Eli stands on my doorstep and I know without a shadow of a doubt what I want. I want to be with him. I want to be with him in every way.

“I’m going to see my brother next week, I’d love for you to come meet him,” he says as I fumble with the lock.

Our ride home was quiet but comfortable. I was thinking about the events of today. How he orchestrated everything and cared to make it special for me. It’s something that I still can’t get a handle on.

“I’d like that. So, since I’m willing to meet your brother then you have to meet my friends.”

“Do I?” he tilts his head to the side.

“It’s only fair.”

“I wouldn’t want to have the scales tipped in my favor now.”

He’s too much. “One of my best friends, Danielle, has her big annual barbeque this weekend. I’d really love it if you’d come.”

I don’t have a big family for him to meet, but my girls are just as important to me. We’re kind of a package deal and I want him to know them. It’s also about time they learn about the relationship that’s happening between us.

“You’re inviting me to something?”

“It would appear so.”

“For an event in a few days?”

It’s amazing how much fun he seems to have giving me shit.

“Yes, Eli, an event, with my friends, in three days.”

“I knew you liked me.”

I smile and shake my head. “I guess you’re kind of a keeper.”

Eli’s hands slide up my back and grip my shoulders. My hands tremble, and I finally get the door open. “Heather,” Eli’s voice is low with a hint of desire, “why are you so nervous?”

My eyes meet his. “Because I want you to spend the night.” I blurt out before I lose my nerve. “I want you to stay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

And I am. I’ve never been more sure of anything. It isn’t only the emotions of today—it’s him. It’s everything about this man that has me so torn up. Eli wanted me to see him, I did, and now I want all of him.

He moves quickly, lifting me and then carrying me over the threshold. I press my lips to his as he kicks the door closed. My hands are buried in his thick brown hair as I kiss him.

“Bedroom?” Eli grunts as he bumps into the table.

I giggle and point. Our smiles are bright as he moves us. His mouth finds mine again, and he crashes into the wall. “Ouch.” I laugh.

“Sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as we find your damn bed.”

“Promises, promises,” I tease.

“You know I make good on them.”

Oh, yes, I do.

We get to my bedroom without further injury, and he places me in front of him. The moonlight shines through the windows, illuminating the planes of his face. My fingers lift, rubbing the stubble on his cheek. Slowly, my hand drifts to the other side, memorizing his features. The tip of my finger touches the small beauty mark under his left eye and then to the faint dimple on the right before moving across his lips.

I meet his gaze, and it feels like a thousand words pass between us. So many questions, promises, and worries, but I put my arms around him. I hope that, while we’re wrapped up in each other’s arms, we’ll find the answers.

“I know you’ve been hurt, but I won’t hurt you, Heather. I want to be the guy you can count on. I’m not sure how to make this work. But I’m not going to let you go. Not without one hell of a fight.”

“I worry about tomorrow,” I confess.

Eli brushes the hair off my face and kisses my lips. “We can’t worry about tomorrow, we can only own tonight. And tonight, I’m going to make sure you never forget how good we are. When you want to run away, I want this to be what you remember.”

I don’t doubt I’ll ever forget those words. There’s moments in my life that I’ve cherished, and this will be one of them. The way he looks at me eradicates all the doubts I’ve held onto. The tenderness in his touch extinguishes the fears of our future together.

Even if this is the last night we ever share, I’ll never regret it.

“I don’t want to run anymore.” My words are filled with honesty.

“I won’t let you.”

I hold his face in my hands, bring our lips together, and kiss him. Eli takes control, brushing his tongue against mine. Both our breaths are heavy as we drink each other in. This man can kiss like no other.

Eli pushes me to my back, and my heart takes off in a gallop. I watch his hands move from my hips, up my chest, and then he removes my shirt. “You’re the most beautiful thing in the world,” he comments while looking down at me.

My nerves bubble up, but the look in his eyes stop them. There’s no mistaking the passion there, but under that layer is so much honesty, it knocks the wind out of me. “The way you look at me . . .” I mutter.

“Is the way you make me feel,” Eli finishes my half statement.

Every thought in my mind is gone. I can’t hold on to anything long enough for it to make sense. The only thing I know is that I need him. I need to touch him and make him feel everything I’m feeling.

“Kiss me,” I request.

He doesn’t make me wait, his mouth is on mine in an instant. His hand cups my cheek, providing the tenderness to offset the force of his lips. I try to pull his shirt off, needing the skin-to-skin connection, but I can’t remove it.

Eli does that guy move where he reaches behind his back and pulls his shirt off in one move. God he’s sexy. I love watching the muscles tense as my fingers explore him.

I stare at the ink I’ve come to love so much. The arrows on the inside of his bicep, the words on his hip and his arm, the cross on his shoulder, and wanting to see the birds on his back. My hands glide across the one that goes from his side down over his hip. “Tell me about this one,” my voice is soft.

“It’s to remind me that I don’t have a right to judge anyone. To each his own.”

“And the birds?”

Eli moves my hair from my forehead and hesitates. “To remind me that even though I feel caged, I’m free.”

A part of my heart breaks at the sullen tone in his voice. “Do you feel caged?”

“Not when I’m with you.”

“I’m glad.” I move my fingers higher, loving that he allows me to touch him freely. “This one?” I graze along his shoulder following the shape of the cross.

“Perspective.”

I regard him with bewilderment. I definitely didn’t expect that answer, and I’m not sure what it means.

Eli seems to sense my confusion, and he gently brushes his nose against mine. “When things in life get hard to deal with, it’s easy to be angry, blame others, and forget all the good. Each day I see that tattoo, it gives me strength, humility, and drive to live the way I want.”

“Why do you have to be so perfect?” I ask.

His fingers slide against my neck and his lips brush against mine. “It’s only because you’re meant for me. I’m not perfect, baby. We’re just perfect together.”

His mouth crushes down on mine with so much passion I feel it through my toes. The power in his touch rocks me to my core. Our connection is so much stronger than the night of the concert. Tonight isn’t about hooking up with Eli Walsh. It’s about Ellington, the man that is stealing my heart so effortlessly. The man I’m quite possibly falling in love with.

He pulls the straps of my bra off slowly, placing soft kisses on my neck before fully removing it. Our mouths find each other again as his hand moves to my breast. Pulling the nipple between his fingers, rolling it, causing me to moan.

“I love the sounds you make,” he declares as his mouth moves lower.

“You make me feel so good.”

He groans, peeking at me as his tongue glides around my skin. “I love the way you taste, too. I’m going to savor you all night long.”

Gone is the sweetness in his eyes, desire has burned it all away.

“Eli,” I breathe his name as he licks around my nipple before taking it in his mouth. My hand is in his hair, fisting it and holding him there as his other hand moves to my shorts. Without much effort, he has me fully naked beneath him.

He moves back to my mouth, kissing me hard while he drives me crazy with his hands. I gasp when his finger finds my clit and he makes a circular motion. My body responds, causing warmth to flow through my veins. Everything he does feels so good. I move against him, wanting more and yet wanting to go slower.

“You’re so fucking sexy when you’re like this,” he murmurs against my ear. “When my hands are on your body, making you feel good, it’s so hot, baby.”

Eli increases the pressure and then inserts a finger. My head lolls to the side as he continues to drive me crazy. “Please,” I beg.

“Please, what?” he asks as his teeth nibble my lobe.

I don’t answer him because I really don’t know what I’m asking for. Just him. I need more of Eli. My fingers tangle in his hair while he continues to finger me and rub my clit.

My mouth falls open as I’m right at the pinnacle of my orgasm, and then I plummet over the edge. He moans against my neck while I scream his name.

Eli looks at me with a self-satisfied smirk.

The need to make him feel as good as he makes me feel takes over. I want to make him go crazy. My hand slides down his chest, and I remove his shorts quickly, freeing his cock. He allows me to push him onto his back with ease.

“Fuck,” he grunts as I grip him.

“I want to hear you make noises this time, baby.”

I pull my blonde hair to the side and kiss my way to his abdomen. My tongue leaves a trail leading to where I plan to go.

He leans on his elbows, keeping his eyes on me as I move lower. “I want to watch you suck my cock.” His voice is thick with longing.

“Well . . .” I kiss all the way down his six-pack. “It looks like you’re going to get your wish.”

Eli does exactly what he wanted, he watches my lips kiss the tip of his cock. I want him to fall apart because of me. As much as he wants me to remember this night, I want the same. Our relationship is filled with obstacles that we’ll either hurdle or trip over. I’m fully aware there are no guarantees, but I can give him this. I can give myself this.

I wrap my lips around his cock, pulling him deep into my mouth as I bob up and down, paying attention to the underside with my tongue. The noises that fall from his lips are exactly what I want to hear. He mumbles and moans as I take him deeper.

Hollowing out my cheeks, I force him to the back of my throat. Eli’s fingers grip my hair, pulling just enough to spur me harder. I love that he’s losing control. I bask in the fact that it’s my body, my mouth, and our connection that’s stealing his restraint.

“Heather! Fuck. Baby! Fuck! You have to stop.” He groans. “I want to be inside you.”

No arguments here.

He pulls me off him and flips me so fast I’m not even sure how it happened. But he throws my legs over his shoulder, and now it’s my turn to watch. “First, I’m going to taste you. I’m going to make you scream my name while I bury myself in your pussy.”

Dear God.

Eli does exactly as he promised. His tongue flicks my clit over and over, while I fist the sheets. He varies from fast to slow, drawing another orgasm to build. “Oh my God,” I breathe as he continues.

I never want this to end. I fight it off, wanting tonight to last as long as possible. If we can make love all night, I’d be happy, but Eli has no intention of delaying my orgasm. He licks and sucks the bundle of nerves until I’m panting incoherently. Then his finger enters me, curling up, and I fall to pieces. “Eli!”

A sheen of sweat covers my skin, and I fight to catch my breath. The aftershocks of my second orgasm seem to be unending. I hear him tear open the condom wrapper, and when I open my eyes, he’s braced above me.

I touch his cheek, and he kisses my nose.

Eli lines himself up, ready to enter me. “I need to be inside you. I can’t wait another second, tell me you want this.”

It’s more than want, it’s beyond that. I know that when we connect this time, it’ll be different. This is me giving him so much more than just one night. This is special, meaningful, and a part of my soul will forever be his. I won’t be able to brush this off, and I don’t want to. No matter what tomorrow brings, I know that tonight, he owns my heart.

“I want you. I want this. I want us.”

Eli fills me completely. My body, my heart, and my mind are consumed by him. The intangible connection that has been between us since the first moment, grows stronger, brighter with each stroke.

Our eyes stay trained on each other’s as we make love. It’s the most open I’ve ever allowed myself to be. There are no walls around us right now as we share ourselves. My every emotion is his to have and he shares the same gift.

I tip my hips back, drawing him deeper inside me than seems possible. Eli’s jaw clenches as he picks up the pace. “Baby,” he grunts. “Fuck. I can’t hold back.”

There’s no way this can be happening, but it is, I build again. “Don’t stop,” I request as my body pulsates with pleasure.

Eli’s hips slam into mine, driving himself harder. The sweat drips down his face, and his finger finds my clit. I close my eyes as I shatter apart, calling out his name as his release rocks though him at the same time. “Heather!” Eli yells and then collapses on top of me.

Moments pass, and I can’t bring myself to open my eyes as I feel him slip from the bed. He isn’t gone long, and when he comes back, he gathers me into his arms. Our legs are tangled together, my head rests on his chest as his fingers make patterns on my back. Neither of us say anything, we lie here, lost in all that just was.

In all my thirty-eight years, I have never experienced sex like that. It was truly two people coming together as one. We were one heartbeat, one breath, one moment in time where there was nothing other than us.

“You okay?” Eli asks.

“I’m more than okay. What about you?”

Eli makes a humming noise of contentment. I twist my head to look at his face. “That good, huh?”

His eyes open and he winks. “I’m pretty sure you’ve ruined me.”

I laugh. “You ruined me right back.”

It’s completely true. I’ll never recover from this night.

“Are you hungry?” I ask as his stomach growls.

“I’m not moving right now,” he informs me.

Works for me.

I rub my hand on his shoulder and sigh. “I like this.”

“Cuddling?”

“Cuddling with you.”

He chuckles. “You could’ve had this the first night, but you ran out.”

My cheeks burn, remembering the frantic way I threw my clothes on and rushed off the bus. “Because I had sex with you!”

“We had sex just now,” Eli reminds me as if I could possibly forget.

“So not the same.”

“We can’t go backward this time.”

I brush my thumb across his lower lip. “Please don’t make me care about you if you’re going to leave me.”

That is the bottom line to all my issues. When I care about someone, they’re gone. If I fall in love with him and lose him, I don’t know if I’ll endure.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good.”

“So, was tonight better than the first time? Or do I need to go again to be sure?” His brow raises, and I smack his chest.

“Yes, Eli, your performance was stellar.”

“Medal worthy?”

I push onto my elbow, but he pulls me back down. “You’re such a guy.”

“I damn well better be. I’m pretty confident I just proved it as well. How many orgasms was that? Two?”

Three, but I’m not telling him that. His ego is already inflated. “You should know if you were gifting them out.”

“I’m like fucking Santa Claus, only I come every night with your presents.”

I burst out laughing and roll off his chest. He shifts so he’s braced over me and gives me a brilliant smile.

“You’re really lucky you’re so hot. If you keep saying shit like that, no woman is going to stick around.”

Eli’s emerald eyes pierce mine. “There’s only one woman I’m worried about right now.”

I smile, wrap my arms around his neck, and pull him in for a kiss. “Good answer.”

His stomach growls even louder than the first time. He pulls back with a different need in his eyes. “On second thought . . . what kind of food do you have?”

“How do you feel about junk food?” I ask.

I throw on Eli’s T-shirt and hop out of bed. I’m a closet junk food freak. There’s something about cookies that I can’t quit no matter how many hours I have to spend at the gym to burn off the calories. We make our way into the kitchen, grab a few things, and plop on the couch.

“No judging.” I point at him. “I like food.”

His hands rise. “None here.”

I take the first Double Stuffed Oreo out and twist the cookie apart. The obvious thing would be to lick the icing before eating the cookie part, however, that isn’t how I roll. Instead, I grab one of the Chips Ahoy cookies and place it between the two halves, making an Oreo and Chips Ahoy cookie sandwich. I like chocolate chip cookies, and I love the icing from Oreos—so, this is my perfect cookie.

Eli watches as I take a bite, a moan filling the silence. Heaven in my mouth.

“Did you just orgasm?” he asks with a throaty chuckle.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

I scarf down two more cookies that way without feeling self-conscious at all. Eli doesn’t make me feel guilty or as if I shouldn’t be eating these things. Matt would always remind me that I wasn’t in college anymore and my figure wouldn’t remain. Just another vast difference in them.

“Your sister looked good,” Eli says before he pops a chip in his mouth.

I nod. “Today was a good day, yesterday wasn’t.”

“Does she have more good than bad?”

I sigh and drop the Frankensteined Oreo I’m making. I wish I could tell him that she did, but the last few months have definitely been weighted toward bad. “Huntington’s doesn’t usually get better. It gets progressively worse. Because Steph was so young when she presented, we were told the decline would most likely be like falling off a cliff.”

Eli takes my hand in his, probably hearing the pain in my voice. “What does that mean?”

“That once she starts to go downhill, it’ll be very hard and fast. There won’t be weeks and months of her suffering, though. That’s the one thing she says is her silver lining. I don’t know if it’s better or worse that way. I’ve had a few years with her symptoms being pretty mild, but I can’t say watching her struggle isn’t the worst part. I don’t know how I’ve survived so far. When my parents died, we didn’t have a warning. There was no time to worry. With Stephanie it’s the opposite, I’m literally watching her life slip away. I’ve been doing it with no one to help me keep it together.”

His fingers go limp and he pulls his hand up, rubbing it with the other. “I wish I could say something to make this easier for you.”

I shrug even though nothing we’re talking about feels casual. “Tell me you’re not going to leave me, Eli. Because I can’t let myself keep falling for you if this is only going to end with you walking out the door.”

“Come here,” he says as he opens his arms. I don’t waver, I move into his embrace, allowing him to hold me firm. “I’m not going to leave you.”

Being vulnerable is a scary thing. It’s hard to give anyone, let alone Eli, unfettered access to my biggest fear. I’ve been alone for a long time, and I’ve learned to handle it. This, though? I have no idea how to handle. Having a taste of Eli’s affection is enough to make me an addict. The more time we spend together, the more I crave him.

“You’re leaving soon.”

It’s the elephant in the room. We can pretend all we want that Eli isn’t who he is, but there is a reality we need to face. He has to go back to New York in less than two weeks. Our time is fading before my eyes as well. I know it’s his job, I would never ask him to stay, but I’ll be without him. Three weeks ago, I could’ve said goodbye and walked away, but when my heart entangled with his, it complicated things. Why can’t I fall for a normal guy? Why do I pick the one man who literally lives every single one of my insecurities? Because I’m dumb, that’s why.

Eli’s arm tightens. “That part sucks, but it won’t be that long. We take breaks during filming, I can come here or you can come spend time in New York. I meant what I said, Heather, we’ll make this work.”

“I have work, too. And Steph.”

“I know, I’m not asking you to give up anything, just make room for me.”

When he says it like that, it seems so simple.