I pulled up to the restaurant, a bundle of nerves. It was just a date, but I felt like I was committing some sort of betrayal.
Parking and exiting the car, I straightened my sweater and walked towards the restaurant. Dan was waiting for me at the entrance.
“You look beautiful,” Dan opened the door, holding it for me to walk through, “Thanks for meeting me.”
After we stepped inside, I turned to face him. “Look, I need to be honest. This is a friend’s date – I don’t want you to get any wrong ideas or lead you on.”
His face contorted, his brows furrowing, “How about we just enjoy dinner and see where things go.”
“Uh… ok, just don’t be mad if we part ways as friends. I probably shouldn’t have come.”
I followed the hostess to our table, sitting down, I found Dan staring at me, “What?”
“You-you're intriguing.”
“Intriguing? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Carly – you’re a beautiful girl – your eyes, your fiery red hair – hell I could go on. But the most stunning part about you is that you don’t even realize how beautiful you are.”
“Thanks – but that doesn’t make me intriguing.”
“No, you’re right. What’s intriguing to me that you are pining for a man that doesn’t even see the beauty he is missing… yet, you have someone sitting right here – willing to pay attention.”
I swallowed, uncomfortable with his words. He was right – but there was a small part of me that still only wanted one man – Paul.
“You know what,” I smiled, “Let’s just enjoy dinner – who knows what the future brings.”
We sat and talked over dinner, enjoying each other’s company. Dan was a nice guy, but there just wasn’t a spark. Which was silly because he was gorgeous.
As dinner wound down, I found myself smiling and laughing. After the waitress took our dishes, and Dan paid the bill, we walked outside.
“Well, I had a great time Carly. You want to come back to my dorm and chill for a while?”
I had to appreciate his candor, but I just didn’t want to give him any false hope.
“Look, Dan – I really had a good time, but I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. Going back to your dorm… I just can’t.”
“No worries, I don’t want to rush you. I will wait Carly – I like you, and I will wait as long as I need.”
Smiling, I nodded my head, “Thanks for understanding. I had a really good time – thanks for this, I needed it.”
“Well, is it too soon to ask for another date?”
Chuckling as I answered, “Well, how about we finish this one, and you call me this week.”
Dan moved to stand in front of me, backing me against the wall of the restaurant. Before I could respond he pressed his lips to mine, his body leaning into me against the cool brick. Pressing my hand into his chest, “Dan, don’t…”
I stepped out of his hold, “Look – I told you I wasn’t looking for more than a friend right now.”
“It’s because you’re pinning for someone else – Carly, he doesn’t see you like I do… don’t you feel this between us?”
“Dan – either you take what I am willing to give you, or not. But what or who I pine after isn’t your business.” I turned to walk away, pissed that he was not listening or respecting my boundaries.
“Carly – wait… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. You’re just beautiful and I feel drawn to you. Can we start over… please?”
“Dan,” I spun my anger still pouring out of me, “let’s just call it a night. Call me later ok?”
“Yeah… ok” Dan stood watching me walk away.
I couldn’t believe he would be so forward. He was hot, no doubt about it – but he wasn’t what or who I wanted. I was fooling myself if I thought this would sway my heart. Walking towards my car I could only think of one person, Paul. It was always him my mind and soul craved – even if he didn’t acknowledge me.
Getting into my car I glanced back at the restaurant. Dan was stilled leaning against the wall, watching me. I smiled, waving as I backed out of my parking spot. His expression was pointed, almost sinister as he watched me leave. Looking in the rearview mirror as I pulled out into the street, I saw him turn and walk away.
Something about him was off – was it just because I had rejected his advances? I wasn’t sure, but I knew I needed to be cautious of giving him the wrong idea. He wanted more, and I didn’t. I would need to make sure I didn’t send the wrong message next time.
Driving my phone alerted me with a text message. Carefully unlocking the screen, I glanced at the message.
Dan: I had a good time. Sorry, I messed up the date.
Maybe I was overreacting. His text made me feel bad for my outburst. At a red light, I typed out a quick response.
Me: Thanks. Had fun. Sorry, I overreacted. Friends?
His response was instant,
Dan: Friends… Drive safe.
I felt better, but still had some uneasiness about him. A horn sounded behind me, glancing in the rearview I smiled, edging my car through the green light. Knowing I’d never be able to move on, I decided to stop playing games – I would just tell Paul what I wanted. If he rejected me, then I’d give Dan a real chance. I deserved some happiness – and Dan was willing to provide some.