Navy
“Baby.”
I feel kisses on my forehead.
“Sparrow, it’s time to wake up.”
I jolt awake. Startled. Fumbling around in the bed. Belle’s flannel pink nightgown grazes my palm. It soothes away my worry in an instant.
“If you want a shower, it’s time to get up. Faye is out in the hallway.” J.J. stands up, running his palm over his bare chest.
I nod and throw back the blankets, creeping out of bed. Faye enters the room the same way we’ve done the last week and a half. I sleep with Belle in my arms every single night. Faye has hinted it’s not the healthiest of things. But I don’t give a shit. I’ve missed out on years of her life and won’t miss another one. J.J. has told me to follow my heart, and that would be the right choice, so I have.
When I enter J.J.’s master bedroom, his bed is already made like it is most mornings. I have a lingering feeling he hasn’t been sleeping since I’m not next to him. The Jacuzzi tub is filled to the brim. The scent of oranges and lavender fill the space.
“A bath?” I peer over my shoulder and ask.
“Yeah, thought we could relax a bit.” He runs his hand over his head.
I answer by stripping naked in front of him. J.J. closes the distance between us, bending down to kiss the top of my shoulder. He spends time kissing and licking my scars like he does every time. It’s working, erasing away the pain.
He slips into the oversized tub first with bubbles swallowing his beautiful body and holds a hand out to me. I ease between his spread-out legs, relaxing back on his chest. We don’t say anything for a long time as J.J. runs a washcloth over my skin in a massaging motion. I roll my head over to his shoulder to look up at him.
“Are you okay?” My arm laces up to loop around his neck.
“Perfect now.” He thrusts his hips up, pressing his erection along my back.
“You seem off, baby. What’s wrong?” My lips run along his jawline.
I’ve learned how to read this man like an open book. It’s an easy task since he wears his emotions on the outside. He’s stressing over something. I see it in the tick of his jaw, his stiff shoulders, and taut hands.
“It’s time,” is his simple reply.
“For?” My body twists in his lap until I’m straddling his thighs and my arms loop around his neck.
“We found him. Kemp and I are leaving in the morning.” He drops his forehead to mine, letting out a gust of air.
“Okay.” It’s not the response screaming to get out of me. Far from it. I hunger to beg him to live here forever and tell him we don’t need the outside world. We can thrive here. It’s all a façade, though. J.J. has to do what he must to put out a threat to our world.
“I’m doubling the security guards here, and Faye knows the ins and outs of a safe room in the basement. I have no doubt everything is secure here. Every single phone line, web connection, and deliveries we’ve had are secure and followed up on.”
“Okay, I can do this, J.J.” I brush my fingertips over his clean-shaven face. “Just come home to me.”
“I will.” He raises my hips, and I do the rest, settling on him. “I don’t break promises, Sparrow.”
“I know. It’s what I love about you.” I grip the back of his neck, tugging on his hair.
I move up and down relishing and cherishing each sensation. My core tightens ready to go off any minute. J.J.’s fingertips dig into my hips as he slams me up and down.
“Love?” He quirks a brow.
“Yes, I love you.”
He throws his head back and snaps his eyes shut. His grunts set me off, making my back arch, and my moans escape me.
“There have only been two people that have told me that.” He licks his lips. “Forgot how fucking good those words feel, Sparrow.”
He thrusts up into me three more times before a guttural moan wraps me up. Two more light pushes up into me until he collapses underneath me.
“Navy.” He cups my face in his massive palms. “Never said this to a woman, but I’m ready. Be patient with me.”
“Go ahead.” I shut my eyes, only wanting to focus on his voice and words.
“I love you.”
I’m so sick of crying. It seems it’s all I’ve done the past few months. The tears are welcome this time as the action of love engulfs me. We hold each other until the water turns cold, and the sun begins to rise above the mountains.
It’s not J.J. who takes care of me when he gets out of the bathtub. It’s me running the towel up and down his muscular legs, narrow waist, and broad chest. I don’t stop until he’s dry, and he grabs a pair of his black boxers from the counter.
J.J. leans down and kisses my forehead. “Go get ready for Belle. She’ll be awake anytime.”
I grab his hand before he turns away from me. Never knew real love existed and could happen as fast as it did. God sent me the right man after years of enduring hell. There’s no way I can process this and don’t even want to begin.
“I meant it, J.J. I love you.”
“Love you too.” He squeezes my fingers. “Have never felt this, and even through all the turmoil it feels damn good. Do you need to journal?”
“Nope.” I pop the p, sending it echoing around in the bathroom. “Only good memories from now on.”
We both hear Faye talking to Belle. I race into my clothes, wanting to get to her as soon as possible. When I peek in the door, Faye is sitting on the edge of the bed leaning over Belle, telling her a story. The love I feel is unreal.
“Can you be my grandma?” Belle’s tiny voice asks.
“Oh, honey.” Faye brushes her wild curls back. “I am your grandma.”
Belle squeals and then asks another question. “Where is my mommy?”
I brush at the tedious tears streaming down my face. “Right here waiting on a little princess to wake up.”
Faye ushers us downstairs. Over the last week and a half, she’s treated Belle the same way she did me. Filled her plate with food and encouraged her to help in the kitchen. It was like pulling teeth for the first days. Now, Belle races us down to the kitchen, snagging her yellow apron Faye sewed for her. I swear the woman possesses magic, but she insisted it was a simple pattern made out of a scrap of material.
“Where is my breakfast, women?” Kemp pounds his fist on the island top.
Faye gives Belle a look that shoots her into action. Belle grabs a wooden spoon off the island and chases Kemp around the living room. They dodge furniture giggling the whole time. Kemp ends up catching her, tossing her up in the air. Belle wraps her little arms around Kemp’s neck before insisting on being put back on the floor to race over to her bowl of batter.
Strong arms wrap around me from behind. I relax without a second thought back into J.J. I grab my mug of tea and sip on it.
“She’s happy,” he murmurs in my ear.
“She is,” I reply.
Belle has yet to open up to J.J. She stays clear from him for the most part. I know it’s mostly his fault because he doesn’t open up as easy as Kemp or have his natural charisma. It’s his oversized, kind, and loving heart buried underneath his thick exterior that will end up winning her over.
I give his locked hands around the middle of my waist an extra squeeze. I can feel his tension from him holding me. J.J. kisses my temple, grabs his coffee, and settles in his spot at the island. My heart hurts for him seeing the torture in his expression. I vow to make this the best day possible for him. It’s the least I can do when he’s going to kill the man who tortured me for so many years.
My hands roam down to my barely there baby bump. I’ll never know who the real dad is, and it doesn’t matter. J.J. will be there. Panic and dread set in with thoughts of him not returning after tomorrow. I push them away, focusing on Belle’s sweet giggles as Faye squirts a dollop of whip cream on the tip of her nose.
I ground myself, having a difficult time believing this is my life. It happened in one fell swoop, and I’m done second guessing myself.
“Come here, princess Belle.” I pat the counter.
She skips over to me, and I place her on the barstool next to mine. She wastes no time digging into her pancakes and bacon. From the information J.J. provided me, Belle was never physically abused at the orphanage. Properly taken care of? No. Emotionally abused? Yes. It was clear the first night she came here food was a big trigger for her. The girl has an appetite and isn’t afraid of eating her fill any longer.
I shuffle the flashcards and lay one down in front of her. She traces the letter C, studies it for a while, and then proudly shouts C. I take a bite and keep flashing her cards. Belle should’ve already had two years of preschool and a half year of kindergarten, but she had neither. The orphanage claimed she was too immature to start school. She’s soaked up learning the alphabet.
“Momma, Belle starts with a B.” She smiles at me with pride in her eyes.
“Yes, it does. Good job.” I kiss her cheek.
“Kemp told me boobs starts with B too.”
My eyes flare wide open. J.J. spits out his coffee, and Kemp rises to his feet, holding up his hands.
“Now, I didn’t exactly say that,” he defends himself. “I said boo starts with a B.”
Belle waves her finger at him. “Then you said boob starts and ends with a B.”
He shrugs. “She may have me there.”
We all erupt in laughter when Faye sneaks up behind her son and pops him in the back of the head with a wooden spoon.
“Son of a…biscuit eater.” He grabs the back of his head, rubbing out the pain.
“I will wash your mouth out, son, if I ever hear anything of this like again.” Faye waves the spoon in his face.
“Oh, Momma, you love your little boy.” Kemp wraps his arms around her middle, lifting her off the ground. “And there’s no way in hell you could hold me down long enough to wash my mouth out.”
“No, but I could.” J.J. tosses his napkin at Kemp’s head.
I’m not sure if J.J. could hold down Kemp. The man is a beast, the biggest person I’ve ever met in my life. The chaos of joy and laughter continues throughout breakfast. J.J. joins in every once in a while, but I can tell he’s distracted, making me wonder if he’s not telling me the whole truth of the situation ahead of him.
I shut the dishwasher, watching Belle pick up a small pancake, slip off the stool, and dart up to her room. Jesus, it hurts every single time she does that.
“Give her time, my dear.” Faye pats my back.
I nod, gulping down the sadness. Belle has made leaps and bounds in a week and a half thriving with us. I focus on the baby steps. She returns moments later carrying a tub of Legos. How J.J. has managed to bring all of this here is beyond me. Jordan would rather have cut a limb off than spend a dime on me. J.J. doesn’t blink twice at shoveling out money on us.
I dry my hands on a dishtowel and saunter over to J.J., who is studying his computer screen. His fingers fly over the keyboard. He has his damn sexy Clark Kent glasses on as he does so. I’ve noticed he only wears them when on the computer or reading. I lace my arms around his neck, draping my hands on his chest as I nuzzle his neck.
“What are you doing?” I mindlessly ask.
“Writing up something for my lawyer.” He pauses long enough to turn his head and kiss my arm before his fingers set ablaze again.
“Oh.” I have no other words.
“Suing that fucking shit hole of an orphanage Belle was in. No fucking kid deserves to be treated like that. I’ll have every single one of their fucking jobs and put them behind bars.”
I don’t say a word. He’s shared enough of his childhood for me to know this is a hot topic for him. I continue to hold him and pepper his neck and cheek with kisses. I fight not to flinch when I see the amount of the money transfer sent to his lawyer. It was six figures within a matter of seconds.
“Can’t all of that be traced?” The question is out before I realize it.
“No, baby. It’s complicated, but Kemp is a fucking mad genius when it comes to technology. Our connection here at the cabin can’t be traced.”
“Oh.” I lean down until I can see his face. “Are you filling a quota or something?”
He tilts his head, eyeing me in confusion.
“Using the F-word. You’ve dropped it about five times.”
“No, I fucking didn’t.” He tugs on my arm and swivels at the same time, pulling me into his lap. “Now that was five fucks spoken.”
I bust out in laughter at his crazy antics. J.J. runs his hand up the inside of my shirt, splaying his palm over my abdomen.
“What do you have to do today?” I ask, running a finger along his jawline, unable to keep my hands to myself.
“You.” He winks.
“Tonight. I’ve already asked Faye to sleep with Belle so we can have some alone time before you leave.”
I regret my words the moment they’re out. J.J. winces, and I feel like hell.
“Good. Gonna fuck you real good.”
“Seven times!” I tap his chest.
“Hey, I’ve been trying to watch my language since Belle arrived. It’s like I’m an overflowing bottle of fucks that’s about ready to explode.” J.J. tilts his head with a sly smile on his face.
“Save them for tonight.” I sit up, kiss him one more time because God it never gets old, and walk into the living room.
Kemp and Faye are not in their usual spots. Faye has been spending more and more time with the good doctor, much to the dismay of Kemp. It’s sweet and adorable. Kemp is like an overprotective father. Who knew the giant of a man, who is a jokester at heart, would act this way? He’s a momma’s boy through and through.
Belle’s immersed in her bucket of Legos, sorting them by color and shape rather than building with them. J.J. follows me into the living room, settling next to me on the couch instead of his favorite chair.
I curl up, tucking my legs underneath me and opening a fresh notebook. J.J. clears his throat and raises an eyebrow in question.
“Good memories,” I simply reply.
He nods, leans in, and kisses me on the lips. My core quakes, wanting so much more. The taste of Jack lingers on his lips. It makes me smile. He still drinks, just not as openly as he used to. He’s changing for Belle.
I relax into his torso as he opens his book, The Rider of Ruby Hills by Louis L’Amour. I stare at the blank pages of my notebook, glance up to Belle, then over to J.J. I have no idea how to even start writing what I’m feeling. There are no words that could even begin to bring justice.
“J.J.”
I glance up to see Belle tapping J.J. on his kneecap. He sets his book down on his lap, giving her his full attention.
“Yes, Belle.”
“Will you read to me?” She trails her finger up and down J.J.’s jeans.
“What book?”
She points to the one in his hands. “I like cowboys.”
“You do?” He quirks up an eyebrow.
She nods her head, making her curls fly in the air.
“What do you know about cowboys?” he asks her.
“They are good guys, ride horses, shoot the bad guys, and wear cowboy hats.”
“Well, by damn you do know a lot about cowboys.”
“Wait.” She holds up a little finger and races toward the front door.
Both of us are up and on our feet. Even though the door is locked, I panic. J.J. is much calmer in his moves than me.
“What are you doing, little one?”
“Can you wear that while you read to me?” She grins, pointing at his cowboy hat.
He nods, grabs it from the hat rack, plops it on his head, and goes back to the couch. Belle doesn’t ask any more questions before climbing up into his lap, making herself comfortable. She tilts her head up to study J.J., who is staring at her.
“I like your hat,” she whispers.
He cracks a smile, bites down on his bottom lip, then replies to her. “Thank you, little lady. Now it’s fine time we got lost in this here old western.”
His voice is over exaggerated with a western twang hinting on every word. Belle wiggles in his lap, clasping her hands together.
“This might be a bit boring for you though, Belle.”
She shrugs her shoulders.
“We probably need to get Hank the Cowdog or some shit,” he mumbles then shoots me a sideways glare. “Don’t even ask how I know about those books.”
I bite my bottom lip, keeping the laughter contained. The sight of J.J. in his cowboy hat, tight black t-shirt with Belle in his lap is a sight I’ll never forget. He begins reading, and he was right; the book is boring as hell. Belle studies the book then peers back up to J.J. I’m sure she’s checking to make sure he still has his hat on.
I’ll give the man credit. He’s pretty damn good at improvising when it comes to parts he shouldn’t read out loud. Soon Belle’s eyelids grow heavy. She does her best to fight sleep as she rubs at her eyes.
I glance back down to the blank page and begin writing.
This isn’t your typical once upon a time fairytale. In fact, it’s far from it. It’s a tale of abuse, extreme torture, rape, and brutality. The only reason I’m able to tell is because of the cowboy sitting next to me. He’s my once upon a time, but that doesn’t come until way later.
I continue writing until my hand cramps, and my eyes grow heavy with sleep. J.J. has long since quit reading out loud, with a sleeping Belle in his lap. He juggles the book as he turns the page. I lay my head on his shoulder, concentrate on his breathing, and find peaceful slumber.