Willow

 

Since the news had gotten out that Conner signed a two-fight deal with the AFL, things were crazy for him. Fans were waiting outside the gym now, expecting pictures and autographs. He wasn’t handling it well. I talked to Steele about it, wondering what we could do to help him. Conner hadn’t opened up about why he was so stressed about it, but I knew that he was worried someone would expose his past.

Dana was constantly on my case at work. Our relationship had gone from pleasant to annoying. In a matter of months, her personality had done a one-eighty. At first, I’d chalked it up to something personal. But she was showing no signs of mercy in recent months, and kept pressuring me to make Conner’s gains in the professional world public. I grew suspicious of her curiosity in my boyfriend. Her emails were becoming not only rude, but downright threatening.

She claimed in the last one that she was having trouble finding work for me outside of the sports world. I knew that was a lie, because there had been no trouble beforehand. In fact, I’d been paid more in the last four months than I had in the last year at my old job. With two advances, and a steady weekly salary, I was doing better than ever before. And more than half that salary came from magazines that had nothing to do with sports.

After Conner patiently listened to me complain about my boss, and how she’d basically threatened me with no work, he stepped up. Hugging me tight, he agreed to an interview, as long as I left his personal life out of it. I told him again and again that I would figure something out, but he insisted—claimed he didn’t like to see me stressed.

As much as I loved him for his sacrifice, I would never ask him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with. He told me he trusted me, and that he knew people were going to write about him at some point. He would rather it be me, than anyone else. I took pride in that.

I walked into the gym, ready to surprise him with lunch, when I noticed most of the guys in a huddle in the middle of the weight area. They were watching something on one of their cell phones. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I kept quiet while walking up on them.

“This is no place for a girl. I won’t tell you again,” a gruff voice said. The sound on the video wasn’t all that great.

“But I want to fight. I’ve wanted this since I was eight years old.”

The older man chuckled, like the girl in the video’s claim was absurd. “No. There’s a job waiting for you in the front office.”

“Why won’t you take me seriously? I’ve worked my ass off for this. I know I can do it.”

“You have no idea what it takes to make it in this business. I’ve done my best to shelter you from it. Girls have no business fighting. It’s a man’s sport. Always has been, always will be—as long as I own it. Now get your ass down to the front office, or don’t. Either way, you’re not fighting.”

My eyes were glued to the screen, the same as all the guys in the circle. Gage held his phone out so that everyone could see the man display one of the oldest forms of sexism. He’d straight up told the girl it was an all-boys club. I felt sorry for her. The video cut off abruptly. The quality was poor, and it seemed like someone had videoed it conspicuously.

“What a dick, man. There are girls all over who can fight.” Gage shook his head.

“I’ve known Richard for a long time. That surprises me. He’s always been fair with his contracts. I would have never pictured him treating his own daughter like that.” Steele looked disgusted.

“That was his daughter?” I asked.

The guys looked up in surprise, not having realized I was there yet. Conner hugged me. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought you lunch.” I held up the bag with his favorite deli sandwich in tow.

“Thanks, babe.”

“So, why is her dad telling her what she can and can’t do? I mean, she looked grown to me.” It was none of my business, but what a dick! It was bad enough for women to be treated less than equal by society, but by your own father? I couldn’t imagine.

“He keeps her out of the business. I’ve only seen her a couple of times. She stays out of the public eye,” Gage said.

“There’s not a woman’s league?” I’d never heard of one, but then again, I’d only been introduced to the fighting world recently.

“Not pro,” Steele replied.

“That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Life ain’t fair, baby girl.” Gage shrugged.

I could tell the guys weren’t going to jump on my feminist bandwagon. They agreed that there was sexism being displayed, but doing something about it was a different story. It seemed that was the way the world worked. Most people didn’t want to solve a problem that didn’t have anything to do with them.

“Are you nervous?” I asked Conner as we walked over to a bench in the corner. I unloaded the food from the bag.

“Nah.”

“It’s kind of a big deal. I mean, it’s in New York!” I couldn’t help my excitement. Ever since he’d told me the first fight would be in NYC, I’d been counting down the days. I wasn’t nervous about the fight—I had all the faith in the world in his abilities—but I couldn’t help but be concerned about what it meant for him personally.

“Doesn’t matter to me where I fight. I’m just ready to handle business and collect the pay check.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course, he wasn’t concerned with Canal street, but I was. I’d started saving a couple of weeks ago. I meant to shop until I dropped, whether he was game or not. Lena was traveling with me, so either way, I planned on having fun, after my man won his fight.

“Lena got approved for her days off, so she will fly out with us.”

“Cool.” He finished his sandwich. “Thanks for bringing me lunch. I better get back to work.”

“Okay. Don’t forget we have a date tonight.”

“We do?” He looked genuinely confused.

“The interview?”

“Oh.” His face fell.

“It will be painless. I promise we’ll stick to facts.” I brushed a piece of hair off his forehead.

“I trust you. I just stress about shit being out there.” He glanced around, even though the guys had long since left us alone.

“I know, babe. I promise everything will stay professional, and I’ll show you the article before I submit it.”

“All right.” He kissed me and walked me to my car.

I had known for a while how paranoid Conner would be about people being curious about him, but I couldn’t be sure that was what was bugging him now. He’d been acting strange since Vegas, and he still wasn’t back to normal. At first, I’d chalked it up to it being our first fight. I mean, there were a couple of days there, where neither one of us knew if we were going to be okay, but enough time had passed now.

After talking with him, I was beginning to think it was a little bit of everything. He was going through so many changes. Our relationship was a first for him, in a long time. He also had to adjust to life outside of prison, deal with the reason he was in prison, and now he was about to turn pro in a profession he never even knew he wanted. It would be overwhelming for anyone. And it seemed to be bothering him more than he was willing to admit. The only thing I could do was be there for him, and try to keep our personal lives as normal as possible.

Interviewing Conner was harder than I’d expected. Every time I asked a question, he answered with, “I don’t know.” As in, he didn’t want to answer anything other than his height and weight. I finally got him to relent on his initial meeting with Steele. We took the interview that route; how he trained with Steele, and worked his way up in his gym. I vaguely mentioned the local fights, but concentrated more on his future. Once he’d faxed the contract back to Richard, talking about the upcoming fights would be fair game, but not until that time.

To date, his interview had been the shortest I’d ever submitted, but I figured since I was submitting three other stories, maybe we’d still get the spot in the sports magazine I normally wrote for.

Two days later, I met with Dana at the local coffee shop for her approval on the stories. She insisted on meeting in person, stating that the article on the athletes was more important because it would go national. I wasn’t sure how well our meeting would go, considering the last email we exchanged was somewhat hostile. I’d taken it personally when she’d said I could either get on board with her vision, or get off at the next port.

“I want to see your interview with Conner Payne.” She was all business as she pulled her thick rimmed glasses out of her purse.

“Okay. I have Gage, Steele—”

“Payne’s please.” She held out her hand, ready for me to hand it over.

I planned on telling her that the other guys’ interviews were pretty damn good, if I did say so myself, but she wasn’t interested. Gage’s was hilarious. Steele’s was inspirational. Conner’s was…basic. Not by any fault in my writing abilities, but because I would do everything in my power to protect him and his feelings.

I handed the folder over and waited for her response. Her eyes focused on the black print, reading each word ferociously. She seemed hungry for his story, and I wondered why she was so interested in my boyfriend. He was obviously the most important person on my priority list, but for the readers? Or for Dana, who was an editor? I assumed the playboy, or the pro-fighter would have piqued more interest.

I pulled the other folders out of my bag and waited for her to finish.

She turned the page and frowned. “What the hell is this?” She looked up at me over the top of her glasses.

“What’s what?” I wasn’t sure where she was going.

“There’s nothing substantial here. Nothing about his personal life. Nothing about you, his girlfriend, or his past. Where is he from? Does he have any siblings?” She released the paper, but continued talking. My eyes darted to the stapled paper as it fell flat on the table. “What did he do before he became a fighter? Where did he work? When did he start training?”

I swallowed, considering my next words. Her demanding tone took me by surprise, and pissed me off at the same time. “Conner is a private person. And the reason there’s nothing about me in there is because the article isn’t about me. It’s about making it in a profession most people don’t know about. I have nothing to do with that world.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You can’t be that dense, Willow. The readers don’t give a shit about Conner striking up a friendship with a fighter who’s about to retire. They don’t care about his record. They care about where he’s been, and who he’s been with…which is you.”

“I disagree. But either way, I think if you’ll read the other interviews, you’ll see that we have all of that. These are well-rounded. There’s something here for everyone.” I wasn’t about to let her intimidate me.

“We’re at an impasse then.” She crossed her arms.

“I’m not changing it.” I crossed my arms too. It wasn’t a threat. Not in my mind, anyhow. I was simply anxious, but not willing to give in on Conner’s wishes. I just hoped it didn’t cause me to lose my job.

She leaned back in her chair, either sizing me up, or thinking about what to say next. I couldn’t tell. Everything in my body quivered, waiting. I’d been able to put away a good chunk of my last four checks because they were more than I needed to live off of, but I was nowhere near wealthy. Plus, dammit, some of that money was for New York. Conner had already covered our flights and hotel rooms, but I had my own plans, and I would never ask him to support my shopping habit.

“I’ll run it, but I’m doing it on a trial basis. If this doesn’t go over well, and the magazine isn’t happy with it, I’m afraid we’ll be cutting ties. They are one of my biggest clients, and I have others who write for them. I can’t risk losing them.”

“I understand.” I handed over the last of my paperwork and gathered my belongings.

I was livid. There was no way I was sitting there for another minute, while she threatened me with my job. We said our goodbyes, and I drove home.

The drive did me no good. I felt like I’d been deflated. The only thing I could hope for was that the magazine would sell a shit-ton of copies once they hit the stands.

Wiping my eyes, I put a smile on my face before I pulled into Conner’s driveway. He had enough on his plate, without adding my work woes to it. Plus, he was worried more than I’d ever seen him about the interview going live. The last thing I wanted to do was tell him how Dana basically called it shit. I’d just have to be patient and supportive, while I waited to see if I would be employed the following week or not.

 

***

 

The hotel was only a few minutes from the airport, which I was thankful for. I wanted to freshen up. There was something about flying that always made me feel dirty. Like being in an enclosed space for that long gave me other peoples’ cooties. I was a good friend though, and walked Lena to her room, while Conner took our luggage to ours.

Lena whistled as we entered her suite. “Fancy, yeah?”

“For sure,” I said, taking in the sleek, black leather sofa.

“I’m going to do it here,” she pointed to the bar. “And here,” she ran over and jumped on the sofa. Then she bounced up and ran to the French doors and flung them open, her eyes widening at the bedroom. “Oh my god! Look at this bed, Wil!” I shook my head and grinned at her crude sense of humor.

I plopped down beside her on the bed, and we both sprawled out, our arms spread wide, yet still not touching. Turning my head to face her, I smiled. “Conner texted Steele and made dinner plans for six o’clock. I’ll call you when I’m ready, okay?” Jumping up, I left my place beside her.

“Tell Conner I said thank you again. This was generous of him.”

“He’s kind of perfect, isn’t he?”

She smiled and winked. “For you, Wil, he’s flawless.”

 

***

 

Conner led me to the table we had reserved earlier. Steele and Lena joined us after we were seated. I’d briefly wondered whether they would date or not, but each time we were all out together, he always went home with someone else. And Lena didn’t seem to mind. She’d never once talked about him in that way. Of course, she agreed with me that he was a catch, but they always joked with each other. There was never a seriousness to them. It seemed any time we were all together, they were more like brother and sister.

“You ready, dude?” Steele asked.

“Sure.”

“How are you guys so nonchalant about your fights?” Lena grabbed a roll and pinched off a piece. “I’d be shitting my pants leading up to it.”

“We spend ten hours a day training for them,” Steele said. “It’s like second nature when we get out there.”

“I, for one, am ready for it to be over.” I sighed, squeezing Conner’s thigh under the table. It wasn’t that I didn’t have confidence in him, but watching someone try to hurt him wasn’t one of my favorite things to do.

“It’ll be over soon enough.” He brought my hand to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on my palm.

“Want to split a bottle of wine?” Lena asked peering at me over her menu.

My stomach lurched at the thought. Conner nodded, telling me he was fine with me drinking. “I’m good,” I said, and leaned into him.

“Bruce called me today. Told me that Richard would be here tomorrow,” Steele said to Conner.

“Cool,” Conner replied.

“Is he at all the fights?” I asked, still unsure of how the pro league worked.

“Pretty much. And his son is usually around. I can’t stand that little pecker-head.” Steele grimaced.

“Why?” I asked.

“For one, he’s an asshole. And two,” Steele held up two fingers, “he’s a silver-spooned pussy.”

“That’s harsh.” Lena chuckled. “Not a thing in the world wrong with a silver spoon, but what makes him such a pussy?” she asked, after she thanked the waitress for her wine.

“That kid has never fought a day in his life, yet he has opinions on how to win them.” Steele shook his head. “He’s condescending. No one likes him. Richard only tolerates him because of his wife.”

“How old is he?” I asked.

“Not sure.” He lifted a shoulder. “Twenty-five, maybe?”

“His sister, Navie, doesn’t seem like that,” I added. “Not that I know her or anything, but after I saw that horrible video, I googled her. There were a few interviews she did with her family, and I also saw she went to Yale.”

“I’ve never met her. Not formally anyway. She’s hot as hell though,” Steele said.

“Right…because that’s important.” Lena laughed.

“Hotness is always important. If you ain’t pretty, we can’t hang.” Steele winked.

Lena rolled her eyes. “I was just about to ask how you weren’t married yet, but never mind.” Steele tensed a little, and released a nervous chuckle.

I studied him, but he continued eating his dinner, leaving me to wonder if his initial reaction to Lena’s response actually meant anything.

 

***

 

Climbing into bed, I snuggled up to Conner’s back. His smell was intoxicating. It was like a flood of endorphins released in my body every time I got close enough to truly feel him. We lay in silence, knowing the world was continuing along at its normal pace on the bustling New York City streets; but in our bubble, there was peace…until I spoke my thoughts aloud.

“What was prison like?” The question was muffled, as my lips were pressed firmly into his back.

For a split second, I regretted bringing it up. The night before his big fight was probably not the best time to dig up old, painful memories.

The muscles in his back tensed, making me clench him tighter. My cheek rubbed the same spot trying to help him relax. It killed me on the inside that I needed to know. I never wanted him to remember a time in his life that wasn’t happy, but for our sake…I needed to know what he went through.

“You wouldn’t like it.” His voice was thick, but his tone was light.

I opened my mouth, scraping his skin with my teeth. Relief flowed out of my body like a wave at his joke.

He turned toward me, pulling my body into his. I snuggled close, waiting for him to continue. “It was crowded.” His brow furrowed. “Mostly, it was just routine, like the same thing every single day.”

“Is it anything like the movies portray?” I asked, after I saw he was okay discussing it. “Did you have to watch your back constantly?”

“Yeah, baby.” He hugged me close, taking comfort from my body. I thought he’d drifted off; he was so still. But after a few moments, he rubbed my hair softly, and kissed the top of my head. “I mostly stayed to myself. There’s a lot of drama there. At first, I counted the days, but eventually, I just did what I could to stay busy.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Sometimes, when I think about it, it makes me want to cry.”

“Don’t.” He lifted my chin so that I could see his eyes. “I mean it. Don’t cry for me. We’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

“Okay.” I smiled at his positivity. “Hate you.”

“I hate you too. Now go to sleep. I’ve got some ass to kick tomorrow, so we can get back home and back to normal. I hate this fucking city.”

I chuckled and kissed his lips. “Good night, hater.”