side of the dish. Banyan piled bacon and a couple of canned biscuits on top of the eggs and set the food down while he went in search of coffee. Several males were already seated, and when Banyan joined them, talk of the battle continued. They let him know that Frey had come over earlier and said they would be moving out later that night. It would take most of the night for Hunter and Carter to transport them all to Ithaca, but the moment they had been training for was there.

Banyan was ready. He was ready for the adrenaline rush that always came with swinging a sword at an opponent. He was ready to get the battle over with and move on with his life. Banyan honestly had no idea what being King entailed. Having been sent away from his home as a small boy, he’d only been around his father the few times they were needed to fight in wars for the humans. His father had led human armies with Banyan and Urijah fighting alongside one another under his command. If things were different, he would be looking forward to the battle with the Greeks; he and Urijah would fight back to back, side by side. Protecting each other as they danced with the enemy.

Before he returned to Norway, Banyan would have to meet up with Brynna. Unless Banyan adopted a child, it would be up to his sister to carry on the Holgersen name. All thoughts of having his own children with Urijah had long ago dried up. Pursuing a future with his mate by his side where they found a surrogate to carry a child for each of them was no longer an option. The more that reality set in, the bleaker Banyan’s existence became. Life wasn’t worth living without a mate and children. With no hope of having that life, what was the point of carrying on?

A hand on Banyan’s shoulder snapped him out of the despairing thoughts. His mood instantly mellowed, and the pain in his heart eased. Tamian sat down next to him, his own plate piled with food. The half-blood didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. He had calmed Banyan in a way no one had ever been able to. No one except Urijah. He was grateful to Tessa’s brother for giving him that bit of peace. Banyan wondered what else Tamian was capable of.

The conversation at the table caught his attention. “Deacon was pissed,” Jasper said, growling. “But Trevor apologized for running off before whipping his ass at video games.”

“How is Travis doing?” Lorenzo asked.

Banyan had met Jasper’s mate when they both came to California to help out when Sixx’s son was poisoned. He had not met Trevor’s brother, but he’d heard all about the human and how Trevor was cloned because Travis had a bad heart.

“He’s getting stronger every day. Being around Amelia helps. That little girl seems to bring him out of his funk more than even Molly can,” Jasper said. “And working alongside Rafael has given him purpose. Trevor spends as much time with his brother as he can. I only get to see him when he comes to our house to play video games. Molly isn’t fond of me, no matter how much I’m around the dog.”

“Maybe I can help with that,” Tamian said softly. All eyes turned his way, waiting for him to explain. “I have a way with animals,” he added, shrugging.

“That would be something. If you could, I’d appreciate it. I love animals of all kinds, and I know Trevor would love to have a pet. Besides me,” Jasper joked.

Frey stepped into the kitchen. “It’s go time. The first group from our villa is on their way with Hunter to Ithaca. Carter is on standby waiting to take the first of your group. I don’t care who goes when, so if I can have ten volunteers, I would appreciate it.”

As several of the Clan stood from the table, Banyan offered to take care of the dishes since the others had cooked. He caught Frey’s eye, and the large male nodded at him. While Banyan was busy preparing the soapy water, a silent agreement passed between them. Banyan was going to hold back so Urijah could get across the sea without having to spend any more time with Banyan than necessary.