Chapter 20

Lawson

“You look like a fucking panhandler.” Clay waltzes in my office with Janice on his heels.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You may be here physically, but your head is somewhere else completely.”

“Everyone knew that when you all insisted I be here today. Told you I didn’t give a fuck about this meeting.”

“That was obvious with the non-reaction you had to the formal announcement we won the bid.”

“We already knew it. What did you expect, to see me prancing like a peacock?”

“No prancing, but a little enthusiasm would have been nice to show your team you’re their leader.”

“Not for long.”

“Are you serious? You’re still planning on leaving?”

I shrug. “Probably.”

“Lawson, what’s done is done. You fucked up, but the truth is out now. You can’t throw away your entire career.”

“None of this matters anymore. Don’t you fucking see that? I don’t give a shit about this place anymore. The only thing that matters to me is gone.”

He blows out a loud breath and looks at Janice then back to me. I’m not interested in revisiting this same conversation. Dad, Uncle Rob, Grandpa, Clay, Janice—all of them have tried to talk me out of leaving Morris. Even after I explained my underhanded tactics, they all rallied to change my mind. There was a mood of disappointment, but the panic over me leaving trumped my deception.

I finally relented, telling them I’d take time before making a final decision if they’d remove my name from the final design. I didn’t want any credit. They agreed and I started preparing for a ‘leave of absence’.

“When’s the last time you shaved?” Clay changes the subject.

“The day before Greer left me,” I answer flatly, my heart seizing.

“That was two weeks ago. You look like a homeless hobo.”

“Clay, stop badgering him,” Janice defends me.

I flash her an appreciative glance and go back to focusing on the reports on my desk. “What do you want, Clay?”

“I came to see if you want to talk.”

“Nope.”

“How about coming to my place tonight?”

“Nope.”

“Then I’ll come to your place.”

“I’m not interested in company.”

“Give me a break, Lawson. I’m trying to help.”

“Don’t need your help.”

“Sitting in a dark apartment, getting plastered, and wallowing in self-despair isn’t healthy.”

“My health is the last thing on my mind.”

“Greer wouldn’t want this.”

I snap my head to him, narrowing my eyes. “What the fuck do you know about what Greer would want? You don’t know anything about her.”

“I know she cared enough to make sure I would get to you.”

I bolt to my feet so fast my chair flies backward, tumbling loudly to the floor. Anger growing to rage, it scorches through my veins with a pounding force. My fists clench with an overwhelming need to hit something.

Janice shifts uncomfortably, taking a step toward me.

“You mean when she drugged me and ran away in the middle of the night, leaving my key on the counter and nothing else? The same night I bared my soul to her?”

He plants his legs firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. “You knew this was a possibility. You’ve always known it would be tough.”

“Tough? You call this tough? Let me tell you what torture feels like. When she walked out that door, she took every ounce of me with her. A crushing weight threatens to bring me to my knees every time I think of her, which is twenty-four hours a day. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’m barely functioning on any level. My apartment walls close in on me, and the only reprieve I get is when the alcohol starts to numb the pain and my mind travels to the memories of her. Passing out is the only way to find a few hours of solace. Each night, I go to her bed and pray she will come back to me, then each morning, I wake up alone with a stronger determination to find her, only to discover she’s still a ghost. For two weeks, I’ve stalked her apartment, her work, her friends— anywhere she may be. No one will give me any information. This is so much more than tough; it’s excruciating. Fourteen days without her feels like an eternity in Hell. I don’t know how much more I can take.” When I finish, my chest is heaving and I brace on my desk to remain standing. My head falls forward, exhaustion seeping into my bones.

A soft set of arms wraps around me, and I hear Janice sniff as she hugs me tightly. “You’ll get her back, Lawson. She needs time.”

“I can give her anything in this world, Janice, except time. I need her,” I admit weakly, my voice hoarse with emotion.

“Things have a way of working themselves out. If you love her like you say you do, don’t give up.”

“Never. I’m never giving up.”

She steps back, clasping my shoulder encouragingly. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

“He’s going to need more than will. He’s going to need mercy. And a razor, definitely a razor,” Clay jokes.

I slice my eyes to find him smirking. “You’re a dick.”

“Can’t blame me for trying to make you smile.”

“I’ll smile when I get her back.”

“I hate to bring this up, but have you thought of going to Kevin?”

“Thought of it every day. The only thing holding me back is concern for jeopardizing the business relationship. Morris C&D doesn’t need to bear the consequences.”

“You want me to go see him?” His earlier humor now gone, his face grows serious.

“You’d walk into a lion’s den with Kevin Palmer?”

“I’d do anything for you at this point.”

A new wave of emotions washes over me. I’ve been an ass to Clay these last few weeks, avoiding him at all costs. My phone has gone unanswered, texts ignored, and basic communication stopped. When I woke up in Greer’s bed alone that morning, I knew she’d left me. The emptiness in the apartment was everywhere. Then I found Clay sitting on her sofa. His eyes came to mine, and my largest fear was staring back at me. He tried to talk to me, but I wouldn’t give him the time, instead, rushing to find her. That’s the last time I was in a room with my brother until this morning’s meeting.

“Thanks.” I try to communicate with my eyes that his offer means a lot.

“Anything, Lawson, even if it is sitting in your dark apartment getting sloshed. I’ll do anything to help you. All you have to do is ask.”

My phone vibrates on my desk, and I snatch it up, hoping Greer is finally responding to one of my hundreds of messages. Instead, I find a single message from an unknown number.

Greer is going into her office.

I grab my jacket and fly toward the door, my heart thundering in my chest.

“Where are you going?” Clay yells after me.

“There is an angel of mercy somewhere out there.” I wave my hand in the air and rush to the elevator without looking back.

•∞•∞•

“Greer, baby, please open up,” I beg, leaning my forehead on the door. There’s silence on the other side, but I know she’s there.

The click-clack of heels on tile sounds, and I snap my head when the doorknob twists. I’m greeted by Haley, her eyes full of the same sadness as each day that I’ve stopped by.

“I know she’s here. Let me in.”

“I can’t do that. You need to go. She doesn’t want to see you.”

“You can’t keep her from me.”

“This is her decision. She asked that you leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere until I talk to her.”

“Please, don’t do this to her, Lawson. She’s trying her best to keep it together.”

Right as the words leave Haley’s mouth, there’s a small cry followed by a louder sob. Something inside me breaks, and I slam the door open, barging in. She’s slouched over her desk, her face buried in her shaking hands.

I practically throw myself on her, embracing her tightly against me and dropping my head to her shoulder.

“Baby, I love you. God, I love you.”

She cries harder, uselessly trying to push me away. “Go away.” Her words come out brittle and broken.

“I can’t.”

“If you love me, you’ll leave me alone.”

“I can’t,” I repeat. “You’re my life.”

“You destroyed me, Lawson.”

“I’ll never forgive myself for what I did, but I have a lifetime to prove to you how much I love you.”

“You have to stop doing this to me. The calls, the texts, showing up—all of it has to stop.”

“Never going to happen.”

She wiggles free enough to raise her face to mine. The torment in her eyes slices me wide open. We stare at each other silently, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I have to move on with my life, Lawson, without you.”

A pain sears through my side, momentarily blinding me. Black spots cloud my vision as I refuse to listen to her.

“I—”

“You have about three seconds to let her go and get your ass out of here.” A deep voice booms behind us.

I spin, still holding Greer, and come face to face with a monster of a man. I don’t have to guess he’s a security guard by the way he’s glaring at me with hatred and protection for Greer.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I straighten a little taller and return his glare.

“Let go of her.” He clenches his fists.

The sheer magnitude of this man’s size tells me he’ll pummel me, but a sense of fearlessness takes over.

“Mind your own business.”

“Lawson, don’t test him.” Greer’s voice is soft, and she stops pushing me away. “Just leave before this gets out of hand.”

I glance down to see her still shiny eyes now laced with concern, pleading with me. Her hand slides between us, up my chest, neck, and jawline, coming to rest on my cheek. She scrapes her fingernails lightly through the thickness of my beard. I nuzzle into her touch, my blood pumping harder through my veins. Her face morphs into the most agonizing expression I’ve ever seen in my life.

Tortured.

Heartbroken.

Hollow.

At this moment, I don’t give a shit about myself, but I’ll do anything to wipe that look off her face.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll leave. Listen to me—”

I make the mistake of loosening one arm, and then I’m ripped away from her and flying across the room. She shrieks in horror, the sound reverberating through the space. Haley is at her side in an instant, shoving her back and out of the line of danger. A low, fierce growl erupts from my throat, and all I can see is red. Then he’s in my face, trying to ram me to the wall and secure my wrists.

I draw back a fist and swing, landing it on the man’s chin. He jerks back in surprise, his dark eyes growing black and his face turning to stone. Before I can draw back my fist again, I’m colliding with the floor. All the air is knocked out of me, and I know at least one rib is broken. I wheeze as my adrenaline soars.

He gets one wrist behind my back and yanks me up, pushing me toward the door. I twist, ready to punch him again, but this time, he’s ready for me. I barely feel his fist connect with my face, but the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth and a shooting pain throbs in my cheek.

“Stan, stop!” Greer cries louder, Haley now holding her back.

Men in black uniforms swarm in, two of them securing me and tearing me away from the man named Stan.

“Get him out of here,” he tells the men as they haul me away.

My eye is swelling fast, blood sliding down my lip, and my ribs are screaming in protest, but none of it pains me as much as the torment etched on Greer’s face.

I struggle with all the strength I have to get out of their stronghold, but it’s no use.

“Please stop,” Greer mouths, her body visibly shaking as tears pour down her face.

It takes everything in me, but I do as she asks. The fight drains out of me, and I slump to one side, giving her a small nod.

“I love you more than anything in this world,” I tell her before I’m led away.

The men take no mercy in jostling me roughly to the elevator, then to the security office.

The next half-hour is a blur as the security team tries to figure out exactly how to deal with me. Stan arrives looking smug and leans against a wall, smirking. Everything hurts like hell, but I refuse to ask for medical attention.

All chatter stops, and heads swing to the door when Clay comes charging in, looking like he’s going to rip someone’s head off. His eyes land on me, and he flinches, his mouth drawing in a tight line.

“She called you,” I say as more of a statement than a question.

“Fuck yeah, she called me. You’re one lucky son of a bitch she’s not pressing charges.”

At this news, Stan straightens and a growl rumbles from his throat. It’s my turn to smirk at him.

The move splits my lip again, but satisfaction covers the pain.

“You here to take him home?” Head of security asks Clay.

“Yes.” Clay jerks his head to me to move.

I stand, groaning at the throbbing in my ribcage. He steps over to help me, but I wave him off, trying to salvage what little pride I have left.

“Goes without saying you are no longer welcome in this department store,” one of them calls after me as I shuffle to the door.

I grunt in response and leave without looking back.

There’s no argument when Clay insists on driving me home. The ride to my place is quiet, but I know what he’s thinking.

“She looked broken. I broke her.”

“Mmmhmm,” he mumbles.

“Her glow was gone, but she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Mmmhmm,” he repeats.

We ride quietly the rest of the way to my building until he pulls into a parking space. He releases his seatbelt and faces me with an intensity I’ve never seen before.

“I get it now. Every bit of it. I went to see her before coming to get you. What you saw must have been like looking in a mirror. Both of you are drowning. Lawson, the woman was a mess. Almost inconsolable. She collapsed into my chest, trembling so hard my arms were shaking. She begged for me to get you out of there and get you medical attention, scaring the shit out of me. Sure, you are banged up, but I thought I was walking into a warzone the way she explained it.”

“I’m fine.”

“I know that, but she didn’t. Like I said, I get it now. You said you’d give up everything for her, but I didn’t realize how far you’d go. If she chose to press charges, you’d be sitting in a jail cell right now. Your life as you know it would be altered forever. She wasn’t going to let that happen, but this shit has to stop now. We have to get you to a better place, because now, I’m the one scared.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“You started a brawl with an ex-Seal in Greer’s office while she was forced to witness you getting your ass kicked!”

I don’t reply.

“She’s not that kind of woman, Lawson. You can’t do that again. It’s bad enough you’re deteriorating to the point of unrecognizable, but that woman deserves so much more. You want her back; I know that. But this is not the way to go about it. You’ve become obsessed.”

“I’ve already told you that.”

“Well, you’ve also lost your mind. Now, I’m taking over.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means I’m coming upstairs with you and staying for as long as it takes to convince me you aren’t going off the rails again. You’ve had your hissy fit, and now, it’s time to act like a man. I’ve tried compassion, sympathy, and understanding, but none of it is getting through. It’s time for tough love. I’m not going to sit back, watch you deteriorate and throw away your life.”

“Fuck off.” Irritation stirs in my gut at his term ‘hissy fit’.

He chuckles, spiking my aggravation more.

“You’re not in a position to start a fight with me. You don’t like my plan, but I don’t give a shit. Maybe start acting like a rational human again and I’ll back off.” He gets out of his truck and opens the back cab-door, lugging out a suitcase.

“What the fuck is all that?”

“You just got a roommate for the foreseeable future.” He slams the door and starts toward the elevator.

Dammit to hell. I slowly get out of the truck, holding my side. The events of the afternoon come racing back to me. As much as I hate to admit it, Clay’s right about one thing.

It’s time to change strategies.