CHAPTER EIGHT
It had been three days since Clint had gotten back into Pearl Harbor and taken Olivia on the tour of the USS Arizona. It was probably one of the more vulnerable moments of Clint's life and at the time he wasn't so sure if he had made the right choice in opening up to her like that. But the way that she had hugged and consoled him afterwards alleviated that concern.
In fact following that date, Clint was blindsided by a sensation that he had never felt before and as such had no idea how to classify it. He went to bed that night feeling as light as a feather and woke up the next morning with the eerie sensation that nothing in the world could hurt him. He knew that day Olivia would be busy, so he spent it in his barracks, with the other SEAL's and although some of them made fun of him when he told them about the date, he didn't care. He actually welcomed it as he relished the sensation of their words bouncing off him. He didn't care what they thought. He only cared what Olivia felt.
In short, Clint was in love. He just didn't know it.
What was odd though was that Olivia didn't seek to contact him that night. He assumed that her investigation was taking longer than she had predicted and was thus OK with it. He went to bed with that same light feeling. The next day however she didn't call him and when he tried to call her she didn't answer. He told himself that it was fine, and for a while he truly believed it. But then night hit and he still hadn't heard from her.
But even so, he convinced himself that it was all fine and he was just being obsessive. Although he told himself this, when he went to bed that night it wasn't with the same feeling of self-confidence and belief he had experienced the previous two nights.
Waking up, Clint felt his heart sink when he checked his phone to find that there were no messages from Olivia. And if that hurt, what followed was essentially a kick to the face as he tried to call her only for his call to go straight to voicemail.
He didn't know what was going on. If he should be worried or concerned for Olivia? Perhaps she was in trouble? Perhaps... perhaps it was his story on the Arizona that turned her off? This thought washed over Clint like a tidal wave and suddenly, a moment that had seemed to pure, somehow felt dirty. He had opened himself up, too much by the sounds of it. He had opened up and scared Olivia off...
Clint just couldn't believe that were true. In fact he refused to. The real problem was that he had too much time to think. Since he was brought up on charges he had been put on temporary leave and thus hadn't worked in days. He thus decided that the best thing for him to do was to get to work. Something, anything really to keep him occupied.
He was on his way to his barracks when he got the bad news.
"Clint! Clint!" The voice called out to him from across the dock. It belonged to Hartman, another SEAL on Clint's team. "Wait up!"
"Hartman," Clint offered as he came to a standstill. "What's up? You look nervous." Indeed, Hartman didn't look quite right and nervous may have been an understatement.
"I'm sorry man," Hartman began as he pulled up. "I drew the short straw here."
"What are you talking about?" Clint asked, genuinely having no idea what the heck he was going on about.
"Word just came down. You've been reprimanded for that thing with the Coast Guard the other day. You're on leave until further notice."
"What?!"
"Yeah, like I said I pulled the short straw here having to tell you. I was also told to tell you that you're on thin ice and one more foot out of line could see you disbarred entirely. Sorry man," he offered, patting Clint on the shoulder. "We all think it's bullshit too. I would have done the same thing were I..."
But Clint had stopped listening. The docks seemed to spin around him as the words sunk in. There was an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach too. One he didn't recognize. One he had never had the displeasure of feeling before. It didn't hurt, at least not physically. But it made him feel ill.
As Hartman droned on about how unfair the decision was, Clint continued to stare off into the distance, out across the bay. The funny thing was that he didn't even care about the fact that he had been put on leave. As much as that stung he knew that it would eventually end.
What really hurt, what made his head spin and what was responsible for that feeling in his stomach, was the fact that it was Olivia who was responsible for it all. She had a choice. She could have looked past his actions. She knew what being a SEAL meant to him. He had told her as much. But even still she chose to prosecute him.
He thought that... he thought that he loved her and that perhaps she felt the same way about him too. Now it seemed that wasn't the case. Not even a little bit.
--
Clint waited outside Olivia's apartment for exactly two hours and fifteen minutes before she came back. He had no idea where she had been. And really he didn’t care. She may have been at work. She may have been training. She may have even been with another guy... although that possibility he preferred not to think on. All he cared about right then was why. He just wanted to know why.
"Clint?" Olivia said when she spotted him, waiting outside her door. She was staying in a small hotel lodging just off the Naval Base. Clint was slumped against the wall in the hallway, leaning against her door. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was shaky and uncertain. You would think that two hadn't been sleeping together for the past week.
Spotting her, Clint slowly climbed to his feet, using the wall to balance himself. He wasn't drunk, or even tired. He was just weak, as if his whole body had given up. "Hey," he said, trying to act as normal as possible. "I've missed you."
"Oh right... yeah I've been busy,' she rushed through the words as she made her way to her door. And as she pulled out the keys, she fumbled with them, trying to unlock the door. "What have.. What have you been up to?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all," he said. It was as if they were two strangers, talking for the first time. Clint could feel the tension between them. He knew what she had done and she knew that he knew.
"Did you want to --"
"Actually that's not entirely true," Clint cut in. As Olivia went to go inside the room, Clint stepped in front of her, blocking her off. "I was down on the docks earlier. I was going to run some drills with my team."
"Oh?" Olivia offered ducking under Clint's arm as she stepped inside. Clint didn't follow. Instead he leant in the doorway, watching Olivia nervously wander through her hotel room. She walked from the kitchen to the bed and back to the kitchen, playing with her hands the whole time as if trying to think of something to do with them.
"Yeah, it was funny though. I got down there and I was told... they told me I was on leave. Isn't that odd?" He was still in the doorway, watching her.
"Haven't you been on leave all week?" She asked, still not looking at him.
"Well that's what I thought. But then they confirmed that this was official. Turns out I've been brought up on charges. I'm on leave now until further notice. Until they know what to officially charge me with."
"That's... that odd --"
"How could you!" Clint suddenly exploded, storming into the room as he made for Olivia. "How could you do that to me?" He grabbed her by both arms as he reached her, forcing her to face him.
"I had no choice!" She wailed, tears beginning to brim beneath her eyes. "Randall he... he..."
"What? He ordered you to charge me? He forced you to disbar me?" His voice was shaking as he tried to control himself. He wanted to yell and scream in her face. But he couldn't. Being this close to her hurt to much. "I trusted you..."
"He promised to help me," Olivia admitted, full fledged tears streaming down her face now. "He promised to help me become a SEAL."
Clint let her go as if she had suddenly caught fire. The look he offered her was one of disgust, because indeed that was how he felt. "So what? You turned on me so you could become a SEAL? That means more to you than us? Than what we... than what we had?"
"No of course not! You're not in that much trouble. I made sure to keep the charges light. All you have to do is behave and you'll be fine. It's – it’s a slap on the wrists," she stuttered through the words. To Clint it sounded like an excuse. It was poison to his ears.
"Just a slap on the wrists?"
"Yes!" She exclaimed.
"You don't get it. It had nothing to do with the punishment. It's... never mind." Clint was done. He didn't want to stand there and argue semantics with Olivia. He didn’t want to explain the betrayal and how much he hurt. So he didn't.
As Olivia fell to the floor, weeping openly, Clint turned and left. He could hear her crying as he stormed down the hallway and a part of him wanted to turn back and console her. But another part of him didn’t. That part never wanted to see her again.