J.J.
“What are you doing out here?” a small voice asks.
I swivel in my chair to see Navy huddled in an oversized sweater walking my way.
I inhale on the blunt, hold it in for a few seconds, and blow it out while Johnny Cash’s lyrics surround us. I place it in an ashtray next to me and pat the top of my leg for her to sit. I left her sleeping on the couch earlier so I could take care of some business at Big Enterprise. There were too many thoughts swirling around in my head. I needed an escape and bummed a joint off Kemp. It’s our one vice we’ve never given up. Takes the motherfucking edge off every single time.
Navy’s tentative as she steps my way. I pick up the bottle of Jack, taking a quick swig before she sits down. She throws her lean legs over my lap, burrowing into my chest. I’m not sure when this cracked wide open between us. All I know is it has, and I’m sitting right smack dab in the center loving every second of it.
“Getting high.” I flash a grin at her.
“Oh.”
“Does that bother you?” My fingertips brush away the stray hair blowing in her face.
The second-story deck overlooks the entire forest and allows for quite the breeze.
“No. Wondered where you were.”
“I’d offer you a hit, but…”
This gets a chuckle out of her. My body relaxes for the first time in years without seeking out pussy. It feels fucking good, all because of the woman in my arms.
“J.J.”
“Yeah, babe?” I murmur into the top of her hair.
“Does it, uh…”
She stutters over her own words. I tighten my arms around her middle, urging her on.
“Just say it, Navy.”
She takes a gulp and then blurts out the question burning at her. “Does it bother you I’m pregnant with Jordan’s child?”
“Not at all,” I answer, right away, without thought or flinching.
“Why not?”
I twist her around to face me so she’s straddling my lap and my hands are on her waist.
“Because he’s going to be dead. Deserves to be dead. That man is nothing but evil. Thing is your light, love, and shine dulls out everything he has. I’ll say it one more time, Navy—he no longer has any power over you. Period.”
Her lower lip trembles. “I heard what you said.”
“Yay?” I throw my head back.
“Do you mean it?” she asks, a tremor in her voice.
“Never say shit I don’t mean, babe. Don’t know what it is about you. What I do know there is something. I’m stubborn as they come, and like I’ve said before, pretty fucking excellent at shutting people out. Never once have I wanted to do that with you.”
Navy raises her hand, tracing the outline of my jaw.
“My mom always told me there would be a girl that I’d beg not to go. I found her in you.”
Tears spill down her face. My fingers dig into her waist.
“Need words here, baby. Not going to lie, you’re scaring the shit out of me.”
She shakes her head, her loose curls swaying back and forth. “I’m overwhelmed.”
“Is that good or bad? Need words.” My tone grows more and more urgent.
“Good. Really good,” she gets out between sniffles. “I’ve never felt this.”
“What?” I push on.
“Love. Jordan tricked me once upon a time, but it wasn’t love. This is. I’m not saying in a forever kind of way. All I’m trying to say is you make me feel loved and have a place in the world.” She ducks her head, pressing her cheeks against the top of my shoulder.
“Would it be so bad if it was a forever type love?” My hands run up and down her spine.
She doesn’t answer me, so I continue, needing to get this massive weight off my fucking chest.
“I’d like it to be a forever type love with you and your children.”
“Jesus, I’m going to drown as a mom.”
“I won’t let you, baby.” I turn enough to kiss her lips.
“I like the taste of whiskey on your lips. It feels like home.”
I sigh on the inside, thankful she dropped the topic of being a mom. Jesus, the amount of catching up and topics we have to cover is mind-blowing. It’s as if we are playing leapfrog on a six-lane interstate dodging semi-truck after semi-truck.
“Take it away, J.J.” She sobs, her wet tears falling down the front of my chest. “Make him disappear. Take it all away.”
I remain silent.
“Make love to me. Take it away so when I close my eyes I don’t see his face and remember the beatings, the cruel torture he put me through. I don’t want to remember any of that when I meet my little girl or feel this baby kick. I want it all to disappear,” she yells in agony.
It’s the first time I’ve heard her raise her voice in certainty. She’s fighting. Battling for her future, one I hope includes me. I stand with her safe in my arms thanking God my room is off the deck. Navy clings to my torso as if I’m her lifeline. It hits me then…I am. I could’ve knocked Kemp upside the head when he asked the doctor if Navy could have sex since she was pregnant. He did it to piss me off, and it worked. It infuriated me. Now, I’m thankful he asked.
My room is lit by the full moon towering over the sturdy pines as I gently lie Navy in the center of my bed. Her tears continue to assault her cheeks. Those sweet, salty tears are my undoing. I’ll do anything to make them disappear. I reach behind my back, tugging off my shirt, then unfasten the button of my jeans, letting them pool around my feet and toe them off.
I move with ease, my body relaxed and in a state of heaven with the woman beneath me. I brush away her tears with the pads of my thumbs soaking up hurt.
“Make it go away,” Navy pleads once again. “It’s all too much, consuming me.”
I make my home between her legs, nestling her head in my palms. I skim once over her lips then twice before I dip low down to her collarbone. I don’t stop there, trailing my kisses down, down, down until I’m at the hem of her dainty panties. Using my finger, I pull them aside and then down her creamy thighs until the material is on the ground.
I freeze at a rather large deep scar, running the pad of my finger over it. “Tell me about it.”
Navy perches up on her elbows, eyeing the same scar. She winces in internal pain but tells me all about it.
“I got a bird tattoo after I lost my baby. One of Jordan’s men knew how to tattoo from his time spent in prison. Had it for nearly six months until he found it. He didn’t like it.” Each word she speaks is robotic. “He dragged me down to the kitchen and cut it out with a knife, then seared the open wound shut with a lighter.”
I don’t flinch or shy away from the scarred flesh, instead continuing to run my finger over it. “My sparrow. That’s what I think of you. My sweet, sweet sparrow trying to fly with clipped wings.”
I spend long minutes kissing away the pain. This scar represents so much beauty I can never explain to her, so I’ll show her my way. My lips seal to the indented skin, savoring the memory and pain inflicted on the beautiful woman below me. Some may see it as a nasty scar. Not me. It’s her beauty. The beauty she’s fought through to discover her freedom. And now it’s all mine. I’m taking baby steps with her and will ask about the burns that cover part of her chest one day.
I go lower until I’m at the crest of her thighs. My hands pry her legs apart.
“No!” Navy lurches up.
I look at her, asking why.
“I’ve never…”
I use my power in this instance to pry her thighs apart, dying to taste her sweet honey. She’s been used and abused, and it’s time she knows how fucking gorgeous and delicious she is. I dart my tongue out, lapping between her folds. Navy squirms once again. I don’t stop until I have a finger nestled in her and my face buried in the sweetest of sweet sugar. I move, she jerks; I find my rhythm, and she finds hers.
Navy’s tender cries of pleasure undo me. My cock punches to get out of my boxers, causing intense pain that damn near gifts me with a migraine. It’s her moans and tugs on my hair that keep me going. Her thighs clench around my head to the point I can’t hear a damn thing. Then she collapses back into the mattress.
I sit up, swiping a hand over the thick scruff on my face. It’s all her. Her delicious juices, and I treat them like that as I lick the sweet taste from my hand. This might not be the best idea, but I’m even more determined to erase away all her memories and pain, to wash away all the torment and pain she’s endured over the years, leaving behind only memories of us.
“J.J.” Her soft voice interrupts my thoughts. “More please.”
Her delicate hands push down the hem of my boxers until they’re over the globes of my ass. I push them off the rest of the way. Navy grabs my shoulders, tugging me down to her until my chest is grazing hers. I snake my fingers behind her back, unclasping her black lace bra. More scars fuel my fire to take it all away. The stories behind each one will haunt me forever.
I shake the thoughts away, kissing and licking her breasts. Navy bucks up from underneath me, begging to be filled and for me to erase the memories. I grasp the base of my cock, stroking it up and down slowly. The tip of it hits her wet entrance, and I damn near blow my load all over her sweet pussy. Navy takes over pushing her hips up until I nestle in her glorious folds.
It’s a dick move, but I can’t help myself. I glide the rest of the way until I’m balls deep. I’m unable to move. It’s Navy who begins grinding below me. I keep her face framed in my hands, watching the pleasure wash over her face. Her tears continue to fall. They are not sorrowful ones, but freeing tears, breaking her from the bonds of the hell Jordan locked her in. I can’t move watching her.
She works my dick inside of her from below me. Her fingernails dig into my back. They pierce me with pain over and over, only making me feel each sensation with rich clarity. I let her work it out giving her this. She deserves it. I’ll command and be in charge of everything else, but this is hers. I’ll let her lose every single fucking memory.
“J.J.,” she whimpers, thrusting up harder and faster. Her tiny palms move to my hair, tugging on it, pulling out each delicious sensation. I let her have this; my only hope to ease her away from her nightmares.
With each thrust, my dick grows harder, and my balls tighten. I think of everything except coating her insides with my primal desires. I knew the moment I saw her in the bar I’d own her. Shit was fucked up since then, and I didn’t have the ability to claim her until now, the moment she decided to take it. It’s been fucking Antarctica ranging to the hades of Hell with this woman. But right now, the moment has cracked, and she’s mine. I’ll let her claim my dick with her sweet pussy because Jesus, it’s all I fucking crave.
“J.J.,” she whimpers, ripping away at me.
I move inside her for the first time. My hips find solid freedom fucking away. My hand lingers down to her center between us, strumming her clit. It’s slick in juices motivating me more. I play her like a fiddle until she melts below me. My balls are so fucking tight I’m going to explode any second. I should ask her, but I don’t as I jerk my cock free of her perfection.
My palm glides up and down my coated cock soaked in her sweet honey. Navy’s legs relax, opening more for me. I take advantage of that fact while jacking my cock. Navy’s purrs of wanting more set me off hard and fast. The first bead of precum glistens the tip of my cock. She begs for more, and it’s my undoing. I coat her abdomen in cum, roaring out my pleasure and fighting for more, never wanting the sensation to stop.
Never has there been a release like this one. I’m claiming her. Owning her in the way any God-fearing man should. I vow right now to make the rest of her days the best they can be. Navy’s tears continue to fall. I’m fearful for a second before she takes it all away.
“Thank you,” she whispers, running her fingers down my chest. “It’s never been like that.”
I remain up on my knees until she tugs me down to her, our juices cementing our bodies together. I’m careful to keep most of my weight centered on my knees and elbows as she peppers my jawline with kisses. She gasps, then hits me with a blow I never saw coming.
“It might not be Jordan’s baby. He allowed his men to rape me when he felt like it. There was never any protection. I knew the day was coming he’d find out I was pregnant and would take care of it. Then you saved me.”
“Baby.” I brush the pad of my thumb over her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. You are safe and mine.”
“Why?”
The one-word questions piss me the fuck off. I definitely have more showing to do to heal this woman underneath me. It only fuels me to do so.
“Because of you.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “Because of you, Navy, it’s that simple.”
“I don’t deserve you, J.J.”
I roll off her, pulling her to my side, palming her ass. “Let’s try something different. Preston did this for me when I was struggling to fit in his world.”
“Your stepdad?” she asks, tangling her fingers in my hair.
“Yeah, baby.” I kiss her forehead this time. “He gave me a journal. I wrote down my demons, you know, the shit that would haunt me. I’d write it all out. Every single one of my insecurities. I read them out loud or to him then tossed the page in the fire. Once it burned, they were gone forever.”
I pause for a second and then decide to let it all out.
“Shit was bad before Preston. Mom and I bounced from hotel to hotel. She entertained all sorts of men who would hit me, and a few even violated me in a way that scarred me forever. It wasn’t until Preston came into my life that he healed those wounds. They are scars that will always be there, but he healed them. Showed me the man I could be. And by God, I live up to that man every single fucking day of my life because he showed me over the years I deserved to be that man.” I’m deflated once it all leaves my mouth, melting back into the mattress and curling Navy’s body closer to mine.
“Okay, I want the journal.”
A few moments tick by before her even breathing serenades the room. I have it all right now. Now only if I can keep it. I’m in for one hell of a war and ready to battle to my death. Jordan’s threats are creeping closer and closer every single day.