Chapter Nine
Sarah didn’t want to go back to her apartment. Since she had been kidnapped just outside it, the thought of returning alone made her uneasy. She doubted Logan would be there anyway. Now that she was alone, she didn’t know where to go. What if Logan simply left town already?
She took off walking, wearing an oversized sweater Millie had lent her the night before, keeping the autumn chill at bay. The leaves were changing color, dropping off and laying across the pavement. The houses were silent with the morning light. Sarah realized she hadn’t contacted Mary Ann at all, that she would be late for work once it hit nine.
She should care but couldn’t bring herself to. There were more important things going on. The world Sarah lived in before the fire had shifted so much that going to a job that made her unhappy was far away. She had been kidnapped, for God’s sake, surely Mary Ann would understand. If she didn’t…then Sarah knew it would be time to finally move on.
The fire, the werewolf clans, Liam, Jin, all of it swirled in her head –
Jin. The thought of the man who was behind so much pulled her up short. Logan, telling her about how they had been family, coming to discover what a man he thought of as his brother had been doing.
It suddenly made perfect sense where he would be. Why hadn’t she thought of it sooner? She hoped she could get there in time. Sarah wasn’t used to walking so much, acutely aware that she wasn’t in the best shape, but she couldn’t let that stop her.
She got her bearings, bringing up a mental image of St. Neuri in her mind, hoping that she wouldn’t get lost, and set out to find Logan.
*
The last time Sarah had been in the graveyard was for the funeral of Millie’s father. That had been surreal, in the middle of summer, with the fog and death hanging over St. Neuri. Returning now was different. She was here for the living even though they were lost in the memories of the dead.
Sarah spotted Logan almost instantly. It was difficult not to. He was tall, broad shouldered, head hunched at Jin’s grave. She was out of breath from walking so much, feeling fat and uncomfortable but pushed those feelings down. Now wasn’t the moment to start feeling insecure about herself. More important things were going on.
She walked along the pathway and stopped to give Logan his space. Then she quietly said his name,
Logan didn’t turn to face her. “I knew you were here. Could smell you when you arrived.”
“Great. That’s…great. Amazing nose, I guess. Is that a werewolf thing?” She asked.
There was a long silence. She wondered if she had pissed him off somehow. Standing here, she didn’t know what to say, how to even begin discussing everything that had transpired.
“Do you believe me?” Logan asked, his back still to her, “About Jin?”
Slowly, Sarah walked to his side, looking down at Jin’s grave. The dirt was still fresh, nothing growing on top of it. There were no flowers or anything left for him. The grave was bare.
Logan kept talking and Sarah felt too nervous to look at him, staring at Jin’s grave instead. “I should have known. When the fog came…fogs only come in when packs are fighting. I still didn’t know. I didn’t even know that is what the fog meant. Isn’t that sad? I had always eschewed being a werewolf. I loathed that this was my life. That I had gotten stuck with this from a family who wasn’t even around. Liam always talked about learning about our past so we didn’t make mistakes. But I never learned a thing. I didn’t know what the fog meant. I thought the deaths were just done by humans. I never once thought it was Jin…”
“Bill thinks you did.” Sarah replied softly.
“How could he not? How could I ever have him believe me? He would be a fool to believe I had no idea.”
She wanted to reach out to him and offer comfort. But what could she say? It was strange to think Logan was so new to her life because things felt on another level with him; Sarah felt as if she had known him forever. She somehow knew that Logan needed to keep speaking, needed to bare his soul to her so she remained silent.
“When we split from the pack, I thought that Jin would simply form a new pack, challenge Liam and become the ruler. But we were on the move a lot, hiding from Liam. His pack had a lot of trouble tracking us. Jin was amazing at covering our scents and working within the fog. I thought he was so intelligent…” His voice grew taunt, “I was an idiot. Jin purposely kept me in the dark about what was going on. Everyone around me lied. Why would he do that?”
Sarah risked touching him. She raised her hand slowly and gently pushed a lock of hair behind his ear before speaking, “He wanted to protect you. You said you two were like family. Jin did unforgiveable things. He must have known they were. He didn’t want you to know.”
“He knew I always detested being a werewolf. Sometimes, he talked about finding a cure for me. I just don’t know if he ever cared about our friendship or if he kept me around as some sort of joke. The werewolf who wanted a cure. I’m such an idiot.”
“You believed your best friend! You aren’t stupid.” She thought briefly of Millie and her voice grew stronger, “We want to see the best in people, don’t we? Even at the risk of blocking everything else out.”
“He was killing people. I should have figured it out. Done something.” Logan paused before speaking, “I was thinking of just going to Bill. Letting him…”
“Letting him what, exactly? Kill you? For something you didn’t know and had no clue about? Don’t be ridiculous! Once you found out what Jin did, you argued against him, you wanted him to stop! He knocked you out, got himself killed! What were you supposed to do in that time?”
“I should have known!” He exclaimed, turning to face her, “I shouldn’t have let him do what he did! I shouldn’t have been so stupid! People died, Sarah, because of Jin. Because of my stupidity. All I can do now is atone.”
“Atoning doesn’t mean throwing your life away.” She said urgently, terrified that Logan was going to run off and get himself killed, “Liam is pack leader, isn’t he? What Bill is doing…going off and trying to take revenge…it goes against the pack. I don’t know much about werewolf clans but I’m guessing he is breaking a bunch of rules doing this.”
“I’m an outcast. If Liam’s pack voted to bring me to justice, I would have no choice. But Liam released Jin’s followers. He gave clemency to those who didn’t partake in the killings. We can never join a pack again.”
“See? So you belong here. Bill is going against the pack. Liam will have to bring him to heel.”
“But in the meantime, it is too dangerous for me to stay. Bill will go after you again, Sarah. Especially since you were so resourceful and escaped on your own. He won’t like that. He was always a hothead who bristled at Liam’s control of the pack. Now that Jin killed his brother, he will want revenge.”
“We will figure it out together. Please, just don’t run off.”
Logan turned to face her, studying her face quietly. Sarah felt her nerves tingle, her body scream for him. But even as those reactions swooped through her, she realized something else.
“You knew someone was coming after you. That’s why you were hiding in the Brook Street house.”
“I knew a lot of people were angry. I was trying to lie low. When you came that day, talked about that animal you almost hit with your car, I knew that my time was running out. They were getting closer. I had left as soon as you did. In my haste, I forgot some items I needed. I don’t have much, as you can tell. I had been crashing at Jin’s, jumping from job to job, but no place as my own. I decided to go back and get the stuff I forgot. That was when I saw the fire. They must have seen someone in the house, assumed it was me and set it ablaze. I almost got you killed.” He gripped her arms then, staring at her wide-eyed, “Don’t you see, Sarah? I’m bad for you.”
“No, you’re not.” She replied, “You don’t get to decide what you are for me. I will make up my mind about that. I’m sick of people trying to protect me only to leave me in the dark, struggling. I’m not going anywhere. I’m helping you. Let me help you, Logan.”
He was so handsome that her heart ached. She wanted to kiss him, to reach out, have him close against her. But now wasn’t the time. They had work to get done. Standing out in the open, in front of Jin’s grave, probably wasn’t the best idea either.
Logan must have had the same thought because he said, “Alright. Let’s get out of here though.”
“Not my place. Bill got me in front of there and it just doesn’t feel safe.” She shivered.
“To a hotel then.”
“I have no money on me. Everything is back at my apartment.” She didn’t want to return home and didn’t want to see Millie again either.
“I can cover it. Only reason I was hiding out in empty homes was because it was cheaper, easier to lay low. But we are going to end this, like you said, and I am not about to ask you to squat in some foreclosed home with me.” He smiled wryly.
She nodded. Logan turned to leave and on a whim, Sarah reached for his hand, holding it tightly in her own.
*
They opted for a hotel near the center of St. Neuri, thinking that it would be harder for Bill to try something if lots of people were around. The hotel was a cheap little thing directly behind one of the nicest hotels in St. Neuri. It had an amazing view of the parking lot and the back of the nicer hotel’s pool which was closed for the fall season.
“People hated it when that hotel was built,” Sarah said, peering up at it through the window, “Twenty stories, sticks out like a sore thumb downtown,” She closed the curtain, “Must be taking a hit with tourism down from the summer.”
Logan didn’t reply. He was busy fiddling with the TV. Sarah looked over her shoulder, seeing how tense he was. It was strange being here with him. A week ago, she couldn’t see herself in a situation like this. Holed up in a hotel room with a man she felt such a strong connection to, almost died in a fire, kidnapped by a werewolf – it was insane. No one would believe her.
She sat down at the tiny table shoved in the corner. The local paper had been left here, a day old, and she looked at it idly, wondering what to say to Logan. The front page discussed the fog and how it hadn’t returned in over two weeks. It was written by Janelle Hastings. The name brought her up short. She had gone to high school with Janelle. Strange how it felt as if Sarah circled around people their whole lives but always lost touch.
She glanced over at Logan who finally gave up, stuck on the weather station and sat down at the edge of the bed. One bed. Like a bad cliché, they had no rooms with two beds.
“Looks like a cold front is coming.” Sarah pointed out, looking at the TV.
Logan nodded silently. She felt awkward, grasping at something to talk about. What did you talk about with a werewolf anyway? A werewolf in mourning, a werewolf being hunted. When she had seen him shift at the edge of the woods…
“Where were you going?” She asked suddenly, Logan looking at her, “When you left my apartment. You shifted at the woods. That’s how I realized…”
“You were there?” He asked, “I didn’t smell you. I guess I was so caught up in how I was feeling and wanting to run off. I had no idea.”
“I went after you to talk. And then you were acting so curiously…”
“I can’t be angry with you for asking around about me. I didn’t tell you anything and I expected you to hide me. I put you in danger. I’m sorry for snapping and storming out.”
“It’s alright. I get it. I shouldn’t have asked behind your back.”
Logan sighed and flopped back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, “I was going to the crystal pools. It’s like a lake in the woods werewolves like to swim in. It’s just calming and you can see the sky perfectly at night. It brings a special peace to us. I can’t explain it. At one with nature. Just laying in the water like a big wolf,” He laughed a little, “Sounds stupid, I’m sure.”
Sarah thought of her nightmare with the lake churning blood and shivered. It felt as if she had been to the crystal pools already.
She decided not to tell Logan of her nightmare and make him worry more, “It sounds lovely.”
“I thought I could go there and clear my head. When I came back for my clothes, that was when I saw Bill’s calls about you. I went off to track you. I wasn’t going to wait for him to give me some location. What Bill has in brute strength doesn’t extend to being clever. I picked up your scent almost instantly.” He propped himself up on one elbow, looking at her steadily, “I cannot imagine how you felt.”
“It was terrifying. We had just met. I wasn’t sure…”
His lips pursed. “You didn’t think I would come for you?”
“For someone you just met? No. I wasn’t sure. I haven’t exactly had the best luck with people. They tend to…forget about me.”
Logan slid off the bed at that and crouched in front of her. To her shock, he grasped her hands in his, staring at her steadily.
“I would never forget about a woman like you.” He said, “In the short time I have known you, I have seen your kindness, how clever you are, resourceful, determined, loyal. Traits I didn’t think people even had anymore. But you do.”
His hand rose to cup her cheek. The touch was electric, goosebumps breaking out along her skin. Sarah was knocked over at how intense every interaction with Logan was. His thumb grazed her cheek gently.
“When I found out you were kidnapped, there was no hesitation. I knew I would save you. But you saved yourself. Didn’t need me at all.”
“I did need you.” Sarah replied honestly.
“For someone thrust into this world, you are handling it beautifully. With strength and determination that others around you have severely lacked, trust me.” His voice was soft and gentle, Sarah felt herself lulled by it, wanting to curl up with him and sleep soundly.
“But Bill is still out there. And even once we get rid of him, you’re an outcast from Liam’s pack. Staying in St. Neuri must be difficult.” She whispered.
“Let’s just worry about Bill before anything else.”
“I don’t want you to go.” She whispered.
Logan’s face tilted back and then he leaned forward. Their lips met, crushed together, the heat rolling between them. Sarah gasped, muffled against his lips, from how badly she wanted another kiss, how desperately she wanted him. His tongue was in her mouth, exploring her, she could taste him. She wanted more of him, wanted to –
His cellphone buzzed loudly against the night side table he placed it on earlier. It jolted them out of the kiss. Sarah pulled away from him, blushing hard as he looked at the phone before answering it.
“Liam. No, no, she is with me. We’re hiding out.” Logan said, glancing at her briefly. “Listen, I can’t wait around for your pack to track Bill down. It’s going to cause strife with your pack. You realize that, surely? A lot of people want me dead. With Jin gone, and the rest of the pack labeled outcasts or run out of town, they are going to want to come after me. I get it.” More silence as Liam spoke. “No, I can’t come back to Millie’s. No, I don’t think Sarah wants to either.” He looked at her and she shook her head. “I gotta go, Liam.”
He ended the call and sighed, running his hand across his face. “Liam wants us at Millie’s. They’re trying to find Bill to bring him in but I don’t think it will be that easy. Bill won’t stop until he gets his vengeance.”
“How did you know I didn’t want to see Millie?” She asked.
“Just a feeling. A look in your eye. I think you are upset they weren’t honest with you.”
“I deserved to know what I was getting into from my best friend. And I guess I’m…still angry. With things from the past with her.”
To her disappointment, Logan sat on the edge of the bed, away from her. She tried to hide it, not wanting to look clingy.
“Liam is a great guy. The way he balanced the pack split…some people went after him, said he should have done more. But Jin was a master at hiding his scent, blending into the shadows. He always had been. Going against that, Liam had his work cut out for him.”
“He killed him, didn’t he?” She asked suddenly, the thought striking her.
“Yes. I don’t know the specifics. I never even asked him directly. But knowing what I know now, Jin would have cornered him. Forced him into combat. There would only be one person walking away from a werewolf fight like that.”
She shivered, wishing very much for her life of a month ago, where things made sense. Not with Millie knowing about werewolves and her boyfriend fighting them in a battle to the death.
“That takes a lot of bravery.” Sarah replied.
“Those are the sort of things you have to do as pack leader.” Logan mumbled although it seemed mostly to himself.
A thought struck her. “God, I didn’t call Mary Ann at all today. She’s going to wonder where I am. I am so fired.”
Logan held out his phone. “Here. Do you know her number by heart? You can use my cell.”
She did, unfortunately. A byproduct of putting work before taking care of herself. She gingerly took his phone, trying to ignore the quelling anxiety rising in her chest. Not wanting Logan to hear her boss yell at her, Sarah excused herself out of the hotel room and stood in the hallway.
Mary Ann answered on the third ring, sounding professional as ever up until the moment Sarah revealed it was her.
“Where have you been?” She asked, her voice hardening to a fine point. “You didn’t show up for work today. You didn’t call out sick. I had to check my voice mails by myself today and I had over twenty-five. You know I need someone checking my voice mails and taking care of them for me,” She said in one breath, not allowing Sarah to get a word in, “I need you back tomorrow, please. I got two new foreclosures to list tomorrow.”
“Mary Ann, I can’t.” The words popped out of her mouth before it even fully hit her what she was saying.
Her boss fell silent for a brief moment, like someone pulled the plug, before saying, “What?”
“I can’t come in tomorrow. Something came up.”
“What do you mean? Something came up – what, exactly? This is ridiculous, Sarah, this week you have been –”
“I’ve been what?” Sarah asked, her anger spilling over, “I almost died in a fire and you gave me a single day off after blaming me for it. You blamed me for the fact Millie didn’t sell her house because she got a boyfriend. You’ve been punishing me for things completely out of my control. I can’t come in tomorrow. Or the next day. I can’t be at your beck and call like this anymore.”
“What are you saying?” Mary Ann asked.
“I quit. I don’t want to be treated like this anymore. I don’t deserve it. I deserve respect.”
Mary Ann made a strangled noise of shock on the other end. “Sarah, you have no job lined up. Have you taken leave of your senses? Do you think you can just go to another real estate company after quitting without any notice? Do you know what I’m going to tell people? I will make sure no one will hire you.”
“Fine. I don’t care. I never cared about real estate. I just got stuck.” She looked at the hotel door, thinking about how much things changed in the past week.
Mary Ann spluttered, shocked, trying to make sense of how things suddenly shifted right under her. But Sarah wished her a good night and hung up.
She looked at the massive hotel across the street, lost in thought. Things couldn’t return to the way they were before. They would be forever different – not just her life, but the way she saw the world. A job making her that unhappy wasn’t worth her time. She would come through on the other end, somewhere better and hopefully happier.