Sam
The following week dragged for Sam. She couldn’t believe how much stuff she had accumulated while living in Florida. She had a difficult time getting an appointment with a real estate agent and wasn’t thrilled when she did meet her. It appeared to her that the lady acted like she was being bothered. It only took Sam about fifteen minutes of talking with her to know she wasn’t the right agent. After that dreadful conversation, she prayed about it and decided to not worry about selling, at least not for the moment. If it was meant to happen it would. If not, then she would have a place to stay if she wanted a vacation of her own.
As the week moved on she worried more and more about how it would be to live in Torrington again. Her stress wasn’t about starting her own restaurant or about moving into a new house. What worried her most was how she would handle being honest with Junior about her growing feelings, that she wanted more than friendship with him. The idea of it all terrified her. She worried whether he would still want her. Fear of him having met someone else came to mind a lot. One day her fretting caused a terrible headache and she had to sleep it off.
Thankfully, she didn’t have too many people she needed to say goodbye to, but for the ones she did, it wasn’t easy. Goodbyes were never easy. She had gone to the restaurant and talked to Steve. Everyone there was happy to see her, but sad she was moving. Tibet, the bartender, seemed to take it the hardest. Even though he never actually asked her out she knew he had a thing for her.
“So, this is it, huh?” Steve asked.
“Well, I won’t say I’ll never be back. I’m keeping my bungalow in case I need to take a week or so away from all the snow. When that happens I’ll definitely come and see all of you.”
“I hope you do,” he told her and gave her a hug. He wished her the best of luck with her new business and waved goodbye as she drove away.
During the week, Sam also talked to her neighbor, Wanda, so she would know what was happening. She didn’t want her to worry if she didn’t see her again. She enjoyed a few more walks with Sheeba, more for therapy than anything else. She would truly miss that loving furry dog. She had already decided to get a dog once she got settled.
On her last full evening in her bungalow she had mixed emotions, stronger than those she had all week. She was beginning to feel alone again and missed Tonya terribly. She thought about calling Junior, and thought she probably would, but the first person she called, who she knew would understand, was her mother.
“Hey, Momma,” Sam greeted her when she answered.
“Hey baby. Are you okay? It’s getting late and you don’t normally call at this hour.”
“I know. Are you busy? I just felt like hearing a comforting voice.”
“No, honey. I’m not busy. Talk to me and tell me what’s bothering you.”
She always loved how her mother could provide comfort with the sound of her voice. She felt guilty for not calling her enough.
“Well, it’s partly the move and partly being tired.”
“And? Come on, spit it out.”
“I’m scared.”
“Of what? You haven’t scared easily before. Is it something that I don’t know about?”
“How much time do you have?”
Sam went into the entire story of what happened between her and Junior. She told her about his confession to her and about how it affected their friendship. She told her how she convinced herself she could never love again and how her feelings changed over time. She even added the part when he kissed her goodbye when she left Torrington.
“So, what you are telling me is that not only were you wrong back then, but you are beginning to fall in love with him. Is that what you are saying, honey?”
Sam wasn’t a hundred percent sure what she was saying, but deep down she knew her mother was right. She usually was.
“I’m scared, but…”
“It’s okay to be scared. Sweetie, you went through so much over the past, well, almost two years. What you had with Chris was a lovely and beautiful thing that so many people don’t ever get. You know in your heart he would want you to have that again don’t you? Junior is a good man.”
“I know he would want me to. I’m trying to come to terms with all of it. I’m hoping when I get back up there and get settled I’ll feel better about all of it.”
“Have you told Junior how you are feeling?”
“No, not yet.”
“Well, why not?”
“I don’t know. I know I need to. I guess because I want to do it the right way. I don’t want to tell him over the phone or in an email. After I get moved in my house I want to have him over and cook for him and tell him face to face. I’m hoping he will want to hold me and kiss me the way he did that first time.”
“I’m sure he will. Have faith honey. It will work out the way it’s supposed too.”
She thanked her mother for listening to her babble and told her she loved her. They said goodnight and Sam said she would start calling more often.
***
Junior
The past week for Junior was a week he could easily put in the record books. At least he could if he considered being totally confused and having no clue about anything a record. He had trouble in his heart over two women and he had no idea how to handle it. He had never in his life been in such an uncomfortable situation before. Less than two weeks before he had met a beautiful lady at Cape Cod and allowed himself to have a good time only because he thought he had no chance with the one woman he was in love with. He had tried to convince himself he was moving forward and didn’t feel the same about Sam, but she threw a wrench in his plans. It really caused some confusion for him.
Sheila was only an hour away and they had talked several times on the phone. She asked if he wanted to see her and he said yes, so they made plans to go out soon. As that day drew closer he was beginning to dread it. He didn’t know what was happening to him or for him. He couldn’t even tell the difference and it was extremely frustrating.
To Junior, Sheila wasn’t only beautiful on the outside, but just as much so as a person. In such a short time together they enjoyed deep conversation and many laughs. They had come close to being deeply intimate in bed and barely managed to walk away before anything happened. It had been one of the hardest things he had had to do in a long time. He could still remember their kiss on the beach and the one in front of her door. Both had been incredible and he admitted he wanted more of her. Not only in a physical sense, but he wanted to get to know her as a person. He wanted to get to know her on a deeper level, as she recently said to him.
Then there was Sam. He was struggling with feelings he thought he would be able to manage. He had to ask himself if she was moving back to Torrington because of him. What if that was part of it? What if he did have a chance with her? Would he allow himself to fall deeper into his feelings for her or would he try to see what would happen with Sheila?
As he finished his workout at the gym he thought about going for another thirty minutes on the treadmill. For no other reason than to pass time, but he decided against it when he could feel a cramp beginning to form in his thigh. He needed more B12 and zinc in his diet.
When he got home the first thing he did was down a glass of cold water and a couple of multivitamins. After his shower, he relaxed on the couch with a snack. He would have to get in bed soon. His work week started again soon and he was already tired just thinking about Monday.
He looked at his phone to see if he had any messages and saw he had two missed calls—one from Sheila and the other from Sam. He closed his eyes and rested his head back.
“What am I going to do?” he asked himself. “God, I need Your help on this. I know I don’t do as good as I could or should, but I do need some help. I am in a tough situation. Please, tell me what to do.”
He wanted to talk to them both, but he dialed Sam’s number first. He would feel guilty whichever one he called, but her number was the one that beckoned him. When she answered, his heart felt like it picked up several paces and he drew in a deep breath.
“Hey, I called you earlier. I guess you were busy,” she implied.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I was at the gym. I just got home a little bit ago then took a shower. I just now looked at my phone. How are you doing?”
“I’m tired and a little stressed out. The big day is tomorrow.”
“I understand. Moving can do that to you. I don’t have as much experience with it as you do, but I know it’s tough especially when it’s such a great distance. Are you excited though? I mean, are you looking forward to being back here?”
“Surprisingly, yeah and I say it that way because of the cold weather I didn’t have to deal with last year. That was part of the reason I left,” she laughed. “But, yes I look very forward to getting settled into my new house. You’ll love it when you see it.”
He had hoped she would say she looked forward to seeing him.
“I’m sure I will. I have no doubt that if you love it, then it’s beautiful, as are you.”
Sam whispered, “I really look forward to spending time with you. I miss you in so many ways, Junior. There’s more I want to tell you, but I’m scared and not sure I can do it without losing myself.”
Junior sat forward, his heart beating harder. He needed to calm down before he had an anxiety attack. Was this happening? Was she saying there was something more she wanted, but wasn’t sure how to say it? Or was he still wishing?
“What do you mean, Sam?” He tried to urge her softly. He didn’t want to pressure her, but he was dying to finally know if she wanted the same that he did. He thought about Sheila again, and knew he would have to be honest with Sam about her. That was a discussion he wasn’t looking forward to. “You can talk to me about anything.”
“I know,” she said, barely loud enough for him to hear. She got quiet and he could hear her breathing. “Can I ask you something? Will you be completely honest with me?”
“Yes, of course.”
She knew no other way than to just blurt it out as she battled with her emotions and tangled her fingers in her hair. If she wasn’t careful, she would go bald, the way she’d been playing with it lately.
“When you were on vacation, were you alone? I’m sorry I’m asking, but I need to know how you still feel about me. I guess what I’m trying to ask is…are you still in love with me?”
He could feel the room spinning as he again sat back and had to close his eyes. She was asking him two questions, at the same time, either of which could change the course of his life. He knew he would have to be honest answering both. The consequences would be severe otherwise. Drawing hope and strength from his earlier prayer, he answered her the best he could.
“Sam, I’ve never stopped being in love with you. I’m as much in love with you today as I was when I told you that night in your apartment.” He could hear her breathing and thought he heard a sob. He continued, “The answer to the other question is yes, I went to the Cape alone, but I did meet someone there. Please, don’t take this the wrong way, Sam. When I didn’t hear back from you, and after you told me you didn’t want the same from me as I did from you, I have been trying to move forward. But I love you, Sam.”
“Are you seeing her now?” Sam asked. Her voice sounded nervous and shaky.
“She lives on the other side of Hartford. I haven’t seen her yet, but we have talked and we are supposed to go out for dinner this week. Sam, I didn’t know. Honestly.”
He could hear her crying and he was torn by the sound of her tears.
“I screwed everything up by being so stubborn. I’m so sorry, Junior.”
“Please, don’t cry. Sam, there’s nothing serious between me and her. I mean, yes, I like her, but we just met at the beach. Sam, I have been in love with you for years. I still love you.”
“I wasn’t going to tell you any of this until I moved home. I wanted to do something special for you once I was settled and have you over and cook you a nice dinner before I told you.”
He felt there was more coming, so he asked her, “Is there something else you want to say?”
“I thought I was strong. I thought I would never be able to allow my heart to be given to anyone ever again, but I was so wrong.” She paused to catch her breath. “I more than miss you. I more than want you. I love you.”
Her words were ones Junior had longed to hear for what felt like forever. He almost cried when she said them. They talked for another hour, eventually moving on from such a deeply emotional conversation. One thing they both agreed on—they couldn’t wait to see each other.