Jesse watched as she came out of the bathroom. He knew alarm bells should have been going off. She’d dressed, putting on jeans and a long-sleeved blouse, though she’d left off her normal makeup. Her hair was in a conservative bun.

It looked like she’d pulled all her armor around her, ready for his inevitable harsh rejection.

Yep, all the alarms should have been going off, but she’d really only tripped his drama-llama alarm. He had to give it to her. His future wife was very dramatic.

He sat on the bed as she paced and wondered if he should look more worried. He’d never been a great actor, but he could probably pull off more concern. Maybe he should try to rage a little at whatever the hell she was about to tell him.

Wait. He’d just thought of something that might give him pause. “Did you start life as a man? It’s not a deal breaker because they did a fabulous job on that pussy. I’m serious. If that’s man-made, then bravo medicine.”

Her jaw dropped. It was good to know he could still surprise her. “This is serious, Jesse.”

“So not a dude?”

“No, asshole. I’m not a dude.”

“Carry on then.” He waited. It looked like he was going to do a lot of that since she was right back to pacing.

“I’m trying to figure out how to say this.”

“Words are good.” Although if she wanted to draw it out, he would let her. He wasn’t great at Pictionary though.

There were tears in her eyes when she looked back at him. “Will you please stop joking?”

Damn it. He hadn’t meant to make this harder on her. He got up and closed the distance between them. “I’m sorry. I’ll be serious.”

She didn’t push him away when he reached for her. “It’s bad.”

“Okay. Then you should just tell me. You should just get it out.”

“I have to set it up first.” After a second, she stepped back.

He took it as his cue to move back into “audience” mode. She seemed to need to play out this scene, and he was going to let her. Afterward, he would take control again and he would let her know that whatever deep dark secret she held wasn’t going to come between them ever again. “All right. I’m listening.”

“My husband’s name was James, Jamie. He was probably the first real friend I ever made. There were some in a couple of the foster homes, but mostly I tried to keep to myself. My mom OD’d when I was a kid. I spent most of our time together taking care of her, hiding stuff from the authorities when a teacher got suspicious. After she died, I really shut down. It wasn’t all bad, but none of the good stuff stuck with me until I met my dad and Jamie and Ten.”

He was curious about her background. No file could really tell him what it was like for her. Despite the fact that he’d had a home, he’d been as lonely as she was. “Your dad wanted to recruit you?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t as cold as it sounds. I don’t know. It’s the same with any family. I can tell you what it was like, but only Jamie, Ten, and I really understood. Dad wasn’t a bad man. He believed in his country and he thought he was doing good. I think if he hadn’t taken me and Ten off the streets, we would be dead or in jail by now. I don’t know about Jamie, but then I’m not exactly unbiased when I talk about him. Ten thinks I put him on a pedestal.”

“You were in love with him. You should have.” He knew deep down that he should be jealous of this guy. Jamie Grant still had a hold on Phoebe’s heart even after all these years. And yet he was able to summon up nothing more than sympathy for a man who’d died. He’d died serving his country. He didn’t want Phoebe to think less of James even if it would help his case. “I told you. I know you’re always going to love him. I just ask that you love me, too.”

She stopped, her eyes closing, and she took a deep breath before she opened them again. “I do love you, Jesse Murdoch. I didn’t think I could ever love anyone again, but I can’t deny it.”

“Then know that everything is going to be all right.”

Her eyes slid away from his as she continued. “After college, we went into training and then we started working under my father’s direction. I spent some time in Asia and Jamie and Ten went straight to the Middle East. Jamie and I got married. And then my dad died and Ten took over some of his responsibilities. Of all of us, Ten was the truly brilliant operative. A couple of years back, he started hearing rumors about US corporations and politicians working with hostiles in Iraq. They were after resources and business interests, of course. It wasn’t unusual, but I started to think that one of their payoffs was handing over troop movements and US Army intelligence.”

That was a kick in the gut. He knew there were always people willing to sell out soldiers for cash, but the thought of elected politicians being involved made him pause. They had influence. They could potentially not simply hand over Army intelligence, but actively influence Army strategy. “Did you find the evidence?”

“We needed to move around with impunity. There were people we needed to interview, but Iraq was a massive war zone at the time. I came up with the idea of embedding an operative in an Army unit.”

“What?”

She nodded, resuming her pacing. “You heard me. I thought people would talk more freely to a soldier than an operative. Some of the people we needed to interview were soldiers themselves.”

“We didn’t like to talk to spooks.” He had an inkling of where she was going. When had her husband died? What year? What time?

“See. I knew that. That’s exactly what I was trying to avoid by embedding our own. And it worked. The operative hadn’t served more than a few weeks when he came up with something.”

“Don’t call him the operative. I’m dumb, but I’m not stupid.” The words came out harsher than he’d intended, but now that he was here, he found himself getting emotional.

If he was right…oh, god, if he was fucking right, so much made sense. And he had a story of his own for her.

She paled and then nodded, her movements almost robotic. “Jamie. It was Jamie. I picked a unit that was close to the action and that routinely patrolled some of the areas where the informants were.”

“Phoebe, was it my unit?”

“Yes.”

Jamie. Jimmy. The kid who’d joined them three weeks before it had all gone to hell. He’d actually gone on a couple of those interviews with him. Such a dumbass. He’d believed the story that Jimmy’s stepmother was Iraqi and that was how he’d spoken such fluent Farsi. He’d been thrilled at the time because they’d lost their translator. So very stupid to believe. It made sense now. “Private James Greene. He didn’t call himself Jamie though. Jimmy.”

“It’s always good to come close to the truth,” she said in a monotone. “That’s why I used my real first name and a close last name when I came to McKay-Taggart. If you looked me up, you wouldn’t find the real Phoebe Grant along with my construct and I can remember it easily.”

“He was a good soldier.” He’d been brave during the one firefight they’d gotten into. He’d held his line and hadn’t panicked. He’d had Jesse’s back.

“He wasn’t a soldier.”

“For those few weeks, he was. He did his job and he did it well.” How the hell was he going to tell her what he needed to say? Now it all made sense. At the time, it had been the mutterings of a dying man. “He didn’t endanger us. Is that what you’re worried I’ll think?”

Her hands became fists at her sides. “I endangered you, Jesse. It was my plan and it backfired. Somehow it got out that an operative was coming in with information. Jamie was due to come home and he was bringing his intelligence with him.”

“And that’s when we were captured.” The truth hit him. He’d been captured because the Agency had been playing spy games. Phoebe had come up with the plan. She’d pulled the trigger and he and his unit had paid the price. “He was trying to turn the CIA agent.” Jesse couldn’t help but laugh. It was a bitter sound. “The idiot thought it was me.”

“Yes. Maybe it was because your names were similar. You look a little alike. Jamie always looked younger than his years, so maybe that was the problem. You probably looked more like the age of the operative than him. But yes, I believe the Caliph mistook you for Jamie and that was why he tortured you.”

And she’d taken all that guilt and pain on herself. Or was there another reason she was pulling away from him? It hurt. It was a real physical pain to even think it. “Were you mad? Were you angry that I survived and he didn’t?”

Her eyes slid away, focusing on the floor. “At first. At first I believed everything they said about you.”

“You thought I turned. You didn’t realize they thought I was Jamie.”

“I thought maybe you had sold him out.”

“I didn’t.”

“I know that now.”

And it wasn’t fair to ask her if she was happy now that he’d survived. She couldn’t be. She could never be happy that her husband had died, but he had to make her see that somehow, someway Jesse had survived for her. “You didn’t sell him out either. And you didn’t sell me out. You had a problem and you came up with a solution that made sense.”

“I came up with a solution that got everyone killed.”

“That’s what happens in war. Your husband and I both knew the risks. We both understood going in what could happen and we made the choice. We chose to serve, and that means we chose to die if the sacrifice must be made. I was ready to die for my country.”

“It wasn’t your country you were going to die for. It was some fucking businessman who wanted to make a profit.”

Finally she made some sense. “Yes. Yes, it was. So stop blaming yourself and let’s look to finding him. Our first step is to find the Caliph. He’ll lead us to whoever this man is. After we’re married, that is. And I think it would be easier to do it with my team. The Agency seems to have some problems right now.”

She stared at him for a moment. “Have you heard a word I’ve said?”

“Yes. Is that all?”

“Isn’t it enough? Jesse, I’m the reason you were tortured.”

He managed to stifle a sigh. “No. The Caliph is the reason I was tortured. You merely did your job. Am I surprised? Yes, and for reasons you’ll understand in a moment, but I told you. It doesn’t matter. I love you. I’m standing by you.”

“Why?”

“Because he gave you to me. Because I’ve searched and searched for one good thing to come out of this, for the fucking universe to give me a goddamn break, and I found it. It was always you, Phoebe. I went through hell but it led me to my family and it led me to my wife. I would do it all over again.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s my turn to talk and I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told another soul.”

She shook her head. “Jesse, I can’t.”

“You can because I have a message for you. One man who loved you, he gave a message to another man—a man who would come to love you.”

“Jamie? Jamie talked to you? I don’t know if I want to know. Did he hate me for sending him there?”

“Oh, he loved you. He was in the cell next to mine and he talked about his wife and brother. He never told me your name. Always just called you his wife or his love. He wasn’t angry at the end, Phoebe. He tried to keep my spirits up. He told me his brother would find us. I thought he was a little crazy at that point. Now I know he was talking about Ten.”

“We tried.”

“Hush, he knew. He knew you and Ten were out there. He knew you wouldn’t give up. Phoebe, the night he died he gave me a message. He was out of it. Broken, but he said one thing. God, I wish I’d thought about it for two seconds. You showed me those movies and now I understand. Those books, they were your shorthand, right?”

“What?”

“He told me to find you for him and give you one message. Be the girl who lived. He said it over and over, like a mantra. Be the girl who lived. Harry Potter was the boy who lived, right?”

“Yes. He lived because his mother loved him so much she protected him from real evil.”

“He loved you and he might not have known it at the time, but he sent me to love you, too. I know that because the last words that man said to me were take care of my girl. I thought he meant to find you, make sure you were safe, and maybe that was all he meant, but that wasn’t what happened.” He stepped up to her, knowing in his heart what Jamie Grant wanted for his wife. He knew because he loved her, too, and if he’d been the other man, he would have wanted the same thing. “He wants you to live, Phoebe, and not in some half-assed, waiting to see him again way. He wants you to live every moment with passion. He wants you to have a beautiful life and when it’s over, if there’s any way for him to see you again, he will. He will wait for you and he won’t ask you to choose between us. If there’s some magical afterlife, get ready for a ménage because we both love you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I know one thing. I know what it means to love Phoebe Grant, to want to protect and adore her. So I know what Jamie would want. Marry me, Phoebe. Take the chance again because it’s worth it. Because we’re worth it.”

Tears flowed down her cheeks and a sob was wrenched from her chest. He’d seen her cry, but not quite like this. He held her tight because this was a storm and he would never leave her alone. He held on while she wept and couldn’t help but cry a little with her. For her and Jamie. For himself.

“I love you, Phoebe. I love you.” He told her over and over again because she’d been deprived of hearing it. If he said it enough, maybe she would believe it.

Finally, she began to quiet and her arms wrapped around him. He kissed her and then slowly undressed her. He was certain she’d dressed for a quick retreat, but now those little bits of armor were no longer needed. He smoothed the clothes off her, worshipping her body with his lips, murmuring “I love you” as though he could breathe it through her flesh and into her soul.

He eased them both back, settling on the bed. The world had long since turned to night and a sweet weariness settled over him, like he’d done a good day’s work and it was time to rest.

She settled her head on his chest. “I love you, Jesse.”

He brought the covers over them. “Will you marry me? You said yes before but that was easy because you thought I would walk away. Now you know I won’t ever leave you, not if it’s in my control. But I could die. I want whatever time I have on this earth to be spent loving you, Phoebe. So I’m going to ask you again. Will you marry me?”

“Yes. And I’ll stay with you. I’ll stay here with you and we’ll finish this together.”

Together. It was everything he wanted.

He held her close and slept.

* * * *

Phoebe stepped out into the hallway, closing her robe around her. The sun wasn’t up yet, though it wouldn’t be long. Phoebe had slept for the longest time, missing dinner and whatever discussions had happened among the team. She’d woken and showered and couldn’t quite slip back into bed without trying to talk to Ten first. There was very little time before they were all supposed to be at the airfield. She’d made her decision and she prayed he understood.

“Hey.” Ten sat in the suite’s shared living area, staring down at his computer. “I was wondering if I was going to have to wake you up. My flight’s in two hours.”

“I have to talk to you about that.”

His face came up, an affectionate smile belying the weariness she saw there. “I said my flight, sis. I know you’re not going to be on it. I knew it the minute he kicked in that door. Well, and when the screams started. You could spare me those. Please.”

She felt herself blush. “Sorry.”

He gave her a wan grin. “You tell that boy he better take care of you or he’ll answer to me.”

Relief washed over her. At least she didn’t have to convince Ten. “I love him.”

Ten closed his laptop and stood up. “I’m so glad. I’m glad you found your way out.” He closed the space between them and enveloped her in one of his big, all-encompassing hugs. “I’m going to miss working with you, but I expect to be invited to all your very normal holiday celebrations. Well, normal if Taggart doesn’t show up.”

She held on to the man who’d been her brother for half her life now. When she thought about it, he’d always been her brother. They just had to find their way to each other. Family was like that sometimes. “You have to promise you’ll come and visit us often.”

He squeezed her tight. “I promise I’ll try. Hell, darlin’, I might be sleeping on your couch soon.”

Because he wasn’t certain of his job. She was scared about that too. “I think we could find you a spare bedroom.”

He kissed the top of her head and then moved away, sitting back down and crossing one leg over the other. He hadn’t changed clothes. He was still in his usual uniform. Black T-shirt, jeans, and boots. “I’m sure Murdoch would love having a roommate. I’m putting him on a clock, by the way. He’s got a year to ask you to marry him.”

“He already did.”

“Damn. That boy works fast. You say yes?”

She nodded. “I did. I know it’s quick and…”

He held out a hand. “No need to explain. Life is short, baby girl. You take every little piece of happiness you can get. I’m happy for you. Jamie would have liked Jesse.”

“He did.” She bit back tears again. Now that she’d opened the floodgates, they didn’t seem to want to stop, but they felt different now. They were somehow sweeter, almost a reminder that she’d been loved and was loved again. As if grief itself was a way to remember the sweetness of life, to magnify and celebrate it. “Apparently they became friends in jail. You do understand what happened, right?”

“Yeah. I’ve thought about it for a long time. The Caliph was looking to turn an operative. He got Jesse instead. Jamie couldn’t have known.”

“Even if he had, he couldn’t risk it. Jesse knows that, too.” Her almost husband was a remarkable man. His ability to love and find some way to move forward had taught her so much. “Jamie asked him to give me a message. Be the girl who lived. It’s silly because it’s from a book, but it means something to me, a little more than what I told Jesse. I think Jamie meant it for you, too, Tennessee.”

“I didn’t read that stuff you did.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s the same message. Love can save you if you let it. It can put up a wall that protects you, but you still have to face it. The truth is bad shit is going to happen and there’s nothing we can do about it. How we deal with it, that’s the measure of our lives. Do we roll into a ball and hide like I did? Or do we open ourselves, even knowing how much it could hurt if we lose it? I’m going to open myself. I’m going to love that man with everything I have, and if something goes wrong, at least I’ll have had that love. I am grateful for every second I had with Jamie. Every moment was precious, and now I’m going to honor him by living. I want to have babies, Ten.”

She could have sworn her brother’s eyes got misty. “I want that for you more than anything.”

“I want you to have a family, too.”

“I always knew that wasn’t the way it was going to go.”

“Why?”

“I wouldn’t even know how to be a father. I’m not built like that.”

“You are. We all are.” She backed off a little. Her brother would be a long-term project. “How about you try dating? I bet Charlotte Taggart could find someone to set you up with.”

His eyes widened. “That is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me. Don’t put that woman on me. She doesn’t give up.”

Sweet laughter bubbled up at the thought of Charlotte playing matchmaker. “I promise nothing.”

He sobered, leaning back and running a hand over his head. “I’ll smooth things over with the Agency for you. You have to know though that I don’t have the pull I used to have. We’ve opened a mighty big can of worms here. You and Murdoch need to watch your backs.”

“We’re not leaving. We have to figure this thing out or we’ll be looking behind us for the rest of our lives. I don’t imagine this guy is going to give up. There’s more at stake here than simply his identity.”

“There’s the identity of whoever he’s working with,” Ten agreed. “I’m waiting on Chelsea to get back to me with Ace’s files and the name of who recommended him. It’s going to take some patience. Apparently they wiped his files when he died. She swears nothing is ever really gone. I have to hope she and Adam can figure it out.”

“I’m worried about you going to DC.” She wasn’t sure what waited there for him.

He shrugged. “What are they going to do to me? At least they’re bringing me home if they’re burning me.”

Disavowed. Alone. She hated to think about it. The Agency had been Ten’s family for a very long time. But being burned wasn’t what scared her. “And if they’re bringing you home to do more than fire you? Ten, we don’t know what we’ve stepped into.”

“Assassination? Nah. It’s easier to discredit me. I have too many people who would give a shit if I died.” He stopped for a moment, a huff coming out of his mouth before he laughed. “Holy shit. That’s what he was doing. That old son of a bitch. I always wondered.”

“What?”

“Dad. I always wondered why. He wasn’t tasked by the Agency to find young recruits. He did it on his own. He grew up without a family. His parents died when he was in high school and he didn’t have siblings. It was precisely why he was recruited. Smart, excellent deductive reasoning skills, and no ties. It’s why we were told not to talk much about considering each other family. He didn’t want them to know we had too many ties. He took three kids who had no one and nothing and gave them the only world he understood. But he didn’t put us in there alone. He gave us each other.”

“The Agency would have written Jamie off.”

“I couldn’t because he’s my brother. And they won’t kill me because you would never let it lie.”

Because her love would protect him. “I’m not the only one. Taggart, for all his flaws, would take on the Agency for you. You’re the only one who ever thought you were alone. You had a whole family standing around you and you’re right. Dad gave us that. He’s still protecting us even after he’s gone.” She reached out and took Ten’s hand. “So don’t tell me you don’t know how to be a dad. You learned from the very best.”

“We’ll get through this, Phoebe. I’m going to make sure this goes away one way or another,” Ten promised.

There was the sound of a crack and Phoebe whipped her head around.

Ten stood. “That was a semi.” Ten reached behind his back and came up with a SIG Sauer in his hand. Her brother was never unarmed. “Stay here.”

There was another volley of gunfire and then the sound of a woman screaming. Ten opened the door to the hallway and disappeared, his lean body moving against the wall.

“What the fuck?” Hutch had his boxers on and seemed to have only stopped long enough to grab his weapon. And he’d been having a nice dream, so it seemed. Or the sound of gunfire in the middle of the night got him hard. It could be either with him.

Theo was right behind him, though he’d managed to put on a pair of sweats. “It’s coming from Kamdar’s room. We need to move. You have a piece?”

She hadn’t brought her gun out when she’d come to talk to Ten. She’d thought she was safe in this ridiculously expensive hotel, but naturally she was proven wrong. “No.”

“Take my backup.” Because Theo apparently slept with two guns. He handed her a semi and then he and Hutch started for the door. She followed, grateful that Jesse was a heavy sleeper. No matter what she said, she hated the idea of him being in danger. She wouldn’t ask him to quit. It was a part of who he was, but she would definitely use any excuse she could to let him sleep so he didn’t have a chance to get shot.

The outer room was complete chaos. There was smoke and suddenly the detector went off.

“Everyone calm down!” Ten yelled.

Erin was in the middle of it, waving her hand to disperse the smoke. “Some asshole set off a smoke bomb outside the king’s room.”

Theo’s gun came down at his side as he stared at Erin. “What were you doing in his room?”

Kamdar stood in the middle of it all, his big chest on display. He wore nothing but a towel wrapped around his lean hips. “She was protecting me from harm. This is all a ridiculous prank. Everyone get back into their beds. It’s too early to deal with protesters.”

“I heard gunfire.” Simon joined the group. He’d pulled on a pair of slacks and his dress shirt was open. Like everyone else, he was carrying a gun. It was likely the best-armed floor of the hotel.

“I heard it, too. What happened? Did someone take a shot?” Ten was down on one knee, inspecting the box someone had left outside Kamdar’s door.

“One of Kamdar’s bodyguards got a little freaked out. I think he thought it was a real bomb or something biological,” Erin replied. “And I wasn’t sleeping with Kamdar. Not that it’s any of your business, Taggart.”

“She is right. There was no sleeping involved,” Kamdar said with a solemn look on his face.

“And this was definitely biological.” Ten grimaced as he stood back up. “It’s shit in a bag someone lit on fire. What the hell is going on?”

Kamdar shook his head. “The oilmen, they do not like me. I’m too handsome, far too smart. They think they can scare me off with their shittings, but they are wrong. I will simply take their biological waste and use it to power my vehicles. That will show them. Come along, beautiful. Let’s celebrate our victory over their waste.”

Erin’s face went as red as her hair and she started in on the king. “Listen here. I don’t care how royal your ass is…”

Something was wrong. It didn’t make a lick of sense.

“I’m going to review the tapes, but this looks like some sort of practical joke.” Ten looked up at the fire detectors. They blared through the space. “Can we get these turned off? I can’t think.”

Simon moved beside her. “Where’s Jesse?”

“He’s asleep.”

Why would anyone risk a practical joke in a building where everyone was armed to the teeth?

Simon looked back at their suite of rooms. “In your room? The one that’s farthest from the lifts?”

She nodded. It was the farthest from the elevators and everything. “Why?”

But she’d already started to answer her own question. If it wasn’t a joke, then what was it? A distraction. Everyone should have been in bed. She and Jesse had the room farthest from the king’s. She doubted Jesse would even have heard the gunfire if he’d been awake, but the outer bedrooms would have heard it easily.

Phoebe turned back and started to run. Her heart pounded in her chest. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be because they would have to have gone through the hallway. She would have noticed someone dragging a body down the hallway. No one had gone past her so it was all right.

“Phoebe?” Ten was behind her.

“Jesse. This was about Jesse.” Simon kept up with them.

She just ran. She ran past the living area and back to the room where she and Jesse had become man and wife. Maybe not in the eyes of the law, but they’d bonded in their hearts. Her husband was sleeping and she was going to laugh because she was so damn paranoid.

Except she wasn’t. She flung open the door and the bed was empty. There was a huge hole cut in the window and she could see the ropes that had allowed the team to lower the scaffold down.

She watched in horror as a helicopter flew past and then moved quickly into the distance.

Jesse was gone.