Chapter 16

Lawson

I storm into Clay’s office without knocking, catching him completely off-guard.

“You have to help me. This has gone on too long. I’m in too deep,” I semi-shout, pacing in a circle and yanking at my hair. “I need out. I need out NOW!”

His eyes are trained on me, growing wider by the second. He opens his mouth, but I cut him off briskly.

“Tell me my bonuses, pension, and stock options. I need to get my money and go. I can’t be tied to Morris C&D when the bid goes live.”

“Lawson—”

“Don’t try to talk me out of this. I need to know how much money I have to start over, build a new life with Greer. She can’t ever find out.”

He stands, circling his desk, and gives me a hard look. “Lawson—”

“Don’t Lawson me! Get back to your computer, do your fancy fucking spreadsheet, and tell me how much money I have!”

I’m totally crazy. After last night, I can’t take any chance of losing her. Career be damned. The executive title can kiss my ass. Nothing means more than her. Without reservation, I launch into an explanation.

“I not only misjudged her; I severely underestimated the power she has over me. It was a mistake to go after her. All of it was a huge mistake, but now, I can’t tell her who I am or how we met, because she’ll never believe how much I love her. You have to help me get out from under this mess.”

He slices his eyes to the side, his face going to stone. I still, pivoting to find my dad standing in the entry to Clay’s small conference room.

My heartbeat races in overdrive at the expression on Dad’s face.

“Joshua, what is going on?”

I wait for the lies to form in my head, but the deception is eating me up inside. My knees go weak, and I drop into the nearest chair, scrubbing my hands over my face.

“I’ve fucked up.”

Similar to the purge in my apartment that day with Clay, I unload everything, covering my outrage over her going away last weekend and leading up to what I learned last night about the industry dinner next week. When I’m done, both are staring at me with a mix of disbelief and rage. Dad’s jaw is set hard, his arms crossed over his chest. Clay is now sitting behind his desk in a similar stance.

“Why?” Dad bites out.

“I thought it would be a sure-fire way to learn about Kevin—”

“I got all that during your explanation. You were a career climbing asshole! But tell me why you didn’t tell her the truth when you had the chance? Or, better yet, why you think cutting all ties with the family business is going to change anything. You’re still a liar, a cheat, and basically put her into a path of destruction when this all comes out!”

“Dad…” Clay starts, but clamps his mouth shut when Dad shoots him a death glare.

“No! We didn’t raise you boys this way. Your mother and I vowed that, no matter what the Morris money brought into our life, you’d never be a snot-nosed, social climbing dipshit. You’ve always had your share of easy lays. Now, you’re telling me you’ve used a poor, sweet woman to further your career?”

“No!” I lose it, my adrenaline spiking and aggression taking over. I jump up and resist the urge to lunge at him. “She’s not easy! She’s my everything!”

The room goes quiet, and Dad jerks back, his features softening at my confession. Understanding sinks in, and he drops his arms, the hostility from earlier easing.

“Nothing is as important as her. Not the job, the prestigious title, the promotion—none of it,” I admit.

The silence in the room continues as Dad works his lips between his teeth, staring at me intently.

“Son, I’m afraid giving all of that up and distancing yourself isn’t the answer. Eventually, you will have to tell her your relationship is built on a foundation of untruths. A major part of being in love is trust. You take that away and there’s nothing but a shell of emotions.”

His words hang in the air, and I know he’s right. “What do you suggest I do?”

“You know the answer without me saying it.”

“How can I tell her?” Greer’s face flashes in my head, her sparkling eyes staring at me with so much kindness and her bright smile that can light up the darkest room.

“I’ve been telling you for weeks to unload this,” Clay reminds me. “But, now, I think you have a prime opportunity. You can easily tell her there are things you’ve been holding back, too.”

“Holding back is an understatement. That’s why I need my name off the project.”

“What’s that going to gain, Lawson? Taking your name off the design and infrastructure build isn’t going to change the fact that you’ve been deceiving her since day one.”

“I want to be able to come clean and tell her it means nothing. Prove to her my intentions were misguided and arrogant, but that she is all that matters.”

“Sounds noble, but I’m afraid removing your name isn’t possible. Rob and Clive turned in the bid yesterday, including the model.”

“What?” The blood drains from my face.

Dad doesn’t get a chance to answer when the door flies open again and my uncle and grandfather come bursting in with enormous smiles on their faces.

“Doesn’t anyone respect the sanctity of a closed door?” Clay mumbles, obviously irritated with the second interruption of the morning.

“I knew I’d find you all in here!” Rob comes directly to me, oblivious to my mood. “You did it, boy! You pulled this shit off! Even if we don’t win this bid, which I believe in my gut we will, you’ve proven yourself.” He yanks me into a hug and keeps going. “Annie would be so proud of you and Clay and the professional men you’ve become.”

I freeze, my stomach instantly churning at the mention of my mom. She most definitely would not be proud if she knew what I’ve done. The air in the room fills with tension, and I step back from my uncle, looking at my dad.

His eyes are wounded and vacant, similar to every time someone says my mom’s name. This time, though, I know there’s disappointment brewing behind his gaze.

“What’s going on in here?” Grandpa Clive peers at all of us with suspicion. “Did we interrupt something?”

I clear my throat, bringing the attention to me. “Dad said the bid and the model has been turned in.”

“Yesterday morning,” Rob confirms.

“I thought you’d speak to me before it went in.”

“Didn’t have to. Your sketches, drawings, and designs were exactly on track. The innovation in your special touches were flawless. It was a tactical move to try to get the first bid in front of Kevin Palmer. Rumor is he’s reviewing them personally. Shows a lot about a company that doesn’t wait until the due date. If we’re lucky, we’re ahead of our competitors.”

“How did you brand the final presentation?”

“Per RFP instructions, the only name throughout the document is the Morris C&D moniker. However, all contributors are listed in Appendix H. You have been listed as lead architect.”

The only thing I can do is nod with wariness. I’ve known since day one the rules of submitting our plans with anonymity and the final piece having all contributors. That’s why I wanted my name off, to give all credit to Rob. Get away from this and cut ties. Damn Rob and his eagerness. A few more hours and I could have walked away.

“You tired, Lawson? You look drained,” Grandpa asks, his features filled with concern.

“Of course he’s tired! He’s spent months working vigorously. It hasn’t gone unnoticed all the time you’ve sunk into this. I know you spent the entirety of last weekend here, and all that dedication shows in your final product,” Rob answers for me.

“Doing my job,” I respond without emotion. Usually, the satisfaction and praise would boost my over-inflated confidence to new levels. The arrogant bastard from a few months ago would rear to the surface with a cocky comeback, demanding an apology. Today, I can’t find the energy to even muster a smile.

“I think I have just the thing to lift your spirits,” Rob announces a little cheerily.

When I peer at him, his face is lit with excitement. “What’s that?”

“I’d assume, because you’ve been occupied within the confounds of this building plus the work you put in from home, that your social life has taken a hit. As of today, I’m lifting the fraternization ban. Go find Kyra. See if she’ll help relieve some of your stress.”

I swallow the bile rising up my throat at the same time my dad grumbles. Clay lets out a low whistle. I haven’t thought of Kyra in forever; since the day in the break room when she cornered me, she’s been non-existent.

Greer’s face fills my mind, and I know what I have to do. I straighten my shoulders and paste a fake grin on my face. “Actually, I have no interest in Kyra, at all. But I am going to take a few days to myself, starting now.”

“Well deserved.” Rob shakes his head in approval as if I was actually asking permission.

I clap my dad on the shoulder and look at Clay with a message that says ‘we’ll talk later’. He nods and I go to the door, looking back at the men of my family and seeing a huge contrast in expressions.

Rob and grandpa beam with pride, while Dad and Clay watch me worriedly. They know who I’m thinking of right now, and Dad’s eyes are pleading with me to come clean to Greer, to stop the lies.

I lift my hand in a half-hearted wave and leave them standing without another word. My mission is clear.

I’m going to get Greer…

•∞•∞•

“Incredible,” Greer whispers in awe, her eyes darting rapidly around.

Pride like I’ve never experienced surges through my system at her appraisal. “I built it,” I tell her.

She stops and whips her head to mine, her eyes bulging. “You built this?”

“Me, my dad, Clay, and a small crew. It was my dad’s idea. Mom loved this quaint little town, and he wanted her to have a piece of it. So, one summer, we busted our asses and had it completed in time for fall. She was in on the plans, but we didn’t allow her to see it until completion. I still remember the first time she walked through the door. Her expression was exactly like yours right now.”

“Oh, Lawson, it’s so beautiful.” Her voice cracks, and conflicting emotions wash over her face. It’s easy to read that she’s thinking about the memories this house holds for my family, similar to how her Hamptons home does the same for her.

I’m at her side in an instant, drawing her into my arms and brushing my lips along her hairline. “Don’t get sad. I wanted to share this with you.”

“I’m so glad you did. When you mentioned a weekend getaway at your cabin in New Haven, I had no idea what to expect.”

“Expect to be spoiled, lavished, and devoured.” I circle her hips and urge her to hop up. She complies, wrapping her arms and legs around my waist and shoulders, and dropping her mouth to mine for a brief kiss.

“Tell me about the house.” The curiosity in her voice hits me in the gut, another reminder of how perfect this woman is for me.

Truth is, I could spend hours talking about this house. To this day, it is my favorite design and build. Being here brings me back to reality, before I was so hungry for success, money, and notoriety.

The arrogance.

The egotism.

The conceit.

All of it consumed me to the point of such superficial vanity and led me down a path of self-destruction.

I’m not that man anymore. This woman in my arms changed everything.

“Look around, baby. Completely open concept. Kitchen, living area, and dining room all together. That stone fireplace was a bitch, but it was the centerpiece of the whole place.” I take a few steps into the middle of the room.

She twists her head, taking it all in, and her smile grows.

“Three bedrooms and bathrooms down that hall, with the master across the house. There’s a loft upstairs that holds more sleeping space and a separate bathroom.”

“That’s a lot of space.”

“Coming from the woman who has a mansion on the ocean?”

Her cheeks flame, and she bites her bottom lip.

“Mom liked to have family around,” I explain, squeezing her ass.

“I understand why,” she says softly.

“Tomorrow, in the light of day, you’ll understand. It’s too dark to see, but outside that wall of windows is a backdrop that will take your breath away.”

She looks over her shoulder at the windows and lets out a sigh. “I can’t wait.”

“I called the couple that keeps an eye on the house. They delivered some supplies for our weekend. Are you hungry?”

She brings her face back to mine and nods. “Starved.” She draws out the word, and it hits me straight in the dick, which thickens instantly.

I peer over her shoulder at the large sectional sofa and know that, in less than sixty seconds, I could have us naked and be buried inside her. It takes all the control I have to walk us to the kitchen instead, place her on the counter top, and unlatch myself. Her face falls in disappointment and confusion sets in.

“Baby, let me feed you. I haven’t eaten since this morning, and I’m going to need sustenance for what I have planned.” I glide my nose along hers and nibble at her top lip. “And stamina, loads of stamina.”

Her breath hitches against my mouth, and I smile, stepping away to the fridge. The contents inside are exactly as I requested, enough food to get us through the weekend, Greer’s favorite Chardonnay, and the items needed for dessert.

“Do you need some help?” she offers.

“No, I’ve got this.” I take the prepared dinner items out and read the instructions scribbled on the top.

“What is that?”

“The couple I mentioned also owns a restaurant in town. They’ve prepared all our meals. All we have to do it heat them up.”

“Now, who’s the one spoiled?”

“I’ve got much more important things to spend my time on. I think by Sunday, you’ll agree.”

Her lips tip into a grin as her eyes start to shine. “Do you mind if I show myself around while you slave over dinner?”

“Help yourself.”

She hops off the island, and I open a bottle of wine, handing her a glass. “While you’re exploring, you can start shedding clothes. I believe I get a weekend of nakedness and servitude.” I lean down to kiss her.

“I believe you do, but you’d better get me a fire started because it’s still chilly.”

“I plan to keep you heated; scorching is my plan.” I cock an eyebrow, watching the heat in her eyes.

She kisses me again, this time tracing my lips with her tongue, teasing me with the little taste. Too soon, she pulls back and takes off down the hall to the master suite.

As the oven preheats, I go into the living room and start the process of building her a fire. It’s been a while since I’ve done this, and thoughts of years past flood my mind.

Having Greer here gives me a sense of security. With each mile out of the city, I was able to leave behind the trail of deceit and focus only on us. This house is sacred, full of wonderful times and memories. I plan to make new ones this weekend.

First thing Monday, I’m going to follow through with what I started this morning. Clay knows where we are, and he assured me he’ll look into what stake I have in the company and the financial payout I could possibly get. He also tried to talk me out of it, encouraging me to come clean with Greer.

I listened to him, knowing he was right as I put my plan in motion. Greer was easily swayed to spend an impromptu weekend away. She was even more excited when she found out we were coming to my family home in Connecticut. The minute we drove up, I knew I’d made the right choice to bring her. The look on her face mixed with Clay’s words replaying in my mind, and I decided to stop holding back.

“Lawson, can you come back here?” Greer calls from the bedroom.

I grin to myself, hearing a familiar silky tone that I’ve become obsessed with. It’s filled with playfulness, and my dick lurches in my jeans. Dinner can wait.

When I enter the bedroom, I stop mid-stride. She’s still fully dressed and staring at a frame on the wall. Her eyes come to mine, loaded with questions.

That damn picture. I forgot all about the fucking thing. I approach her slowly, never breaking our gaze.

“Did you draw this?” Her fingernail taps on the bottom right corner of the glass where ‘L. Hall’ is scribbled on the final design for this house.

I nod, my heart racing wildly.

“It’s phenomenal. The scale and ratio is exact and precise.”

“I know.” My throat goes dry when her eyes grow wider.

“Only a trained architect could produce this kind of work.”

“I know,” I repeat as beads of sweat pop on the back of my neck.

“Are you going to explain?”

I close my eyes and breathe deep, trying to find my words, then open them and make a decision. No more lies.

“I studied Architecture and Design at NYU. My minor was Construction Management.”

I brace for her reaction, knowing that, at any second, she could figure out who I am. Instead, her face lights up.

“You are gifted, Lawson. This is proof. It all makes a little more sense. Your love of architecture, the residential rebuilds, the family business… Do you help with the redesigns?”

“My company does a bit of everything.”

“You’re being modest.” She pivots on her heel and launches herself at me, catching me by surprise. Her lips land on mine, and she places closed mouthed kisses everywhere.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s this for?” I mutter, tightening my hold.

“I’m impressed. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

Guilt curls in my gut. It takes all I have to suppress it from clawing its way to the surface. Now’s the time to start putting my plan in place.

I thread my hands into her hair, placing my forehead against hers. “Actually, that’s one of the reasons I brought you here. I’m thinking of making some major changes in my career. I want to leave the family business and go out on my own.”

Her breath hitches, and she leans back to scan my face. “Why?”

“There are many reasons I can’t explain right now. But, since meeting you, I’ve become a different man.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I’ve done some very callous things, Greer, things that would escalate my career, and I did them without thinking of the consequences. Things I’m not proud of. Now, I want a different future for myself.”

“You’ve lost me.” Her hushed voice is laced with apprehension.

“I need to be a man worthy of your love.”

“You are a man worthy of my love,” she barely whispers, every word lodging deep.

“God, I hope you always feel this way.” I don’t give her a chance to respond, dipping my mouth to hers and kissing her with everything in me.

Her body folds into mine, and she whimpers against my lips. A new build-up of desire boils inside of me.

I won’t allow myself to tell her how much I love her until I’ve cleaned up my mess. But by the end of this weekend, she’ll know that she owns me.