Chapter 10

Lawson

“Janice, can you contact Clay’s assistant and see if he has time to run some numbers?” I call through the intercom.

There’s a loud snicker followed by Janice’s hushed whisper. She clears her throat before replying, “Sure thing. As a matter of fact, I think he may be available right now.”

“He’s standing there, isn’t he?”

“Yes, and he’s brought you… something.”

Fucking great. “Send him in.”

My door swings open, and Clay walks in carrying a package and cup of coffee.

His swagger and shit-eating grin set me on edge instantly. “What’s up with you? Why are you hanging outside my office harassing Janice?”

“No harassment. You have the best coffee bar in the entire office, and I have a gift for you.” He places the package in front of me and sits, propping his feet on the edge of my desk.

His eyes light with humor, watching me closely.

“What’s this?”

“Open it and find out.”

I tear away the paper and groan when I see the certificate in the frame. “What the fuck?”

“This goes with it.” He tosses a hundred dollar bill on my desk.

“Employee of the Month? Is this a joke?”

“Yes and no. We don’t officially have an employee of the month award, but Dad says you’ve been pulling double duty, showing up at work sites all over town the last few weeks. Since I know you’re in the office as early as seven a.m. working your ass off, then traipsing over to construction sites to oversee the work, I figured you were vying for employee of the month.”

Dammit! I should have known Dad would open his mouth. “You’re an ass.” I throw his money back at him.

“Want to explain?”

“Nothing to explain.”

“You’re not fooling me, Lawson. Something’s up.”

“Yeah, it’s called fucking work.”

“You hate the construction side of this business and have made that quite clear on numerous occasions.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Clay. I have a stake in every facet of this business. So do you.”

“I’m not buying it. What’s really going on?”

I sit back and meet his eyes, ready for what is sure to be an inquisition. “I decided to take Uncle Rob’s advice and go back to basics. Remember what it’s like to smell the plaster and sawdust. Watch the process. It’s served as an inspiration.”

His eyes grow wide, and he bolts up, his legs falling to the floor with a thud. “Did you just fucking use the word inspiration? Now, I know you’re lying. You don’t give a shit what Uncle Rob or Grandpa think about going back to basics.”

“Not true.”

“Okay, tell me this. You’ve hated every single step of the Simmons project. I was there when you almost ended your career over the last-minute changes to the design that put us back six months with city permits. We’re lucky we retained their business. Yet, you go there every day? I call bullshit.”

He’s right about this; my temper almost lost us the whole project. Luckily, Mrs. Simmons had a soft spot for me since I was the original architect that brought her vision to life. Even with all the changes, she knew she couldn’t start over so she smoothed the tension with her husband.

“I’ll give you this. I did hate the project until about two nights ago when we handed it off to subs. It was my very first major design, and seeing it come to the final stage changed my perspective. I needed it,” I tell him truthfully.

He studies me the same way he always does when he’s trying to find some underlying meaning to my motives.

“I actually believe you.”

“Good, because I’m not lying. It’s the same with the other sites, too. No hidden intentions.”

“Has it helped?”

“Absolutely.”

“This is why you don’t have time to meet me at the gym or join us for drinks after work?”

“Yep.” I don’t add that I’ve been running three times a week in the building gym so I don’t have to leave Greer so early. “Like I said, working.”

“Are you going to show me what you’ve got so far?”

“Actually, I’m done. The design is complete.”

“No fucking way. You’re already done?” His head jerks to my design room.

“Why do you act surprised?”

“Because there’s no way in hell a perfectionist like you is already at the final stage.”

“I’m just fine tuning the details.”

What I don’t mention is the details are based on bits and pieces I pick up from Greer daily. She’s the one who has made this possible. She’s also the reason I started visiting the sites a few weeks ago. That is one truth I’ve told. Getting back to basics, paired with her, has changed my outlook on my job. The nagging feeling of guilt spreads through me, sinking like lead in my stomach. Whenever I’m in this office, I force myself to concentrate, but lately, it’s become useless. She invades my thoughts each minute I’m away from her. There’s no doubt I’ve created the most brilliant design of my life all because of her.

“Did you hear me?” Clay breaks through my thoughts.

“Nope.”

“I asked if you are going to show me?”

“Actually, that’s the reason I wanted to talk to you. I need to go over the financials of the project and give you some idea of what we’re working with. This is going to exceed our original budget by twenty percent, at least.”

His face pales, and he blows out a low whistle, shaking his head. “That is not going to go over well. After your last screw up, I’ve been under scrutiny for not watching the funds closely enough. This is going to be a hard sale.”

“It’s time to put on your big boy pants and find a way to finesse this. Nothing can be spared.”

His jaw hardens at my statement. He hates being told how to do his job, especially by me. “Do I need to remind you about last quarter? We all ate shit to avoid a downsize because of you.”

“You don’t fucking need to remind me. I live it every damn day. But I’m telling you this is different.”

“Show me.”

I stare at him for a few seconds, irritated at his lack of trust in my design. He’s never questioned me before, always believing in my skill. Six weeks ago, I would have laid into him, maybe even kicked his ass out of my office for daring to step in my way. But things have changed.

I have changed.

And I know exactly why. The blonde haired, green-eyed goddess that has inched her way into my soul.

I sigh, scrub my hands over my face, and dig for some type of smart-ass remark I know he expects from me. Nothing comes to mind, so I turn my monitor and pull up the latest saved blueprint I created.

He scoots closer, his eyes darting between the screen and me suspiciously.

“I don’t have time to fight with you today, Clay, but don’t make it a habit to second guess me.”

His lip twitches in a way I know he wants to remark, but he’s smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

Screen by screen, I take him through the design.

Floor by floor, I explain my vision, and his face takes on a new expression. Janice joins us, standing over my shoulder and pointing out special touches I’ve shared with her.

When I’m through, she’s beaming. My brother looks truly shocked.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out. “That is astonishing. This is absolutely the greatest work you’ve ever done.”

“I know.”

“You’ve got my support, in everything. I’ll bend the budgets to find you the money, even if it kills me.”

“Appreciate it. I’ll need that when I present to Rob, Grandpa, and eventually to the rest of the committee.”

“You’ve got this, Lawson.” Janice pats my shoulder with approval. There’s something in her tone that I’ve heard several times since she figured out I was seeing someone.

This doesn’t go unnoticed by Clay, who narrows his eyes. He looks between us, and I catch the wheels spinning behind his stare. He’s alert, which means I need to be ready for anything.

He leans back, lacing his hands behind his head, and smiles wide. “Good job, bro.”

“Thanks.”

“Now that business is out of the way, let me tell you about something funny that happened at the Simmons project yesterday morning.”

Now, it’s my turn to go on alert, trying to recall if anything was out of place when I led Greer out of the apartment the other night. I was careful to leave no evidence of us being there.

“What’s that?” I gruff, pretending not to care.

“Word is, when the construction crew showed up, there was an imprint on the windows in the master bedroom. It caused quite a stir.”

Fuck! I know where he’s going with this, but I remain stoic.

“There a problem with the windows?”

“Nope, they’re fine. But they were marred with the distinctive mark of an ass print.”

As hard as I try to remain emotionless, my dick lurches in my pants at the memory of fucking Greer against the wall of windows.

Janice sucks in an audible breath and makes an excuse to leave, her face turning pink as she scurries away.

Smooth, Janice.

“Don’t know what to tell you, Clay. I’m not up to date on the construction gossip.”

“Why don’t you cut to the chase and save us a lot of time and energy? Tell me what’s going on with you.”

I remove my glasses and squeeze the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes in irritation. He really is a dog with a bone. When I open them, I give him a hard glare.

“I think I’ve proven to you exactly where my head is at. When I had my ass handed to me, the expectation was to breathe, eat, and sleep this project until it consumed me. That’s exactly what I’ve done. You’re starting to annoy the shit out of me with your suspicions and skepticism. Can’t you do your job and get me the money?”

It was a dick thing to say, even for me.

He gets up without a word and heads to the door. When he grips the knob, I know I need to make this right because, even though he’s getting too close for comfort, he’s still my brother.

“Clay, stop.”

He glances over his shoulder, his expression motionless.

“Thanks for worrying, but it’s not necessary. Next week, I’ll be freed up earlier in the evenings. If you want to hit the gym or go for a run, let me know.”

It’s not an apology, but it’s the closest he’s going to get.

“Monday, five-thirty,” he tells me, flicks his hand in goodbye, and leaves.

Even with the heavy mood in the air, I chuckle to myself thinking about Greer’s ass print on the window. That one little detail makes the Simmons project worth every single headache.

When I close my eyes, I can picture her holding on to me as I fucked her relentlessly all over that apartment. No inhibitions, no shyness, no reservations. She gave it all back to me.

The sound of her moans, cries, and whimpers, my name on her lips echoing off the walls, the sting of the bite when she sunk her teeth into my neck; all of it comes rushing back.

But the humor is short lived when my chest seizes in pain and my blood runs cold. Beads of sweat pop on my forehead, and my head starts to pound. I grow dizzy, my desk coming in and out of focus as I try to even out my breathing.

Guilt, shame, and remorse flood my system. My brain kicks in, telling me what I’ve known from the beginning. I’m in too deep, and I’ve brought her down to hell with me.

It’s time. I have to end this sham and walk away.

•∞•∞•

“I understand. Have a nice time.” Greer’s voice is laced with disappointment.

“It’s only one night,” I say for the second time.

“I know, but if you change your mind, call me and I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“Greer,” I growl. “I’ve told you about that. Lock your fucking door at all times.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She clutches my sweater and lifts up to run her lips across mine.

It takes every fiber in my body not to pick her up and march us back to her room.

Fuck her one last time.

Taste her one last time.

Make love to her one last time.

Feel her come undone and give herself to me one last time.

But I can’t do that to her. For once, since meeting her and starting this scam, I know I’m doing the right thing.

I nip her bottom lip lightly and force myself to step out of her grip. The taste of her lip gloss coats my lips, making this harder than it already is.

“Call you later, babe. Have a nice night.”

She knows something is up. Since the minute I walked into her apartment tonight with my phony excuse of going out with the guys, she’s eyed me skeptically. I waited for the questions, but they never came.

I take one last look at her, the image burning into my brain as I leave abruptly, not able to handle the pressure building inside.

Because this may be the last time I see Greer Palmer.

My chest tightens, scorching as if a fiery blade has been plunged straight into my heart.

I go through the motions, leaving the building, getting into my truck, and driving to the closest liquor store. Once there, I grab a bottle of whiskey and head to the other side of the city.

To my loft.

Tonight, I will cut Greer loose.

I knew it this morning when she rolled over in my arms and flashed her smile directly at me. That look pierced through every cell and nerve in my body.

My conscience has finally gotten the upper hand, and the only person I care about in this scenario is Greer. I’ve gotten in too deep, and if I end this now, she can move on and forget I ever existed in her life. I can go back to being an egotistical asshole with no attachments or feelings.

I realize my mistake the second I walk through my door. Without ever being here, Greer still surrounds me.

My knees buckle, and I sink to the cold ground, gripping the bottle tight.

Tonight, Lawson, it has to be tonight. I tell myself over and over.

Get drunk, be an asshole, make her wish she’d never met you.

Prove that you are the arrogant son of a bitch you’ve always been.

I stare at the bottle in my hand, willing myself to open it and drink half the liquor in one gulp. Start the process, get this going.

Beads of sweat pour down my neck and back, chilling me to the bone. My mind races with nothing but thoughts of Greer and the time we’ve had together. Memories of our first date at the café when I mentally thought that Greer would be perfect for someone like Clay; I was wrong.

She’s perfect for me. Every single thing about her is perfect for me.

She’s everything I never knew I wanted and nothing I can have.

How can I salvage this when everything we’ve built has been a lie?

I chuckle into the darkness, knowing now I’m lying to myself. Because what we have is real, the most real I’ve felt in my life. It stopped being a lie a long time ago.

The depth of my feelings and affection runs so deep; I can’t deny it anymore. For the first time in my existence, I understand what true love is.

“FUCK!” I scream, dropping my head between my knees and trying to stop the panic rising in my chest. My pulse speeds rapidly, black spots fill my vision, and an icy freeze coats me.

For the second time in two days, I’m certain I’m having a heart attack, my blood vessels throbbing in my head, neck, throat, and chest. I can’t catch my breath and fall to my side. The bottle clanks to the ground, rolling away.

I gasp into the room, unable to get to my phone in my pocket.

I’m paralyzed, anxiety taking over, threatening to literally suffocate me. I close my eyes, ready for the complete darkness to take over.

I don’t know how much time passes, but when I open my eyes, my skin is tingling. The smell of Greer’s perfume on my sweater fills the air. My strength returns, and I’m able to push into a sitting position as my head clears.

She’s yours, Lawson.

Don’t lose her.

I bolt to my feet, stumbling a little to catch my balance. This isn’t happening.

My fingers fly over the keypad, hoping like hell she’s still awake.

Baby, I’m coming home. Unlock your door.

The bubbles appear instantly, then her message arrives.

Okay, honey. Be safe. See you soon.

Okay Honey…

Be Safe…

See you soon…

Seven words set my body flooding with relief.

I rush to my truck and speed like hell through the city to get to her. Once in the elevator of our building, I force myself to breathe deep, to calm down. She can’t see me like this.

When the elevator dings and I step out, Greer’s door cracks open and she peeks her head out. I make it to her in four long strides, pushing the door open and, at the same time, pulling her into me.

“I got to where I was going, and it didn’t feel right. So, I came back to you.”

“You came back to me?” Her voice is muffled in my sweater, the heat of her breath hitting my chest.

My heart races for a new reason. Just having her close calms me.

“I’m sorry I left you.”

She loosens herself from my hold and tilts her face to mine. “You were going out with your friends. Why are you sorry?”

“Because I was a dick.”

“I’ll admit you were a little abrupt, but—”

I place a finger on her lips to hush her and place a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Trust me when I say I’m sorry.”

“Why does that put me on edge? You’re acting cagey tonight. Did something happen while you were out?”

“Sure as shit did.” I let out a throaty chuckle. “I realized I am completely enamored with a certain blonde, and I’d rather be here than anywhere else in this city. Not to mention, tomorrow’s Sunday. Sunday is our day, and I’m not waking up without you.”

She studies my face, her eyes sizing me up, searching for answers to my mercurial behavior. I drop my finger from her lips, curling my hand around the back of her neck, and squeeze lightly.

She smiles…

That damn smile…

The captivating beam that causes my heart to stop and speed at the same time.

“Well, I poured a glass of wine and was ready to settle down with a movie. Since you’re here, you can pick the movie.”

“Can we do that at my place? I want you in my bed tonight.”

“Sure, let me grab some things. I can meet you there in a few minutes,” she offers.

“I’ll wait. I’m not leaving you again tonight.”

“Now, you’re being ridiculous again.”

I shrug, letting her go and swatting her ass playfully. “Get your things and let’s go. I have wine at my place.”

She rolls her eyes and steps away, going in the direction of her bedroom. When she’s out of view, I run my hands through my hair and breathe out a huge sigh.

If she thinks I’m ridiculous, it’s okay. Because what she doesn’t know, and never will, is that I’m serious. I’m not walking out that door again tonight without her.

I did it once.

And it almost killed me.