With so much to do and not enough time to do it, Autumn and Jackson didn’t arrive home until eleven that night. She delivered two litters of puppies, performed emergency surgery on cat ho would have died without her help, and scheduled numerous patients for anything from regular checkups to annual shots to keep her busy tomorrow. Autumn couldn’t have done it without Jackson, Summer and Marc. And she told them so before they left for the night.
Now sitting in a bathtub full of strawberry-scented bubbles, she lay back and relaxed for the first time that day. There was no doubt she was worn out and probably wouldn’t lie in bed five seconds before she was sound asleep.
She didn’t think about her problems. Jackson had worked so hard to make her life easier, and it only made her fall harder for him. She honestly didn’t know what she would have done without him.
She fished around the bottom of the bathtub for her bath puff and poured a generous amount of bath wash on it. The warm water surrounded her, easing her muscles. The comforting bubbles popped against her skin and crackled in the silence of the bathroom.
Jackson knocked on the door. “Autumn, you have a phone call. It’s your dad.”
She smiled and granted him entrance. After handing the phone to her, he turned to leave but Autumn stopped him with her hand, grabbing his wrist.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Hey, pumpkin. How is everything going?”
Tears gathered in her eyes. “Better now that I’m talking to you. When are you coming home?”
“Possibly at the end of the month. We’re still working on some things, you know finalizing them.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t want to talk about work though. I want to talk about you. Are you mad at me for sending Cooper to be your bodyguard?”
Autumn rubbed her thumb in a circle along his wrist. “At first, I was pissed. But Jackson’s sort of grown on me. Did he tell you about the vandalism?”
“Yes. I don’t know what I can do to help you though, sweetie.” Her fathers voice faded in and out.
“Just hearing your voice helps more than you know.”
He chuckled. “Well, you can expect two bear hugs when I get back. Be ready for them.”
She ended the conversation and handed the phone to Jackson. She let the water out of the tub and stood to wrap a soft navy blue towel around her. She noticed the heated look in Jackson’s eyes though neither one of them spoke.
“My dad may get to come home at the end of the month.” Bubbles dripped down her legs, the soft bathmat at her feet catching them. “Do you think all this will be resolved before then?”
Jackson leaned against the vanity, arms crossed. “I called Davis. If things get out of hand, we’re going to see Gallagher.”
She grabbed her toothbrush and dabbed a bit of toothpaste onto it. “I don’t want you to get Davis involved or go cause trouble with Frank. Nothing will come of it.”
Jackson glanced at her. “I guess I should keep the bit of info about Jeff and Kristin coming in a secret?” He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “They’re going to help out at the clinic along with the rest of us.”
She finished brushing her teeth and turned in his arms. “You called my overbearing brother? Damn it, Jackson. Why?”
“Because he knows the info I need about Gallagher.” He kissed her. “Not to mention you are his sister.”
“What do you need to know about Gallagher?”
“All the dirty details you won’t talk about.” He pressed a finger against her lips. “Don’t say anything because you and I both know you won’t talk and Jeff is the only one who can weasel juicy gossip out of you.”
Autumn frowned. “What do you want to know?”
“Nothing. Not right now.” He rubbed his hands along her sides. “Right now, I want to crawl in bed and forget about everything.”
Autumn sympathized and let it go. “Thank you for being there for me today. I hate to admit it but I really needed someone and I’m glad you were there.”
Jackson smiled and pressed his forehead against hers. “Let’s get some sleep.”
After turning out all the lights, Autumn put on a slinky turquoise chemise. It wasn’t the sexiest thing she owned but it definitely had its own appeal. Jackson’s gaze roamed the length of her body, but he didn’t comment. She didn’t know why, but she really wanted him to say something about it.
“Sweet dreams, babe.” He kissed her forehead. “Are we catching Pepé Le Pew tomorrow?”
“No.” She smiled. “I’m sleeping in.”
Jackson stepped back, making his way to the door. If she didn’t know better, she would have said that he hesitated a bit before going to his room. A small part of her wanted him to stay, even if they didn’t have sex.
Autumn crawled in bed and tucked the covers around her. She had to get things back on a professional level before they totally fucked up her life. First thing being ending all intimate interactions with Jackson. No matter how great it felt to be in his arms, she didn’t belong there.
* * * *
After lying in bed three hours, Autumn was still awake. She was exhausted from lack of sleep and the adventures of the day but her mind wouldn’t turn off. Finally, she threw the covers back and stood. The house was silent and dark as she walked down the hall toward Jackson’s room. Her heart beat erratically in her chest. What the hell am I doing?
Before she talked herself out of it, she knocked on his door, slightly opening it. “Jackson?”
Nothing. She pushed it open more and walked into his room a few feet. She saw his figure sprawled out in the middle of the bed in a pool of moonlight shining through the window.
“Jackson?”
He moved slightly. “Hmmm?”
Now what? She walked closer. “I can’t sleep.”
He rolled on the bed and flipped the bedside lamp on. The light nearly blinded her. Jackson rubbed his eyes and yawned, sitting up. He looked so sexy in his disheveled state, stubble along his chin, no shirt, and she was willing to bet no pants either.
He lifted the sheets and patted the empty spot on the mattress. “Come on.”
“Do you mind?”
“Sweetheart, you don’t even have to ask.”
She crossed the room and climbed in beside him. The sheets were warm and smelled like him, a scent that was nothing but pure pheromones. He leaned over her to take care of the light.
“Jax, I don’t expect anything from you. I just want to make that clear.”
His hand brushed against her breasts and then down her stomach. “Are you talking about feelings or sex?”
Autumn shrugged in the darkness. “Either. It wasn’t professional of me to say that this morning. Not after I admitted I still have feelings for you.”
“You think way too much.” His hand went lower, to her thigh where he pushed the hem of the chemise upwards a bit. “I’m not going to lie. I’m also not going to apologize for anything.”
Autumn bit her lip when his fingers brushed against her pussy. “Sex only complicates things. It was a weak moment, and I promise it won’t happen again.”
He stopped and pulled away completely. “Is that what has your exhausted mind all worked up? Autumn, I’m not looking for a relationship. Me going down on you in your living room is hardly anything to fret over. I told you I wanted you and I’ve never hidden it.”
“Are you saying I’m more than an orgasm to you?” She held her breath.
Jackson sat up and reached across to flick the lamp on. “It offends me you even have to ask.”
She sat up, too. “Well what am I suppose to believe, Jackson? I fully acknowledge I instigated it. I accept it for what it was, but you confuse me. I can’t help but wonder if this is history repeating itself.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “That was fourteen years ago. I was an ignorant fool back then who said all the right things to get between a woman’s legs. I admit that. But I don’t want it to be like that with us.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “How do you want it to be?”
Jackson met her eyes. “Honest. I’ve been honest with you since I stepped through your doorway.”
“But you don’t want a relationship, so why does honesty matter?”
He groaned and fell back against the pillows. “I didn’t say I didn’t want a relationship. I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship.”
“So you do?”
“Autumn, go to sleep.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “No. Answer me. I tell you I have feelings for you and you say nothing. And then we have sex and you what? Forgive me for thinking the past is repeating itself.”
“I said nothing because you wouldn’t believe me if I had said anything. And I hardly call tonguing you sex. If you want to believe history’s repeating itself, then that’s your prerogative. I’m tired and not talking about it any more.”
He rolled over, effectively ending their conversation. Autumn turned out the light and lay on her side away from him. His scent surrounded her, as did his warmth. She didn’t have a clue as to where they went from here, but strictly professional was out of the question.
“Autumn, for what it’s worth, I like the nightie. You look hot in turquoise.”
* * * *
The sun peeked through the blinds and lined curtains to shine right in Jackson’s eyes. He ignored it for a while, but the longer he lay there, the worse it got. Soon the damn light nearly blinded him. He rolled over to a warm, sleeping Autumn curled up beside him. She looked so beautiful lying there peacefully resting without a care in the world. He couldn’t help leaning over to kiss her softly on the lips.
“Don’t make me get up now.”
Jackson chuckled. “I’m not. We can stay in bed today for all I care.”
“No can do.” Her eyes fluttered open. “I need coffee.”
He smiled and stretched. Autumn wasn’t a morning person by any means. “My vote is to stay in bed all day.” She smacked his arm. “Ow! What was that for?”
“A laundry list of items. You deserved it.”
Jackson knew it was true. He sat up and glanced at the clock. It was too early to be functioning. “You have to give me one hell of a good reason to get out of bed at this indecent hour.”
“I’ll make you breakfast.” She pulled the covers aside and sat up.
“Not good enough.” He fell back against the soft mattress.
She grinned at him. “You sure? Waffles with fresh-picked strawberries and whipped cream.”
His stomach growled. After all these years, she still remembered his favorite breakfast. Jackson reached for her and tugged her toward him until she conveniently settled on top of him while they spoke.
“I only eat whipped cream off someone.” He grinned. “As you recall, that someone was you.”
“I doubt I’m the only one.”
Jackson saw something change in her eyes, as if his past—their past—would forever haunt them. He wanted to think they could overcome it, that Autumn would believe him and they could move on. He was a real shithead to her before and didn’t understand why he wanted to make amends now. He just knew he had to.
“Do you want a relationship with me, Autumn? The full-fledged boyfriend–girlfriend kind that includes romance and hand-holding?”
“You know I do.” She scooted to the side and stared at the closet. “I’m not going to force you into it, though. I know the reality of the situation and haven’t got a clue about how we can work around it. You’ll leave once the mission is over, and then where will I be?”
Jackson contemplated that too. “Can I tell you something?” he asked.
Autumn turned her head and gave him her full attention.
“I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m thirty-four years old, and I can honestly say, I’ve never had a girlfriend. Isn’t that pathetic?”
“A little.” She smiled. “What are you getting at?”
Jackson didn’t even know himself. “I want you to be my girlfriend. My first.”
He knew in the back of his mind that sounded more pathetic than admitting to never being in a relationship and scolded himself mentally for it.
Autumn needed someone to depend on. He didn’t know how he’d do it with his schedule, but he’d try. If it meant taking cases only in the U.S., so be it. He wanted the chance. Even during the summer they had spent together, he saw her as being different. It hadn’t stopped him from using her, but it opened his eyes now. She deserved to be loved.
“Say something.” Jackson itched to touch her but he held back.
“Yes.”