“There you are,” I smile when I find Eli still sitting with Nicole in the backyard. His eyes are filled with sorrow when they meet mine. “Eli?”

With a blink, the sadness is gone. “Hey.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask quickly and glare at Nicole. I’ll kill her if she said something stupid.

“Don’t look at me.” She waves her hand. “I was warning Eli of all the ways I’ll make his life miserable if he hurts you.”

Seriously, I wonder if I can have her committed. I know she’s being a friend, but Jesus, she’s a pain in the ass. “Could you not scare him off so soon?” I ask.

Eli pulls me to his side. “I’m good. It takes a lot to scare me off. Besides, I’m pretty sure Nicole would like to meet a certain member of the band, right?” He kisses my shoulder, and I chuckle.

In one of our recent conversations, I told him the stories of Kristin’s tickets, Danielle licking the poster, and Nicole’s obsession with his brother. He called his publicist right away and got something special for each of the girls. I laughed hysterically when he told me they took a photo of Shaun licking his own poster for Danielle. I’m sure her dumbass husband is going to be thrilled.

“Shut up!” Nicole yells. “I can’t believe you told him!”

I shrug.

She turns her gaze back to Eli and huffs. “I know he’s married and all, but seriously, your brother has always been my favorite.”

Eli and Nicole are sitting on the table portion of the picnic table, and he pulls me so I’m sitting between his legs. I rest my hand on his thigh as they talk about how his sister-in-law would laugh so hard she’d pee herself hearing people talk about Randy. He tried to tell Nicole that he isn’t all that special, but she’s a dog with a bone, and there’s no changing her mind.

Nicole heads inside for another drink and then the guys come over, striking up a conversation with Eli. I sit, bored and then I encourage him to go look at whatever the hell they’re talking about. The three guys walk away, and I can’t wipe the smile off my face. He looks so domestic right now, and it’s adorable.

“Look what I got,” Nicole calls me over by holding the sangria she’s famous for.

“You’re the best.”

I take the glass, and we both take a seat away from everyone. “I think he really likes you, babe,” Nicole says as she watched me watch Eli.

“Yeah?”

She smiles. “He’s a good guy. Keep your heart open to him. I know you guys have a ton of obstacles, but he passes the best friend test.”

I think Nicole forgets we’re almost forty, and I don’t need her approval. Still, I’m glad I have it. She tends to see through people’s bullshit easier than anyone else. She also would never say it if she didn’t mean it.

“I love you.” I pull her close.

“I love you even though I’m jealous you’re sleeping with a God each night.”

“What about your threesome?”

She scoffs. “I’m over those two, I think they wanted to fuck each other more than they wanted to fuck me, and if I’m taking two men to bed, I better be the center of the world. I have my eye on someone else.”

My jaw falls slack, even though I’m not sure why. This is Nicole. She’s always been this way, and I’d be worried if she weren’t. “I can only imagine what the hell you’re up to now.”

Danielle comes over and touches my shoulder. “I can’t believe you kept this from us.”

I wanted to keep Eli to myself for as long as possible. Plus, I don’t talk to them as much as I talk to Nicole. They’re in marriages that are hanging on by a thread, and their advice is always so off base.

“Oh, please,” Nic pipes up. “Wouldn’t you want to keep that a secret? Look at him, he’s Eli Walsh. If I had him in my bed, he’d never leave, maybe bathroom breaks, but then back to the good stuff.” She winks at me and grins.

“Well, cat’s out of the bag now, tell us every glorious detail,” Kristin says through a giggle.

We sit like we’re kids again, gossiping about our first kiss, and I divulge my last few weeks with Eli.

“How about we go to my place tonight?” Eli offers.

So far, he’s stayed at my house each night. I don’t know if it was him trying to fit into my world or show he’s fairly normal, but I’ve appreciated it. Tonight, though, I want to show him the same. His world and my world will need to mesh, and that won’t happen by forcing him to fit only in my space.

“I’d like that.”

Eli takes my hand and kisses the top of it. “I’m going to like seeing you in my home.”

I like that he wants me there at all. I want to make him happy, too. Today was amazing. I knew he was uncomfortable at first, but he joked with my friends, did his best to put up with their husbands, and was all around perfect. I’d catch him watching me, smiling, or finding little ways to touch me. He was taking care of me without me even realizing it.

“Thank you for today.”

“I had fun, your friends are great.”

“They’re something all right.”

Eli laughs. “Nicole genuinely loves you.”

“I’m lucky to have her.” As much as she drives me batshit crazy, I could never imagine life without her. “All of them really, but Nicole and I have always been the closest.”

I tell Eli a little about our childhoods, which makes me laugh. We were not all that bright back then. I don’t know how we didn’t land ourselves in jail. My mother would’ve beaten my ass if she knew half the dumb stuff we tried. Kristin was always the goody two-shoes out of our clique, and our parents allowed us to do anything as long as she was there, too. I guess they hoped she’d somehow talk us out of it, the problem was, we usually talked her into things.

“Wait, you actually tried to hop the fence to get into Busch Gardens?”

“It was a dare.” If you told Nicole and me that we couldn’t do it, we found a way. “Nicole’s boyfriend worked there and said it was impossible.”

“Did it work?”

We pull into Eli’s driveway and he parks the car. He looks over, waiting for me to answer.

“You saw firsthand how well we climb fences. We’re no better now than we were then.”

Eli’s deep laughter fills the car, and he slaps the steering wheel as he lets it out. “That was the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “It was self-preservation.” It was dumb. I know it, and I can’t imagine how ridiculous we must have looked to someone else. At least I wore pants that day, otherwise, I’d have been even more mortified.

“From what?”

“From realizing I just slept with you.”

Eli shakes his head at my rationality. “I’m not sure if I should be offended. It was definitely a first for me, though. Having someone sneak out after I gave them multiple orgasms.”

I wish I could go back in time to change many things, but that isn’t one of them. Sure, I could’ve done things differently, but my last few months would be very different.

“Let me ask you this, if I’d stuck around that night, would we be sitting here today?”

He goes quiet and runs his hand through his hair. “I wish I could say yes, but you walking out that night is what made me determined to know you. I’ve never had that happen.”

“No one would dream of running from the Sexiest Man Alive.”

He chuckles. “You did.”

I lean over the center console so we’re face to face. “I would do it the same all over again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yup, because I’m here with you now, and I know if I’d stayed in that bed, you wouldn’t have chased me.”

Eli’s eyes soften, and he gives one of his cocky smirks. “I guess we’ll never know.” He moves closer until our breaths become one as we both take in this moment.

I lift my hand, tangling my fingers in his brown locks without moving my gaze from his. I see the shift from contentment to fear and then to adoration. Is he afraid of us? It’s twice today that I’ve seen something troubling him. There’s a part of me that wants to ask him, but I pretend I don’t see it.

My gut fills with dread because I know it’s the wrong choice. I’ve felt this before, and I acted on it. I used to beg Matt to talk to me, to tell me what he was feeling. Each time I tried, he pushed me away more. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. For all I know, it’s nothing, yet somewhere inside me, I don’t think that’s the case.

Eli leans in, touching his lips to mine. I work hard to let whatever I saw go and focus on right now. Our futures are undefined, and if I set us on the wrong path, we’ll crumble. I have to walk it with him and hope that we can endure the potholes and detours.

He pulls back, resting his forehead on mine. “Let’s go inside. I want to get you in my arms.”

“Sounds good to me.”

We exit the car, and he seems to be back to normal. The sun has set, and strategically placed lights illuminate his house. It looks like a freaking palace. The grandness of it all hits me the same way it did the first time. I don’t think it’ll ever fade. With my hand in his, we tour the house again, only this time he shows me all the rooms.

On the second floor, he shows me his six guestrooms, all are double the size of my master bedroom at home, with a bathroom, and decorated with extreme detail. There’s no way he chose this stuff, I can only imagine how much fun Nicole would’ve had in here.

When we enter his room, I almost pass out. It isn’t a bedroom; it’s a small house. There’s a sitting room at the far end with a full living room set up, off to the left is a fireplace that’s see through on both sides. Eli leans against the wall watching me as I walk around the room, trying to take it all in.

“This is incredible,” I say with awe.

I continue looking around the other side of the fireplace. There’s a master bathroom, if you can call it that, that leaves me speechless. The Jacuzzi tub sits off to the right, and there’s a shower taking up the entire back wall. I swear at least ten people could fit in there.

Eli clears his throat, causing me to turn quickly. “You look good here.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “I doubt that.”

He moves forward. “One day, you’re going to see how beautiful you are.”

“One day, you’ll realize that you need glasses.” I try to joke, but it falls flat. I’ve never thought I was ugly, but I’m nothing special. It’s still crazy to me that Eli thinks differently.

He wraps his strong arms around me, and I sink into his embrace. Just like that, Eli can make me feel whole. When I’m with him, my world doesn’t seem so bleak. Sure, the issues are all there, but with him, shouldering them doesn’t feel so hard.

“Let’s go to bed.” Eli’s words are mixed with double meaning.

I smile at him. “I’d like that.”

We both get ready for bed in the massive bathroom. I internally laugh at how vastly different this is from my house. I have one sink in my bathroom, and the double vanity occupies three quarters of one wall.

Once we’re done, we settle into the king-size bed. As much as I love the space, I kind of like that we snuggle in my smaller bed. Eli puts his arm out, and I nestle into his side. “I like when we’re close like this.”

He makes a low rumbling sound in his chest as I drape my arm over him. “I never realized how much I like it until it felt like you were miles apart on your side.”

“Aww, you like being close to me,” I say, teasingly.

“I like being very close to you.”

I grin and kiss his torso. “I like that you like that.”

“Are you trying to seduce me, Officer?”

I look at him through my lashes and bat them. “Me?”

He twists, hoisting me so we’re even. “I don’t mind if you are.”

“Are you seducible, Mr. Walsh?”

Eli’s lips move to my ear so he can trace the shell with his tongue before gripping it in his teeth. “Maybe you should find out.”

I move my hand under the covers, skimming over this hard body, until I find his erection. I love that he’s always ready and I never have to wonder if he wants me. There are many benefits to sleeping naked, this is one.

Eli groans as I wrap my fingers around him and my lips find his. He roughly grips my hips, digging into my flesh as I start to jerk him off.

My phone rings in my bag across the room, but I’m too lost in his touch to care.

His moan is low, and I swallow it as we kiss. I feel his hands on my breasts, kneading the skin and pulling at my nipple. The sexual chemistry we share is unlike anything I’ve had before. I’m not the most experienced lover, but Eli pushes me. I want to please him. I love knowing it’s my body he’s seeking, claiming, and worshiping.

“You make me crazy,” Eli admits before his mouth is on mine again. His hands exploring my body until his fingers brush my clit.

The phone goes off again. “Maybe you should get that,” he practically growls against my lips, and I groan.

I drop my head on the pillow and curse the phone. “Don’t go anywhere,” I warn and hop out of bed. I glance back at him as he rests his head on his hand, watching me as I prance across the room.

My phone has six missed calls from a number I don’t know. I didn’t realize it rang that much. Something is wrong, I can feel it in my bones. No one calls me that much unless it’s an emergency, and my dumbass ignored the call. “Hello?” I ask with a shake in my voice.

“Heather, it’s Anthony.”

“Anthony.” My eyes shoot to Eli’s, and he’s already tossing the covers off him. “What’s wrong?”

He pauses and dread fills my body. “You need to come to Tampa General. Please don’t wait.”

“Is she—” I choke the words as Eli’s hands grip my shoulders. I can’t say the words. I can’t ask if she’s gone, because if he says yes, I’ll lose it.

“Just get here.”

The phone drops to the floor, and Eli’s arms encircle me. Everything I thought I knew about how I’d handle this moment is false. I feel my body start to protect itself. My mind goes to a place where I can’t feel or do anything. I’m not sure how I got to the bed. I don’t know how my shirt is on my body. Nothing is real right now. It’s as if time has ceased to exist for me.

I feel hollow and lifeless.

Eli lifts me in his arms, carrying me like a child down the stairs. He barks orders to someone as we move to the car. He must be on the phone, but I truly can’t process anything around me.

The car is moving, but I can’t see anything passing by. I didn’t need Anthony to tell me she died and I wasn’t there with her. I can feel it.

My world is without my sister.

I’m alone.