Navy
I hear voices. Nothing makes sense. My body moves, lies still for a few beats, and then moves again. I fight through the foggy haze to make out a word but can’t. I put sounds together only to come up empty-handed. The more I struggle, the foggier my brain becomes until exhaustion takes over.
After the ninth or tenth attempt, I give up. I don’t feel or hear a thing again until a warm body is pressed up against mine. I smell him first and know it’s J.J. My smooth sheets don’t warm my skin. Something is different. I’m not in my bedroom. I can’t smell Faye’s homemade cooking or hear her hum. The panic becomes real. My muscles jump and flinch to awareness. My mind continues to fog over in confusion. My body is exhausted and drained. I can’t open my eyes because I simply don’t have the energy to do so.
“Rest, baby. Everything is going to be okay. We are safe.”
J.J.’s voice floats into my thoughts. I hear him, feel him, and his scent wraps me up in a net of safety.
“Your baby is okay. You’ll have to take it easy for a few days. The bleeding coupled with you being anemic wiped you out. God, I felt like there was so much blood, but it was just the shock factor. Even though you are growing stronger each day, it was a minor setback. I got you.”
I got you. Those three words cause tears to sting behind my eyelids. His arms wrapped me up, cementing his promise. The affection and despair in his voice make me believe him. I have no clue what’s going on, but I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have a serious connection with this man. He feels it as much as I do.
My eyelids flutter open after several attempts. A candle offers a soft glow in the dim room. I struggle with my body to roll over, move, or do something, but it won’t. After failed attempts, I squeeze his hand.
“Navy.” He leans up on an elbow, peering over at me.
I try to smile. I fail.
“Baby.” He cradles my face in his large palm. “Jesus, thank you.”
Water. I need it more than I need him right now. I can’t talk or bring my hand to my throat to tell him. I manage to lick my lips, and J.J. picks up on it like he always does. Without a second thought, he’s out of the bed and bringing back a bottle of water to me.
He doesn’t hold it out to me but places it on my lips, waiting for me to take a sip. The cool water is refreshing my entire body, soothing away the dryness. I nod for another one.
“Just a little more, baby, you’ll get sick.” J.J. tips the bottle again, letting me gulp a few swallows.
He drops to his knees on the side of the bed, clutching both my hands in his.
“You’re pregnant, yay?” He smiles wide at me.
I blink.
“You are still pregnant. Squeeze my hand if you want me to keep talking.”
I do my best to do what he said.
“Came to your room at noon. You were still sleeping, or that’s what I thought. I slipped out of my jeans and crawled into bed with you. You were bleeding. I panicked.” He shuts his eyes in pain.
I squeeze his hand in reassurance. This time it was a stronger reaction, surprising myself.
“Gunshots lit up my house. I raced you down to the office. Jordan sent his men to get you. They are all dead. We left and came here to this cabin. It’s safer, and no one outside my circle knows about it. One of my security men was a medic in the military. He helped you. Stopped at a doctor’s office on the way and found the heartbeat. Your baby is fine.” He pauses, peering down at my arm. “Spent a few hours there while you had fluids and iron pumped in you. The doctor suspects you were carrying twins and lost one of them. He explained it’s rare. However, with you not receiving any prenatal care, it’s hard to determine. But the other baby has a strong and steady heartbeat. Don’t admit it much but was scared as hell they would find us while we were there. We drove five hours through the night, weaving back and forth instead of taking the direct route to the cabin. I do not doubt in my mind that we were not followed.”
I nod and lick my lips again. It’s as if he can read my mind.
“You are safe. Your baby is going to be okay. Your daughter is on her way here. We have her in our custody. Kemp and Dax are going for her in a few days. Your life is coming full circle, baby.” He leans forward, catching me by surprise when he presses his lips to mine. It’s as natural as breathing is. I muster up enough energy to kiss him back, or at least that’s what I imagine in my head.
He goes to stand up, and I panic, grasping for his hand.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m not leaving you.”
I trail him as he rounds the bottom of the bed. He makes good on his promise, crawling back into bed right behind me. His muscular arms are looping around my body until I’m pressed against his solid chest.
I want to say so much at this moment, tell him I’ve never felt so safe even though I’m staring at the climax of danger. And also that I’ve never felt so loved and cherished by someone else. The sensation coursing through my veins creates a warm and euphoric feeling, reminding me how heavy my eyelids are. I give in without a fight.
I have no idea how much time passes. Time has become irrelevant in my life considering I’m living on borrowed time. The one thing that is different—I roll over. My limbs are still heavy, but I can move. I roll over to an empty bed. Was last night a dream? My palms go down to my abdomen. The slight baby bump is still there. My fingertips dig into the flesh.
J.J.’s deep voice, reassuring words, and touch are non-existent. It must have been a dream. The sweetest of them all. Yet the room is different. So very different from my space at his house.
“You are awake.”
I look up to see J.J., who has a towel wrapped around his midsection, hair still dripping wet from the shower, and a twinkle in his eyes.
I nod, confused as all get out.
He steps closer to me with one hand on the knot at his hip. I watch his thick thighs flex as he moves. The night, I’m not sure how many nights ago, flashback into memory. Me on top of him, him holding me as I ground against him. It’s a memory not even my worst nightmare can erase.
“How are you feeling?” He sits on the edge of the bed, placing his hand on my exposed thigh.
“I don’t know.”
His hearty chuckle fills the room. J.J.’s rare dimples light up his face.
“You’ve been through a lot.”
I place my hand over his. “I had a dream.”
“Tell me about it.” His fingers dig into my thighs.
It’s not a dangerous gesture; it’s a reassuring one.
“You told me I was bleeding, and we are in a cabin…”
“Yeah, baby, you heard me. You are safe and okay.”
“You know?” I ask, already feeling all my energy zap from my body.
He nods. “I do.”
“Are you angry?” I slap my palm over my mouth, knowing it’s not okay to ask.
“Not at all, Navy. How can I be pissed when you escaped a monster? The same one who treated you worse than an animal. Not only did you escape but came out in one piece with a child growing inside of you.” He squeezes my thigh again. “However, if you ever hide something from me that is detrimental to your health again, we will have words.”
I wince, recoiling on instinct. The movement doesn’t go unnoticed, but it’s the kindness and his gentle touch that grounds me.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?” He tilts his head.
“For everything.” I shut my eyes, not wanting to face the facts and future. It’s so much easier when everything is dark. “You having to take me to pay a debt that was no debt, just more of Jordan’s fucked-up mind games. Me being more work than a newborn overcoming fears. Now, this. You’ve been uprooted from your home and your business.”
He doesn’t respond this time. I feel him move, then his lips are on mine. He kisses each worry away with gentle ease. J.J. moves over me, caging me under his massive body, planting his elbows on either side of my head and framing me in. I’ve never liked this position until now. There’s no threat.
“Tell me to stop, Navy,” he begs, running his lips over mine.
“I can’t.” It’s a barely there whisper. The commitment behind each word shocks me. “I’d crumble without you, J.J.”
“Yeah?” He quirks up a brow while running the pad of his thumb over my cheek.
I nod. “I don’t know how to do any of this. I’ve only been in a relationship with…”
He seals his lips over mine for a brief second, halting my words. “Not in here. Not in our lives. He doesn’t get that power anymore.”
“Okay. I’m just not good at this. I feel like I’ve been cracked open, crushed, and you’re bringing me back to life. You deserve better.”
“That’s where you are wrong. I deserve nothing, baby. One day I’ll share with you how broken of a man I am. It’s not a side I ever talk about. I hide it away, only allowing it to haunt me in the dark.”
“It’s why you need silence?” I ask, remembering what he said after the night with his hookup.
He rubs his forehead against mine before answering me. “You’re becoming my silence.”
That makes me smile. “Really?”
“I’m drowning in you, Navy. Can’t stop it.”
“That makes me happy. I’ve always felt so useless and worthless for the last eight years.”
“Again, tell me to stop, Navy.”
I don’t have a chance to respond before he’s attacking my lips again. I’d never tell this man to stop. He’s done nothing but protect me. He’s dangerous and fierce but the complete opposite with me. He’s my warrior. The one my momma promised would always come for me in my fairytale. I’d lost hope until J.J. York.
The kiss brings me back to life with each swipe of his tongue in my mouth. His well-defined body glides up and down with only a thin towel shielding his naked form from mine. A vicious cycle brews inside of me. I hunger to take care of him, yet my body is still too weak. I’m not ready to go all the way, but I’d give anything to reach down and stroke him until he’s groaning out his release. All in time. All in time.
I don’t recognize this girl. Her thoughts have hijacked mine. Her body writhes in me, craving and thirsty for more of the man who brought her back to life with his gentle ways. What I do know is I like this girl.