Chapter 19
Lucas dropped her off in front of her building Sunday evening before going home. When he kissed her goodbye, it was with another “I love you” on her lips.
Sarah kissed the hand snug between her palms. His intimidating knuckles were nothing beneath her kisses and his class ring from Princeton cool against her skin. I can’t say those words back to you yet. He claimed to understand.
“See you tomorrow, Angel.” Lucas held open his car door, one leg in and the other keeping him on the sidewalk. “I’ve already texted Damon and told him I want to meet before the day starts.”
Shivers ripped through Sarah. I can only imagine how that’s going to go. Her boss knowing all about them… how much of a talking to would Lucas get? How awkward would it be when Sarah walked into the office a few minutes later?
The apartment was quiet when she entered. Everything was off, save for a faint light coming from her brother’s bedroom. Classical music played behind the door as well. It wasn’t unlike Nigel to spend his lonely evenings locked up in his bedroom surfing the web and listening to Bach. He was so much their father like that.
Sarah knocked on his door and let him know that she was home before going to her own room and settling in for the evening. Unpacking. Showering. Laying out her clothes for the next day and making any last minute adjustments to Mr. and Mrs. Monroe’s schedules. She double-checked that she didn’t need to bring a lunch for Monday and sat down on the end of her bed. It was already eight by then.
The moment she slowed down, she thought of Lucas again. He didn’t even have to text her a series of hearts and a “Miss you already,” for her to think about him.
She got up and went down the hallway to her brother’s room.
Nigel didn’t respond to her knocking. Probably because he had his earbuds in while he watched a documentary about the African Savannah. I’m going to find out he’s live-chatting with Dad in about five seconds. Perhaps not that night.
“Hey,” he said without turning around. Either he saw her in his monitor or that twin ESP was on high alert. “What’s up?”
“No Carly tonight?”
“She had a thing with her family today. Just been me. We should get some fish or something.”
Chuckling, Sarah pulled over another desk chair and sat next to her brother. He paused his video and turned off the music in the background. “Not gonna spring for the cat, huh?” Nigel loved cats more than their mother loved her Yorkie. Alas, they never got around to adopting one since graduating high school. This apartment allowed up to two pets. Sarah figured it was only a matter of time before Nigel started dropping hints about a feline friend.
“How was your trip?”
“Good.” Sarah leaned against the corner of her brother’s desk. “He told me he loves me.”
Nigel’s expression did not change, but his posture lost its luster for the briefest second. “Which question do I ask first?”
“The one bugging you the most.”
Nigel didn’t waste another breath. “Do you believe him?”
“I… I think so.” Would it be cross of her to steal some of the tea still in his mug? Too late. Damnit. It’s cold. Drink your fuckin’ tea, Nigel. “That’s part of the problem, though, isn’t it? I don’t know what’s real and what are lies anymore. I haven’t been in a real relationship in so long, and never with a man like him…”
“Plus it’s pretty fast. You’ve only been seeing each other for how many weeks?”
“I know.” Sighing, Sarah looked out her brother’s window. Lights twinkled in the building across the street. “He asked me if I loved him back. I told him that I wanted to, but I didn’t know if I was there yet.”
“Ah, Sarah…”
“Maybe I’d like to be in a relationship, you know? One where I know they care about me and I’m not afraid they’re going to cast me aside as soon as it’s most convenient.”
“I understand.”
“What do you think?” Sarah hoped she wouldn’t regret asking this. “You’ve met him a few times now. Do you think Luke’s a genuine man?”
“Do you want to know what I really think?”
She winced. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t have asked otherwise. I know you’ll give it to me straight, Nigel.”
They shared a look of mutual understanding. If only that was all it took now. If it were something more minor, like what she should do about her job, going back to school, whatever… one look from her brother would be all it took. Her future in the hands of another man? After what she had been through in the past couple of years?
“I think it’s hard to read a man like that.” Nigel closed his laptop and folded his arms on top of it. “You know what they’re like, Sarah. They’re on another level. They’re either so spoiled that their terrible attitudes go by unchecked, or they’ve learned to be so charming and suave that they’ve knocked you on your ass before you can ask for a kiss.”
He didn’t say like what happened last time, but Sarah knew that’s what he intended. Russell Monroe hadn’t been charming, per se, but he was certainly suave when it came to getting the help into bed. He didn’t make me think he was in love with me, but he made me think I was attractive. Lucas, though? He made her feel beautiful.
“That’s my concern,” she finally said. “I want to trust my instincts, but my instincts are fucked.”
“He seems to genuinely like you, for what’s it worth. I can’t think of many other men like that who would sit down to have pizza with us.”
“What do you really think?”
“I think you should be careful, Sarah. But that doesn’t mean you should push him away if you think it’s genuine.”
“Yeah. It’s me. It’s my problem. It’s my experiences making me feel like shit.”
“Hey.” Nigel put a firm hand on her knee. “Don’t tear yourself down like that. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I should’ve…” Sarah choked back a sudden sob. “I should’ve known better than to have gotten involved with him. I should’ve known what a sociopath he was…”
“Who are you talking about?”
Funny that Nigel thought he had to ask. Didn’t he know?
***
“Let me buy you lunch today,” a text from Lucas said early Monday morning. “I have it on good authority that Damon’s meeting was canceled.” How did he know? Damnit, did that mean he was already chatting with Sarah’s boss? That gave her butterflies in her stomach.
“Have you talked to him yet?”
“Waiting until we get to his office so we have some privacy. I talked him into coming in early. Bought him a pretzel. Did you know that he loves those hot pretzels they sell down on the corner?”
“Yes. Who do you think buys them for him once a week?” Mr. Monroe didn’t have to ask anymore. Sarah always had one waiting for him on his desk every Wednesday afternoon. Easy enough to pick up during her break.
“Let me know when you’re off for lunch. We can talk about how it went with your boss. Anyway, I have to go now. Something’s up.”
Sarah went about getting ready for work. It was the only way to take her mind off the inevitable.
Monday mornings weren’t easy at Monroe Industries. She was already making calls on her boss’s behalf while waiting for lights to change. It was a brisk ten-minute walk to work from where she lived. With the surge of early morning commuters and buses roaring by every five minutes, Sarah had developed listening skills that rivaled anyone else’s.
It also meant she didn’t pay much attention to what went on around her. Oh, she paid enough attention to know when to cross the street and when not to bump into someone, but she couldn’t tell anyone what the billboards now advertised or who went out in public wearing the latest Gucci looks. That was for the tabloids to keep track of – and she read the social papers religiously, not because she enjoyed them, but because her boss needed to know when he was mentioned and his PR agent hadn’t gotten around to telling him yet.
She didn’t have time to check out the latest headlines, though. By the time she reached the office, she was finishing up a conversation with a hotel in Macau.
“…Thank you, yes, that should be satisfactory. I’ll let you know.” She hung up before entering the elevator that would inevitably drop her connection. Sarah rode up with a man she didn’t recognize. Probably an employee of one of the advertising agencies that rented office space in Monroe Tower.
He kept staring at her.
Sarah checked her appearance in the mirror. Had she smeared her makeup? Had the morning wind disheveled her hair? Had she spilled cream cheese on her lapel?
When she glanced at the man, he looked away. The elevator doors opened. He stepped out, and Sarah was alone.
She reached the top floor with an ill feeling in her stomach.
The office was quiet. While it didn’t bother Sarah most mornings, today she noted how many people were in the office… and suddenly quiet the moment she walked in.
What did you do, Luke? Had word traveled that quickly already? Shit, why would they care? Why would they give a fuck to the point of…
“Sarah?” Alisha stood up from their desks. “You’re… here?”
“Yes.” Sarah put her bag down in her chair and tossed her phone down. “Contrary to the vibe in this place, I haven’t quit. What’s going on?”
“You… you are…”
She swallowed, refusing to show any confusion. “I’m here. Can we get to work?”
“Sure.”
Sarah attempted to shake off the whole office’s gawking. Bask in it, assholes. I’m dating Lucas Blackbourne. Might as well face the boss.
Alisha made the sign of the cross when Sarah walked into Mr. Monroe’s office to go over that day’s schedule.
“Oh, my favorite gentlemen…”
Sarah stopped halfway across the room. Mr. and Mrs. Monroe looked up from the desktop computer on Mr. Monroe’s desk. Alice gasped, her cheeks so red that she looked like she had been caught masturbating by her mother. Damon’s reaction to Sarah’s presence wasn’t much better.
“Shut it off!” Alice reached across her husband’s keyboard, but her pregnant belly got in her way. By the time her hand was on the power button, Sarah had lunged forward to find out what everyone was in a tizzy over.
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you guys! Angel’s been waiting…”
Sarah stopped before her boss’s desk, bile shooting up her throat.
She knew what that was…
How long had it been? Five months? Four? She couldn’t even say it was the last time she had a threesome or more. Well, since Angel did.
Unfortunately for Sarah (and Angel,) she had no idea that the gangbang she participated in one night in a New York hotel room was filmed. Let alone leaked.
And they’re watching it…
“Ms. Clayborn.” Damon finally turned his monitor off, but not before Sarah saw her naked body being enjoyed by at least three men, none of whom she remembered. A fourth filmed the encounter on his phone. “I… I mean we…”
“We should not have watched that,” Alice supplemented.
The door flung open. Lucas stormed in, his face as pale as a ghost’s the moment he saw Sarah standing there.
“Sarah!”
She had no idea if he had told Damon about their relationship yet. The cat was out of the bag anyway when she ran right into her boyfriend’s arms and screamed into his vest.