Conner

 

“You got this, man,” Steele said in my ear. “Stay focused, and as soon as you get your shot, take his ass to the ground.”

“Got it.” I put my mouthpiece in and entered the cage.

My gaze remained trained on my opponent, even though mentally, I was struggling to focus. I could see the poster boards, and hands waving from all directions. I didn’t like it. It made me uneasy with all their eyes on me. Chaos ensued in my gut, swirling around and around, until a pang of nausea hit me. I swallowed back the bile, and popped up on the balls of my feet to stretch my calves.

   Scott Miller stood in his corner, eyeing me. I gave him one nod, and that was it. It was all he was getting; it was all the crowd was getting. I came here to do a job. I took a deep breath as I took the center of the cage. It was go time.

“Get him low!” Steele called from my corner.

I will if I can.

The son-of-a-bitch was tougher than he looked. He was wiry, and hard as fuck to pin down. I tried two takedowns, and he got out of both of them. Before I could recover my footing, I took a blow to the ribs. Air gushed out of my lungs, making me squint in pain. Endorphins released, and my muscles relaxed after contracting from the blows. Nothing compared to the rush, except maybe alcohol, but that wasn’t an option anymore. Not since I had Willow.

Just like every other time I was in the cage, I smiled. Something came alive in me the moment I realized I was going to have to work harder for the win. Adrenaline shot through my veins with every punch he threw. I took three more before I began throwing my own.

I pushed him back, ready to tear into him, when they called the round. I strolled back to the corner, even though I was so amped up, I wanted to sprint.

 “Don’t let him get too many in. You’ll use all your energy defending,” Steele coached from the corner.

“Got it.” I wasn’t going to let him hit me again. The fight had already gone one round too many for my taste.

Taking my stance in the center of the cage, I looked over at Willow, which was a mistake. Her eyes were gleaming, and I knew from her appearance, she was concerned. Her arms were wrapped around her middle, and she continued to glance around the arena, taking in the overzealous crowd. I didn’t like seeing her like that, especially when there was nothing to be concerned about.

A pang of guilt set low in my belly. It had actually been a fun five minutes for me, and she’d been tense the entire time, biting her lip to the point she was probably ripping skin.

Round two began, and I threw two punches to his gut, followed by an Axe kick. His step faltered and that was all the opening I needed. Pouncing on him like he was my prey, I folded him into the position I needed him in, so that I could apply an arm bar. Three squeezes, then a tap. I released my hold, rolled to my feet, and walked back to my corner.

“Payne! Payne! Payne!” Kids were screaming. Dudes were high-fiving. Women were jumping up and down in their barely-there tops. Steele was grinning from ear to ear, and all I could think about was getting my girl and making sure she was okay.

The ref took forever to check on Miller. I walked to the center, annoyed that I had to wait for them to announce the winner. What I hadn’t factored in was the announcer making a spectacle of it. This was no longer the little cage I’d been fighting in. No, this was the pro circuit, and they were damn sure going to live it up for the paying fans.

“One down . . .” Steele slapped a hand on my shoulder when I made it to the side of the cage.

“One to go,” I finished, and immediately began searching for Willow in the crowd. Steele and the other members of my crew were trying to push me down the tunnel to the locker room, but I needed to set eyes on her first.

I sidestepped well-wishers, and grown men whooping and hollering as I passed, frantic to find her. I turned a trashcan over, dumping out the contents in the process, and stood on it, thinking if I could just get higher, I’d be able to spot her. It took everything I had in me not to get on the PA system to demand people to shut the fuck up. They continued to congratulate me over and over, not even bothering to notice I was in the middle of a mini mental breakdown.

I got separated from Steele while searching for Willow. That’s when I realized she may have already made her way to the tunnel. I started that way, ignoring the congratulatory slaps on my back.

“Willow back here?” I asked, walking through the doorway.

“Haven’t seen her. Is she supposed to be?” Steele’s eyes grew darker once he took in my worried expression. “Did she say she’d meet you here?”

“No.” I’m stupid and didn’t lay down concrete plans, not expecting the crowd to rush the cage after my win.

“Okay, man. She’s probably just waiting out the crowd. It was packed out there.”

“No, she isn’t. I know she isn’t.” Dread filled my gut. I knew something was wrong.

Sweat filled my pores. I felt sick. I hurried to pack my bag, and changed my clothes. I’d kill someone if she was injured. I swore I’d never go back on the inside, but I never had anything worth risking it for. Now, I did.

“Call her. Maybe she got overwhelmed.” He handed me his phone.

I got her voicemail. “She’s not answering.” I closed my eyes. “There’s no way in hell she would have just left.” I pushed the phone back at him, and ran my still-wrapped hands through my hair.

“Don’t—”

I stepped up to him nose to nose. “Don’t tell me not to worry.” I was holding my shit together by a thread. My chest rose and fell in what falsely conveyed as calm breaths. I wasn’t calm. I was freaking the fuck out on the inside, and aside from knowing that I had to find her, I couldn’t form a coherent thought about anything else.

That’s when Lena came walking in. She looked around, confused. “Where’s Willow? She isn’t here?”

My fears were becoming realized. “Wasn’t she with you?”

“No, we got separated, and—”

I threw my bag on the ground, grabbed my phone, and ran toward the exit.

“Conner!” Steele tried to grab my arm, but I pulled away from him and blew past Lena. “I’ll stay here and look, man. We’ll find her!” I continued further away from him, and he kept calling for me. “Let’s make a plan. Conner!”

I didn’t respond, my mind already searching out possibilities of where she could be. I went out behind the building and searched every crevice. Then I walked through four different alleyways, trying to think of the darkest spots imaginable. I stepped over two homeless people and a small dog, searching behind a dumpster. For a split second, my mind went back to Vegas, when I’d taken the whiskey from the poor old man on the street. I bent over, my head all but dangling, feeling like I would puke. I spit and stood to my full height.

Glancing around, I felt out of control. I was in an alley, looking for my girlfriend—who I wasn’t sure had just taken an alternate route to the tunnel and was waiting on me in the locker room.

My fears from my past were taking over. I’d overreacted, scared out of my mind that maybe Mikey had shown up after hearing about my fight, and done something horrific to her because of me. His popping up in my life after two years had me convinced he had something up his sleeve. Steele probably thought I was nuts. I should have told him who Mikey was the night we had our run in. If, for no other reason, he could have helped me keep an eye on him.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. “Yeah?” I answered Steele’s call, praying he had Willow with him.

“She’s okay.”

“Where is she?” Heat scorched my neck, and fire ignited in my chest; the flames were reaching for the sky.

“She’s just shaken up—”

“Where the fuck is she, Steele?”

I couldn’t make out the muffled voices in the background. “We’re in the locker room.”

I hung up before he could give me any more information. I ran five blocks without stopping. I hadn’t prayed—really prayed—in years, yet in that moment, before I opened the large metal door, I prayed that Willow had no physical injuries. But I knew something was wrong. Steele had confirmed as much. I just didn’t know if I was strong enough to deal with it all if someone had touched her.

The tension in the room was thick. Steele sat facing Willow, who was seated in the corner chair, her legs tucked underneath her, making her seem like a small child. She looked fragile and tired. Lena was seated next to Steele, clearly shaken up.

Willow glanced up when I knelt next to her.

I took her in my arms, thankful she was with me. “What happened?”