“I’m hallucinating,” I say to Nicole as I explain what occurred, or at least what I think did. “He wasn’t actually looking at me, right? I’m being insane. I must be stupid drunk to be imagining this.”

She lets out one of her evil laughs while shaking her head. “You have no idea how pretty you are. I swear. Blonde hair, petite, brown eyes, big tits . . . of course he winked at you. Hell, I’d do you.”

I can’t tell if this is her typical sarcasm or if she’s being honest. Part of me doesn’t want to know. I can continue to delude myself that he was zoomed in on me. What mega superstar/sex God who can have any woman he wants would hone in on me?

Sigh, I can’t even lie to myself well.

The next song comes on, and he doesn’t glance my way once.

Okay, I’m literally certifiable.

I knew I had to be off my rocker. Now I can continue on with my life.

We drink more, sing, and I do everything I can not to stare at him. But . . . I can’t help it. He’s too beautiful to look away from. I watch the way his chest heaves as he dances around the stage in perfect sync with the other guys. How his eyes scan the crowd but still make every woman think he’s looking right at her. It’s magnetic. Eli Walsh is ridiculously sexy. Even in his forties. He’s aged so well it makes me wish I were a guy. They have it so much easier than women. My boobs were much perkier fifteen years ago.

His smile, though. That hasn’t changed one bit. It still brightens every part of him.

“Heather!” Danielle calls to me over the music. “Matt,” she jerks her head to the left.

Ugh. Why the hell is he here? I can’t escape him.

One night. I wanted one single night with no Matt, Stephanie, bills, crumbling house, or any other issue. Once again, I get screwed, and not in the way that leaves me sated at the end of the night.

I grab Nicole’s beer and chug.

“Whoa!” she says, taking the half empty can from me. “Easy there. You’re a lightweight on a good day, but I can’t remember the last time you drank like this. Pace yourself.”

“You said to enjoy myself.”

She smirks. “Touché.”

I ignore Matt standing off to the side and looking authoritative in his uniform. It used to turn me on when he got ready for his shift. Watching him put on his vest and then take his time to make sure every crease was in line. Once he was sure his uniform was perfect, he would put his gun belt on and stand with his chest puffed out. Now he looks like an old guy who thinks his middle bulge is muscle. Sorry, dude, it’s the bulletproof vest making your chest big, not what’s under it.

Kristin wraps her arm around my waist, dragging my attention from him. “Ignore all men except those on that stage.”

“I just can’t seem to get him to disappear.”

She touches my cheek. “Try to escape in the music.”

I bob my head as we sing to our favorite ballad. “I love this song.” I sigh.

“Love me till the end of . . . time,” we both sing in harmony.

“I’ll love you, Eli!” I scream.

His eyes lock on mine, and my face becomes an inferno. Heat floods my entire body as his lips turn up slightly, and he gazes at me a beat longer than last time. Everything inside me clenches. My breathing halts, and I don’t look away. Eli finally turns to do some spin with the rest of the group, breaking our moment.

I just died of humiliation. I cannot believe I yelled that and he heard me.

Kill me now.

Kristin bursts out laughing, almost falling over from her hysterics. “I think I just peed a little.”

“Shut up.”

“You yelled . . . that you love him . . . and he . . . heard you!” she manages through her fit of laughter. “Only you.”

I pretend it didn’t affect me. We had a connection. I felt it, and I swear he did, too. My heart raced and not just because it was him. Part of me was mortified, but the other part of me was emboldened. He freaking looked at me. I know I didn’t imagine it.

“Maybe he didn’t hear.”

“Oh, he heard,” Kristin shakes her head.

The girls go back to dancing around and singing along while I feel like an asshole. I hate to be the center of attention, and I hate being embarrassed. That moment was as horrifying as it was exhilarating.

I need some air. There’s no way I can look at the stage right now. If he isn’t looking at me—which I know he’s not—I’ll feel stupid. If he is—again I know he’s not—I may have a stroke.

“Be right back,” I call out to the girls.

“You okay?” Danielle yells.

“I need another beer.”

She raises her can and then I head up the stairs. The music plays in the background as I keep moving.

I arrive at the concession stand and grab two more drinks. I’m going to need them. But I decide there’s no way I’m going to feel bad. I’m allowed to let loose. Besides, I’m sure he gets this all the time. Everyone here loves him, so why the hell do I care if he happened to hear me? I don’t.

Lie.

But, no, this is the first time I’ve been out in how long? I’m going to enjoy every damn minute. I brush it off, sip my beer, and decide to own my pubescent love of Eli Walsh.

As I turn, I come face to face with Matt.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hi.” I muster all the enthusiasm I have . . . which is none.

He scans the crowd and looks at the beer in my hand. I can see the judgment in his eyes. God forbid I actually have a life. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you, either.”

Matt puffs out his chest and puts his hand on his gun belt. “Well, I figured I’d get some overtime.”

“That’s good.”

I’m not sure what to say at this point.

“So, how’s life? Steph?”

Like you care.

“She’s been good. Asked about you the other day.”

Matt rakes his fingers through his short brown hair. Seeing him like this makes it hard to forget how good things were for a period of time. Right now, he’s just a normal guy, not the asshole who broke my heart. “I’m glad she’s doing good. So, Four Blocks Down? Didn’t peg you for a groupie.”

I’m honestly shocked he’s surprised. Four Blocks Down was played at our wedding. He knows how much I love them. My bridesmaids serenaded me to my favorite Eli song.

“Attending a concert doesn’t make me a groupie, Matt. I’m enjoying a night out.”

His hand touches my shoulder. I wait for a feeling, any feeling, but nothing comes. I used to turn into a puddle when he was near me. He used to make my heart race, now he makes my head hurt.

I don’t know if I can pinpoint exactly when it happened, but we fell out of love as quickly as we fell in love. I think I cried more over losing the idea of my marriage than losing him. I wanted a love like my parents had. Instead, I got apathy and a man who was extremely jealous of my sick sister.

Matt’s thumb grazes my bare skin. “You deserve it.”

The door opens, and Nicole catches my eye. The scowl on her face makes me grin. There’s no love lost between these two.

She bumps my hip with hers, causing my beer to slosh over the rim of the cup. “If it isn’t Deputy Dickless, or should we say, Captain Kangaroo?” Nicole says before grabbing the cup and taking a drink.

Here we go.

“Hello, Nicole,” he says through gritted teeth. “And I’m a lieutenant not a deputy or captain.”

“Sooo sorry to get that wrong.” She touches her chest. “Well, as much as I don’t give a shit . . .”

“Nic,” I say, hoping to diffuse the situation. Nicole holds grudges, and the fact that Matt hurt me still enrages her.

Thankfully, she takes another swig instead of responding. When she finishes, she links her arm in mine. “On that note. I’m going to steal my best friend so we can enjoy our night without spineless men who leave their wives because they’re selfish. Bye now.”

She pulls me away.

“Bye,” I say.

Nicole squeezes my arm. “I love you and want you to please not spend another second thinking of him.”

“I’m fine. He was being really nice.”

That was part of the problem. In the beginning, I was happy. Then Steph got sicker, and my attention wasn’t directed toward him anymore. I needed to care for her, which meant Matt had to care for me. He either didn’t want to or he didn’t know how to, and it was the beginning of the end. We fought all the time and barely saw each other. Then, right before he left me, he was ridiculously nice. There wasn’t passionate lovemaking or any big grand fights. Everything was even keel.

“Good. Let’s go sing and see if you make an ass out of yourself again.”

Ugh. I regret this already.

We get back to the front row as the boys are playing one of their older songs. I don’t know why they play the new stuff. Really, no one cares. We want to pretend we’re still thirteen singing into our hairbrush microphones.

“All right, ladies,” Randy croons. “It’s that time. We’re going to take it down a notch. Maybe find that girl who only comes around once?”

My favorite song ever.

Eli walks around the stage, smiling and pointing to random women. “I feel like I need to sing to someone this time, Ran.”

Randy smirks. “You need some inspiration, brother?”

Eli continues to walk around while tapping his chin. “I need a girl who’s going to be mine. Are you her?” he asks the crowd.

People scream, jump around, and wave their hands frantically. I move behind Nicole, just in case . . . because I would rather take a bullet than go up there.

He comes around the stage and stands in front of me. His green eyes sparkle with mischief as they land on me.

He points. “You,” his voice sizzles as he stares at me.

Fuck my life.

All the blood rushes from my head. No. No way. I vaguely hear the screams around me, but I can’t move. I shake my head in protest.

Eli’s finger hooks as the bouncer comes around. “Come up here, sweetheart.”

“No,” I whisper as Nicole pushes my back forward. “I can’t.”

“You’re so going.” She thrusts me forward, and the bouncer pulls me over the rail.

I look up as Eli stands with his hand out. “Will you be my once in a lifetime?” he starts to sing the lyrics.

My heart races as I place my fingers against his palm. I pray to God I can keep myself from passing out. I’m on stage with Four Blocks Down.

Breathe, Heather, I tell myself as he walks me around while singing.

“You’re the only girl I see.” Eli hits each note. His hand doesn’t release mine as he begins to sway. This was the song that I always imagined him singing to me. “I want to wake up next to you.”

Oh, Eli . . . if only. I feel the heat burn my cheeks. What the hell is wrong with me?

Eli sits me in the chair on stage. Thank God, because I may hit the deck. I say a silent prayer for the bright lights that obstruct my view into the audience. At least I can’t see my friends doing who knows what. Or my co-workers. He kneels in front of me, holding my hand as if he were proposing. I can’t feel my extremities. I’m shaking, and it isn’t from being cold. “Will you be my once in a lifetime?” he asks again.

I know this is the damn routine.

I’ve seen them in concert at least four times, twice in high school and twice in college, but I’m completely lost to him. There are over twenty thousand fans here, but in this instant . . . it’s him and me. A girl can dream.

His hand brushes against my cheek as he hits the final note. He helps me stand and then pulls me close. “Don’t go anywhere after the show,” he whispers in my ear.

I pull back and look in his deep green eyes waiting to hear: Just kidding. But it doesn’t come.

Holy shit. He just asked me to stay? I’m being Punk’d. Seriously, where is the camera crew waiting to jump out at me?

The next song begins as the bouncer helps me back over the rail.

The girls attack me with their screams and flailing arms. I can’t speak. I don’t even know if I can breathe.

Nicole steps in front of them and holds my shoulders. “In and out, Heather.”

I focus on inhaling and shake my head. “What the hell just happened?” My mouth hangs open.

“Well . . .” She grins before continuing, “You were serenaded by the hottest guy ever.”

They ask me a million questions about what it felt like. The only thing I can say is: “Surreal.” It was freaking surreal. I would never believe that actually happened if they hadn’t shown me the video on their phones. Every glorious second is documented. I can see my face is flushed, my eyes wide, and I’m pale. Great. I look up, hoping he hasn’t seen me and my friends freaking out, but his back is to us as he sings to the other side of the arena.

I think about what he whispered to me. Did he want me to wait—for real? And why? Maybe he wants to give me a signed souvenir? It would make sense. Embarrass the fuck out of some girl and then give her an autographed T-shirt.

“Nic,” I call her over because there is no way I’m not telling someone.

“Yeah?”

“He wants me to wait after the show,” I yell in her ear.

Her face brightens. “No way!”

“It’s got to be a misunderstanding, right?” I ask.

“Or he wants you.”

“No!” She’s on crack. There’s no way in hell he “wants” me. That’s dumb.

“He already knows you love him.” She smirks.

“Whatever. There’s no way I am going to wait.”

“The hell you aren’t!” Nicole crosses her arms. “We’re staying. We’re going to find out what Eli Walsh wants because you’d be an idiot not to.”

Yeah, I’m an idiot all right—not because I don’t want to meet him but because I do. Very much.